Disclaimer: Don't own. Usual disclaimers apply.

A Hunter's Tale or How Did We Get from Here to There

By Colleen

Chapter 11

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' ~Rodney Dangerfield

Buffy flopped down on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. It was good to be home. Oh, don't get her wrong, it was great spending some serious time with her dad. Not to mention the fact that she got to shop like crazy. But… LA wasn't her town anymore, wasn't her home.

And she'd missed her mom and her friends. Sure, she called Mom daily and talked to Willow a couple of times a week. There was even a "Hey" from Xander the few times he was in the room when Buffy called, but it wasn't the same as being here.

There was also a lot of missing Angel.

At least things seemed quiet with the Powers That Be stuff during the summer, if not the vampire stuff. Buffy had been ready to jump on the next bus back when she heard what happened during Willow and Oz' date. Willow had calmed her down and told her to stay. The incident was over, they were safe and they would be much more careful in the future.

Buffy pulled her stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo, into her arms and gave him a hug. No unexpectedly, her friends being in danger reminded her of the couple of times she'd run into people she knew before she became the Slayer. Both times were awkward and she couldn't remember why she was ever friends with them. It also brought home to her how lucky she was to find the friends she had now.

And speaking, or rather thinking of friends… Buffy reached out, snagged her phone and punched in Willow's number. She had to find out what the first few days of school were like and it would be much better if they could meet up face to face to gossip…er, talk about it.

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"Mom." Buffy called out.

With a muffled sound of annoyance, Joyce missed the nail she was hammering and drove the tool into the wall.

Buffy cringed at the hole it made.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Her mom just shook her head at the damage. "Don't worry about it. I guess I just got use to all the quiet while you were gone." She looked at her daughter. "I hated it, by the way."

Buffy smiled at her. "Nice to know." She slipped into the sweater she'd picked up from her room. "I'll be back by supper time."

Her mom hung up a carved wooden mask, covering the hole in the wall. "I could drive you, if you want."

Buffy mulled that over for a second and then shook her head. "Nah, I'll be good."

They both looked at the mask her mom had hung. "What do you think?"

Her mother's gaze was appreciative.

Buffy grimaced slightly. "The model was having a bad day?" Her mom gave her a look and she shrugged. "He just looks really angry."

Her mom tiled her head and admired it. "Well, I like it."

Buffy made a non committal agreeing noise. She hoped her mom wouldn't decide to hang any similar pieces in her room. She'd end up having to hide the things in her closet every night if that happened.

"Dinner will be at six."

Buffy nodded and headed out.

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Buffy met Willow at the Espresso Pump. They got sugared up on mochas as they discussed their summers in more detail than they had on the phone. Buffy was impressed with what her friend was learning magic wise. Willow was shocked to hear about Buffy ending up in a hell dimension the day before heading back home. Naturally, they also discussed vampires. In LA, Buffy took out three of them just by attending parties with her dad and his girlfriend. In Sunnydale, Willow and Oz teamed up with Xander to patrol, taking out five fledglings and one older vampire, and that didn't count the two Oz took out when they got jumped walking back from the theatre.

"And Giles worked Xander like a dog. He'll be overjoyed to see you, if just to give Giles someone else to torment."

"Well, unlike me, he could tell Giles no."

"Yeah, but I don't think he's willing to be a quitter." Willow frowned. "Left Hand said something about Xander being stubborn enough to be a match for D, eventually."

Buffy took a sip of her drink. "Have you ever tracked down where the D character came from?"

Willow frowned. "Sort of. Xander said the costume was designed for a movie someone was pitching. Oz told me the character is from a Japanese series of books and the only thing you can get hold of here is a cartoon of the first book."

"A cartoon?"

"Yeah, only Oz called it anime."

"So, have you seen it?"

Willow shook her head. "I saw it at the video store, back when we first found out about Xander, but it had a seventeen and over sticker on it."

Buffy smiled. "Which we now are."

"True."

Buffy's smile turned just the littlest bit wicked. "So, how about this weekend, us, that movie, a lot of popcorn and just a little bit of embarrassing Xander."

"That's completely evil." Willow said, looking concerned. Then she smiled, her expression matching Buffy's. "Let's do it."

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School the next day. Buffy got her schedule from the office and her annual "I'm watching you" warning from Snyder. She had the feeling he'd hoped she wouldn't make it back at all this year. That was okay though, she'd hoped the same about him.

