Hello, all. So...it's been practically seven months since my last update. Long time, no see, huh? I'm very, very sorry for the long wait. All I can really say is that life got in the way, along with some crippling Writer's Block. But, I am not going to give up on this story, so don't worry about that. Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed or liked or alerted. Whether you were here seven months ago or discovered this story since then, thanks for reading. It means the world to me.
A couple of technical notes before we get into the chapter. The underlined italics return for Sirius, as, once again, writing two in italics is too confusing. Secondly, the brackets in one of Sirius's letters represent slashes, because FF is stupid and does not have slashes. This story also has not been thoroughly edited/betaed in an attempt to get it to you all as quickly as possible, so sorry for spelling or any other mistakes.
After a very long wait, I hope you all enjoy Chapter 12!
3/29
Mia,
No. I'm done. Say what you want. Release whatever information you have. I honestly don't care, anymore. You are deranged. You have attempted murder. You need help, but not from me. Clearly you messed up a spell somewhere between third year and now, because you have some kind of mental problem. You treat everyone around you like shit, yet you still expect them to do you favors when you want them.
I'm sick of you. I've been sick of you since January, yet you keep hanging around. Why is that? Do you just think I'm that much of a pushover? Or are you secretly a little bit fond of me? I know that's laughable. Fondness is an alien concept to you. The only person you've ever been fond of is yourself.
Either way, I don't know why you did what you did. I can't explain it, and I'm not going to try to. That's up to you. I hope you enjoy life in Azkaban, Mia. Perhaps you'll finally realize that people aren't toys and you cannot do what you please with them.
-Remus Lupin
3/29
Remus,
I typically wouldn't answer your letter as thoroughly as I am about to, but I have nothing better to do (I'm confined to a makeshift prison cell in an empty classroom up near the Divination Tower for now). I'm not really surprised by your answer. I was surprised by how assertive you were. You haven't been this aggressive since we first started writing each other. I missed Angry Remus. He's much better than Reasonable Remus and Trying to Pity Me Remus.
What's wrong with me: According to a Muggle healer who studies the mind (my mum's obsessed with Muggle things), I have, "narcissistic tendencies and possible antisocial personality disorder, combined with a disregard for consequences and for the feelings of others, with few exceptions." Hits the nail on the head, doesn't it? I'm selfish, I'm not governed by the rules of polite society, and I'm not afraid to hurt feelings. In fact, I don't care much about feelings at all, if that man is right. With few exceptions. I always wondered what that meant. Does that mean that there are a few consequences and feelings I care about, or a few others? Either way, you've got me figured. I am, at least to some extent, mentally ill, but I know exactly who I am and what I'm doing to people, so it's not exactly illness. But, I don't agree with the doctor's diagnosis. I think I feel as much as any other person. I'm just better at hiding it, and I'm less sensitive about things. That's just my take.
Why I keep hanging around: Remus, I told you once that I liked being treated like a person, and that was the truth. Blokes treat me like I'm there to fulfill their desires, and that's all I'm good for. Adults treat me like a princess because they don't want to get on the wrong side of my father. Even Finnegan treats me like a means to an end. Then, you came in, reprimanding me for my behavior, trying to clean up my act. You called me out on the things I do to people. For once, I was actually held to the usual standards of society. There is something that's both irritating and very appealing about you, Lupin. Plus, despite what you say, you're not sick of me, not at all. You need a little more anarchy in your life. Don't worry; I haven't really fallen for you after all this time or anything. Gag me. But, I actually do place some stock in your opinion, which is very rare.
My lack of fondness for people: That's a lie. I'm fond of my brother, Edgar. I'm fond of Finn, to a certain extent. I'm fond of my parents. I do not lack fondness. I'm not heartless, whatever you may think after my behavior this year. I simply can't resist a good experiment, even at the expense of others.
Why you should help me: Since blackmail apparently isn't going to work this time, I don't know. I honestly don't know.
The only good reason I can think of is that I didn't actually do it.
Best Regards,
Amelia Bones
Later, 3/29, Charms class
What if I was thinking of doing something stupid? - RL
I'd say that's very out of character, Moony. What is it? - SB
Something...bad. Something you and Prongs would kill me for. But, something that might be worth it.
I'm still not understanding. Do you want to stop dancing around it and get to the point?
What if Mia Bones wasn't guilty?
