Title: Intoxication

Rating: T

Summary: Abandoned, again. Left to wallow in her own self pity, to question what she did wrong this time. And then he appears and suddenly her world is turned on its head all over again. When Jesse appears in the Christmas Tree Sale, Rachel finds where she could always control Finn, Jesse is a force of nature. Dangerous, but intoxicating.

Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee.

xxx

It had been a while since they had last talked. It seemed as if their bouts of conversation came in sporadic bursts, which sometimes irritated Jesse thoroughly. But, unwillingly to scare her away, he refrained himself. His friends managed to distract him, taking him to parties where he rebuffed the advantages of scantily clad girls. On the worst days he would drink himself into a stupor at these parties, forcing Johnny to help him stagger home rambling about Lima, Ohio and a certain brunette starlet.

It was a shock when she called him.

He was walking down the crowded Californian street and was forced to take shelter in the opening of a nearby side street to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jesse St James!" The words were slurred and rolling and he frowned, listening harder and picking up the laughter and shouts of people behind her.

"Rachel?" He started down the street again, pausing to open the door to his building as she riled on him.

"Jesse! You know that you were a jerk right?" Her words were still slurred and he was able to pick up the chattering of voices behind her.

"Where are you?" He asked, his heart starting to thump as he let himself into his room.

"At my house of course!" She cried and her voice slid, slipping through the words.

"Who with?"

"The Glee club!" She laughed hard and there was a chorus of cries behind her.

"Rachel, who are you talking to?" His teeth clenched as he heard Finn Hudson's deep, but strangely steady voice behind her.

"Jesse of course!" She shouted, laughing even harder.

"Who?" Puckerman's voice was unmistakeable.

"St Jerk." Jesse rolled his eyes at Hudson's unoriginal nickname. "Give me the phone Rachel, you shouldn't be talking to him."

His hands clenched around the phone and he heard the recognisable sounds of a scuffle on the other side of the phone as Rachel cried. "No!"

"Rachel?" He asked, alarmed.

"St James?" Puckerman's voice came through the phone.

"Thanks so much for looking after her Puckerman." He said, deadpan, an undercurrent of anger running through his tone.

"You're telling me you've never been to a party St James?"

"Well… I…" Jesse stumbled over his words, momentarily surprised. The blurred half images of his most recent drunken nights came to mind.

"Yeah I thought so." Puckerman's voice was smug.

"Where are you?" Jesse asked.

"At her house.

"Why?" He was completely perplexed. "Rachel doesn't drink."

"She does now." Puck sounded amused. Extremely

"Puckerman…" The danger in his voice must have warned Puck that Jesse was deadly serious.

"Okay, no need to get your curling iron in a twist… We persuaded Rache to have a party… To loosen her up."

"What?" He asked, incredulously. "You what?"

"St James, chill the hell out okay?"

"Get everyone out," The barely suppressed rage made his voice quiver. "Make sure she's okay."

"She's fine!"

"Puckerman."

"Fine, fine! On your own head be it…" His rose his voice, shouting over the din. "Okay guys, let's take this back to my place!"

A general cry of agreement went up and Jesse heard Puck talking to Rachel and strained, trying to hear what was being said.

"Rache, you stay here okay?"

"What? But I don't want to Noah! Why are you being such a spoil sport?"

"Trust me Rache, you still need to be able to write songs right? Just go up to bed."

"What? But why?" She whined.

"This is your first party, let's take it steady."

Grumbling started in the background and Jesse jumped when Puckerman's coarse voice came through the phone, rough already.

"Happy now?"

"Sincerely," Jesse replied, smirking. "It sounds like you've had quite a lot already Puckerman, are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Puck scoffed, "please, I can take way more than this. Check you later St James."

Once again Jesse was met with the dialling tone and he sighed, throwing the phone onto his bed. Without another thought he reached over, grabbed a duffel bag and started throwing clothing into it. He wasn't sure whether it was a need to be sure that she was okay that fuelled him to do it, or whether it was just a need to see her, period. Whatever it was, he was giving in and booking the first flight to Ohio.

