A/N: It's FINISHED! Hope this is a satisfying ending. The dream is Jenny reliving what she went through between losing her baby and Becoming Director.

Hope you like!

Sarah x

Four hours after their last fight, both Jenny and Gibbs were still at NCIS Headquarters. Gibbs was looking for a lead in the Moir and McRae case, just for something to take his mind off the fighting.

Jenny had fallen asleep on the sofa in her office. She never knew that all that fighting would wear her down so much.

Gibbs sighed and shut down his computer. He crept up the stairs to Jenny's office. He found her sleeping form stretched across one of the side of the corner sofa. Gibbs sat down next to her head. He looked down at her face. He had forgotten how much more peaceful Jenny looked when she slept.

"I wish we could stop fighting," Gibbs told her. He knew she couldn't hear him. He wished she could.

Gibbs smiled slightly as Jenny unconsciously moved closer to him, resting her head on his leg. Did she know he was there even when she was totally out of it?

"I know I've hurt Ziva. I also know that us fighting won't change that. I understand why you didn't tell me about the miscarriage. You were scared, and hurt. I get it now, Jen."

Jenny turned her head back and forth. She was having a nightmare. Gibbs had watched her have one before.

In Jenny's mind, she saw a memory.

She was thirty-two years old. She was lying in a French hospital bed with a tight bandage across her body. It was covering a gunshot wound just beneath her rib cage. She was aware of what had happened. She had lost her child.

Her vision blurred as it fast forwarded to another memory, a day later. She was drunk. She was hitting Gibbs hard across his face. He had done nothing wrong. She knew that.

She was leaving a plane at Glasgow Airport, and was looking back as she rushed towards to exit of the craft to catch the connecting flight to DC. She was watching Gibbs pick up her coat, and pull out the letter from the pocket. She looked away.

Now she was taking a knife to her arms. She was bruising it deep into her skin. It was comforting that she was in pain at the same time as Jethro.

Her mind accelerated towards another unpleasant memory. She was sitting on the bathroom floor in Ziva's apartment in Tel Aviv with her gun pointed to her temple. She heard Ziva's soft Hebrew voice telling her that she had enough to live for. That she shouldn't do it. She was reluctantly putting the weapon down. She was struggling with the lock on the door. She was falling onto Ziva, who was catching her as she fell. She was lying with Ziva's arms around her body as she cried herself to sleep.

Gibbs gently pulled the pins from Jenny's hair and stroked her forehead with the back of his hand. "Ssh, Jen. It's OK. I promise," Gibbs whispered.

"I wanna go find him," she muttered restlessly. "I need him…Ziva…"

Gibbs watched her strangely. He never expected that to come out of her mouth. It was a broken whisper. A sound he had never heard come from her. Jenny had tears running down her face as she whispered and twisted in her uneasy sleep. "Please…"

Gibbs couldn't watch anymore. He gently shook Jenny arm. "Wake up, Jenny. Wake up, come on."

Her eyes opened suddenly. She looked up at Gibbs. What was she doing with her head on his thigh? She inconspicuously felt her face as she pushed her hair back. It was wet; she'd been crying. "What's going on?"

"You were…sleeping," he told her.

"What else?" She knew what she had remembered, what she had relived. She just hoped that she hadn't talked as much as Ziva informed her that she did. She sighed. "What did I say?"

"'I need him…' and 'I wanna go find him.'" She eyed him suspiciously. "That's it. I swear."

"So nothing about guns or Ziva taking one off me or anything?" she asked. She was sure she'd been sitting on the floor with a gun.

"You really wanted to kill yourself, Jen?" Gibbs wondered gently. He always thought her as so strong.

"It's in the past. Everything is. I'm going back to sleep." It was a string of simple statements. She put her head back down on his lap and smiled. She fell asleep knowing he was there.

Gibbs leaned down and kissed her forehead as she slept. "I love you, Jenny," he said quietly.

Jenny spoke in her sleep an automatic reply, "I love you, too, Jethro." Even in unconsciousness she remembered it was true. They loved each other, no matter how much they screamed, shouted and fought with each other.

Hope you enjoyed the story!

Please review!

Sarah x