As the summary says, these are a collection of Finchel one-shots that are loosely based on song lyrics. They're unrelated to one another, and some of them are A/U, so I hope you enjoy them, and reviews would be greatly appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or any of the song lyrics used in the subsequent chapters

Girlfriend - Daniel Bedingfield
Set after 'Never Been Kissed'

"Why are we all here?" asked Finn dumbly as he glanced around the choir room, noting the absence of the girls (and Kurt).

"I called a meeting for us boys; this is an emergency session," said Puck, who pulled up a chair between Artie and Mike.

Finn furrowed his brow, 'cause he wasn't really sure how he'd gotten here in the first place. "O...kay then, but is there something wrong?"

Sam snorted as he blew his hair out of his face. "Where do I start? Quinn doesn't seem to want anything to do with me."

"I think I have a crush on Brittany," admitted Artie.

Mike scowled to himself. "I still can't believe Tina said Coach Beiste's name!"

"Santana has me by the balls," scoffed Puck as he leant back in his chair.

Finn didn't say anything, because apparently the emergency session was about girls, and he didn't have anything to add. "And the point of this is?" he asked hesitantly, 'cause Puck seemed overly angry, and he wasn't in the mood for a punch up.

"Look, here's what I figure," Puck said, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles while Artie winced beside him. "We're all dudes, we're all hungry for some action, and we're all in glee; we might as well share our knowledge about the hot female race!" He tugged obnoxiously on the collar of his shirt with a smug smirk. "Obviously, I have the most experience in that area, so you losers might wanna take notes."

Mike rolled his eyes at Sam while Artie pulled out a notebook and began to scribble something down.

"Evans, let's start with you 'cause I've been there, tapped that, and fathered a kid to prove it."

Finn sat in total silence, 'cause really, this was a terrible idea. For one thing, he wanted to keep his relationship with Rachel private, and for another, he didn't wanna admit that he'd only touched her boob once. Besides, it was a bit od that Puck was talking about Quinn, since they had a love/hate relationship, not to mention a baby, and for him to tell Sam how to 'tap that'... it was kinda twisted.

"You're really gonna help me out?" asked Sam, quietly impressed.

Puck shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. It's no big deal. She's a prude and she wants nothing to do with me, so what should I care?"

Finn nearly fell asleep, because for half an hour, he had to listen to 'the foolproof plan of how to get Quinn Fabray drunk on wine coolers', which, by the way, was totally boring and sexist and all kinds of things that he couldn't get his head around; it was easy to forget that he and Quinn had dated.

"Wow dude, thanks! A few of the guys on the football team warned me that you'd wanna beat the crap out of me for wanting to date her."

"Whatever, I'm over that bitch." He leaned forward in his chair and whispered, "do you know she hates Super Mario? What's that about?"

"Can we talk about Brittany now?" asked Artie, who looked just as bored as Finn felt.

"I didn't think she was your type," Mike said, though he went quiet when he remembered who his type used to be.

"Yes, I must admit that cheerleaders haven't really piqued my interest before, but there's something about Brittany that's endearing."

Finn nodded along to try and prove he was listening, even if the word endearing just made him picture Brittany with deer antlers.

"Just talk about kittens and tell her you believe in fairies, then she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand," said Puck. He nudged Mike with his elbow and grinned. "I told her I had a leprechaun under my bed, and I asked her if she wanted to see it." Mike and Sam sniggered. "Didn't take long till we were doing the nasty, and that's how it's done."

Finn stopped himself from simply walking away. Had Puck always been such an ass? Had Finn ever acted like that?

"I guess I could go along with that," said Artie with a hesitant nod. "Thanks Puck."

"No problem man, no problem. Chang, you're next, what's up with your vampire chick?"

Mike shrugged and pulled a face, searching for the right words. "She always seems to be annoyed with me, and I don't get what I'm doing wrong."

"I know," said Finn excitedly, 'cause he could actually advise him on this. "Just ask her. Honestly dude, guys like us just can't work girls out sometimes, and I've learnt that you just have to be upfront and honest about stuff. Rachel was angry, and I thought it was 'cause I'd fallen asleep when we were talking on the phone before bed." He shook his head as he remembered the situation. "Turns out she was pissed because she'd missed some documentary on that Streisand singer woman, and then she got even more pissed 'cause I hadn't asked her what was up..." He trailed off at the incredulous look on Puck's face.

"Why the hell did I ever choose you as my wingman? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard." He pressed a hand to Mike's shoulder and shook him slightly. "She's annoyed cause she's PMSing. Just buy her a load of chocolate and she'll be as good as new."

"Oh, right, thanks," said Mike, though he smiled in Finn's direction too. "What's your problem with Santana?"

Puck's look instantly darkened. "She was just my booty call, but I kind of want more than that." Sam let out a low whistle and Puck threw his hands in the air. "I know right? I think I'm just gonna blow her out so I don't have to deal with that crap. Sex isn't as fun when there are strings attached."

All eyes looked to Finn, who was fumbling nervously with his watch. "What?"

"Well, how are things with Rachel?" ventured Artie.

Girlfriend
You make my head start spinning around
And all I can ever hear is the sound
Of your heart beating in my ears

"Good." Finn didn't feel the need to say any more, but it seemed to be some kind of rite of passage or something, 'cause they wouldn't stop staring. "Really good, alright? Like, it's nearly perfect. We're awesome."

Girlfriend
This boy has found another reason to sing
You're reminding me of everything
That I hold dear in my heart

Puck pretended to retch, which made Sam laugh under his breath. "Can you say whipped?"

Finn stood up angrily, rolling his hands into fists. "No, I'm not, but I wouldn't care even if I was. Rachel's the best girlfriend ever. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's talented, and she's my best friend."

And I'm feeling elevated
Lifted to my highest dream
My whole world's revolving in circles round your heart

He stood tall and proud in front of them 'cause he loved Rachel, and they were jealous that he was so happy. "She might be small, and she might be controlling, and she might have forced me to try soy milk, but all her bad qualities are outweighed by the epic things about her, and she just gets me. She might not wanna have sex for a while, but I'm actually alright with that." Crap, he hadn't meant to tell them that but whatever, he was on a frickin' roll!

You gotta be the one for me or else life makes no sense
So wrap your arms around me
Kiss me till I'm dead

"I love her, even if no one else gets how perfect she is." He grabbed his jacket and backpack from his chair and slung them both over his shoulder. "I gotta go now 'cause I'm meeting up with her, and the first thing I'm gonna do when I see her is kiss the hell out of her." Finn strode out of the choir room proudly, love and affection oozing from every step.

The rest of the boys sat in shocked silence for a minute until Puck snorted. "Told you he's whipped."