There's no way. She was caught with the poison that was used on Diana Rivers and Sam Price. you read Zam's report, right?
Yeah, but isn't there a shot that it was someone else?
Moony, you're a genius. You should be able to comprehend the facts. She's guilty, 110 percent, absolutely no question about it.
I know it's mad, but I honestly think she might not be. She sent me this letter, and even though it could be typical Mia BS, it just seemed...more sincere.
Damn, she's really got her claws in you, doesn't she? She broke your heart, she's been nothing but a pain in the arse, and now she's got you as her defense attorney. Love makes us fools, doesn't it?
I don't love her.
Really? Then why do you let her do this to you? Why does she get to make you her fucking slave?
I don't like Amelia Bones, but I do think ruining the rest of her life is cruel. What she did to me is something that will go away, something that's already become less significant. Locking someone up in Azkaban is far harsher, and I want to make sure she's guilty before we throw her behind bars.
You're full of it.
And you aren't? If we're discussing how love makes us fools, what happened with Zamira Knight? You blew up on her for a minor lie, something that's barely anything compared to some you've told. Everyone else just thinks it's Sirius Black being his erratic, combative self, but I have a different theory. You were SCARED. You had actually fallen for a girl, and you thought you might take the next step and be in a relationship, and that scared the shit out of you. So, you looked for an excuse. You tried to find anything to justify slowing the tempo, because you weren't ready to face the fact that there might actually be someone in this universe besides Sirius Black that you have feelings for. And I'm the one who's full of it?
That's not true. I was angry about that.
Bullshit. Just do me a favor, Padfoot: Don't string her along. I know how it feels to have the rug pulled out from under you, and while I think she can handle herself, I think you're a weak spot. Find that legendary courage and be a man about it. Tell her how you feel about her or let her go. You've spent almost five months in what any sane person would call a relationship. Your time's about up. Are you serious about her?
That's not your business, and you're getting off topic. The point is that you shouldn't be helping Mia Bones. Maybe there's a miniscule chance that she's not guilty, but it's not worth it. She's never done anything that could justify it. Let her father get her out of it. You should just focus on April Fool's.
Yeah, I guess so. When are we doing the last bit?
Prongs said it had to be the night before.
I'll make sure I'm ready, then. I have to take notes now. This might be on the exam. But, Padfoot...consider what I said, alright?
You're right, we should take notes now. Bye, Moony.
3/30
Mia,
I'm not going to help you. It's not that I'm convinced you're guilty; I don't think you'd be denying it if you were. After all, your father could save you from Azkaban if you were really desperate. However, you, innocent or guilty, are not to be trusted. You have a million back-up plans, and I'm still not convinced that you don't have something up your sleeve that will get you out of this. You're still the Mia Bones that managed to fool me for four months, and I can't think that that person is really out of ideas.
-Remus
Later, 3/30
Remus,
Oh, I'm not out of ideas. But, the ideas I have, even though they would work, would hurt a lot of people. For example, I could force your hand, Lupin. I know things about you and your friends. I could make this their problem, too. But, I've decided not to do that, because I'm not in the business of making enemies. The heartbreak business? That grudge lasts months, maybe longer if you're particularly sentimental. The grudge of blackmailing you and using your friends? I think that would last a lot longer. You mentioned my dad a lot, too. There's a reason I'm not calling in my father. He's the head of the Law Enforcement department. My family has a history with the Ministry and in fighting the dark arts. My brother, Edgar, joined the Order of the Phoenix the second he was out of school. None of them know about this yet. Dumbledore has said that he won't contact them until after the trial, and that he won't release the story to the Prophet. My father, my entire family, they would be horrified, thinking I'm some kind of murderess. That's why I wanted student courts, not for some scheme to get out of going to Azkaban. Can you imagine having to be tried by your own father for a crime that he so desperately wants to believe you didn't commit? I couldn't put my father through that.
See? I'm not heartless.
I'm saddened by your rejection, but not surprised. If you change your mind and decide you want to play lawyer, you know where to find me.
-Mia
3/31, Spellotaped to the dormitory door
Dear Lily,
Well, even though I'm not pleased that you dragged the Marauders' names through the mud with this one, I enjoyed Mystery Girl's commemoration of my birthday. The frozen yogurt was a nice touch. Did you Gemino the machine? I can't imagine all the yogurt coming from that thing.