Xxx

When Jesse arrived at Rachel's house, there were lights on. Slowly he approached, clambering from his car and starting through the door, which was unlocked.

Following the sound of the music, he went down to the Oscar Room.

It was, in short, a complete and utter mess. It looked like some kind of bomb had hit it, scattering debris to the wind. Empty bottles lay around the room, one leaking some kind of questionable, dark substance onto the cream carpet and cans, crushed to small, rounded shapes were covering every available surface.

"Jesse?"

Turning, his breath caught in his throat when he spotted Rachel, slumped on the small stage at the end of the room, two empty bottles surrounding her and one clutched tightly in her left hand, whilst her other waved haphazardly, the pink sparkly microphone dangling from it.

Her hair was dishevelled, curled, so it seemed shorter and she was wearing a slightly odd mint grown gown, with a strange, off white stain on one of the lacy shoulders. Her eyes, bright and too aware, met his and she beamed, her smile wide.

"Jesse!" She repeated, with more vigour and staggered to her feet.

He jumped forward, catching her before she fell and holding her for a moment to long in his arms, savouring the warmth of her body against his, before her loud giggle broke through his hazy mind. Settling her on her feet he kept one hand outstretched, jump brushing her elbow, telling himself that it was to catch her in case she fell again, but knowing that really it was his craving of contact with her that made him so careful.

"You're here!" She cried and he snapped his gaze back up to her, smiling a little.

"Yeah," He agreed. "But the party's kind of over Rache."

"What?" She groaned loudly and turned, spinning around and stumbling again, forcing Jesse to snake a hand around her waist to steady her. Worrying that the gesture was too intimate for her to be comfortable, he drew it away again, being halted in the process when she grabbed it, swinging and laughing wildly.

"No it's not!" She protested.

"Yeah, it is Rache, come on, let's get you to bed."

"No," It had become more whiny now and she folded her hands across her chest, pouting so adorably that he thought a little part of him might have melted a little.

"Yes," He countered gently, taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs, ignoring her slight resistance.

They made it up the first flight of stairs okay, Rachel falling once and having to sit down for a moment until she gained control of her laughter before starting again. They were only a few steps away from the second flight however when Rachel stumbled again, falling straight into Jesse's arms.

Laughing softly, he allowed himself to hug her once, and very quickly, a small smile gracing his features as she reached out and hugged him back, sparks shooting up his back at her touch. She ran a hand up, against his spine and her fingers playing gently with the small strands of hair at the nape of his neck. And then, suddenly, without him knowing how, her lips were on his.

The soft cherry flavour covered his and he kissed her back fiercely, letting his desire reign for a moment, his lips hard and conquering against hers, his grip tight and strong and then sighed softly, and went to push her away. But then a sweet, deliciously innocent moan escaped her and he could feel himself being pulled in, unable to stop himself from kissing her again.

It had been so long since their first kiss back at the tree sale. Too long. Tingles ran right through him and he shivered as her wandering hand went up to run through his hair.

Pulling her closer, he kissed her with ridiculous force, ridiculous passion, knowing that at any moment the spell could end, she could decide that she didn't really want him and push him away. He was too far in to back out and anyway he would never… could never stop now. His tongue slipped out, begging for entry by running over her sweet, plump bottom lip and she immediately allowed it, letting their tongues tango within their small dance floor. He stumbled, pulling her closer and leading them towards a wall, pushing her back and into the wall with surprising strength and he leant down, capturing her lips once more, reclaiming them after the millisecond they were apart. His hands slammed, palm down, either side of her face and her hands wandered further down, until they reached the waistband of his jeans.

That broke the spell.

Breaking away he gasped for breath, leaning away from her to try and dispel the dizziness he felt with her near. He couldn't do this, not now. She was drunk for goodness sake! It would be wrong, he would be taking advantage of her.

Her laugh, long and drawn out into a languorous chuckle, let heavy, hot, musty breath quiver out onto his cheek and he let out a shaky sigh, trying to disperse his desire.

Her finger appeared, tapping his nose gently as she spoke, her voice dopey and slow. "You, Jesse St James, are a very good kisser."

He laughed with her then, nodding. "I know," He murmured.

xxx

Her head thumped.

