Why the Cullens Don't Play Sports

"What's so funny, Alice?" Jasper asked, interested, but slightly apprehensive.

Everyone was home except for Esme, who had run out on a home decorating run and would, unfortunately, be back shortly. Not that Jasper didn't like Esme, of course not, but, her remodels never went smoothly; either everyone started arguing about the new placement, normally started by Alice, or the house turned into basically a war zone, with the new arrangements being sabotaged at every step, normally started by Emmett. He hoped that wasn't what was amusing his wife. Carlisle would be back later that evening, working at the hospital. Then, Edward and Bella should be home any second. They were always the last home next to Carlisle and Esme.

Alice stopped giggling, but continued to keep a very amused smile on her face, shook her head and answered, "Sorry, Jazz. You'll see shortly, though."

"Something Bella does?" asked Emmett eagerly.

Rosalie smirked, while Jasper just looked at him, and Alice kept smiling. Emmett took that as confirmation and responded, "Awesome!"

Alice chuckled and answered simply, "We'll see, Emmett."

The way she said it gave Emmett a second's pause, but before he could think it through, everyone heard Bella's ancient excuse for a truck pull up. Of course it was Emmett who announced, quite unnecessarily, "Bella's here!"

Outside, Bella was pouting as usual about not driving her own truck, "Why do you always insist on driving?"

Edward smiled as he opened the passenger door, "First, I'm a better driver, so it's safer. And, second, though I don't necessarily mind, you should know by now that a household of adolescent vampires aren't very patient."

Bella chuckled as they walked inside together and was greeted by a waving Emmett, "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Emmett," she responded simply, by now used to his enthusiastic greetings and no longer worrying herself over why that may be.

As Bella headed into the kitchen to get a drink, she looked up for a second, and turning around mentioned, "You know, Edward, I was wondering today, everyone knows that me playing any sport would be more entertaining than the actual sport," she shot a look at Emmett, whose laughter rose above everyone else's chuckle, then continued, "but, how come you never do any sports? Any of you, actually. You guys could actually give our school something to cheer about in the sports department."

Alice was the only one who had the good humor to chuckle, though Edward was fighting it, and Rosalie gave a brief smirk and then a pointed look at Emmett. Of course, Alice saw it.

"Emmett's not the only reason, Rosalie," she said pointedly, but continued, "And as packed as your stories are, Bella asked Edward first."

Bella got interested, "Edward? What happened?"

"Oh, of course, Edward's perfect, nothing ever happened to golden boy Edward," Rosalie remarked, sarcastic.

Before Emmett could confirm and make it sound worse than it was, Edward conceded, "I tried out the swim team last time we were here. Well, you know we try not to draw attention to ourselves."

Alice chuckled, "The majority of the pool couldn't take their eyes off him."

Bella blushed hard as Edward shot a glare at Alice, "The main problem was that as much as we try to hold back, especially in physical activities, it's easy to forget the restraints humans have. I was pushing it on how often I would breathe, but it helped the times and was still within regulation.

"Barely," snorted Rosalie.

Edward ignored her, "so that had already dragged attention to me, and then, well, everyone in this family is competitive," he was defensive, looking at each of his siblings.

Before he had time to continue, though, Alice jumped in, "Edward, you nearly drowned the guy next to you."

"What?" Bella asked, her voice high in surprise, but also seeming to hold back a laugh.

Edward glared at his sister, who just shrugged, "It's true."

"She exaggerating," he remarked, still glaring, "I just got a little too into the race, forgot how easily water reacts to motion, and just turned quick enough that, against the pool wall, it created an unusually large wave that rolled back and the guy next to me was going just the right speed to be the perfect distance away to get caught in it. He was on the swim team, though. You would see him after practice goofing off with his friends on who could hold their breath the longest. He was fine, I just got a little carried away."

"You were also half a pool's length ahead of him, Edward, "Alice reminded.

Bella frowned, "But, that can still happen. A freak thing, and everyone, even humans, get too competitive at times. It doesn't seem like that one incident would be cause for all of you to not play anymore."

Looking at Alice, now Edward smiled, "Oh, you're probably right. Alice helped, too."

"What are you talking about," asked Alice, a little too quick, "I won a cross-country race, big deal."

Emmett laughed again, as Jasper joined in and Edward explained, "Except that you somehow broke the school record with enough time to, at some point in the race, change your outfit and have a few other bags waiting with Jasper."

Bella laughed, it was so like Alice. But, what, exactly, had she done?

"Edward, do you remember those race outfits? They were hideous! Besides, the best stores in town were right across the path from the track and they were selling 50% off. One store even threw in a free purse with orders over $100, too easy and sooooo much fun!"

"Alice, it's not possible for a human to break a record and have time to change clothes, especially picking out the best outfits for the perfect amount of money," Edward answered slowly.

"But, they were really cool clothes, especially at that price, and that's why I had Jazz come pick up some of them," Alice pleaded and Bella couldn't help but laugh.

Jasper had a thin smile, "Which I probably should have known, better. But, at the same time, I knew better than to get in the way of Alice and clothes. Besides, Alice wasn't really so bad in comparison. She just changed outfits. Rosalie actually gave a girl a concussion."

Now, Alice was chuckling, and Bella just stared, somehow not surprised. Rosalie was glaring at Jasper in disbelief, "It was the perfect spike. The stupid girl just wasn't paying attention. That wasn't my fault."

"You played volleyball?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Only because Emmett loved to see her in spandex in public," remarked Jasper with a chuckle, joined by Edward, Alice, and Bella wasn't quite sure if she thought it was funny or not.

"Hey, why not?" Emmett responded unfazed.

"Anyway," Rosalie continued, "Really, I spiked the ball, maybe a little too hard, but it's like Edward said, our family tends to get competitive. It was right to her, she just didn't move," then she finished quickly, "I guess it hit her hard and square enough on the head she got a concussion, but that was her fault, not mine."

"Sure, Rose," sarcastically agreed Jasper, "I think the ball was going fast enough to have the same effect as being hit square on the head with a bowling bowl."

"And I'm so sure you actually took the time to calculate the speed of the ball at that instant. If anyone did, it would have been Edward or Carlisle and as neither of them has spoken up in the past seventy years, I don't think it was so drastic," she rebuked, "besides, at least I didn't cause a televised riot over some stupid Confederate remark!"