T'was the morning after Christmas, when all through PB,
Not a creature was stirring, on account of strong sherry.
Some panties were flung by the door without care,
Because Murdoc Niccals had partied near there.

The collaborators had scattered some time in the night,
Since visions of his plan had given them a fright.
But Cyborg with her ammo and machine guns to spare,
Had chased them all down and kept them captive there.

When outside my window I felt the earth shatter;
I sat up and wondered what might create such a clatter.
I looked to the porthole and thought of the whale,
And warily inched open the window's red veil.

The water was still crap and with no whale in sight,
I peaked out farther to bask in morning ocean light.
But then in the distance a shadow did loom,
And with each passing second it did seem to zoom.

It grew larger and larger until all I could see,
Was a monstrously hefty blue jean-clothed knee.
More rapid than T3's I escaped from my prison,
And as I did, I heard his rough Brooklyn diction:

"Yo, Snoop Dogg! Yo, Kano! Sup, Bashy and Mark E!
Hey, De La, Hypnotic! Oi, Mos Def and Bobby!
Get the fuck out here, and outta yo' stall!
So run away! Run away! Run away, y'all!"

When I got to the top, it put me at ease,
To see no traps reserved for escapees.
Under the sun, the "guests" of The Beach,
Had all gathered there with the intent to impeach.

And then, a thundering, I heard on the rafters;
The curling, unfurling of Cyborg's big blasters.
She pounced from the roof and started to purr,
Murdoc Niccals was there, until he saw her.

Her legs were all stripey, from her toes to her thighs,
And her dress was too short, like it wasn't her size.
The dress, it was covered in thick canvas pockets,
And gave the impression it held more than rockets.

Her face; it was masked! Her mouth; it was sour!
Her lips, red like roses, but t'was unlike a flower,
To be puckered up, angry, and growling like so,
And yet I still noticed her skin was like snow.

I remembered her youthfully knobbly knees,
That had since been replaced by a sinewy tease.
The butt of a fag was held tight in her hand,
Hard to believe that's the girl from my band…

M1A1 she carried, the model, her gun,
And it clinkered and clattered like it weighed a whole tonne.
And strapped to her back was her favourite red Fender
Aside from all that, I gaped at her splendor.

And with her appearance, I noticed Russ leave,
With all the collaborators tucked up his sleeve
Murdoc and Cyborg moved just as quick,
They returned to the fortress which locked with a click.

But before she chased after, she tackle-hugged me,
Threw down her Tommy and uttered with glee,
"I've missed you so much! Merry Christmas!" said she,
"...You're in much need of some Vitamin D!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

Big thanks to Skipper, my beta~! I stayed somewhere this past week where they pumped the building full of Christmas music, and since my head was full of nothing but The Fall, THIS WAS BORN. I tried to keep it in iambic pentameter where applicable, (and failed gloriously) hahaha. And some of the rhymes are only near rhymes, but oh well, it was fun~~

PS. T3 stands for Tylenol no.3, which is super fast acting pain relief. Where I live, you can only get it over the counter. I figured 2D would be intimate with these :)