Same old same old. She was actually glad to report to Giles at the end of classes.

"Ah, Buffy. How were Los Angeles … and your father?"

"I'm sure it was better than Mexico." Cordelia said from her seat at the reading table.

Buffy didn't even bother to give her a look. "My dad's good. His latest girlfriend's… not great, but better than the last one. LA is… LA. It's just a little too much of everything. I'm glad to be back."

Cordelia shook her head at Buffy's statement, but didn't say anything.

Xander and Willow came in. "So, we're doing a movie night this Saturday, at Buffy's?"

Willow nodded to Xander's question. "Yep, we thought we'd do an 'everyone's back' get together. You, me, Buffy, Oz, Cordelia."

"You're invited too Giles." Buffy added. She hesitated slightly and then plunged on. "You can bring Ms. Calendar, if you want."

"Ah, well. It sounds rather like…"

"Come on Giles, live a little. Besides, it would be nice for my mom to have some adult company now and again."

"Oh, yes, well, when you put it like that. I'd be glad to come. I'll have to check with Jenny to see if she's free that night."

"Okay."

Xander's expression was pained. "Hate to ask and don't hit me, but does Angel also have an invite?"

"I don't know yet. I'm going to visit him tonight… I'll see how that goes first."

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When Buffy arrived home, she noticed a woman she didn't know leaving the house. The woman looked at her and smiled.

"You must be Buffy! Look at you. Aren't you a picture?

"Ah, thank you?"

"Oh, I'm Pat, from your mom's book club." She offered her hand and Buffy shook it.

"Oh, I didn't know she had joined one."

"Ah, well, she was trying to keep busy while you were gone for the summer. Anyway, I need to be off. My Spanish class is making empanadas."

Buffy gave Pat a little wave as she left and turned back toward the house. It looked like her mom was hanging out with more adults than she knew.

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Her mom was actually happy about everyone coming over on Saturday. Buffy thought she'd have to do a little begging and pleading. Joyce was going to invite the lady she knew from the book club as well and lay in a little wine for the adult portion of the get together.

Buffy left her happily planning a finger food menu and went out to see Angel.

She ran patrols through a couple of the twelve cemeteries in Sunnydale on her way to Angel's apartment. The first one netted her a just rising fledgling that she easily dispatched. The next…

Buffy flipped over a tombstone as she was backhanded by one of the three laughing vampires in front of her.

Three idiots.

"The little girl wants to play with the big boys."

"This little girl will now beat you unconscious before staking you." She said as she stood back up and stepped around the grave marker to stand in front of them again.

They laughed. The one in the middle patted his stomach. "Right here, I'll give you one free shot."

Buffy smiled. "Thanks," she said, her leg whipping out in a perfect side kick. This time the vampire went flying over a tombstone while the other two looked at her in shock.

"You guys aren't very bright, are you?"

"I think they're from out of town."

All of them, except the vampire lying behind a tombstone, turned towards the voice. An attractive dark haired guy dressed in a black leather jacket looked back as he leaned up against a nearby tree.

"Angel!"

"Hey Buff, need any help?"

"Well, sure. Don't want to be at this all night."

The two standing vampires looked at each other for a moment and pondered the merits of running. They proved just how not bright they were when they opted to stay.

And less than a minute later, they and their injured companion were nothing more than dust in the wind.

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"So, you're looking good." Angel told her. "LA must have agreed with you."

"I'm not sure it ever agreed with me, but we didn't get into any serious arguments." She paused in thought for a moment. "Have you ever lived there? I mean, you've been around some, so…"

Angel winced. "Yeah, I did, off and on." He shook his head. "It wasn't a good time. Vegas was better."

"Ah." Buffy stared at her shoes for a bit. "So, I was just coming to see you."

"Glad I caught you then. I moved."

She looked up in surprise. "Oh! Where?"

"That old mansion, the one we took Acathla to. Seemed silly to pay rent when the place is just sitting there." He gave her a half smile. "There's a lot of room up there. Plenty if you want to do some extra training or sparing."

She smiled back at him a little crookedly. "That would be good." Her smile faltered. "Why is this so difficult?"

Angel shrugged. "Maybe because we know that being anything more than friends would be a bad idea and some sort of higher power was intending for you to stab me and shove me through a portal to hell."

