Suzaku x Lelouch – I Promise

By Ikuto-sama

"NO!"

Suzaku hurled his helmet hard at the wall, narrowly missing his best friend. His deep green eyes flashed in a mix of anger, sadness, and fear. His body shook violently, as if rattled by an earthquake. He felt like a crumbling tower, ready to collapse to the ground at any moment. He couldn't do it. Just couldn't. Not now, not even for humanity. Not to the person he loved the most in the entire world.

"We must complete the Zero Requiem. You must kill me for the sake of the new world. You'll be a hero, Suzaku," Lelouch replied softly, violet eyes gazing up to meet green ones. "I know it's selfish, but it's not only for the world, it's for me. It's the only way I can atone for my sins; all of the people I've killed, all of the hatred I have brought upon myself…it's the best thing to do."

"You selfish bastard!" Suzaku shoved Lelouch into the wall, kicking away his discarded helmet. Their faces were only inches apart. He pressed his body against the dark-haired boy's, pinning him against the wall. He could feel Lelouch's breath on his neck, still calm and collected.

His breath…his body…it's still warm. He's alive, Suzaku thought wistfully. Yet, he seems so lifeless…so calm, even when planning his demise…

"Suzaku…you promised. It's too late to turn back now," Lelouch said. "Ever since this war began, ever since I decided to be Zero, I've had one foot in the grave. Death's had his arms wrapped around me, ready to take me away. Even if I'm gone, you'll still be here, the one who ended this tyrant of an emperor's life, the new hero of the world. I can die without regrets. I'm at that point." A sympathetic smile crept across his thin lips, his eyes closing in content.

"You…you make it sound as if my being here is a good thing. Sure, it's okay for you to just go on and die so you can pay for your sins, but my hands are as bloodstained as anyone else's. Do you know how many people I've killed? People that were killed because of me? I wish I could get someone to go and kill me and become a hero too. And yet—and yet I can't. Because you're so goddamn selfish and wanted me to fucking live—"

Suzaku was furious. He could have easily killed Lelouch right there, only that was the exact thing he was trying to avoid. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn't care about becoming the hero of a new, better world. He didn't even care about what happened to the rest of the people on the planet. All he wanted was to be with Lelouch, but he couldn't be with him, even in death. The man he loved with all of his heart was stabbing him in the back over and over again with his apathetic words.

"I only used my Geass because—because I couldn't let you die. There was no other way. I love you, Suzaku," Lelouch said. He didn't look away from the hurt look on his childhood friend's face. It was all a part of his punishment. All his life, he'd only hurt people. Just like the selfish emperor he was now. He deserved it.

"Why?" Suzaku asked, his voice cracking. "Why…how could you say such a thing? You…you selfish bastard! Don't say that…not now…"

How dare he tell him he loved him when he'd just asked him to kill him? Lelouch hadn't even left him the freedom to die with him. He'd be stuck in the real world for an eternity, alone. No one to comfort him or be there for him; no one to hug or kiss or say 'I love you.' A life without love, without his special someone…what kind of life was that? Suzaku knew he was being a hypocrite—he too was selfish for wanting Lelouch to keep on living when he wanted to die. But Lelouch had taken death away from him, so what was wrong with doing the same?

"Suzaku…I'm sorry. For everything," Lelouch whispered, his gaze sympathetic. "But it must be done…it's meant to be…"

Suzaku wanted to punch Lelouch in the face. Yet, he couldn't help but wrap his arms around the other's frail neck and pull him forward, their lips meeting in a gentle, needy kiss.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch breathed, tangling his fingers in Suzaku's brown curly locks. "I thought you were mad…"

"Maybe I am," Suzaku replied as they both collapsed on a nearby couch. "But it doesn't matter. If you've only got two months to live…those months must be devoted to me."
Lelouch gave a slight nod, his heart fluttering a bit. He knew what Suzaku was implying. As much as he hated not being the one in power, he really had no choice. Even if he tried to fight off his urges, Suzaku had a lot more physical strength than he did. Just as Suzaku began to work on taking off his clothing, Lelouch interrupted him.

"Someone could easily come in and find us, you know," Lelouch smirked. "Can you imagine how that would look like?" A small chuckle escaped from his mouth.

"Fine," Suzaku sighed, grabbing Lelouch's hand and briskly dragging him out of the throne room, down the seemingly endless hallway, and into Lelouch's private quarters.

"You know…if it were me and I had to kill you, I suppose I'd have a hard time doing it too," Lelouch said, smiling.

"Lelouch," Suzaku breathed. He took a few steps towards the bed and shoved Lelouch onto its soft surface, knocking the air out of the other boy. "I know it's the ultimate punishment for me, an eternity without you, but—but I'm not going to do it. You know that."

"Suza—!" Lelouch didn't even have time to reply as his and Suzaku's lips crushed together, his thin body trapped between the mattress and the other stronger male's body. Suzaku's passionate feelings only made him feel guiltier. But if only Suzaku understood that it was just as hard for him to die without Suzaku as it was for Suzaku to take his life.

