"I've had it!" Angelina announced, striding angrily into the fifth year girls' dormitory in Gryffindor tower. She threw her bag onto her four-poster bed and spun around, red in the face.

"What's wrong now?" Alicia asked in alarm. The last time Angelina looked this angry was when Fred Weasley had, copying her handwriting, sent a passionate love letter to Graham Montague last year on Valentine's Day. Katie slowly edged away from the scene in case Angelina decided to hurl her books across the room as she had done when said incident occurred.

"It's that Fred-bloody-Weasley!" Angelina fumed, throwing herself down onto her bed.

"Not again?" Alicia asked incredulously. "Who did he send it to this time? Cassius Warrington?" Katie scurried back eagerly, assured that Angelina was not going to start hurling items, and burning with curiosity.

"No way." Angelina said, looking horrified. "If he had done that I would have disemboweled him!"

"You didn't disembowel him the last time." Alicia said suspiciously.

"But she did hit him with a nice Jelly-legs Jinx." Katie piped up.

"That was different." Angelina snapped. "It was horribly embarrassing but at least it wasn't insulting."

"Why not?" Alicia demanded. "They're both Slytherins!"

"Well you've got to admit Graham Montage is a hell of a lot hotter than Cassius Warrington." Angelina said calmly.

"No he's not!" cried Alicia indignantly.

"What's going on here?" asked a visibly confused Katie.

Alicia suddenly realized how her comment sounded. "Not…not that I'm defending Warrington or anything." She said hastily. But Angelina did not seem to have heard her. She stood up so abruptly that Alicia and Katie both jumped back.

"That's it." She announced to the room at large. "I'm going to ask Montague to the Yule Ball."

"WHAT?" Alicia and Katie both shouted, jumping to their feet as well.

"Ange, are you feeling ok?" Alicia asked anxiously.

"This is you, Angelina?" Katie asked suspiciously. "Not…I don't know, Pansy Parkinson after Polyjuice Potion?"

"It's me alright." Angelina said grimly. "Fifth year Gryffindor, Quidditch captain-to-be, and at the moment…" she paused while Alicia and Katie waited nervously. "…a very, very vengeful woman."

Alicia and Katie looked at each other. "I think you've just lost us here." Alicia said.

"Well, if you had let me explain myself when I first came in, instead of making wild speculations and getting us into a little disagreement over whether Montague is hotter than Warrington or not, you would understand!" Angelina shot back.

"Just so we're clear, I wasn't trying to defend Warrington!" Alicia said anxiously, looking from Angelina to Katie, apparently not hearing anything else Angelina said.

"So what's going on, Ange?" Katie demanded.

"You'd think, wouldn't you," Angelina said huffily, "that after having hung around me like a leech for close to five years, and may I add flirting not-too-subtly for most of that time, Fred Weasley would be intending to ask me to the Yule Ball?"

"Yes of course." Alicia said; it was obvious that that was the answer Angelina wanted to hear. "Did he ask you, then?"

"No he didn't! That's what got me so riled up!" Angelina cried angrily. "Here I was, thinking he was sure to ask me. For him, I rejected Alexandar Croft, Jack Hooper and Oliver, all of whom are much hotter than him. All because I didn't want to disappoint him when he did ask me. Yet here we are, two weeks away from the Ball, and he didn't say a word to me about it. So I tried to give him a little nudge in the right direction. I thought he was just too shy. Then again, when has Fred Weasley ever been shy?" she demanded of Alicia and Katie. "I was so stupid to think so!"

"No, he certainly has never been shy." Katie assured her.

"Well anyway I asked him playfully, 'Fred, are you going to ask me to the ball or not? Only if we don't discuss this with each other we might end up with mismatched dress robes on the day.' I was so sure he was going to ask me! And you know what he said?" Angelina's eyes were like slits now.

"What?" Alicia and Katie asked at the same time.

"He told me he was going with that blonde bimbo from Hufflepuff! Verity or whatever her name is!" Angelina raged. "Asked her weeks ago! And all that time I was stupidly thinking I was going with him! He didn't even bother to apologize, that stupid oaf, he just looked at me blankly and told me he was going with her!"

