Disclaimer: I do not own National Lampoon's Last Resort nor reap any benefit.

Enjoy the slash! ;D

"This is all your fault!" Dave shouted across the beach to the only person who remained on the sand besides himself. It was dusk, the only light came from the pink, setting sun and its even brighter reflection in the water. Dave was getting flustered as the night grew closer because it meant time was running out.

"Me?" Sam shouted indignantly, his voice squeaking slightly. He threw his hand to his chest, staring at Dave in utter disbelief. "Me? Me? You're blaming me?"

"Yes, I am!" Dave shouted spitefully, folding his arms across his chest as his boyfriend clambered over various sand dunes in order to come closer. "This-this is all your fault!" He repeated. "You never, EVER listen to me!"

"What-what didn't I do?" Sam asked defensively as he approached Dave. "All I said was 'Hey! We should go to the beach today!' And you agreed to it!"

"Yeah, well, now our cat is lost, Sam! Because I told you that we shouldn't go out," Dave muttered bitterly, smacking his lips. "We didn't even have that cat for a day."

"Dave, you-you're ridiculous, it's a cat," he said, shrugging it off. "A cat, Dave! Just a little cat, no big deal. It's an island, for God's sake. Cats can't swim, so he prob-"

"He's probably drowning!" Dave burst out frantically. He put his hands in his hair. "Oh my God! We shouldn't have let him out! Now he's dead! Dead! Dead-"

"Repeating, repeating…stop," Sam said calmly, putting a hand on Dave's shoulder. "No repeating. Look, cats hate water. Why would it go towards water?"

Dave was still panicked as he looked at Sam. "Sam, he's a cat. He doesn't know what water is!" He turned away from Sam and knelt down, snapping in front of him into some shrubs that lined the beach. "Kitty, kitty," he coaxed. "Come on, pretty kitty."

"Dave, will you stop that?" Sam snapped, waving his arms at him. "Stop it! You look like an idiot!"

Dave whipped his head and glared at Sam. "Excuse me, Sam, for giving a shit about this cat which I bought with my money-"

"Always about money with you," Sam said, his eyes squinted as he shook his head dismissively at Dave. "Dave, it's a cat. A cat, it knows how to survive in the wild."

"Whatever," Dave said, turning back towards the greenery. He resumed his high, coaxing voice as he continued to snap at the bushes. "Pretty kitty, come here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"

Sam was utterly humiliated. All this for a stupid cat; he doubted Dave would be this upset if he ran away from home. "How'd the thing get out anyway?"

Dave slowly turned his head once more to Sam, only his face was utterly disgusted. "That thing's name is Mr. Shnookums, Sam. And I don't know how, you were the last one to leave the house. Did you shut the door behind you?"

"First of all, that is a terrible, horrific, stupid name for a cat. And of course I-" Sam froze as he realized he completely had left the house abandoned, door wide opened. He forced a chuckle, looking at Dave with an innocent smile. "What would…you say if I-I told you no?"

"No? NO!" he repeated, flying up to his feet. "No! No-"

"Stop repeating!" Sam begged, closing his eyes, shielding himself from the shouting. "Stop it!"

"Stop it? Stop it? St-sorry," he apologized, remorseful for only a second before his anger resumed. "But you don't ever think about what's important to me! I'm bottom of your list of priorities, bub!" He pushed Sam back lightly with his hand. "I'm sick of it!"

Sam scoffed dramatically, rolling his eyes and swatting Dave's hand away. "Is this all about the stupid cat?"

"It's not stupid!" Dave yelled. "And you know what? I'm-I'm-I'm-"

"Finish your thought," Sam said with an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sick of you not caring about anything that's important to me!" Dave continued angrily. "You left the door open for the cat! You don't ever watch the movies I pick out! You never notice when I clean the whole house!"

Sam stopped him, putting his hand up to his mouth. "I thought this was just about the stupid cat?"

Dave shook his head, completely defeated. "You know what? Whatever, man. Whatever," he muttered, completely pulling away from Sam. "You don't care about the cat? Fine, it doesn't matter then."

Sam sighed, letting his head fall back. He lifted his head, smiling slightly. "Dave, c'mon, don't be such a baby."

"I'm not being a baby," he asserted, completely emotionless. He looked down at the sand, rubbing his hands together. "I'm just sick and tired of not being respected that's it."

"I respect you," Sam argued, folding his arms. "Don't be stupid, stupid."

Dave was going to protest, but instead just held up his hands in defeat. "Got it. Of course," he said as he turned around and headed back to the resort.

"Dave! DAVE!" Sam called out, cemented to his spot on the beach. "Wh-where are you going? We have to find the stupid cat!"

Dave half-heartedly waved as he continued walking. Or maybe he flipped him off. Sam didn't ask as Dave disappeared back into the resort.

Sam never felt guilty in his life before that moment. He sighed, walking towards the ocean. "Goddamn cat!" he shouted, throwing his arms into the air with frustration.

Dave looked at the clock that hung on their wall. It was midnight and he hadn't heard from Sam since he'd left him at the beach…

…at six-thirty. He wasn't one to worry, but he was getting worried. He flicked through the same ten channels before giving up, tossing the remote on the table. He sighed, running a hand over his face. He would get up in a few minutes and find him, that was the plan. Sam could have not done anything that stupid-without Dave anyway.

They were a dynamic duo with that kind of shit.

Much to his relief, he heard the door open a few seconds later. He jumped over the back of the couch and saw Sam standing there, rather disheveled, with a completely healthy and happy Mr. Shnookums. Dave's entire face lit up as Sam dropped the cat on the ground and it made a run towards Dave. He scooped up the golden colored cat and smiled. "Kitty cat, I missed you! I missed you…" he looked at Sam, unable to stop smiling though he wanted to be mad. "Where were you? I was worried."

"I was out looking for your Goddamn cat!" Sam snapped, brushing more dust off of his jet black zoot suit, which now was torn on the sleeves and matted with dirt. He took off his fedora and threw it to the side. "That cat is evil, Dave, evil. It climbs through trees, bushes, sand…under people's houses!" Sam yanked off his jacket and threw it to the ground. "Do you know how hard it is for me to climb trees, Dave? Do you? Because let me tell you, it's hard!" He rolled up the sleeves of his electric button up shirt, pulling his hair out of the ponytail, glaring at Dave as he smiled. "And you're smiling like a-a-a smiling…thing," Sam said, rolling his hand and shrugging in his pissy little manner. "Great, great. You're smiling. Why are you smiling?"

Dave kept smiling, putting the cat down. He came over and rested his hands on Sam's shoulder. "Because you climbed under houses for me. That's why?"

"Well," Sam bragged, rolling his eyes like it was no big deal. "I mean, I am the best boyfriend on earth."

"You are, you are," Dave agreed with a slow nod. "I agree."

"And, psh, I love you and stuff as…as a secondary…reason," he muttered coolly, though his smirk gave him away

Dave smiled and kissed him gently. "I love you too."

Sam looked at him with an inquisitive smile. "I am the best boyfriend, aren't I?"

"You are," Dave asserted, resting his forehead against Sam's. "I…guarantee it."

"Good," Sam whispered, resting a hand on Dave's cheek and kissing him again. "And don't you forget it."