Summary: The loss of someone very close to Mark and Lexie tries their relationship in ways they could have never foreseen; the evolution of their relationship is told through a series of intermittent flashbacks.

Background information: Mark and Lexie have been dating for about six months when this story starts. They've kept it hidden all this time, but they both decided to tell Meredith and Derek today, to get it out of the way for bigger news.

Note: Thought I did spend a while researching this topic, not all of what's in here is what would have in an actual medical situation. If you're familiar with this topic, please just push aside some of my generalizations or inaccurate information/presentation. Thanks.

Monday, April 11th

3 PM.

"Hey," Lexie says, walking into exam room three.

"Hello," Meredith greets her distractedly. She'd just discharged her patient and the room was empty until the next one came in, so Meredith used it as a makeshift office for the time being. She's scribbling busily into her patient's charts, not noticing the way Lexie hesitates in the doorway, the way her eyes sweep the room to make sure they're alone.

"I wanted to tell you something," Lexie begins cautiously, closing the door gently behind her.

"Hm? And what's that?" Meredith asks, her attention still focused on the charts in front of her.

"Mer, it's kind of important, so I'd, um, like your full attention." Mer looks up, expectant.

"Okay," she says, capping the pen and closing the chart before turning to face her sister. "What's up?"

"I just…" Lexie begins slowly, but her word count quickly picks up speed. "I just wanted you to know right away that I did not try to keep this from you. It just—It just sort of happened. We didn't really mean to—to hide anything from you, and I wouldn't want you to think that—OUCH," Lexie cries out as her hand flies to her abdomen, feeling a sharp pain radiating from her midsection.

"You okay?" Meredith asks worriedly, stepping around the bed towards Lexie.

"Yeah, I'm, I'm—ow, oh god, ow."

"Lexie—" Meredith begins before her voice catches in her throat. She glances down, seeing blood beginning to trail down Lexie's thighs. Lexie follows her gaze, looking down speechlessly as she winces in pain.

"Come here," Meredith orders, taking control of the situation and leading Lexie into the exam room's bathroom. "I'll call up and get someone from OB/GYN to give you a D&C." She helps Lexie sit gingerly on the toilet seat. "I'll get you through this, Lexie," Meredith reassures her. She knew how hard it was for Christina—though she barely showed it—to lose the baby she was going to abort…Meredith could barely think what Lexie was going through right now. All she knew was that Lexie needed help, and she sure as hell wasn't as strong as Christina in this department. Lexie just nods weakly at Meredith's assurance, still focused on getting her point across before her brain catches up with what has just happened.

"Mer, I really think you need to hear what I was going to tell you—"

"Lexie, it's not important right now," Meredith replies. "We need to get you fixed up first. Don't worry, all right? I'll call right now," Meredith tells her, stepping outside to reach the phone at the nurses' station down the hall.

…

"Hey," Mark calls jovially, walking up to his best friend in the cafeteria. Derek looks up at him, confused.

"Hello…"

"Whatcha doing?"

"I'm eating," Derek states, looking pointedly down at his lunch. Mark nods, not detecting the faux-seriousness in Derek's tone.

"Mind if I join you?" Mark asks, pulling out a chair before Derek can respond.

"Sure," Derek replies around a bite of salad. "Anything you wanted to talk about?" Derek hints, surveying his friend. Mark's eyes widen at Derek's question, his voice shocked.

"What?" Mark asks worriedly, his eyes darting to his friend. Does he know? Is he just waiting to nail me on it? How would he possibly—

"What?" Derek asks back, slower this time, suspicious. Mark isn't one to get nervous or embarrassed, Derek notes with a furrow of his eyebrows.

"Nothing, I…" Mark straightens in his chair Just get it over with already, he thinks. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay."

"It's, um, kind of…" Mark pauses, searching for the right word. Great? Fantastic? Life-changing? "…Shocking," he finishes.

"Okay," Derek repeats, sitting back to study his friend. Mark has never acted this nervous around him. Derek narrows his eyes. Mark never acted this nervous around anyone. "What is this shocking thing you wanted to tell me?"

"Well," Mark begins, only to have the shrill chirp of his cell interrupt him. He sighs, glancing down, and reads the name off the screen. Lexie. He smiles involuntarily, putting up a finger to his friend and bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey," he says into his cell.

…

Lex watches Meredith walk out to the nurses' station before grabbing her cell and calling Mark. He answers on the first ring.

"Mark, I need you," she says in a strained voice, trying to keep the pain out of her tone.

"Who is this?" Mark asks, amusement filling his voice—it's so much easier to laugh something off than to be terrified of admitting your relationship to your highly judgmental best friend. Derek glances at him, confused. Mark just shakes his head, smiling, getting up and walking a few feet away to speak privately, out of Derek's earshot.

