Disclaimer: I do not own Lost Boys nor reap any benefit.

Funniness I promised, loves!

"You're a fucking idiot."

Edgar stopped digging around the floor of his car and shot his brother an exasperated glare. "Hey," he barked at him. "I know I didn't forget the key."

"Too bad you fucking did," Alan said solemnly, leaning against the back of his truck, watching his brother dig through the trash wedged under the seats. His eyes would follow soda bottles as they leapt from the car and bounced down the pavement. They'd been outside for about fifteen minutes when Edgar realized he didn't have the keys to get into the store. "I wanna get into work today," he threatened, watching an old comic blow down the street. "I mean it."

"You could help," Edgar muttered, digging through the last of the trash under his driver's seat. He sighed, defeated as he slammed the car door. "It's not in the car."

"Maybe you left it in the store," Alan offered as he kicked one of the soda bottles. It skidded a few feet in front of him. He looked at Edgar and shrugged.

Edgar rolled his eyes defiantly. "I wouldn't do that, Alan. Please. I'm not that irresponsible," he turned and looked towards the store. "Maybe the front door isn't locked…"

Alan watched his brother walk over to the store with a wary eye. "It better be unlocked."

Edgar half-heartedly waved his brother off as he approached the door. The grate was definitely closed…securely. He doubted it was unlocked.

One firm tug on the lock proved that Edgar was more safety conscious than originally perceived. "Dammit," he muttered. "Alan!" he called out, going back to his car. "The door's locked."

"No shit," Alan muttered, watching his brother go back into his car. "What are you doing?"

"I'm…going to…pry the lock open," he asserted, leaning over the front seat and digging around the bag of weaponry he kept in the glove compartment. Thank God he was never pulled over, a cop would not understand the reason behind the weaponry. "Hah!" he said with a smug smile as he crawled out of the car, holding up stake. "Pick the lock with this."

Alan looked from the stake to his brother in skeptic disbelief. He nodded, sarcastically optimistic. "Yeah, totally."

"Shut up," Edgar snapped before going back over to the door. "It's an old lock. I might just be able to wedge it between the two parts and pry it open. What do you think?"

"Can I just smash in a window?" Alan offered, completely bored with the whole thing. Edgar acted like they were in a fucking vaudeville skit.

"Yes, Alan," Edgar shot back, offended at the brute idiocy Alan occasionally possessed. Violence was certainly the way to run a business-well, it was to run the vampire business. But not the comic business. "That makes sense. Let's break in the window we don't have the finances to fix. That will prevent theft and crime from…infiltrating the-the build-"

Snap.

Alan looked up, like a dog hearing a noise at the front door. "What the hell was that?"

"Nothing," Edgar asserted quickly, so quickly that the irritability had not quite left his voice. "Stake just…didn't work."

Alan's mouth twitched in a quick smirk. "You fucking break it?"

"…the lock did," Edgar insisted, his voice again knowledgeable and commanding. "Not a problem. We can rest assured that this lock is incredibly secure."

Alan remained silent. Yah-fucking-hoo. Who the fuck cared about that lock? Alan needed to work that night and earn some money. There were plenty of people walking around, plenty of money to be made to be spent on new weaponry. New weaponry, more death to vampires, more people saved. More people saved, more money to be made at the comic store.

And…Alan was just kind of itching for a good hunt, a nice, solid kill.

"Now," Edgar informed Alan as he walked back over, the stump of the stake in his hand. "I believe that the back door would be easier to pick open."

"Why didn't we try that first?"

"I am aware," Edgar continued to explain, though he was exasperated with Alan's goddamn questioning. He wanted to get into work just as badly as Alan. His eyes scanned the boardwalk, it was fully populated. Potential sales were at a maximum. A constant cycle Edgar was happy to indulge. "That this should have been the first option. However-"

"Let's go try the door," Alan agreed. Edgar nodded and began walking towards the back.

Anything to spare Alan another lecture about the technicalities of opening a door.

Alan walked around the building slowly, reluctant to join his brother because God knows what exactly Edgar would rope him into. Edgar was using…something to pick at the lock. He was knelt in front of the doorknob, jabbing at the inside of the lock. He looked beyond frustrated and Alan sighed.

"Want me to do it?"

Edgar looked up, relieved to see his brother and hand over the responsibility. But, because he didn't want to seem like he lost his cool or was incompetent at performing a simple task so he shrugged, stepping away. "I'll go see if I have anything else in the car. The…pick isn't cutting it, you know?"

Alan nodded and let Edgar go around the back. Alan was no thief, but he was no stranger to picking locks. He sometimes forgot his keys to the house or to the store.

Sometimes he just wanted to see the inside of a locked room, like that one closet they kept locked in Church.

Alan pulled out the paper clip out of the lock, sighing in defeat. Edgar hadn't initially put it in correctly and now the whole thing was warped and bent. "Mother…Jesus," Alan muttered to himself, tossing the pin aside and looking at the lock, the doorknob. Then he looked over at the small windows. Maybe he could smash one of those in-

Edgar ran back. "Alan," he called out. "I fucking locked my keys in my car."

Alan closed his eyes and rested his head on the door. He was just about ready to kill Edgar. Shame he didn't have any weapons around except that nub of a stake. Maybe he could beat him over the head-

There was a growl behind him. Alan flew up, scanning the dark wasteland that was the back of their store. Edgar came over, looking at where the noise came from. "Vampire?" he murmured softly.