Lelouch's body went limp in submission, and Suzaku took it as an invitation to keep going further. He carefully undid Lelouch's clothing, letting the silk cloth slide off the bed onto the floor, then his own. Lelouch's world at this point was only him and Suzaku. When he was with Suzaku, war didn't exist. Terrorism didn't exist. Zero didn't exist. Geass didn't exist. Britannia didn't exist. If only things could just be normal…

But then again, Lelouch thought wistfully, Perhaps it was all of these events that brought Suzaku and I together…

"Suzaku…in the time that we—that I have left, it'll just be us, okay?" Lelouch whispered, giving Suzaku the sweetest smile he had ever seen from him in his life.

God, he's beautiful, Suzaku thought, flushing slightly. He lowered himself and kissed along Lelouch's pale, smooth chest, occasionally nipping Lelouch's pert nipples. He smiled as Lelouch closed his eyes and melted into the sheets, letting out a soft, pleasant moan. He continued further, leaving a trail of saliva down Lelouch's stomach, and, moving his head down lower, to the head. He could feel that Lelouch was already hard.

Suzaku worked his mouth up and down the dark haired boy's length, getting bits of pre-cum on his cheeks and teeth, and gently stroked the few parts his mouth couldn't reach. Lelouch let out another series of moans and attempted desperately to buck his hips.

"Aah…Suzaku, I'm…" Lelouch wanted to push more of himself into the brunette's warm, wet cave, but the hands up against his thighs prevented him from. It felt so good, he wanted more, but he couldn't move himself forward. It was almost maddening.

Suzaku moved his hands up and traced along Lelouch's spine until he found his backside, and with a wet finger, traced along the entrance there.

"Lelouch, this is going to hurt for a bit—" he began, but was immediately interrupted.

"But just relax and it'll be fine afterwards. Seriously, Suzaku, we've done this many times before. I'm not a goddamn child; I think I know what's going to happen," Lelouch sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Just making sure," Suzaku replied. But just in case, he inserted his index finger inside the other boy's hole to stretch him out a bit. He carefully moved it in and out, and at one point curved up at the spot he knew Lelouch would immediately react to.

"Haah—aaah!" Lelouch's eyes widened as his back arched off of the bed, his hips pressing into Suzaku's hand. A sly smile crept across Suzaku's lips, and he decided he'd keep running over that sensitive spot again and again, just so he could hear Lelouch's sounds of ecstasy.

"Fuck, Suzaku, get to the real thing already!" Lelouch gasped, flustered, his nails digging into the bed sheets. "I—I'm not sure I can take much more—"

"Well then beg!" Suzaku cooed. "But if you refuse to…" He slowly pulled his fingers out, only to have Lelouch whine in protest and murmur some choice words under his breath.

"Remember, you promised you'd devote yourself only to me, and that means you must say it," Suzaku purred seductively, straddling the other boy. "It's only a few words."

Lelouch vi Britannia never begged, but the waves of desire washing over his body were too much. For Suzaku, he'd make an exception.

"Shit…I suppose if I must…" Lelouch sighed. "I want you to fuck me, Suzaku. Fuck me hard. Please…"

Much to his surprise, Suzaku didn't decide to tease him and gave in. He shoved his cock hard into Lelouch's opening, instantly hitting his prostate, making Lelouch scream in ecstasy.

"Oh god, Suzaku…please…move…" Lelouch groaned. "Or just do…something…anything…"

Suzaku nodded and pulled his hips back; snapping them forward only to have them hit the exact same spot again. Lelouch screamed something unintelligible and arched his back off of the bed in order to meet the thrust. His arms flailed, attempting to grab something as his body was forced upwards every other second trying to meet Suzaku's rhythmic thrusts.

"Suzaku…I—I c—can't take it any longer…" Lelouch moaned. He could feel Suzaku edging closer to climax as well. "Aah…"

Suzaku reached down and grabbed hold of Lelouch's weeping length and pumped it in time with his thrusts.

"I want you to come for me, Lelouch," he purred seductively, bending over to meet the other boy's thin lips.

Lelouch's face turned a deep shade of pink as his hips arched off the bed one last time and he felt himself give in to release, warm white liquid covering both his and his lover's chests.

Suzaku gave one more hard thrust before emptying himself inside the other's warm body. Both males collapsed onto the bed, stilling for only a few moments before Lelouch reached his hand out to touch Suzaku's cheek.

"Suzaku…I promise I'll keep loving you until…until it's time…" he whispered, peering into Suzaku's emerald eyes. "And even when we're apart…I still believe that somehow, we'll meet again. I know this is selfish of me, but please promise me that you won't love anyone else like you loved me…"

"Lelouch…" Suzaku breathed.

"Promise me, Suzaku. Please."

Suzaku stared at Lelouch for a moment. He truly was stunning. The way his hair covered one side of his face, the way his chest moved up and down as they basked in the aftermath, the faint layer of sweat and cum across his perfect skin, the way his amethyst eyes gazed at him in equal parts of sadness, trust, and love…how could he ever fall in love with another?

"I promise."

Closing his eyes, Suzaku embraced Lelouch and brought him into a soft kiss. They both knew the day they'd have to part was looming upon them, and Lelouch would be gone forever…but for some reason, neither boy could shake the feeling that they might meet again. And in any case, Suzaku felt content and hoped that this feeling would last for as long as the memory of the evening they had spent together.

Because memories…they lasted forever.

~SUZAKU X LELOUCH – I PROMISE – END~

© 2010 Ikuto-sama