I have not lost my marbles, Evans. That's a terrible thing to say. As a matter of fact, I'm holding your long-lost Unbirthday present in my right hand at this very moment. I'll get it to you on our date after I win.
Remus's scars are something only he can tell you about. The only thing I'll say is they didn't come from a spell.
I suppose Professor McGonagall wouldn't be a horrible comparison. After all, she was married...at least, I think so. So, she's not a saint. I still think you're more fun, though. Can you see McGonagall painting her signature on the wall in hot pink? If you can, I think you should have your head examined. You're hallucinating, Evans.
So, we have to settle this: Who gets the first prank on April Fools? The most fair way to do it seems to be having one person go on the 1st and one on the 2nd. The 1st gets the real day, so it's more authentic, but the 2nd gets the element of surprise. There's only one fair way to settle who goes when. Call it, heads or tails?
Awaiting the Most Wonderful Day of the Year,
James
Later, 3/31, Spellotaped to the dormitory door
Dear James,
When did we start spellotaping things to our dormitory doors again? You did that after the birthday prank, and I decided to continue it with this, but why restart it? I thought you'd become paranoid about someone reading our letters.
Tails.
All My Best,
Lily
Even later, 3/31, Spellotaped to the dormitory door
Dear Lily,
You were right. The stalkers would've gotten bored in our sea of endless inside jokes and they simply would've left by now. It's the easiest way to make sure you read something right away, after all.
Damn, you win. When do you want to go?
Regretting the Coin Flip,
James
Even later, 3/31, Spellotaped to the dormitory door
Dear James,
Fair enough. How do you even get up the stairs? The 6th-year dorms are fairly high up, and I doubt the slide wouldn't get you before you made it to the door. Do you have an accomplice who tapes them to the doors?
I think I'll take the first slot, thanks. I prefer the sincerity of pulling my prank on the real April Fools.
All My Best,
Lily
Latest, 3/31, Spellotaped to the dormitory door
Dear Lily,
Marly's a lovely girl. Did you know she likes chocolates?
I thought you'd say that. Oh, well. It gives us more time to prepare. It'll be so strange, though. The Marauders not pulling a prank on April Fools for the first time in all our years at Hogwarts.
For old times' sake, I think there's only one way I can end this letter: a detention mission.
Anticipating Tomorrow,
James
Detention Mission Number ? (I feel as if we've had many we haven't counted)
Pull off a grand April Fools prank, Mystery Girl. Merlin willing, this may be the thing that finally allows you to experience a glorious detention.
Reward: A happy student body, infuriated teachers, and everything an April Fools should be. The date with me is just a bonus.
4/1
Dear James,
I'm not sure if you're up yet (I'm sure the owl rapping on your window will wake you), but I just wanted to thank you for the detention note. Although I remain free, it's a nice gesture. Tell me what you think of my handiwork.
All My Best,
Lily
Later, 4/1
Dear Lily,
It's hard to say if I'm impressed. Honestly, I expected more and hoped for less at the same time. You see, you're strange to me. Ordinarily, I'd hope I could say that I'd beaten you, that I undoubtedly had the better prank. But, I also had a hand in mentoring you, and I almost want you to be better than me. I'm not saying this to lead into some attempt to ask you out; I don't need it.
While I am, in fact, fairly impressed and it's quite grand for a first-time prank, I can say without hesitation: The Marauders are doing something better. I'm just stating the facts. We're the experts and you're an amateur, and no matter how famous you get and how big "Mystery Girl" is, experience always matters.
Tell me what you think of ours tomorrow. I'm going to go write something on the wall while the paint's still wet.
Hoping This Doesn't Offend You,
James
Hogwarts Tribune
4/1
Editorial: Mystery Girl Impresses With Paint Prank, Marauders Nowhere to Be Seen
by Zamira Knight, Editor-in-Chief
For the first time in my six years at Hogwarts, the Marauders did not pull off an April Fool's prank. perhaps they're simply waiting to throw us off our game, or maybe they just left the big day for the rookies this year. Either way, it was very odd to not see their trademark mischief on the only day of the year that celebrates mayhem.
But, a new face has emerged in the grand tradition of Hogwarts pranking. Mystery Girl took the reins on this year's April Fool's prank, and the school I awoke to could only be described in one word: Colorful. Every inch of the school's walls and floors were covered in all shades of paint. The paint was bewitched to stay wet, and there were paint buckets left throughout the school for throwing at others. Teachers rushed around trying to clean the walls and turn the angry portraits that had been turned to face the wall right side up again. Thrilled students made paint angels and wrote large messages to each other on the walls, some too lewd to print in this paper.