"Mark, it's Lexie. I'm serious—" She grips the sink in pain, her voice breaking.

"Lexie Grey?" Mark asks, feigning surprise. "This is highly inappropriate," he jokes. "You shouldn't be—"

"Mark," Lexie interrupts, trying not to panic. "I'm in exam room three, on the surgical floor. I really need you down here. I—I can't do this alone," she whispers.

"Lexie?" Mark feels his heart race with worry. "What happened?" He asks quickly, already heading towards the elevators and jumping on one about to descend, leaving behind a bewildered Derek. "Are you hurt? Lex, tell me, please," he pleads, getting off on the surgical floor and heading towards the exam rooms.

"I, Mark, I think…" She takes a deep breath, trying not to cry. She jumps in her seat as the slam of the door hitting the wall interrupts her mid-sentence.

"Lexie," he calls, walking quickly around the bed.

"I'm in here," she says. He can barely hear her voice through the thick wooden bathroom door. She hangs up the phone as he opens the door quickly, moving fluidly towards her. His worried face soon turns shocked and sorrowful as he takes in her bloodstained appearance.

"Lexie," he murmurs, crouching beside her by the sink. "What…What happened?"

She looks to him, the tears she's been holding back finally spilling down her face. Her breathing starts coming in ragged gasps as her mind finally catches up to everything that's happened.

"I…I lost him, Mark," she chokes out, tears falling down her face. "I lost the baby. l—I lost our baby." Without hesitation, Mark pulls her into a tight hug, murmuring comforting words as her sobs intensify.

Even though she's never felt the baby kick or noted any other movement from him, Lexie still feels an all-encompassing sorrow consume her when it finally hits her. She felt it begin the moment Mark walked in. His stricken, panicked face…She was sure that's exactly how she had looked when he'd walked in. The way his eyes had scanned over her body, resting momentarily on her bloodstained midsection before turning their sorrowful eyes to her face. It was just too much. She'd only been pregnant for a few months, but it had seemed much longer. It has seemed so important.

Maybe it seemed so life changing because it wasn't just the baby that Lexie was mourning, it was what the baby symbolized for her and Mark: a future together. She'd thought, probably naively, that with this baby everything would be okay. Sure, there'd be hard times, there's be bad times…But they'd get through it, right? Mark loved her, and she loved him back. And they were both so excited for this baby.

But now that it was gone…Well, that was the question, wasn't it?

What now?

"Lexie, it'll be okay, I promise," Mark murmurs to her, holding her tightly.

"Mark, I…I'm so sorry…I didn't know anything was wrong…I just…I didn't know what to say to Meredith, and then…"

"Lex, shh," he consoles her, even though there are tears threatening to fall down his cheeks as well. "This isn't your fault," he tells her firmly. "Please, don't blame yourself for this." His eyes are pleading. "This isn't your fault."

"I…" She closes her eyes, tears escaping. "I know how badly you wanted a baby, Mark. I'm so sorry I took that away from you."

"Hey, hey, hey," he murmurs, pulling back so he can look her in the eye. "You didn't take anything away from me, okay? You gave me everything I could have ever hoped to want, and many things I didn't even know I wanted." His hand cups her cheek lightly, tilting her head so he can look into her eyes. "I love you, Lexie. This doesn't change that." He raises his other hand to stroke her hair lightly. "This couldn't change that."

She smiles hesitantly. He leans down, kissing her fully on the mouth to prove his point. "I love you. You can't change that, Little Grey."

"No matter how hard I try?" She whispers against his lips.

"No matter how hard you try," he replies, kissing her once more.

…

"Lexie, I…" Meredith starts, her voice dying in her throat when she takes in the sight of Mark Sloan hugging her little sister. And she's hugging him back. They both look up at the sound of her voice, and Meredith quickly masks her shock and disapproval.

"I called up to OB," she continues as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Mark and Lexie are still holding each other. Meredith tries not to dwell on how surreal this is, or notice the fact that they both look like they've been crying. "They've got an opening in a few hours." She pauses. "Do you want me to put you in as a Jane Doe?"

Mark's eyes flit to Lexie's. She glances to him, unsure. "I…I don't know…"

"Well, for now, I'll just keep it anonymous. If you want to change the file's status later, you can." Lexie nods, and there's a pause before Meredith speaks again. "Mark, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Mark," Lexie murmurs, looking worriedly to her boyfriend, hoping Meredith won't take this opportunity to unleash on him. Mark, though, nods in the woman's direction before turning back to his girlfriend.

"I'll be right back, okay?" He whispers to her, leaning his forehead against hers. She opens her mouth to say something, but he cuts her off. "It's fine," he tells her. Mark knows she doesn't need to worry anymore than she already is, and if Meredith is going to take this opportunity to be a bitch, Lexie shouldn't care what she thinks anyway. "I love you," he whispers, too quiet for Lexie's sister to hear. He kisses her once before getting to his feet and following Meredith out into the main exam room.

