The Hardest Part

And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part.

You really broke my heart.

-Coldplay

The hardest part was not the tears on my cheeks while the boy I loved walked away after calling me a fag. I could even take him telling me that he saw how I looked at him, and I could bear him ruining the outlandishly decorated room I spent all day working on, daydreaming about how much he would appreciate it. The hardest part was not trying to stand up for him, to no avail, when my dad was yelling at him. It actually made me feel good to know that my father had finally accepted who I was. I had seen him struggle with it, and I had tried to change. But now he had accepted me...

Acceptance.

That's when you take something in. That's when you realize that something is true.

"Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?"

He stood there, flailing his arms, in the midst of what I thought was a masterpiece. And he stood there, with his beautiful eyes, his masculine, cobalt blue sweater...and me, in my bowtie and vest that I had donned especially for him.

And I looked at him, as I heard truth..not mellifluous broadway tunes of escapism, not my high-pitched feminine enthusiasm...but gut wrenching, tear jerking truth roll from my tongue, off of my lips, and into Finn's ears.

"I have accepted that." I said.

Acceptance.

I think that was the hardest part.