"That's so like a man!" Alicia cried indignantly. "They'll only look at a girl who has absolutely nothing in her head but bits of fluff. Take George. I don't know what's gotten into him, but I've seen him staring at Lavendar Brown much more than is necessary. But really, I thought Fred wasn't like that. I mean, he's been following you around like a poodle for five years!"

"Don't be so upset, Ange." Katie said consolingly. "You can still get a date, I bet there're tonnes of guys dying to go with you. In fact, I think Oliver still hasn't found a date yet. You can go take him back."

"No." Angelina said determinedly. "I'm asking no one but Graham Montague to the ball."

Alicia and Katie had forgotten about that in the midst of abusing Fred Weasley. "Angelina Johnson, are you out of your mind?" Alicia asked indignantly. "What on earth has Montague got to do with any of this?"

Angelina looked at her exasperatedly as if she was being obtuse on purpose. "Don't you see?" she asked with the air of someone explaining that one plus one equals two to a stubborn toddler. "That's the best way to get revenge on Fred. You know how much he hates Montague. I've noticed that he hits more Bludgers to Montague than to any other Chaser every match."

"You're supposed to be looking at the Quaffle, not Montague." Alicia said peevishly.

"And you're supposed to be looking at the Quaffle too, not Cassius Warrington!" Angelina shot back.

"I-I never-I've not been looking-" Alicia spluttered in protest.

"Oh, come off it." Angelina said. "I've seen how you stare at him during matches. And you keep tailing him. I know you're staring at his ass."

"I tail him because Oliver told me to mark him!" Alicia protested, finally able to get a coherent sentence out.

"Oliver told you to block him from the front so that he couldn't get the Quaffle." Angelina pointed out. "But I suppose you wouldn't do that, because that way you wouldn't be able to admire his figure!"

"Oh come now, Alicia wouldn't be staring at Warrington." Katie said mildly.

"Thanks Katie!" Alicia said in relief.

"Cos he isn't much to stare at." Katie continued. "If there's anyone worth staring at on the Slytherin quidditch team, it's Miles Bletchley."

Angelina and Alicia looked at Katie as if she'd grown a second head.

"Are...you…insane?" Alicia asked in a hushed voice.

"No I'm not." Katie said indignantly. "Can't you see how fine Bletchley is? He's so huge that he doesn't even need to move very much to block all three rings at once." she sighed dreamily.

"Please don't tell me that's the reason why you missed so many penalty shots last match." Angelina groaned.

"Only if you can tell me why you didn't stop Montague from scoring last match when you were right between him and the rings!" Katie shot back.

The three girls stared at each other for a full ten seconds.

"Ok." said Angelina, breaking into the awkward silence. "I guess we've all just admitted to being seriously attracted to three Slytherin quidditch players."

"No we have not!" Alicia protested.

"Yes we have, who are we kidding?" Angelina sighed, flopping down onto her bed. "Part of me wants to ask Montague to the Ball because I know how absolutely mad Fred would get. Imagine seeing the girl he has had a crush on for five years go to the ball with his most hated enemy, just because he lost his head for a moment over a mindless bimbo!" Angelina jumped up from her bed again, clapping her hands in glee at that glorious thought. Then she sobered up. "And another part of me, well, wants to ask him to the Ball because…" she took a deep breath. "Because he's so damn hot!" she cried, cheeks flaming.

Alicia and Katie simply stared, dumbfounded. "What?" Angelina asked defensively. "I mean, c'mon, he's a mean, bullying prat with no regards for rules at all, and yes, he has tried to knock me off my broom once or twice-"

"Twenty-three times, actually." Katie piped up. Her friends turned to stare at her. "I counted." she explained.

"Well whatever it is, I know he's an absolutely horrible, arrogant jerk." Angelina resumed. "But, girls, I'm a seventeen-year-old female with fully functional hormones. You can't possibly expect me not to notice how fine Montague is! Remember when they won against Hufflepuff last year and tore off their shirts in celebration? Gosh, Montague has got to have the finest chest in all of Hogwarts." she sighed.

"That was a wonderful day." Katie remarked happily. "I could do my washing on Bletchley's abs." She and Angelina turned to look at Alicia.