Buffy nodded. "Well, yeah, that could be why."

"So, want some company on patrol?"

Buffy nodded again. "Yeah."

They started walking through the cemetery. "By the way." Buffy asked. "How do you feel about movie nights?"

"The theatre?"

"Ah, I was thinking my place, videos. Everyone else will be there as well."

Angel shook his head. "It sounds like something you should do with the gang, but I don't think I'd fit in." Noticing she was about to protest he continued. "I would really like to go to the movies some night with you though, if you'd like."

Buffy had to smile. "Yeah, I'd like."

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The next morning, Buffy's mom heard a meowing at the basement stairs. She opened the door and flipped on the light. "Hey kitty, how did you end up…?" Then the smell hit her.

The very dead cat hissed at her and took off. "Buffy!"

Joyce chased it. Out of the kitchen, into the hall. She stopped as it made its way up the steps to the second floor. "Buffy!" She called again before following the cat.

Buffy was just coming out of the bathroom. "I'm up, I'm… whoa."

The cat dashed by her and ran into her mom's room. Buffy screwed her face up as she caught a whiff of it.

"Oh man, it smells like it died."

"I think it may have."

"Mom?"

"It was in the basement… Is there such a thing as a zombie cat?"

Buffy just shrugged.

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Giles was contemplating what to have for breakfast when his phone rang.

"Ah, Buffy. Good morning." He listened for a moment. "A dead cat, under your mother's bed. I'm not sure how I can help." He listened a little more. "Oh, a dead but still moving and hissing zombie cat under your mother's bed. I'll be right there."

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Giles picked up the cat from Buffy's place, stuffing the thing into a small cage he kept for emergencies. The mask Joyce had hung up the day before caught his attention and he discussed it with her, before taking the small hissing zombie creature back to the library for a little research.

"You called us in oh mighty Watcher man?" Xander walked in through the library doors and stopped dead. He slapped a hand over his mouth and nose. "Whoa, Giles… What is that?"

"Zombie cat." Cordelia supplied. She, Willow and Oz were all standing at a variety of distances from the ratty thing in a cage that sat on the reading table.

Xander gave Oz a sympathetic glance. Being a werewolf, his sense of smell was probably better than Xander's, which was already well above human norms. Xander lowered his hand but his face remained scrunched up in disgust. "Giles?"

The librarian looked up from the book he was reading. "It was at Buffy's place. We think the cat is a stray that managed to get into the basement and died down there."

"And the zombie bit?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"Well, I don't think I want to get much closer, but if someone will pass me a book I'll help.

Several hours later, the teens were packing it in and preparing to leave.

"Giles, earth to Giles?"

The Watcher sighed. "Yes Xander?"

"We're heading over to Buffy's. You, come, too." Xander made walkie movements with his fingers. "It's dead Giles. Even if it can move, it isn't going anywhere. We can continue this tomorrow."

"Yes, yes." Giles picked up another book and frowned at it. "You children should go. I'm just going to check a couple of more references."

"Giles." Xander's voice clearly conveyed the message that the librarian was not going to wheedle out of movie night.

"I'll be there. Oh, and could you let Jenny know when she gets there that I'll be a little bit late?"

Xander winced. Wouldn't that be fun? "Okay, but if you don't show up she will probably hunt you down and hurt you."

"No doubt and I wouldn't blame her. So don't worry, I'll be there."

"Alright."

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They figured on ordering in some pizza, but Buffy's mom went overboard on the finger food and there was enough of that and other snacks to keep them grazing all evening.

Mrs. Summers introduced her friend Pat to everyone, before the two of them headed off to the kitchen to chat and have a glass of wine. They left instructions for the kids to send the other adults in to them once they arrived.

"Well," Willow said. "Your mom's friend seems really nice and peppy."

"Yeah." Buffy looked at her friend, who nodded to the unasked question.

"I'll have her entire life printed out for you by Monday morning."

"Thanks." After Ted, she wasn't taking any chances.

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Ms. Calendar arrived and it was as awkward as Xander expected it to be. She and Buffy still weren't comfortable with each other and although she could have gone to the kitchen with the other ladies, Xander suspected she would be just as uncomfortable with Buffy's mom. She had obviously been expecting Giles to be a buffer between her and the Summers' women.

He watched the teacher stand and fidget by the chip dip, while Buffy sat on the couch and threw the teacher looks and fidgeted with the TV remote. Xander's left hand gave a snort and summed the situation up.