Her throat was on fire.

Her whole body felt stiff and wooden.

Slowly, she attempted to open her eyes, cringing away and groaning as pain flashed through her head. Squeezing her eyes shut, she cast back to the evening before, trying to remember what had happened the night before. They had been in her Oscar Room, she was sure of that. She had tried to enforce some kind of rules, but she seemed to remember Artie saying something about dinner reservations and Puck convincing her to get more alcohol out… she would think more on that later. She had talked to Finn and said something to him and he had explained something about drunken girls.

Then… had she suggested they play a game? Which game? Hide and seek? Scrabble? Wait… no… spin the bottle. And she had…

She had kissed Blaine.

Now that she remembered pretty well. He had been amazing, the feel of his lips against hers, brushing against her, his sweet smelling cologne, the harshness of his lips, so dominating, so ruthless with desire, the sound of his hands slamming down either side of her head as he forced her against that wall…

Wait. That wasn't Blaine.

That was…

Oh my God.

She shot up, regretting it immediately when pain flashed through her head. She groaned out loud, casting a glance around the, seemingly empty room as she did so.

"Hey sleeping beauty." She looked towards the door and her mouth fell open when she saw him walk through, holding a tray.

"Uh… hi… I mean… hey."

He grinned at her and left the tray on the desk, bringing her water and a familiar white pill. "Swallow," He instructed gently, pressing the objects into her hands.

"Thank you," She replied, doing as he said.

"So," He leant back against the bed frame. "They think this is the first time you've been drunk?"

"Yeah," She glanced at his uneasily, swallowing quickly. "They don't know about…. Last time."

"Fair enough. How are you feeling?"

"Erm, a little confused," She glanced at him uncertainly. "When did you get here?"

"Last night, it was quite late and you were pretty out of it."

"How did you know…" Realisation came as she spoke and she cringed, burying her head in her hands as she remembered the drunk dialling. "Oh no," She moaned.

"Oh yes," He laughed a little, resting a comforting hand on her knee even as he teased. "Welcome to your first case of drunk dialling."

"Never again," She grumbled.

"That's what they all say." He laughed again, getting up and starting towards the door. "You should hydrate okay? I've just boiled the kettle, you need to drink hot drinks to help your throat and voice. Tea or coffee?"

Xxx

A few hours later she is curled up on her sofa, wrapped in her coverlet, her feet tucked beneath her as she leaned into him, watching as Judy Garland sang merrily before her. Sensing his eyes on her, she looked up, smiling a little as she asked.

"What?"

"Nothing," She smiled back, glancing away and she considered for a moment before deciding to not push it and say, instead.

"Exactly how bad is the mesh downstairs."

He glanced at her, raising his eyebrows. "What do you think?"

She groaned, burying her head in the coverlet and he laughed slightly, his arm around her tightening.

"It's okay," He comforted. "We'll get it sorted, no worries."

She sighed, but didn't disagree, tucking herself into him again as she asked. "How's the show going?"

"Fine," He nodded, smiling a little.

"When's opening night?"

"A few weeks yet, the first Saturday of next month." He was silent for a second, before saying, a little hesitantly. "You should come down."

"I will." She smiled. "If I can."

He nodded and they fell into comfortable silence again, before she asked.

"How's life at college treating you?"

He smiled and replied. "Not too bad. I'm enjoying the sun."

"And the classes?" She prompted.

"And the classes." Jesse agreed, laughing. "So, what do you remember about last night?"

"We played spin the bottle." She replied, looking at the screen and frowning curiously when she saw his head snap down to look at her.

"Oh really?" He asked, too innocently.

"Yeah," She continued, oblivious to his discomfort. "And I kissed Blaine."

He shifted in his seat, trying to not let his irritation show on his face. "Oh?" Was all he could manage.

"Yeah, he's so sweet. So nice. And it felt so good you know, he was so gentle and he tasted so good." She glanced at him, innocent and blushing a little. "I think… and don't laugh okay? But I think there's a spark between us."

"A spark?" He repeated, his voice breaking over the last word.

"Yeah," She nodded. "And I think I'm going to ask him out."

