AN: This was originally a one-shot but instead I've split it into parts. I don't really know what to say about it up here that won't spoil it... So yeah, I hope you enjoy it, and I'll be really interested to see what you all think of it. Any opinions (Including constructive criticism) are much appreciated! ^_^

EDIT: revised 13/1/11 to incorporate (much needed) feedback. Again, if you could tell me what you think to it, and if you've got any suggestions on how to improve it, I would really like to know. This isn't my style of writing and I'd really like to improve. Thanks everyone!

Disclaimer: Don't own ToS, so please don't sue me.

True to his word, the ceremony Yuan and his renegades had organised was a sombre, elegant affair that suited the man in question perfectly. The renegades bore a neatly polished casket of dark wood towards where Martel tended to the new tree, nine solemn, black-clad figures following behind, all maintaining a respectful silence.

Of the group of mourners, Lloyd had taken the lead, Colette and Genis faithfully flanking their childhood friend so closely that all three were interlinked. Zelos and Sheena marched behind, their eyes downcast, as Regal and Presea's heads were respectfully bowed as they followed the ninja and the Chosen. Yuan and Raine were at the back of the procession, Raine absorbed in thought while the leader of the renegades wore an impassive mask in the place of his features, though he was unable to control the shaking of his hands despite clenching them into fists.

He looked up towards the coffin, his stony mask beginning to crumble with the fresh realisation of who was within. He bit down on his lip, gasping as he tasted blood. Raine squeezed his arm, offering support, but he jerked it away.

He didn't deserve her kindness. He hadn't been able to save him, hadn't been there when he was needed most. All in all, he had failed in his duty, not just as a friend, but as family. Because that was what they'd been, hadn't they? That was what Mithos, while he had kept a tenuous hold on his sanity, had said, wasn't it? They were a family then, the three of them – all they really had.

His glass walls may have been re-erected, but as the procession halted, Yuan's eyes glazed over when he stepped into what was to be his final resting place. Raine looked up at him in concern, but he didn't notice, as he was overcome by memories of him.

A clod of icy snow collided with the back of his head, sliding down his neck to leave a trail of biting cold and what was sure to soon be a very wet back. Laughter erupted from behind him as he whirled around to glare at the half-elven mastermind of snowball assaults: Mithos Yggdrasil.

Instead, his eyes widened in surprise as he registered the laugh and the sight of a much larger figure than Mithos, who Yuan felt had an unfair advantage in snowball warfare considering he had recently won the pact with Celsius.

"Why you little-"

Kratos Aurion merely lobbed another half-hearted snowball, which sailed harmlessly past Yuan's shoulder as he re-intensified his glare on the human swordsman.

"I'm sorry, Yuan," the human finally managed to say, once he'd controlled his laughter. "You're just such an easy target!"

"I am not!" he defended in mock offense. He bent down to scoop up snow. "Oh, it is ON!"

A quick snowball fight ensued, concluding without a clear winner as Yuan tackled his best friend to the crisp, white ground, both immersed in laughter.

The conversation didn't pick up as the laughter died down, both men lapsing into a comfortable silence until it was broken by Kratos.

"You were thinking about her." It wasn't a question; it was a statement. Kratos knew him well enough now that he didn't really have to guess.

"Yeah," Yuan admitted.

There was another pause.

"I still prefer the Torrent Forest," the human revealed. "But I would place Flanoir a close second."

Yuan raised an eyebrow, challengingly. "Are you hinting something?"

"I might be," Kratos responded with a smile that answered the question more than his words.

Yuan gave him a light push to the side, to which he chuckled, rolling over to spread his arms and legs as if he was making a snow angel.

"Snow angel?" Yuan offered.

The human sat up, staring at something in the distance. His expression blanked for a moment, before a small, wry smile was visible under the auburn hair his black hat had pushed down into his eyes. He shook his head irritably then turned his face back towards the puzzled half-elf and awarded him a dazzling smile.

"Together?" he proposed.

Both fell back into the snow, arms and legs waving frantically. Yuan finished first, expertly pulling himself into a crouch, arms outstretched, to rise from the snow without demolishing his snowy creation, before offering his human companion a helping hand, which the latter begrudgingly accepted.

In unison, the pair stepped back to admire their masterpieces. There was a silence before:

"Mine's bigger than yours," Yuan teased.

Kratos eyed the two snow angels critically. It wasn't. He shrugged. "Whatever helps you live with your inadequacies."

"I don't have inadequacies," Yuan corrected with a smirk. "I'm obviously perfect in every way."

"Oh?" Kratos responded, raising one eyebrow mockingly. "So it isn't that you're struggling to pluck up the courage to propose to Martel then?"

Yuan's cheeks flushed deep red.

Kratos noticed. It was his turn to wear the smirk now. "Come on; out with it! Let me in on your master plan."

Flustered, Yuan tucked as much of his hair behind his ear as he could, despite the fact that most of it just fell back into his face immediately afterwards. "I-it's a secret," he stammered, tapping the side of his nose in a way that he hoped made him seem more in control that he was.