"He better get his ass over here, or somebody will end up handing it to him."

Truer words.

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Giles really was going to call it a night, when he turned the page of a book he thought he'd already looked at and found what he was searching for.

"Oh, Lord!"

He dropped the book and dove for the telephone.

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In an attempt to shake off the building tension, Willow dragged Buffy up by the television so they could introduce the night's entertainment.

After a round of, "You do it." "No you do it." Buffy addressed the room.

"Okay, we're planning to do a couple of movies tonight, if not more. The second one we'll vote on, but the first one is an extra special event." She looked at Willow who held up a video box.

"Vampire Hunter D."

"Oh, no."

Buffy and Willow both smiled evilly as they realized that Xander and Left Hand had spoken together.

"You wouldn't." Xander said, his voice edged with pleading.

The girl's smiles got worse.

Xander nodded. "You would." This would not end well. When they found out about his dhampire problem the interrogation by the group was thorough, however they never thought to ask for the name of D's father. When he told them he was known as the Ancient Ancestor, they'd accepted it as the whole of the answer, much to Xander's relief. Back then, even just thinking about who D's father was made him want to a nice dark hole to hide in. And if he felt that way, well… he didn't want to see how everyone else would react. The one exception of course was Oz. He had seen the movie before that Halloween. Xander also straight out told him, so he knew what he was getting into with the werewolf manual.

And there were other things in the movie that could be... Embarrassing.

"Okay, if you're going to do this then may I at least say a few words in my defence?"

"Oh, I don't know. What do you think Buffy?"

"Well…."

The phone chose that moment to ring.

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"Giles, why aren't you here …. Oh. Okay." Buffy's mom came out of the kitchen and looked quizzically at her daughter who was on the phone.

"Destroy the eyes, but don't look directly into them." Now her mom looked worried. "If it still holds a physical form after that, then break it. Gotch ya. Should we wait until you get here? Okay, we'll deal."

Buffy hung up and looked at her mom. "The mask in your room raises the dead and if we don't destroy it very soon we'll probably end up in the middle of a zombie attack."

Her mom opened her mouth, certain that she had something to say to that, then realized she couldn't possibly come up with anything.

After a second she managed, "I'll keep Pat in the kitchen."

Buffy nodded, gave her a smile, then charged up the stairs to her mom's room. Willow and Xander were right behind her.

"You guys should probably stay out here."

They both looked at her like she was nuts.

"Uh, uh. Nobody messes with our movie night. Not even a mask that can raise the dead." Xander told her.

"Besides," Willow said. "If you can't look into its eyes you might need extra help."

"Speaking of." Xander pulled out two of the rough wooden needles he used on vampires. "These might just do the job of destroying the eyes." He handed them to Buffy.

She took a deep breath. "Okay then, let's do it."

While Giles raced to Buffy's place and had a few misadventures with the zombies already wandering the streets Buffy, Xander and Willow moved carefully into Mrs. Summers' bedroom. All of them kept their eyes on the floor, though they could tell the red tinge to the rooms lighting wasn't natural. A quick glance from the corner of their eyes showed the mask's eyes glowing with a crimson radiance.

"So I guess we just shuffle over there and Buffy can stab at it." Xander said.

"Seems almost anticlimactic."

Crashing sounds and screams came from below.

"You had to say that, didn't you Buffy?" Xander stopped her from heading towards the noise. "I'll go; you take care of that mask."

Xander was already out the door before she could argue. He jumped the length of the stairs (again) and pulled out another wooden needle, tossing it at a zombie that was attacking Oz. The dead thing stopped, looked at the piece of wood jutting out of it's chest like it couldn't figure out were it came from, then turned its attention towards Xander. At the same time, crashing noises came from the kitchen and Mrs. Summers and her friend Pat came running into the living room.

Xander grabbed the zombie approaching him and threw it out the already broken living room window. "I swear, I am getting my own sword and I'm not leaving the house after dark without it."

The zombie that crashed its way into the kitchen staggered out into the living room and Oz, growling low in his throat took a swipe at it. Given that he managed to cut about half way through the things neck with that one move told Xander the musician was channelling his inner werewolf. He just hoped Oz could hold the change to that point. Explaining him going fuzzy on top of everything else wasn't something he wanted to do.