While I had a lot of fun throwing paint around and making angels (although I had less fun trying to get said paint out of my hair), I have to admit, I missed the Marauders. While Mystery Girl is a wonderful enigma, there's something to be said for tradition and the familiarity of Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail.
But, maybe there's hope for a Marauder prank: Written in small letters outside the Gryffindor Common Room in neon green paint, "Mystery Girl: Leave the pranks to the professionals." Could this mean that we may see a Marauder's prank after all? Or was this just another clever trick on the day when we're all jokers?
Even later, 4/1
Padfoot,
Got all the supplies?
-Prongs
4/1
Prongs,
Yeah, just finished. We had a bit of trouble getting our hands on the Polyjuice; I think their stores are low. It's been three weeks since the full moon, so they're probably low on fluxweed. Either way, we got everything without being detected. You in position?
-Padfoot
4/1
Padfoot,
I'm in position. Let the games begin.
-Prongs
4/2
Dear James,
Congratulations. You win. I'm not even ashamed to admit it. Your prank was brilliant. You even had me fooled for a second, and I knew there was going to be a prank. It was simply cleverer on every level, and that's what a good prank should be, shouldn't it? My pranks were best in the beginning, because they were cleverer than your detention missions. Then, they stopped being as clever, and that was my own fault. Be warned, though, I plan on kicking your arse next year.
Did you set up the hat to do something specific or was it random? I got Hufflepuff.
So...as much as it pains me to ask, when do you want the date to be?
All My Best,
Lily
Hogwarts Tribune
4/2
Editorial: The Marauders Are Back and Better Than Ever Before With Grand Post-April Fool's Prank
by Zamira Knight, Editor-In-Chief
Sometimes, no matter how many newcomers attempt to steal your crown, you just can't beat the original. That's certainly true of the Marauders, who returned after a long hiatus from pranking to deliver a fantastic April Fool's prank that will be talked about for years to come.
Early yesterday morning, you were probably woken up by someone in your dorm, frantically telling you to go to the Great Hall, because Dumbledore had an announcement. I, like you, didn't buy it at first, but the person was so emphatic I had to follow them. Sure enough, there was Dumbledore, standing at the front of the Great Hall with the Sorting Hat and a stool beside him. He told the gathering crowd that due to a campaign led by parents and several of the governors and in order to build school unity after the recent house wars, we were all going to be resorted. The new houses we were placed into were ours effective immediately.
So, all of us lined up in the center of the Great Hall, going up to have the hat put on our heads for the second time in our Hogwarts career. Nothing seemed out of place at this point; no teachers other than Dumbledore had come and no students questioned Dumbledore. I must admit, I felt the exact same way I did the first time I stood in line before the hat: Nervous, excited, and slightly apprehensive. Obviously, I'd be put in Ravenclaw again...right? I'd grown up a lot in the six years since I'd had that hat put on my head, but I thought that I was still a Ravenclaw after all this time.
I was one of the last to have the hat put atop my head. In my time waiting, I'd seen triumphant cheers and people on the verge of tears as they headed to their new first classes. Friends were separated or brought together, and some were euphoric about house changes, while some were unhappy with getting placed in the house they'd always been in. It was a fun sort of chaos.
Then, the moment of truth. The hat rests on my head for the second time in my life and barely hesitates a moment before shouting out, "RAVENCLAW!" It's completely embarrassing to admit, but I felt close to tears at that moment.
Then, about three people after me, McGonagall and the real Dumbledore walked in. I was extremely confused, to say the least. But, as it dawned on me, things started to make sense. The sorting thing wasn't real. The reason it had been so early was so the teachers wouldn't notice. But, when the newly sorted kids showed up to the wrong classes, the teachers started to figure out something funny was going on. Just as I had this revelation, I watched the fake Dumbledore's face shift until I was looking at James Potter, who pulled his glasses out of a pocket in his robes and grinned at the crowd. Then, all the pieces fell into place, and I realized I'd just witnessed the most fantastic Marauders prank I'd ever seen. Potter was escorted out to cheers and applause by Dumbledore and McGonagall.