When he steps out of the bathroom, Meredith is standing on the opposite side of the gurney, an unreadable expression on her face. At first, she was going to ask him what the fuck he was doing with her little sister…But now…Now that she'd seen what had happened—how this loss of life meant something to Mark as well…She'd changed her mind. His watery eyes didn't do much to hold her resolve, anyway. Mark is about to open his mouth to warn her not to say anything, not now, but she speaks first.

"I called OB," Meredith tells him, her voice matter-of-fact, "and got her an appointment with Dr. Lighton. It's in a couple hours, I had to call in a favor so she'd see Lexie today."

Mark nods.

"I grabbed some clean scrubs from the locker room—they're as close to her size as I could find," Meredith tells him, passing the garments to him. "Do you want me to…?" She trails off, gesturing to the clothes.

"I've got it, thank you," Mark says quietly, taking the small pile of clothes from her. "Fourth floor, right?" He asks, referring to the obstetrics and gynecology floor.

"Fourth floor," she replies as her pager goes off. "Derek," she sighs, brushing her hair out of her face.

"It's okay," Mark says, knowing she's already done enough. Meredith just nods, glancing towards Lexie in the bathroom.

"Look, Mark, I...I don't know what's going on here," she sighs again, and Mark looks down, feeling guilty and ashamed for not telling either of them sooner. "But I'm glad you're here for her."

Mark looks up in surprise as she continues.

"I know what I said before. And I meant what I said…I just…I hope you know what you're doing here."

"Meredith—"

"I know this wasn't supposed to happen," Meredith interrupts him as if he hadn't spoken. Her eyes meet his. "And I'm very sorry that it did." She sighs, glancing back to the bathroom. "Just…Just promise me you still be there for her after this, okay? She…She doesn't know what it's like, but…"

"But I do," Mark finishes for her. "I know as well as you do, Meredith, what it's like. I'm not going to leave her. I need you to believe that."

Meredith pauses, closing her eyes and going against her better judgment before meeting his again. "I do," she tells him quietly. "After this, I do."

They look at each other for a moment, each unsure of what to say. The silence is broken, though, as her pager goes off again.

"I need to go—We've got a patient going into surgery and—"

"I get it."

Meredith nods, heading for the door, but a hand catches her arm.

"I'd rather we...kept this between ourselves. Derek might not…see what you see. And I was—I was going to tell him today. But now…" He trails off, rubbing his face.

"Okay," Meredith tells him. They stand there for a few moments, looking at each other, before Meredith grabs her cell.

"Hi, this is Dr. Meredith Grey," she says into her phone as Mark watches with curiosity. "Could you please tell Dr. Shepherd that I won't be assisting him?" She pauses while the scrub nurse asks for more information. "I am sure, and there are plenty of other residents he could have assist him. Just tell him there was an unexpected crisis that I need to deal with right now. Thank you."

She hangs up, turning to face Mark. "I'm not leaving her either."

Mark nods, internally grateful that he wouldn't have to help her through this on his own. He didn't know how to help her through this on his own.

"I'm going to tell the nurses to wait a few minutes before sending in any new patients," Meredith states. "You can help her change?"

"Sure, thanks," Mark says, heading to the small bathroom. "Hey," he calls, opening the door slowly. "Meredith brought you some clothes."

…

"Hey," Mark calls, opening the apartment door. Lexie immediately tenses, her knuckles turning white around the pages of the magazine she's been using as a prop for the last fifteen minutes, waiting anxiously for him to get back. "I'm home," he announces. She can hear him drop the keys on the table by the door. "Lex? You here?"

"Y—Yeah," she replies, her voice faltering. "I'm by the TV."

He walks out of the small foyer, heading towards her voice, as she sits in silent fear.

"Hey." He smiles when he sees her, moving to sit beside her on the couch. "What're you reading?"

"No—nothing. I'm just…" She bites her lip, turning to face him, her eyes worried. "There's something I need to talk to you about, Mark."

"Okay, shoot." The smile's still there.

"I, um…I…" She pauses, taking a deep breath. Looking into his eyes, she knows she'll never be able to get the words out. She's too scared of rejection. So I won't do the talking, Lexie thinks, getting up and walking away from the couch without an explanation.

"Lex?" He asks, confused, watching as she leaves without another word and walks toward their bedroom. He rises to him feet to follow her, his brow furrowed. "What is it?"

He stops suddenly when he enters their room, since Lexie's standing directly in the doorway.

"Lexie, what aren't you telling me?" He asks, his voice full of concern. "You can say…" His voice falls flat as she extends her hand towards him, a thin, long, and white item resting on her palm. His eyes fly to hers, a question in them, but neither speaks. He reaches his hand out to take the item, surprised when he sees that his hand is shaking. Lexie notices too, and her eyes rest worriedly on him.