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Meanwhile, upstairs. "Okay, we just stab it in the eyes without looking directly into them." Buffy said.

"Right," Willow agreed. "We just go over there without look…" Willow froze.

"Willow?"

She didn't say anything. Buffy wasn't even sure Willow was breathing. She grabbed her friend and spun her around, so she was facing away from the mask.

Willow started breathing again with a gasp. "Really don't look into its eyes."

"Eyes on our shoes."

"Gotcha."

In a position that appeared almost humble the two girls carefully moved to the mask.

"Close your eyes Willow." Buffy said while she did the same. She reached out and touched the mask, recoiling for a moment. The thing was vile. It was wood, but it felt dead and bloated. Grimacing she touched it again, feeling along its surface until she found the eyeholes. Then she jammed the needles into them. Something made a very angry sound and a flash of light lit the room. It was so bright Willow and Buffy were momentarily blinded, even with their eyes shut.

The whole time they were up there, the two girls could hear the sounds of fighting coming from below. As soon as the needles went in, there was complete silence.

"Okay Willow, I'm going to open my eyes. If I don't say something in the next few seconds, spin me around."

Eyes shut tight Willow nodded and added in a verbal, "Okay."

Buffy opened her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "We're good."

Willow also opened her eyes. The wall where the mask had hung was empty except for two wooden needles sticking out of it. They made a nice complement to the hole the hammer made previously.

When Buffy stabbed the mask, Xander was throwing a punch at a zombie that was climbing back into the house through the broken living room window. He staggered, just barely managing to catch himself from going through the window as all of the zombies winked out of existence.

As he looked around the room Cordelia, Ms. Calendar and Mrs. Summers all lowered their makeshift weapons. Oz dropped directly into a lotus position, attempting to calm himself down and Pat came up from behind a couch, looking around.

"What happened? Who were those…those…?"

Buffy's mom sighed, not quite believing she was going to say this. "Gang members."

Pat looked at her confused. "What?"

Joyce nodded. "Gang members on PCP."

Ms. Calendar put down the fire poker she had been holding. "They attacked the school last year. Even killed some people."

Pat's eyes almost crossed as she dredged up the memory of that news bite. Sunnydale Syndrome was alive and well. "Oh, yes. I'd heard about it." She looked around at the ruined living room. "You just never expect it too happen to you. I suppose we should call the police?"

Everyone else looked at each other glumly. It looked like they would have to.

Giles arrived well before the police. While they waited, they quietly worked on their cover stories. As it turned out, they needn't have bothered. Zombie attacks had occurred all over town and the Sunnydale PD was very happy to agree with them about it having been gang members on PCP.

Pat cheerfully helped them clean up and they even managed to scrounge up enough wood and cardboard to cover over the broken windows until something could be done about them. Once everything was straightened up as much as possible, Giles gave Pat a ride home, returning a short while later to find everyone else collapsed onto chairs and couches. Giles took a seat himself, contemplating going to sleep right there.

Buffy apparently had other ideas.

"So, you wanted to say something in your defence?" She asked Xander.

"Pardon?"

"Before we watch the movie."

Xander groaned. He'd forgotten about that. "Don't you think we're all too tired…"

"Nope, like you said, nobody messes with our movie night. We have to watch at least one of them."

He looked at everyone, who despite their weariness appeared interested in the movie. He slumped.

"It had to happen sometime kid."

Buffy's mom looked around for the voice made Xander realize that she was still out of the loop on a few things about them. She knew about the Slayer and the Watcher bit, but she didn't know about Left Hand, or that Xander himself was a dhampire, or that Oz was a werewolf or that Willow was a novice witch.

They'd have to fix that, sooner rather than later.

"Okay. In my defence, what really happened and what's in the movie do not match up perfectly. Some of it is the same, some of it isn't. For example, Doris was a brunette who was a sensible enough woman that she usually wore jeans and button up shirts, or at the very least cut offs and a tee shirt while working on the farm. The character in the movie is blonde and while what she wears is delightful, it is also impractical." Of course, he wasn't going to mention that in his memories, the first time D met Doris, Doris had used her quite simply amazing body and complete nudity as an element of surprise.

"There's also other things I never told you… and I'll let you yell at me about them after the film."

Buffy smiled evilly at him, slotted the movie in and started it up before sitting down next to her mother.

Xander just hoped everyone would still be talking to him the next day.