"What, is it my turn now to make a fangirlish remark on the hotness of Slytherin quidditch players?" Alicia asked nervously. Both girls continued to look at her, expectant looks on their faces. "Oh bother." Alicia muttered. "Fine then. I…um…kind of noticed that…well I mean as you said their shirts were all off and there I was in the stands, so I couldn't help but notice that…Warrington's got a very…very nice…" she took a deep breath. "…very nice back." Her cheeks were flaming red. "I mean, it is very toned, and um, broad and…stop laughing, you two!"

"Sorry." gasped Angelina as she and Katie rolled around on the floor laughing. "It's just that- oh Ali, you looked so red and embarrassed, just like a shy twelve-year-old schoolgirl admitting her first crush!"

"You two forced me to say it!" Alicia said, still red.

"It's alright, Ali." Angelina said, patting her on her back. "I completely understand. They're all arrogant, insulting jerks, every last one of them, and they've tried to maim us on the pitch more times than I can remember, but still, they're oh-so-fine."

"Well, right, that's that then." Alicia said. "Now that we're done utterly embarrassing ourselves by admitting how hot Montague, Warrington and Bletchley get us, of which I'm thoroughly ashamed by the way, can we please go down and get some lunch? I'm starving."

"For Warrington?" Katie asked innocently. "Looks like we'll have to get our lunch from the Slytherin table then. Or should I say dessert?"

Alicia glared daggers at Katie. "This is not getting out of this room. Especially not to George Weasley's ears."

"Oh Alicia!" Angelina cried exasperatedly. "Why do you still care what that idiot thinks of you!"

"Ange, you're getting a little confused here. We all know how much you hate Fred's guts now, but George isn't him, however alike they are." Alicia said. "He hasn't done anything to me…yet."

"Precisely. He hasn't asked you to the Ball either, has he?" Angelina asked drily.

"Well, no." Alicia admitted with a scowl. "But he might, you know…"

"Oh this is pathetic." Angelina snapped. "The truth is that these bloody twins have been leading us on for years. They've flirted continuously with us, but every time we try to turn it into something more serious, they scatter off like scared rabbits, and the next thing we know, they're clinging onto the skirts of some brainless bimbo. Didn't you just say so yourself a while ago that George has been after Lavendar Brown recently? In fact, he just might have asked her to the ball!"

"And their friend isn't any better." Katie piped up angrily. "I've been waiting for ages for Lee to ask me to the ball, or to anywhere for that matter, and he hasn't said a word. I just can't figure him out; does he like me or not? Every time I think he does, he instantly turns off and gives me that we're-just-friends look. God, they say girls are hard to understand but guys are so much harder!"

"So why the hell are we being so pathetic?" Angelina demanded. "It's time to stop waiting around for them. If they can't make up their minds, we'll help them to. I know what their problem is. They do really like us, but at the same time they want to play the field. Well, we've got to let them know that we aren't just going to hang around waiting for them to finish dating every girl in Hogwarts before settling down with us. In other words, let them know we aren't so single and available. And what better way to send this message to them than appearing at the Yule Ball on the arms of three absolutely hot and sexy quidditch players who also happen to be their most hated Slytherin rivals?" Angelina had a mischievous grin on her face now.

Alicia and Katie stared at her for a while. Then it dawned on them. "You-you aren't actually suggesting that-that we ask the Slytherin players to the ball?" Alicia asked weakly.

"That's exactly what I mean." Angelina said cunningly. "I'll ask Montague, you'll ask Warrington, and Katie'll ask Bletchley. Any Slytherin players would do, actually, but since we're going to do it, we might as well ask those we're most attracted to. They're jerks, yes, but it's only for one night and we might as well make the most of it."

There was a pause. Then…

"I'm in." Katie announced. "I'm sick of waiting for Lee."

Alicia looked out of the window, as if hoping for an answer there. Then she slowly turned around to face her friends. She took a deep breath. "I'm in too." she said at last. "I must be insane, but I'd be a horrible friend if I let the two of you do this alone."

"Excellent!" Angelina announced happily. "Well then, girls, we have two weeks to carry out our mission."

"Wow…mission." Katie said. "That makes it sound so exciting."

"Hey, it involves three Slytherins with the sexiest chests, backs and abs in all of Hogwarts." Angelina grinned. "Can it be anything but exciting?"