Poptart notes: The infomercial is based on one I saw for a product called "Alumalloy". It was boring as a pile of bricks, but for whatever reason, you couldn't change the channel.
I apologize for the amount of lameness in this first chapter. I'm also sorry that I don't hate Albert.

"Hey, guys!"

"Oh, hi, Irving!" Phineas greeted his acquaintance as cheerfully as ever. The young boy sat under the large tree in his backyard, with his brother next to him, while his other friends were scattered over the yard. Irving had just walked into the yard, with Albert close behind.

"That's funny," Phineas said, "I thought the fence was locked."

"It was!" Irving replied in a casual tone, prompting Phineas to smile nervously. "So wat'cha—" Isabella whipped around, casting an icy glare at him. "—I mean, err, uh, are you doing anything?" Irving stuttered, correcting himself.

"That's the weird thing, Irving; we don't seem to know. Ferb and I have no pages left in our plan book."

"Oh, that's so terrible." Albert cut in with his usual tone. "Now I'm here without anything interesting to watch."

Linda then stepped outside into the driveway. "Oh, Irving." She said as she was at the car door. "You kids be good. I'm off to the convenience store. Your friends are allowed to go in if they're careful."

"Excellent." Albert said as she pulled out of the driveway. "If you don't mind, I'll be going inside. Call for me when something actually happens." He slammed the door behind him.

There was a pause.

"Jerk." Said Baljeet.

"Seriously?" Irving asked. "You've got nothing planned?"

"Well, there are two things;" Ferb spoke. "Look for some more Mentos, and wonder where Perry is." Presently, everyone looked around the yard. Indeed, the platypus was gone.

/

He had jumped onto the back of Mrs. Flynn's car, and was riding easily on the back, until they drove by the bus stop. Perry jumped off, and gave his fare when the bus stopped. He then hopped onto a seat, and then waited until the next stop, where he arrived at a public mailbox. He leapt in, and, after swimming through a paper cut sea, came into the lair.

Monogram was on the monitor. "Good morning, Agent P. There has been a significant drop in the Mentos-level in the entire Tri-State area. This has hit Carl fairly hard—"

"How am I supposed to have minty-fresh breath now?" The college student cried from off-screen.

"We figured it's Doofenshmirtz, because, you know, it's always Doofenshmirtz. Go out there and get him, Agent P." Perry saluted his officer and fled the room.

/

"Hello? Hello?" Albert called aloud. When he finally wandered into the living room, he was surprised to see Candace lying out on the couch. "Candace?"

"Oh. It's you again, dweeb. Albert, right?" Candace's eyes never left the television as she flickered through the channels.

"The very same." Albert said in a smug tone, bowing low before her.

"How cute. What're you doing in my house?"

"It seems that your brothers are up to…nothing." Candace swung her legs off the couch, and Albert sat next to her.

"Ugh, I know. I've been through this episode before." Candace grunted, and her pressing of the "Channel +" button became more violent. "Trying to get them to do something doesn't work, believe me. So I just have to be bored to death until bedtime."

"Sorry to hear that."

There was a silence between the two as Candace flipped through channels. She stated their medium aloud as the stations flew past.

"Bad news, worse news, sad news, stupid news, commercial, stupid kid's show about a yellow guy, stupider show about two little boys, commercial, commercial, commercial, commercial, rock concert—just joking, commercial—commercial, commercial, infomercial." Candace stopped suddenly on the last one. It was fairly standard—just video of the product being used (a welding tool) while a woman who was half asleep chattered on in the background. Still, Candace did not change the channel, and Albert didn't tell her to.

In fact, they were both paying rapt attention.

/

"Hm, Mentos, huh?" Phineas thought aloud. "I think I feel an idea coming on…"

"Yeah, have an idea Phineas!" Irving encouraged him. "You can do it!" Phineas glanced around the yard. Isabella humming, Ferb…ferbing, Buford shaking up a soda bottle and releasing it all on Baljeet's face…Wait! That was it!

"Ferb! I finally figured out what we're going to do today!" Irving squeaked with delight.

"…Please don't do that." Phineas said. "Now, all we'll need is a few thousand fifty-five liters of diet soda, a few billion Mentos, and somebody with a Degree in Art and Professional Design!" Ferb quickly held up a certificate.

"Excellent! Okay, team, time to make the world's first…Soda-fountain masterpiece!