The prank was brilliant in its realism. Good pranks make something unbelievable happen, but great pranks manage to fool you into believing something that appears to be true. Clearly the Marauders are masters of both, and I look forward to seeing what they bring to the table next.
4/3
Dear Lily,
A compliment from Mystery Girl? That's high praise. I will agree that maybe you got a little too caught up in it all and perhaps you weren't quite as clever as in the beginning. But, I'll also say you set a high standard from the beginning, and trying to up the bar every single time couldn't have helped. Your April Fool's prank was fun, it just wasn't the sheer genius that we had. (I may be saying this because I was the one who had the idea.)
It wasn't obvious, Evans? It had to be random, because there's no way you're anything other than a Gryffindor.
A week from today on our Hogsmeade visit, April 9th. Don't want you finding a loophole. But...don't sound so miserable about it, please? It's you and me. Obviously we're going to have some fun. If we don't, you have the right never to speak to me again (although that doesn't mean I'll never speak to you). If nothing else, you're getting a present. I hope you'll remember something pleasant other than that, though.
Cleaning the Trophy Room,
James
4/4
Sirius,
It's been a while, hasn't it? It's been awkward between us since you blew up on me, so I thought I might clear the air. I'm sorry for being so odd and sappy and crying at that party. No one's more embarrassed than me. I'm not all that sorry for lying. Not anymore. It's ancient history, and it shouldn't really change anything between us. It was such a minor detail. But, it has, and I'm sorry it did that. I was sorry I said it at first, but I realized later that it was part of what got us talking, and what led to us being friends, and I can't really be sorry for a lie with such a good outcome.
You remember when we used to argue over music? Gray sent me the new Pink Floyd record today. I'm really not sure what I make of them. They're certainly not the Beatles, that's for sure. Your take? By the way, would you happen to have a copy of Led Zeppelin's last album? Gray refuses to send it, because he thinks it's garbage. I think he's gone mad. All he listens to is punk now. It's not that I don't like the Ramones or the Sex Pistols, it's just not my favorite, you know? Of course, you're probably the type that worships at the punk altar.
People are finally coming back to the paper. We've almost got a full staff, which is good, because the Bones story will probably break soon and we'll need all hands on deck. Plus, I get to keep being editor! The old one's furious, but McGonagall (one of our sponsors) said that I stayed on when she left, so I get the job. The death glares that the seventh years are shooting my way barely faze me. I'm acting editor for the rest of my time at Hogwarts! I wish you'd come back, though. For all your snark and your horrible writing, it was nice to have someone around who didn't think of me as that annoying blonde girl. Well, at least not most of the time.
You think I've rambled on long enough? I've tried to fill the letter with enough content to make friendly conversation. I'm not sure what we were before that whole thing, but I'm pretty sure that's not what we are now. I'm a little sad, but pretty much okay with that. I want to be friends with you, though. That's not optional. I'm going to worm my way into your life whether you like it or not. If you want to go beyond that, just let me know.
Loads of Love,
Zam
4/5
Dear James,
My bar was pretty high. I also came into this with a lot less (basically zero) experience than you, and that should be taken into account. I think I did pretty well, though. I may have to hang up the Mystery Girl persona for now. April Fool's was fun, but I don't want to push it too much. I have to be Head Girl next year, after all. I think I may pull off one grand last prank, then let Mystery Girl live on as a Hogwarts legend.
See, I've had a hard time believing I'm a Gryffindor. I'm rash and hot-headed and sometimes brave, but I don't think I'm a generally courageous person, you know? Sometimes I think I would've done better in Ravenclaw or something like that.
April 9th it is, then. It's not that I think it's going to be horrible, it's just...hard to wrap my head around, I guess. I never thought I'd see the day where I somewhat consensually went on a date with James Potter. Lily Evans is going on a date with James Potter. The words even look funny, see? Don't worry; I'm sure you'll be a passable date at the very least. I've been on some fairly wretched dates, so it's hard to set the bar any lower.
All My Best,
Lily
4/6, Charms class
Hey, Lil. - RL
Hey, Remus! Is this about the Prefect rounds? I'm willing to trade, if you want. I know it's hard for you with your visits to Madame Pomfrey. - LE
No, it's about something else. Thanks for the offer, though. I might take you up on it. I'll have to check my rounds schedule again.
