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"It's another serious fic, about Voldemort's wife and daughter...It seems wimpy, but it's darn exciting!"

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It was another regular day in the Riddle household. Tom had returned from a hard day's killing and torture and, ever willing to be accommodating, his wife Chrystaline, who was soft and gentle by nature, had poured him a stiff drink.

"Drink this, my husband." She handed over the tumbler of firewhisky and sat down beside him on the surprisingly mundane sofa.

"Thank you." Voldemort took an appreciative drink and gave his wife a measured look. "Although I am incapable of feeling love, an element of my character that is key to my role as villain in the Harry Potter series, I couldn't live without you. I adore you!"

"Oh, Tom," Chrystaline swooned, her innocent blue eyes brimming with tears. "I do wish that you wouldn't kill and terrorise people. It's not fair on Karma Gwendolyn-Antoinette."

Voldemort sighed, raising a hand to cover his snake-like face.

"It... it tears me apart that our daughter must suffer because of my lust for blood." His face was contorted by anguish and self-loathing. "Whatever will happen to the morals of our little Karma Gwendolyn-Antoinette? She cannot be allowed to follow my example, yet I cannot stop."

At that very moment, as though summoned by a feeble plot device, six year old Karma Gwendolyn-Antoinette flew into the room, her hair (which was bright blue, despite the genetic improbability) streaming behind her. She landed on the floor before her parents. Also, she was actually Hermione Granger, and to avoid a series of tragic and terrible events, her parents convinced the Granger family to adopt her. However, when her super powers manifested following an emotional shock, it had become clear to them that they had to reclaim their child.

"You're not really a killer. In fact, Dumbledore cursed you because he needed a villain to make himself look like the good guy. Really, he's evil and twisted and you're a good man under a curse, which I will now lift."

And with a great deal of drama, Karma Gwendolyn-Antoinette did, allowing her family to live happily ever after.

The end.

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