Though Mark already knows what it will say, he gently turns the test over, glancing down as he does so. He studies the two pink lines for a moment before setting it gently on the dresser nearby. Lexie watches his every movement, apprehensive. When his eyes meet hers finally, they're same impenetrable, icy-blue as always. She licks her lips lightly, her mouth suddenly dry, tensing for whatever's coming.

Within seconds, his eyes grow very tender, roaming over her face. Soon, he closes the distance between them swiftly, taking her face between his hands gingerly, gazing right into her eyes. "I love you, Lexie Grey," he tells her with conviction.

She beams, laughing in relief, as he kisses her deeply on the mouth. Her hands come up to wrap around his neck as he steps closer. They break apart a moment later, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it.

"Lexie, I…You have no idea what this means to me," he murmurs into her hair, feeling his eyes prick with emotion. She smiles, kissing his neck.

"I know," she murmurs, blinking through her happy tears. "I love you too, Mark."

…

I love you too, Mark.

The words reverberate within Lexie's memory, as if they were a curse or a jinx. She always knew, in the back of her head, that things could never be this good. Just as life would become ideal, a wrench would be thrown into the gears, shattering everything to pieces. This isn't me being pessimistic, Lexie thinks adamantly, trying not to focus on the pile of bloodstained clothes in the corner of the bathroom. This is just the truth.

Just after she got accepted into Harvard, not only one of the most prestigious schools in the nation, but also her first pick, her father had started drinking again. And then, when she was about to start her internship, her mother had died. And today…

When she'd woken up this morning, everything was perfect. She had a boyfriend she loved who loved her back. She was pregnant with his baby, and he was staying with her because of that love. Even though a baby wasn't part of the original plan, he was still there for her—and not out of obligation, not out of being a nice guy (Mark would cringe at that label), but because he wanted to be there. The pregnancy itself couldn't have begun smoother. Nothing odd had happened, no weird pains, no sudden dizziness or any other mysterious symptoms. And they were planning on telling their friends today.

Boy, had she been nervous.

…

Lexie woke up about twenty minutes too early, but she was content to lie in bed with Mark until he woke up at six. Technically, she didn't have to go into the hospital until after seven, but she was too anxious to go back to sleep. So she laid there, watching his naked chest rise and fall in an easy rhythm.

After a few minutes, her eyes shift to look out the window, watching the sun grow higher in the sky, her thoughts drifting.

"You really that worried?" Mark asks. Lexie starts, not having known he was awake. He grins as he catches her eye.

"How long have you been awake?" She asks, leaning over to kiss him good morning.

"Just a few minutes. You looked preoccupied," he notes, seeming to read her thoughts with his gaze. Lexie runs a hand through her mussed hair.

"It's nothing. I just…Yes, I'm worried. I don't know how Meredith will take it. And not just us, but…" She glances down to her stomach, shaking her head. "She's going to say I'm crazy."

Mark shifts up in bed, placing his head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around her body. "You'll be fine, Lex. And we…" He kisses her ear lightly. "We don't need to tell anyone about the baby until you're ready."

Lexie laughs at this. "Ah, yes, because that's the great thing about being pregnant—no one can tell just by looking at you." Mark grins at her, hugging her body tighter to his.

"You know what I mean, Lexie."

"I know," she mutters, turning her head to kiss him. "And I get it…But I don't want to wait too long. It'll really start to show in a month or two, maybe even just a few weeks, and I don't want her to put the pieces together before she hears it from me."

"She won't," Mark reassures her. "Meredith has plenty of more important things to do than make sure you're maintaining the correct body weight."

Lexie rolls her eyes. "There are other ways to tell, Mark."

"Yeah, I know," he replies, smirking, his hands skimming along her sides. "Your boobs get bigger."

"You're an idiot," Lexie laughs, leaning back to kiss the curve of his neck. They lie together comfortably for a few minutes, wrapped together, before Lexie speaks again.

"I wish we could just stay here all day," she murmurs, eyes closed, her head tipped back against his shoulder.

"I know," Mark replies, resting his chin on the crown of her head lightly. "I don't wanna go in either."

Lexie sighs contentedly; snuggling against him for a few quiet minutes more before the loud shrill of an alarm interrupts the silence. Mark groans, kissing her quickly before rolling over, getting up, and walking over to the dresser. Lexie spreads out on the bed, stretching her arms and legs, yawning. Mark glances over his shoulder at her, smirking.

"You know, you can sleep for another hour. It's only five-forty; you don't have to be in till seven, right?"

"I don't mind," she replies, getting up as well, giving him a small smile. "I'd rather go in with you anyhow."

…

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