Okay so, because I got so many good reviews on "Drunk Dialing" I decided to make a Puck version. I'll probably leave it at that, because It wasn't really meant to be a multi-chapter.
But, If enough people want to know what happens next, I might write more to it.
I hope you enjoy it! I've never written Drunk Puck before, Nor do I write much Finn Hudson, but I felt like a Finn part to this story was needed.
I may write a Drunk!Finn call to Quinn, and Vise versa. That could be interesting.
DISCLAIMER: I dont own Glee :[
It had been a long day for Rachel Berry. She had learned seven new songs, worked out for two hours, went shopping for music books and also stalked Vocal Adrenaline to see what they
were cooking up for Regional's (What? She NEEDED to know. They had Sunshine. This was pertinent). So when she got home at Nine she ignored the fact that Puck had called her and went straight to bed, where she drempt of the spot light on her face, crowds of people screaming her name before she started singing "Defying Gravity"
in Times Square for Dick Clarks Rockin New Years. (It was a dream of hers. She really just wanted to meet Dick before the man passed. He was an icon. Besides, she could totally give a shout out to Barbra Streisand whilst on stage. It was a win win for her).
When she awoke the next morning at 9 (She was having an off day. Normally it was much, much earlier but she really just didn't want to get out of bed) she noticed eleven voice mails on her phone. Ten from Puck, and one from Finn. She was too tired to think much of it, so she typed in her passcode and started to listen to the voice mails.
"New message, sent yesterday at 9:20 PM. Hey Berry. I was just thinking, we should chill. I haven't seen you in a hell of a long time… okay a day.. but still. Bring your fine ass over here. Okay. Bye." Rachel laughed slightly. Noah Puckerman sure was one with words… Oh wait, no he wasn't. She didn't understand how he thought he could win her over by saying things like that. It was kinda rude.
But also kinda hot. Okay. Maybe Rachel did find it really sexy. And maybe she did want to rip his shirt off…. Or sing with him… or Rip his shirt off while singing with him.
She shook the thought out of her head and hit "next" on her phone.
"New message, sent yesterday at 10:01 PM
BERRY. Where the fuck are you? Seriously? Damn I wanted to see you. Fucking. Damn. I'm just going to drink now if you aren't coming over. Okay I might have started drinking before I called you the first time. Fuck Berry, Where are you? Damn."
Rachel raised her eyebrows. He seriously said the word "fuck" so many times it made her head spin. She didn't necessarily enjoy hearing that word, but the way Noah said it made her heart beat faster. She loved the way words rolled off of his tongue. It.. Well it kinda turned her on.
But Rachel Berry was not one to admit that she was turned on, because that was so adolescent and un lady like to mention something like that. Not to mention, it was so embarrassing to let people know that she felt like that. Although she had once admitted to the celibacy club that girls wanted sex just as much as guys… It was still had for her to admit that she, Rachel Barbara Berry, wanted to have sex with a one Noah "Puck" Puckerman.
"God Rachel, What are you doing? Just hit the next button and stop thinking about…..intercourse." She said outloud and proceeded to start the next message.
"New Message. Sent yesterday at 10:57 PM Rachel Barbara Berry. Hah, I remembered your whole name. Do you remember that time you said I don't pay attention to the things you say? I totally fucking do. But fuck, you say so fucking much. You make my brain fucking hurt, Berry. Seriously. You make my brain…. I don't get you sometimes. But I wanna fuck you. I don't get it. Damn. Fucking damn." Rachel stared at the phone. What. The. Heck. Noah Puckerman just said that he wanted to have intercourse with her. Okay wow. That seriously… She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to say. She was sort of upset and happy at the same time.
Upset because she wasn't awake to hear this all first hand.
But Happy because she wasn't awake to hear this all first hand.
If she had heard it when he had said it, there was a good chance that she would no longer be a virgin, and she was certain that after they had sex, he would drop her like yesterday's newspaper and never look back. Because, come on, isn't that how Puck was?
He was the guy who slept with everyone. He would never want to be tied down in a relationship with her, even if he had come over that one time to nurse her hangover….. (The one she got when stupid Finn gave her stupid spiked eggnog.)
She didn't know what to think again, her mind was just racing. All she could do was listen to the next message.
"New Message, Sent yesterday at 11:13 PM
Finn's a fucking idiot." That was the whole message. He said it like he was mad at someone. Or just sort of frustrated. What did that even mean? Finn WAS an idiot. He thought his heart was on the right side of his chest, and sometimes he couldn't spell really simple words… Oh and there was that one time he couldn't figure out why 2x2 and 2+2 came out the same, even though it was multiplying and adding, which were two totally different things…
He was an idiot because he could never actually see how much he meant to Rachel. He was an idiot for having sex with Santana and not waiting, when Rachel wanted them to loose it together so desperately. He was just an idiot.
But why was Puck calling him an idiot? Maybe the next message would tell her.
