A/N:

Is anyone still reading this? Mah b. I'm not sure if I'll be finishing this story any time soon—if ever—as I'm prone to lurking rather than doing any actual writing, (I believe I have half of chapter five sitting somewhere in my files) but I wrote this little spin-off/companion piece awhile ago about Carly's and Freddie's first date.

Hope you enjoy!

Interlude

"Hi," Carly says brightly. "You must be Fredward Benson! I'm Carly Shay." She shakes his proffered hand (Nice and firm, she notes) and beams at him when he returns her greeting. His voice has a pleasant baritone register. Very masculine.

Fredward gestures with his hand. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Carly says grandly. They walk side by side to the entrance. She slows down her footsteps and flashes him an encouraging grin when he opens the door for her.

As they head towards their reserved seat in (to Carly's dismay) a rather awkward silence, she takes the time to study his features, mentally cataloging any flaws or shudder-worthy anomalies. So far, he ranks at least a seven on the Carly-Sam Hotness Scale. He has a nice facial structure-no hairy moles or adult acne-and a broad back and shoulders. He also seems to be a few inches taller than Carly and stands ramrod straight, walking with a stiff gait. She bumps him up to a seven point five. Not bad, not bad.

Fredward arrives at their table first and mechanically pulls out a cushioned chair for her.

"Thank you, Fredward."

Fredward shakes his head. "Please." He smiles. "Call me Freddie."

Carly swoons and brings him up to a nine.

His teeth, she thinks faintly, are so white...

She snaps out of her daze when she sees him looking at her expectantly. Carly snatches the menu up and gives a cursory glance at the appetizers.

"All of these look so nice," she says. Coyly, "What are you planning on ordering, Freddie?" Cue hair twirl and eyelash batting.

He frowns, eyebrows puckering. "I'm not sure."

Carly is saved from replying when the waiter approaches their table. "May I offer you some wine?"

Carly lets Freddie order for the two of them when her cell phone blares the chorus to "Call Me Maybe." She jumps and yelps, practically flinging her purse across the table in a frantic effort to silence her phone.

"I am so sorry," she babbles, "I put it on silent, that won't happen again."

Freddie dismisses the sullen waiter and gives her an amused smile. He glances down at the table. "You should probably answer that."

Carly's eyes snap back down to her phone.

"I don't mind." His voice is deceptively mild, Carly thinks suspiciously.

Tentatively she says, "Hello?"

"Carly it's terrible!" Sam all but shrieks into her ear. "I'm starving and there's nothing to eat!"

"Sam!" Carly hisses. "I'm on a date, remember? You can't just call me in the middle of-" She cuts herself off before she can say, "In the middle of something so important." Freddie will probably think she's crazy.

"I don't care, Carly Shay," Sam drawls. "If you don't tell me where you hid the meat I swear I am coming over and crashing your date."

Carly sighs, shooting a desperate glance at Freddie, whose head is bent over the menu. "It's in the vegetable drawer, the only place I knew you wouldn't look."

Sam swears and hangs up.

Carly tucks her phone back into her purse and clears her throat. She picks up the menu and scans through the appetizers. Freddie's head is still bent over the menu.

I'll just have a salad, Carly decides. And if Freddie thinks I'm self-conscious about my weight, I'll order the sundae for dessert.

Mood slightly lifted, Carly carefully sets the folded menu beside her plate and fixes the silverware.

"Boy, roommates, huh?" She mentally cringes at how belated her remark is.

Freddie glances up from the menu. "I'll say. She sounded pretty upset."

Carly relaxes her shoulders. "Yeah, my roommate-Sam-we've been best friends for forever, but she's always been a handful. You know she once made one of my friends pass out by squeezing his wrist?" She's aware that she's babbling, but she can't bring herself to stop. "Don't even get me started on the number of times I've had to bail her out of jail."

Freddie opens his mouth as if to say something, but Carly barrels on. "She's been arrested fifteen times. Once, she got so drunk that she urinated on a police car! Can you believe that? A police car!" Carly reaches for her wine glass and takes a huge gulp. Did you know that in high school she installed a barbeque in her locker? Who does that?"

"Carly, you don't have to-" Freddie tries.

"Yeah, I know right!" Carly says, apropos of nothing. "And guess what her favorite color is. It's brown because brown is the color of gravy. And I swear, she is practically addicted to meat. You know why she just called me? Because I hid the meat in the vegetable drawer!" She gesticulates wildly. "I knew that she would freak out but I still hid the meat anyway!" Tears are suddenly pouring down her face and Freddie looks alarmed. "Am I a bad person, Freddie?"

Freddie reaches over to dab at her cheeks with his napkin. "You're not, Carly. You're a genuine person who really cares about her best friend."

"Really?" she blubbers.

"Yes. And she's the person I want to get to know tonight. Not her best friend."

Carly sniffles. "Okay."

"Are you ready to order, sir and madame?"

"Give us a minute," Freddie says. He turns to face Carly.

"I'm really sorry about this," Carly apologizes. "I'm not usually like this. I'm on my period." She freezes.

Freddie blinks.

"Um. S-s-sam's a really great person once you get to know her-"

"Carly. Although I'm sure Sam is a really a great person, and I would like to meet her some day, I want to focus on you tonight. So let's just forget about Sam for now, okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry." She excuses herself and grabs her purse.

Carly reapplies her lipstick and wipes away the mascara under her eyes. She smiles at herself in the mirror, cocks her hip to the side. "Perfect ten," she whispers.