No problem. I feel great sympathy for anyone who has to spend that much time in the Hospital Wing. Sometimes I suspect Pomfrey's Voldemort in disguise.
I'd say it's definitely not out of the question. No, it's about Mia. I know what James, Sirius, and Peter have to say, but I'd like to hear some non-Marauders weigh in.
Ah, so you've come to your wisest and most intuitive friend for advice?
James really has rubbed off on you, hasn't he?
Yes, unfortunately. He's hard to shake. So, Mia's asked you to be her lawyer or something?
Basically. On the one hand, I owe her nothing and she's done nothing to prove herself worthy of my help. On the other, I don't believe a person who's possibly innocent should be put behind bars.
Do you have any conclusive proof?
No, but I don't think she'd try and deny doing it if she had. Mia's smart enough to know when she's been caught and own up to it.
We also know she's practically a compulsive liar and a possible psychopath.
There's no proof that she's a psychopath. That's just something Sirius and James assume.
Well, I have a mental health survey from a tour of St. Mungo's over break somewhere in my bag. Want me to find it?
Sure. Can't hurt, I suppose.
Okay, got it. Has Mia ever played on your sympathy or your emotions then hurt you?
Yeah, she did. That was the start of this whole problem.
So, you'd say Mia is emotionally manipulative?
Extremely. She has referred to people as pawns several times.
Has Mia every emotionally manipulated you into buying her things or meeting her needs?
She did manipulate me into getting her locket back for her once.
Okay, got it. We already know Mia's deceitful, so we can skip that one. Is Mia charming?
She certainly has charisma, I'd say that about her.
Is she proud or arrogant?
I don't think I'd say she's proud, but I certainly wouldn't say she's humble.
Is Mia good at covering up anger?
I'm not sure I've ever seen her angry. She seems pretty apathetic in general.
Does she like taking risks?
Well, she did date Finnegan Lockwood. In general, I don't think so.
Does she accept blame?
She did know that she was to blame for the whole debacle between us. I wouldn't say she felt sorry.
There's nothing definite, but the test indicates that she's definitely above average in psychopathic tendencies.
Great, just great. So, now I have absolutely no good reason to help her.
Why do you want to?
Because...you know, however stupid it is, sometimes you think there's a person that can be saved out there. When you know you can't be, it's really hard to give up on someone who can, even if that person is a lying, psychopathic bitch who broke your heart.
Remus, it says here that psychopaths can't be treated. What if she's a lost cause?
Well, I suppose I'd have to go on good faith that she's not, then. But, I think this new shadow on her mental health will help ease my mind a little on turning her down. I don't want to have any more history between us.
Whatever you say. I'm glad I could help. Just be careful, okay? Whatever she is, getting tangled up in her mess is hardly a good idea.
That's why I'm not going to help. I don't need any more trouble in my life. Thanks, Lil. See you...Tuesday, right? For the meeting?
Yep. Give me a shout if you need anything.
4/7
Dear Lily,
Are you joking? Being Head Girl is the best reason to continue being Mystery Girl I've ever heard. NO ONE can punish you, because, hey, you're Head Girl. You've only been in this for a year. We've barely scratched the surface on what we can do here at Hogwarts. The Marauders and Mystery Girl could've been a legendary combination. We never even got to dragons. We at least need to bring in the dragons before you quit.
You're quite courageous, Evans. Who else would venture outside of the safety of a Prefect position and decide to risk detention everyday for pranks? Who else would trust me after years of abuse? You're a brave one, Lil. Don't doubt yourself. I hate when you do that. Everyone's got flaws. Don't think any less of yourself because of them.
That shows how different we are, because looking at those words makes me feel like it's my birthday and Christmas and April Fool's and a Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor all rolled into one. Do you know how long I've waited for this? Of course you do, that's how long you've been turning me down. Passable? I'm an extraordinary date. I'm also a fair kisser, but you already know that.
In Disbelief That In Two Days I'll Be On a Date With LILY EVANS,
James
4/8, Transfiguration Class
Hello, Evans. -SB
Hey, Sirius. Got a message for me from James? - LE
No. It's still weird to see you calling him by his first name, by the way. I have to ask you about Zam. You're friends with her and you're a bird, so I figured you'd be good for this sort of thing.
Wow. I expect this sort of thing from Remus, but definitely not from you.
I'm certainly not making a habit of it, trust me. But, she sent me a letter and I have no fucking idea what to do about it.