"New Message, Sent yesterday at 11:23 PM Hey Rach, it's Finn. Um, I don't know why, but Puck just called me to cuss me. He said that I was fucking stupid for giving you up, because you're an amazing person. Does this mean you and Puck are together or something? I really don't understand… This is all really confusing me… He just keeps texting me calling me an ass. And other really rude things… But he isn't spelling them right.. I think. So I guess he's drunk. Or maybe he is spelling them right.. and Im spelling them wrong in my head. I don't know. Im so confused."
Finn Hudson was a fucking idiot.
Rachel didn't even know what to think right then. She knew that Puck apparently had called Finn, which meant that maybe he actually cared about her and the way she felt.
Why was her stomach doing that butterfly thing? Why was she planning their wedding in the back of her head. Why did she have the urge to run to his house and give him a thousand kisses…. Then rip his shirt off….
She didn't understand highschool..
"New message, sent yesterday at 11:45 PM. God Damnit Rachel. Why the fuck do you get in my fucking head? You drive me fucking crazy. I just want to… I just want to….
Drink more. That's what I want to do. I want more alcohol." Rachel couldn't even think clearly before she started the next message.
There was nothing to think about
"New Message, sent today at 12:12 AM. Do you ever think that we would be a fucking hot couple? I mean not a couple. But a fuck relationship. Not a relationship. Fuck. My brain hurts. I wish you would fucking come to my house. I feel like I should talk to you in person." So he wanted to be sex buddies? Is that what it was? He didn't want to put up with her full time, he just wanted to sleep with her and be on with his life. Wow. Classy, Noah, Classy.
But he did say couple to begin with….. They would make a hot couple… Being two Jews, it would be totally accepted. And their children would be really talented…
Also, they'd be very attractive.
God why did she want him so bad? He clearly only wanted her for sex. Ugh, Noah Puckerman was a pig.
"New Message, sent today at 12:20 AM I didn't mean fuck buddies. Well, I do think we should fuck. It would be hot as hell. But I didn't mean that that was all we needed to be. I think. The room is spinning so much. Thinking about you makes the room spin. It doesn't usually spin this much when I'm drinking. What is this shit? Rachel. I think you're pretty. Really fucking hot. Beautiful. But Don't tell anyone. Shit. If people knew I said you were beautiful…. They wouldn't call me a bad ass anymore."
Noah Puckerman thought she was beautiful. He thought she was beautiful. The word "beautiful" just came out of his mouth while describing her.
What even.
She couldn't think clearly now. Everything in her brain was just a jumbled mess of the word Beautiful being played over and over as if it were a broken record.
Why couldn't he say these things when he was sober? It would make things so much easier for the two of them.
"New Message, sent today at 12:59 AM I think we should sing a fucking duet together. Then we should duet. hahahahaha. See what I did there?
I said duet, but I totally fucking meant do it.
As in, fuck. We should fuck. Or make love. Or whatever it is you chicks call it. First off, Singing a duet with Noah would be fantastic. Rachel may or may not had already written up a list of songs that she felt would fit their vocal ranges perfectly.
I wanna make you scream my name, Rachel Berry."
Second off, it was really cute the way he used a pun. (One might say it was punny. Get it? Punny instead of Funny… because it was a pun. Oh Rachel. Why are you so punny?)
Third off, Holy Streisand. He wanted to make her scream his name.
How intriguing. She wouldn't mind making him scream hers…
"New Message, sent today at 1:11 AM.
Is it weird that I think I have a crush on you, Rachel Berry?
I don't get crushes.
But fuck, I think I have a crush on you. Fuck. I need someone to take my phone away before I say anything else. I'm making a fucking bitch of myself right now. How do you delete messages? If you were here, id ask you. But you aren't here. Damn you for not being here. Why aren't you here? Fucking. Ugh."
All Rachel could hear after that was a random mess of beeps, from him trying to figure out how to erase the message. Then she heard some more profanity, then a click.
She wondered if he knew that the message had sent. Probably not..
He had a crush on her, he thought she was beautiful, and he wanted to make her scream his name….
Last Message. Hopefully this would be good.
"New message, sent today at 1:40 AM.
We should go on a date. I'll even buy you a flower. Goodnight Berry."
That was all Rachel needed to hear to get herself up out of bed. She put on her clothes, brushed her hair and teeth, put on a little bit of makeup, and then walked to Noah's house
(Which was only a few blocks away, and Rachel needed the walking time to think about the things that he said.)
When she got there, his mother let her walk right into the house (She also hugged her for a very long time, and wanted to talk to her about the name of the future Puckleberry children, but Rachel just smiled and told her it was important to see Puck right away. So put the baby book away and let Rachel leave.)
When Rachel walked into Noah's room, he didn't have a chance to say a word to him before she kissed him.
All the emotions that they were both feeling for eachother were now up in the air. They cared about eachother, clearly. They wanted to be together, but it was going to take work. Noah Puckerman wasn't a relationship kind of guy and Rachel Berry could be a little overbearing.
"So about that date…." She said with a smile and kissed him again.
This was the start of something very fantastic, she could feel it.