"It's early," Alan corrected, his eyes still scanning the horizon. There were two black dumpsters that barely contrasted with the darkening sky. "It wouldn't be-"

It lunged. Alan heard the trash scrape under it's feet and it push off against the dumpster. Instinct set in immediately for Alan, and almost instantly he pushed Edgar behind him and into a metal garbage can, and bore the brunt of the lunge.

The vampire flew on top of him, pinning him to the ground. It screeched, it's wet fangs dripping onto Alan's cheek. "Ugh, God," Alan complained as he struggled to push the blood sucker's face away from his.

Edgar scrambled to his feet, looking for a weapon, something. "Alan," he called out, reminding him he was still there. He wouldn't leave his brother out here. It wouldn't happen. Edgar reached for the nearest piece of weaponry, the lid to the fallen trash can and held it over his head, bringing it down full force onto the vampire's back.

The creature of the night yelped, stunned by the blow and fell limp on top of Alan. Alan rolled the thing off of him, pushing himself off the ground. "We need a stake," he ordered, looking at his brother.

The vampire sprung up, wiping the chipped gravel from it's cheek. It snarled, leaning forward, ready to pounce again.

Edgar nodded at Alan. "They're inside. You can break in," he said authoritatively, looking at the vampire. "I've got el vampiro."

The vampire laughed, walking over to Edgar like he was nothing. Alan was reluctant to leave, he nodded in agreement with Edgar's plan but didn't move. He wouldn't sacrifice his brother.

"Go!" Edgar bellowed, punching the approaching vampire in the jaw.

Alan nodded, running over to the door. If he stayed, Edgar would die. If he went to fight the door…

…Edgar had a chance.

He threw his entire body weight against the door, and the damn thing wouldn't budge. There was no getting around it.

The vampire grabbed onto Edgar's shirt, pulling him towards him, his fangs bared. Edgar pushed against the vampire's shoulders, kicking the thing in the knee. It screamed, dropping one hand to the wound. Edgar then, growling slightly himself, used both hands to flip the vampire onto it's back.

Alan stared at the window.

Bingo.

As he approached the window, Edgar called out,

"Alan!"

Alan whipped around, staring at his brother. Edgar was bitten. Edgar was dying. Alan never should have walked away from him, he never should have left him. "What?" he called out frantically, losing his brother in the dark.

"Don't break the windows!" Edgar demanded. "Christ, Alan-" the vampire cut him off as it shoved him back into the store's wall.

…Alan would kill him. "Edgar," he called out. "Now is not the time-"

The vampire had him pinned to the wall, smirking as he looked at Edgar hungrily. "Break the window," Edgar called out, his authority lessened by the twinge of fear in his voice.

Alan looked at him, desperately confused and frantic. "You just said-"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ALAN! BREAK THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW!"

Alan did not waste another second before he used the side of his body to smash the window. He tumbled through the glass, right onto the floor of the storage room-where they had the weapons stocked right above his head. He flew up, grabbing a stake that rested on the counter top. He ran to the door, swinging it open. He saw the vampire hunched over Edgar, choking him as Edgar blindly punched at his face.

Alan leapt on the vampire's back, knocking him forward and right on top of Edgar. He heard bones crunch and someone scream as all three fell to the ground.

The vampire writhed beneath Alan like a dying animal. It rolled off of Edgar, onto it's back as it crushed Alan into the dirt.

Alan was quick on his feet. New plan.

"Edgar," he called out, tossing the stake to the mass that he assumed was his beaten brother. Alan wrapped his arms around the vampire's, acting like restraints and pinning him towards the ground. Edgar fumbled as he grabbed the stake, running over and plunging it right into the vampire's heart.

The whole chest of the being lurched forward as it's wails pierced the night sky. Alan threw the thing off of him as blood spewed from the hole in it's chest. It rolled around the pavement, scraping it's face against the pavement as it cried out in pain. Finally, it stopped moving and laid there. The mouth was still open, waiting to bite, waiting to kill.

Alan and Edgar stood over the body. Alan was the first to speak.

"That is so fucking gross."

Edgar nodded. He looked up and ran inside, turning on the light in the storage room. "Alan, come here."

Alan took one last look at the body and began walking. His right leg gave out after one step, and he stumbled the rest of the way into the room. "You get bitten?" Edgar asked calmly. In the light, Edgar looked like hell. His face was scraped lightly from hitting the pavement. Both his plaid shirt and white t-shirt underneath were torn and stained with the vampire's blood. He had a bloody nose, Alan assumed that came from the vampire and he falling on Edgar's face.

"No. You?"

Edgar shook his head. His brother's right shoulder was bleeding, he assumed that it was the arm he used to break in the window. The glass had also scraped his neck and ripped the sleeve of his military jacket. His lip was cut and bleeding and his face was bruised.

"I'm cool."

Alan shrugged. "Ready to open the store?"

"Absolutely," he said assertively. Snapping once, he went over to the drawer on their desk where they kept the finances. "Forgot I put the key in here…thought I'd…remember," he didn't dare look at Alan, knowing what fate was to await him. He remained in charge, authoritative. "Of course, I did remember."

Alan limped into the store front to open the front doors. When he could once again walk efficiently, he was going to make sure Edgar never lost the key.

Ever again.