Well, I'd say writing back would be a good first step.
I didn't come asking for wit or sarcasm, Evans. I can come up with that all on my own. No, I don't know what we are anymore. She thinks we're friends, Remus thinks we should date, and I...I have no clue, to be honest. I found it a lot easier when I just "dated" a girl for a week, snogged and possibly shagged her, then dumped her.
You're a pig sometimes, you know that?
Yeah, but I'm a damn good shag.
Oh my God, I'm going to pretend you didn't put that pathetic attempt to hit on me on paper. Back to Zam. Do you WANT to date her?
Well, maybe, but-
Sirius, do you like her?
Yeah.
Do you enjoy being with her?
Most of the time, but she can be a right pain in the arse.
Do you like snogging her?
Yeah, definitely.
Do you want to be with her on a regular basis?
Yeah, although we hang out (or hung out) a fair bit as it is.
Then, congratulations, you're probably ready to actually date her, as opposed to whatever the hell you were doing before.
But, isn't it easier to just keep snogging her on a friendly basis?
Yeah, it is, if you want to be a pussy about it. It's a lot easier to just try and hide from feelings and keep things the same. But, if you see yourself going anywhere with Zam, you'll do her and yourself a service by taking the risk and putting yourself-
Putting yourself where? What's with the awkward pause in writing, Evans? What's with the weird face and the running your hands through your hair?
Out there. Putting yourself out there. Just the great revelation that I am a big fat hypocrite.
Oh, that's not true, Evans. You're quite thin.
Look, just write her a letter, okay? I don't know if you're capable of actually expressing your feelings, but it would be nice if you at least asked Zam to be your girlfriend.
I'll try, although the whole thing sounds like a lot of effort.
It is. But, the payoff's good enough to make it worth it. If it's any consolation, I know how hard it is to realize that you maybe might be crazy about someone. But, it's not too late to tell them.
Gotcha. I'll keep that in mind.
Wait, might be crazy about someone? Would that someone be JAMES? What are you hiding, Evans?
Lily Whatever Your Middle Name Is Evans, stop ignoring the wads of paper I'm throwing at your head and answer me, woman!
4/8
Dear James,
That's true, we never did get to the dragons. Perhaps the hat can't be hung up until we get there. Maybe that could be my one last grand prank? I at least need to take a break for a little while. It's exhausting, planning a prank almost every month. Now I see why the Marauders only do them a couple of times a year.
Thanks for that. If I can't think more of myself, you can do it for me. I think you're brave, too, but you don't need to hear that. You're James Potter, the exceptionally self-confident. In your mind, everything is in reach if you use the proper method.
I think it'll be better than passable. I think it'll be absolutely wonderful. I'm not going to comment on your kissing, as I don't need to inflate your overly large ego anymore.
All My Best,
Lily
4/8
Letter to Zam - Drafts
[Zamira,]
[Zam,
I want to date you.]
[Zam,
We've been hanging out for a long time and I like you a lot and your hair smells good and]
[Zam,
I think we should shag sometime. You game?]
Screw it, this can wait another day.
4/9
Dear Miss Evans,
Please report to my office as soon as you receive this. A matter has arisen that must be discussed.
Best Wishes,
Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster
4/9
Dear Lily,
See? I knew you'd come around. Now, I just have to keep talking you into pranks until you literally can't give it up, or we've graduated. A break's justifiable. The entire thing takes a lot of time. Part of the reason we take such lengthy breaks is because of the detentions we have to serve. I'm currently at...two months? At least until the end of school. My all-time record is four and a half (not all for one prank. We're good, not that good.)
Ah, not everything. For a while, I thought you were out of my reach. That may have been because I had you on a pedestal, but nevertheless. However, I do believe in the proper method, and I was able to use it with you. Now, we're friends and we're going on a date, so clearly things have paid off.
Oh, you know how my kissing was, Evans. The mere fact that you won't comment tells me it was pretty damn good. So, I'll pick you up at six?
More Excited Than I Ever Thought It Was Possible to Be,
James
Later, 4/9
Dear James,
Please, please, please don't be angry, alright? I promise I'm not trying to worm my way out of our date. But, I can't come tonight, I'm sorry. You see, I've been found out. They know I'm Mystery Girl. They haven't fully settled on my punishment yet, but for now...I have detention.
All My Best,
Lily