So. I started writing a fic, got to three whole pages, then realized that it was going nowhere, with no plot, no kisses, and no life. It drove me insane. So I came up with this little plot bunny on the way home to sooth my raging imagination. Hopefully one day I'll find a place to go with that fic, and it won't totally suck.

I know for a fact that I dislike the title, but I'm sticking with it because I already used up all my imagination credits today, and I don't feel like thinking up a new one. :]P

Claimer: I own a cell phone, an imagination, a – wait? You just wanted to know what I don't own? Fine.

Disclaimer: I don't' own X-Men Evo, sadly :[ but I've got my imagination! :]

Conversation

What do you do when you need to ask someone something when they're across the house? Why, you use your handy-dandy cell phone to call them, of course!

I picked up the cordless phone – why waste cell phone credit when you can put it on someone else's phone bill? – and started dialing. And then noticed that there were already voices coming from the receiver.

Cautiously, I placed the phone to my head, hoping it wasn't Kitty and Lance or some other grossly in love couple saying disgusting mushy-gushy stuff. Last time, it'd been Rogue and Remy, and well…. Very disturbing, I will admit, but very good for blackmail material.

It was with a flood of relief that I found it was Jubilee, talking to her mom. Pretty harmless right?

Right.

So I flopped back on my bed and prepared to listen to a ton of boring, subdued recounts of our awesome bad-guy butt-kicking skills.

"So any cute boys at your school?"

Apparently, they'd already covered the boring stuff. Hmm….

"Ma!" Jubilee whined, embarrassed. I grinned. "No!"

Which meant… yes? Man, I'm good at this whole reading-a-girl's-tone-of-voice-to-tell-what-she -actually-means thing. Oh, yeah, score one for Bobby.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Ma, I'm sure." Jubes droned, and I had to smirk, picturing the look that would be matched with it. "Positive."

"And what about that boy you're always talking about? Robert, or something?"

Wait – Jubes talked about me? With her mom? All the time? Whaaaa? No, it could be Roberto, but why should Jubes talk about him? Or me, for that matter?

"Ma! That's Bobby, and he's, like, my best friend."

I raised an eyebrow at Jubilee's use of the word 'like', though no one was there to see it. Jubilee never said 'like' randomly. Not like Kitty, anyways, who injected the word between every other 'OMG!' and 'totally!' But still. Jubes talked about me… with her mom… all the time? Uhm….?

"Okay, well, you know you can always talk to me."

"Ma!" I covered my mouth to keep from snickering out loud. No doubt Jubes looked mortified by the thought of talking to her mom about guys. "Okay, fine."

"I just don't want my baby to get hurt or anything."

"Ma. I'm not a baby. And I'm more the kind of girl who falls in love with book characters, or movie people. Or celebrities. Not people I actually know."

Hm. New information. That's not what I picked up on with all the 'Guys, did you see him? Totally drool-worthy!' comments. But that could just be me remembering something Tabby or Amara saying to her. Or just the normal girl-ness compelling her to spaz over some dude's hotness then forget him five minutes later. I dunno. Do I look like a girl expert?

"Like that werewolf guy? What's his name – Taylor Lautner?"

My eyebrows shot up into my hair.

"Are you kidding me? He's so last year. I'm all for Boo Boo Stewart now." Her tone made it hard to tell whether she was joking or not, but I felt a pang of jealousy hit me. Jeez, who would call their kid that? I mean Boo Boo Stewart. And Taylor Lawtner.

Her mom laughed. "Right. So not actual boys?"

"Yes, book and movie characters, celebrities. Not actual guys. Most of them are total idiots, and the others are taken. Or gay."

"Uh-huh. So what about Bobby?" My thoughts – thought-singular? Question? – exactly.

"He goes under the category of taken. And he's my best friend."

Uhhh….. ? Taken, I guess I can understand. So does that mean I'm not a total idiot?

"And a total idiot most of the time."

I resisted the urge to protest. How was I a total idiot? Wait – don't answer that. But at least I know for sure I'm not gay. But does that mean she likes me?

"Right, so no romantic connotations?"

"Ma!"

Taking that as a 'no', I felt oddly disappointed.

"Just checking." Mrs. Lee laughed, and Jubilee chuckled – nervously? – along with her. In the silence that followed, I heard yelling in – Chinese? – in the background. Let me tell you it didn't sound like all that 'ching-chong-chang' crap everyone always says. "Well, Jubilee, it was wonderful to talk to you again, but I've gotta go."

"'Kay, it was awesome talking to you too, Ma, and I think Logan's calling for a DR session now, so-"

"DR session?"