Kratos didn't buy it. Both eyebrows were raised as Yuan averted his gaze away from the human's sharp yet amused eyes. Then the swordsman's expression softened and he smiled.

"Just ask her," he said with a sigh. A devious smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as he added, "Before Mithos finds out and throws a hissy fit."

"Martel can deal with it," Yuan mused with a shiver.

Kratos queried, "With what?"

"Mithos," Yuan answered simply. He paused, then nudged his companion's shoulder. "You'll be my best man, right?"

"If you're quick enough," the human replied. "If left to your own devices, I'll be dead by the time you ask her."

The half-elf studied the human, who was now watching the sun disappear from the horizon, bleeding orange hues into the darkening sky, his expression unreadable.

"Then I'll ask her," he stated firmly. "I'll ask her tomorrow. I'll take her to the balcony by the church she likes so much and I'll ask her there."

"Do you think you can hold on to that enthusiasm until we next visit Meltokio?" Kratos uttered, a contented smile visible on his face, though his eyes didn't leave the sky.

Yuan frowned. "Huh? Why?"

Kratos turned to face him, the smile truly lighting up his face now, his eyes soft and loving, an expression that, on Kratos, never failed to bring a smile to his own face, and didn't disappoint now.

"You just asked if I would be your best man," he explained. "I wouldn't be much of a best man if I allowed you to propose to Martel without a ring now, would I?"

"Why Meltokio though?" Yuan quizzed, pondering.

Kratos laughed and tapped the side of his nose as Yuan himself had earlier in their conversation. "It's a surprise. Just leave the ring up to me."

Yuan had. His hand automatically sought comfort in his pocket, fingers clenching around the circular object they found within as if it was his only lifeline. The ring. The ring Kratos had painstakingly forged in his father's shop in Meltokio for him to give to Martel.

That did it. Yuan bit down on his tortured lip again but this time, as the blood came, so did the tears that he just couldn't hold back any longer. That ring was now as much a link to his lost fiancée as it was to the best friend he would ever have, lost through his own failure. As beautiful as it was, it was now nothing more than a reminder of what he had lost.

Kratos had worked so hard on it. It had meant so much to the human. Yuan had seen it in his eyes, when the finished article had been presented to him after a week of his best friend's absence.

And now he would never see those eyes again.

And he was the one to blame.

When Raine started to rub circles on his upper arm, he did not push her away. He was too numb to even feel her.

Hers weren't the fingers he could feel. They were his, desperately clutching at his arm as he fell into his arms. Raine wasn't the one whose hand dropped away from him. It was Kratos. It was always Kratos.

His black-clad Renegades started to lower the casket into the earth, his best friend making his descent into the eternal rest that had eluded them both for so long, making his escape from Yuan's vision.

Fresh realisation of a reality alone hit the half-elf as Zelos stepped forwards. He screwed his eyes closed as if by blocking out his view of his best friend's funeral, he could block out that reality without him. He took a gasping breath through a sob and an unsteady step backwards, followed by another.

He couldn't do this. He wanted to run, to leave this impossible scene in his nightmares, where it belonged. Because that's what it was, wasn't it? It had to be nightmare. It just had to be. There was no way Kratos could be dead, especially not because Yuan had failed him. Yuan would never fail him. He'd promised he'd always be there to catch the human and he didn't go back on his word.

His entire body quivered, his arms tingling with the memory of sensation, the memory of holding his best friend's body close, so close to his that he had felt the last beat of his heart, close enough to feel his last breath and to hear the word it carried with it, and the unnatural silence that followed. The emptiness.

He couldn't deal with this. He turned his back on the spectacle, staggering another step, clutching at his chest, where his own heart beat erratically as if to compensate for the lack of movement from his friend's.

Arms encircled him, the soothing voice of Raine whispering into his hair. His eyes snapped open, his body jerking away from hers. Hers weren't the arms he wanted around him. Hers wasn't the voice he wanted to hear. What right did she have to tell him it would be alright? It wouldn't and she had no right! None at all! He growled, blinking furiously at the tears, trying to clear his vision enough to see her when he asked her how she could dare to make light of Kratos' death.

Instead, he saw Lloyd, watching him in silence over Genis' head, rivers of grief flowing down his face but determination burning in his eyes. His deep, despairing, almond eyes.

The eyes that had stared up into his; soft, sad and fearful, all masks discarded and the affection for his best friend shining through the regrets. The eyes that were still open onto the world in death, that didn't want to close but had, because of Yuan. Because Yuan had hesitated as the life bled from those eyes, as the light left them and they dulled into the harsh, blank reality of mortality.

Kratos' eyes.

The eyes he would never look into again.

AN: Not too angsty I hope... But yeah, this was originally a one-shot but I've decided to split it into parts to show each character's memory of Kratos a little more clearly. Yuan's was a particularly hard section to write 'cause of the number of years I could've chosen an event from... But I hope you liked what I chose.

Next chapter is Lloyd's.

Thanks for reading!

And please review! I need feedback!