Jesse, who had just taken a gulp of water, coughed and spluttered forcing her to lean around and thump him on the back, asking anxiously. "Are you okay Jesse?"

"Sure, sure." He coughed a little. "God, don't launch that on a guy like that Rache." He added, only half joking.

"Sorry," She grinned. "Do you think it's a good idea?"

"What?"

"Me and Blaine," She confirmed, impatiently. "Do you think it's a good idea?"

"Do you like him?" He asked finally and she nodded vigorously.

"Will he hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"Then…" He squeezed his eyes shut for a second. "Go and get him."

"Thank you!" She launched herself onto him and hugged him tightly.

His head rested on her shoulder for a moment and he allowed himself just a second to hug her back, to remember the feeling of her embrace, her sweet, intoxicating scent. The pain he felt at the thought of her with another man almost brought tears to his eyes, but the thought of her unhappy pushed that away. She should be happy. She deserved that.

"Do you… do you not remember last night then?" He asked, hesitantly.

Her eyes flicked away. "Not really…. did anything happen?"

He studied her expression for a moment, taking in her slight flush, her eyes looking up at him through impossibly long lashes and sighed, shaking his head. When he spoke, his tone was strangely resigned. "No, nothing. Nothing happened."

Xxx

He left that evening. Standing at the door, watching him go, was ridiculously painful. She steeled herself, hugging him tightly, and the smell of his aftershave, so familiar, brought back all too vivid memories of the night before, crushing lips on hers and hands clutching her tightly. Shoving those thoughts away she pasted a bright smile on her face, waving him away and promising to come to open night, making him swear on his Sondheim collection to text her when he got back.

Watching him walk away was hard, not that she would ever admit it to anyone, not even herself. Leaning against the doorway, she watched him, still smiling widely and waving him away, trying to ignore her inner melancholia. Once his car had disappeared she allowed herself only a few moments to lean back against the door, her breathing becoming heavier as she allowed the sadness to wash over her.

She didn't try to stop the images from last night washing through her mind. His touch, so exciting, electrifying and yet like that of a gentle lover, seemed to be etched into her skin. Her lips still tingled from the taste of his and she smiled as she recalled the perfect way they fit together, not acknowledging the slight smugness she felt. It had been a long time since he had kissed her like that, so fiery and passionate and filled with desire.

For a moment she felt the longing twist her stomach almost painfully as she thought desperately of what could have been, a want acute to the point of pain filling her as she walked slowly back to the living room, her hands still wrapped around herself, as if to keep her together.

The memory of their short time together surfaced and she sighed. The feel of his arms around her, warm, loving, protective. The way he always knew what she wanted, when she wanted it. There was no prompting, no awkward silences. Their relationship had been volatile, full of devastating lows, but unforgettable highs too. The excitement, the romance. It was something she thought she would probably never forget.

Bending down she selected the DVD named, in curled script: The Way We Were and slid it into the player.

Sitting back on the sofa she wrapped herself in the coverlet again, inhaling deeply and letting a small smile grace her face as she spotted the familiar, rich scent of his aftershave.

Settling back with the coverlet around her, she started the movie.

One day.

She would grieve for what could have been for one day.

And then look to the future.

Xxx

Hey guys! Argh, sorry once again for the long wait. Real life keeps kicking in and killing all my time. To make up for it I shoved something in here that I think y'all might be quite happy about. Thank DunderMifflinite because she totally spurred me on to add that in there. I do love writing St Berry kisses, they make my day. The chemistry between them is wonderful.

I'm guessing everyone's seen the promo… isn't it amazing? I love that he is back SO MUCH and I've seen a serious rise in fanfics since that promo. Remember guys, we are the ones who stuck it through! So, major Jesse loving going on, oh and the bit with Quinn and Rachel in the bathroom- Oh my God! I cannot wait for this new episode, it should be amazing.

Anyway, I have to pop off now- sad times :(

I hope y'all enjoyed and send me a review. I'm pushing around ideas for a prom one shot and that might be up by this weekend if you guys wanna read it (shameless plug there)

Okay, so eight or nine reviews? Thanks guys.

Love you lots!

Ray

xxx