"I mean – training session. Gotta stay in shape!"

"Okay, well, have fun! And be careful!"

"Don't worry, Ma. I always am."

"Alright. Bye, honey."

"Love you Muhmuh!"

Muhmuh? Oh- Mama.

"Love you too. Bye!"

There was a click on the other end, but no second click. I was beginning to wonder what was going on when I heard muffled words.

"Book…. Movie char-ters, eh?" I strained to hear.

"Whoa! When did… get in here?" Jubilee exclaimed.

"…Been here… time, lass." That was Rahne speaking. "You… last time I checked… wa'n't a fictional person," she commented indifferently.

Who wasn't a fictional person? Who! I pressed the phone to my head trying to figure out who it was they were talking about.

"Shut up!" I yanked the phone about a foot away from my ear. Yup, heard that loud and clear.

"… and Jubesy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-"

Man! I missed it!"

"Gah! SHUT-IT!"

There was a slight rustling noise, like someone blowing into the phone, then a loud clatter, causing me to drop the phone altogether. Okay. Speakerphone time.

"Hah, Jubilee, a li'l hot under th' coller are ya?" Rahne teased. That was way better.

"Shut up! Don't even get me started on you and Sam!"

"Go ahead."

Wait – her and Sam – what? Since when was it 'her and Sam'? Country boy's got his head so far – Ohhhh. Her and Sam.

"Uhm…." I almost laughed out loud at Jubilee's failure to devise a witty retort to Rahne's challenge. "Whatever. Just lemme alone!"

"Right. You and boyfriend Bobby!"

"Shut up! We're just best friends. Best. Friends!"

"Sure. Hey, did you know th' phone's still-"

Click.

That was the sound of the phone disconnecting. It was also the sound of my brain disconnecting. Well, that kinda happened around when Rahne said my name, preceded by the word 'boyfriend', but still.

A variety of neurological messages were being sent to my brain, but they were getting the same recorded message that was being played through the phone's speakers:

The phone number you have dialed is currently switched off or out of coverage area. Please call again later. The phone number-

My thumb hit the 'end call' button, absently placing the phone back on its cradle, and I was left in the silence of my room.

"You and your boyfriend Bobby."

"You and your boyfriend Bobby."

You know how in movies, when a character is going insane, there's a whole ton of disembodied voices repeating phrases as the camera spins around and around? Yeah, this was kinda like that, minus the spinning camera.

"Your boyfriend Bobby."

"Boyfriend Bobby."

"Bobby."

"Bobby."

"Bobby!"

I was jolted out of my thoughts by a loud voice that definitely did not sound like Rahne in my imagination.

I blinked and my gaze focused on Ray, leaning against the doorframe.

"Dude, you've been sitting there spacing for like five minutes."

"Sorry, man." I said sheepishly, standing up.

"Yeah. Right." He rolled his eyes and I made a face in return. "Logan's gonna slice-n-dice us if we don't get to the DR soon, so get a move on!"

"I'm moving! I'm moving!"

But really all that was going on in my head was:

"Your boyfriend Bobby."

"Your boyfriend Bobby."

"Your boyfriend-"

"Bobby!"

Oops. Spaced out again.

Ray roughly grabbed my arm and proceeded to drag me down the halls. I yanked my arm out of his grip just as Rahne and Jubilee turned the corner, heading towards us. Ray and Rahne nodded at each other in recognition of our common destination. Jubilee's gaze was on everything and anything that wasn't me.

"Your boyfriend Bobby."

Suddenly, I felt my cheeks heat up for absolutely no reason.

Naturally, Jubilee chose that moment to look over at me, her eyes catching my own. Her cheeks took on a reddish tinge, as if she could read my mind, and dropped her gaze again.

"Jubes," I said, catching her hand. She turned to face me, and as soon as she lifted her head, I moved in pressed my lips to hers.

Call me possessed, but something told me that she might not actually slap me.

And she didn't, to my complete surprise. Instead, her lips responded to mine, and she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll have you know," a voice said, and it took me a moment to figure out that it was my own, "that I'm not a fictional character."

"I know," Jubilee said simply, and pressed her lips to mine again. I could feel her smile against my own.

And the moral of this story is, sometimes it pays off to listen other people's conversations.

Odd bits of humor? Yup.

One (or more) kisses between the main character(s)? Yup.

Jubby? YUP!

Ending a bit weird? Yup.

Satisfactory amounts of eyebrow action? Meh.

All in all a decent JJB fanfic? You decide, by pressing the blue review button below! :)

~ J. J. Bean