I missed her

I wanted to tell her bye. I should have told her bye but my mind and heart told me to just go.

I wonder if she cared or if she even noticed that I had left

Of course not Damon, she probably is glad that I left

No her and Stefan can have the perfect teenage romance that she so desperately wanted

One day she would notice that she can and will do better than what is Stefan is offering. That she is not some little girl that needs someone to hold her hands when things get difficult. She has this spark in her that is dying to come out. I had seen it a few times during our moments of banter or even when she tries to glare at me but the signs of a slight smile tug at the corners of her lips instead. One day it is going to burst through her shell and consume her entirely. She always said we have an understanding but I can't understand how she manages to hide who she is because it feels safer. I can't understand how she pushes and strangles her inner beauty for the likes of Stefan.

I would have stayed by her side to the end of time just to catch another glimpse of it. Eternity would be pleasant enough just to witness her unraveling at the core.

But I couldn't punish myself any longer

I couldn't watch her love another even if it is my brother. I should be happy for them, well her. But I couldn't stand the sickness in my stomach when they kissed; they laughed at each other jokes, the way that they can sit silently on the couch and just are content with each other's presence or the false hope that made my heart flutter when I had entered the room and see her heart beat rapidly only to turn around and see Stefan behind me. I couldn't torture myself anymore because I figured that maybe just maybe love would welcome me with open arms and not enslave me to loneliness for the rest of eternity. My karma has finally caught up to me just to bite me in the ass. Fate played me a shitty hand but I am glad for one thing….

Elena was in it

I will always love as I will always miss her

But the heart must let the pain go to heal

And I must let her go