CHAPTER ONE- Hesitate

RACHEL POV:

It had been almost four months since he broke an egg on my forehead. I still cannot forget how those three words had left me in this state of confusion I am still not out of four months later.

"I loved you."

Did he say that to make the egging leave me in a state of pain, worse that I was already in? Or did he say that because he really meant it? I try to convince myself every time this memory is brought to my conscious mind that the first reason is why he did this, but when I remember the look in his eyes when he was saying those words, I could only see pain.

I don't care anymore why he egged me, because that was in the past. I can't change that, and even if I could, I would change for me to never have met him.

For weeks, I sat at home in solitary watching the old black and white romantic movies thinking repetitively throughout the movies, "Please let this be the last night of this habit," or "I wish we could have been like them."

Does he miss me like I miss him?

Probably not

He's at UCLA, and there are college girls there. The girls are prettier than me, without a doubt. They also probably dress better than me, but I don't have anyone in Lima that could even come close to Jesse.

Finn is sweet, and I feel safe with him. Sure he isn't as good as singing, or dancing, or performing, as Jesse was, and he has no idea what I'm talking about when I'm talking about musicals, but I don't need someone that's good at that, and can know all of that, to make me happy.

Right?

Finn made me feel loved... Unless he was with Santana and Brittany. He always agreed with them, and quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing him agree with the derogatory comments Santana and Brittany are throwing at me.

What am I thinking? I am going out with Finn, and I have for the past two months. I've been trying to win him over since the beginning of sophomore year, and I am not going to let a boy who egged me mess our relationship up.

Even if Jesse is better than Finn.

I pick up my phone to text Finn to have him come over, but I scroll a bit too far and see the name "Jesse St. James."

How have I not deleted his number yet? What am I hoping for? He's not going to call!

But that part of me in my subconscious feels the need to text him, and my fingers are overruled by my subconscious, so I am unable to stop myself from typing one minute word and pressing send.

"Why? -R"

JESSE POV:

I was stupid. I was depressed. I was a douche. Hell, I loved, and still love, Rachel. She was my equal. And not to mention my love for her little animal sweaters.

I shouldn't have left her.I shouldn't have proven my "loyalty" to Vocal Adrenaline by cracking an egg on her head. I shouldn't have even had to prove my loyalty to Vocal Adrenaline; they knew I was helping Coach Corchran. I shouldn't have let Shelby manipulate me. I shouldn't have let her threaten to take away my scholarship.I shouldn't have done a whole load of crap. But, here I am, sitting in my dorm at UCLA, alone, and crying.

Guys don't cry. They beat other people of things up when they're upset. But I'm Jesse . I'm that exception. Rachel's probably thrilled with Finn. I can bet you she is. She's had her eye on him since I can remember. She probably hasn't thought of me in four months. I've thought about her the whole time. I'm sitting silently in my room, and the tears are finally subsiding. I see my phone light up.

"One New Message," it read.

I click on it, thinking it will be from one of my cast mates, but when I see who it's from, I take a sharp breath in, for it is the one person I least expected to ever come in contact with me again.

"Why? -R"