A/N: Sorry this took longer. I have lots of hard classes and lots of long papers. Haha.

Chapter 6 – Just To See You Smile

The first thing Matthew noticed when he came to awareness the next morning was that his chest felt comfortably squished. In a state of relaxed half-sleep, Matthew didn't bother to open his eyes to investigate the comforting pressure on his torso. But, after a few moments of limbo between the world of the sleeping and awake, Matthew realized that there was something ultimately strange about having something on his chest. It wasn't how Matthew normally woke up. Had something fallen on him? Had a wild animal gotten into the house and made its home on his upper body?

So, after a few minutes of half-sleepy contemplation, Matthew decided it made the most sense to open his eyes to examine the strange presence. He struggled against both the offensive daylight and the heavy weight of his eyelids for some time before he was able to get a clear view of what was on his chest.

It was an arm. To be more precise, it was the arm of Ivan Braginski, clothed in a long sleeved gray sleeping shirt and draped securely over Matthew's entire chest. The attached hand was curled under Matthew's upper arm.

For a moment, Matthew was confused. Why was he in bed with Ivan? Why was Ivan snuggling him? And then, the events of the previous night came rushing back – the strange pull and Ivan's nightmares.

A chill went up Matthew's spine as he tried to imagine what Ivan could have been dreaming of. Was he being tortured? Were his sisters being raped in front of his eyes? Or perhaps Ivan had been unable to move – trapped while something terrible happened which he couldn't control. Matthew shivered, not wanting to think about Ivan being miserable.

He shifted his gaze from the arm to the face of his sleeping husband. Ivan was lying on his stomach, and his head was closer than Matthew had anticipated – in fact, his mouth was right next to Matthew's cheek, and if Matthew concentrated, he could feel the slight intake and outtake of Russia's in-sleep breathing. His head was lying comfortably atop of Matthew's shoulder, and he looked more at peace than his rough history should have allowed.

We're… snuggling. The thought hit Matthew like a ton of bricks. He couldn't remember the last time he'd snuggled with someone. If he had been told a few weeks ago that he would be sleeping in the same bed as Russia and snuggling with him, Matthew would have laughed. He wasn't laughing now though.

After assessing that Russia seemed to be in a pretty deep sleep, Matthew turned himself slightly in the grasp of the larger man. Although it would probably have been more self-preserving to turn away from Ivan, Matthew found himself turning towards him. Their faces were now just inches apart. Ivan's arm wrapped around Matthew's back now, and their chests were flush against one another. To ensure his own comfort, Matthew gently lifted his top arm out of the middle of the two bodies and put it over Ivan's back, effectively turning their position into a lying-down hug.

I am snuggling with Ivan. Oh my God. And I initiated this snuggle. Oh my God. What if he wakes up? Oh my God. Oh my Maple-y Pancake God.

For the moment, all seemed well. Ivan hadn't seemed jostled by Matthew's movement in the slightest, so Matthew could pretend he had changed to this position in his sleep. Yes, that would work perfectly…

"Matvey wants to snuggle?"

"Ahhhh!" Matthew squeaked in an undignified, girly fashion. "You were a-awake?"

Ivan's eyes were still closed as if he were asleep. "Da, I have been awake for a long time."

Matthew felt mortified. Now he knows I tried to cuddle with him! Oh Maple! This is horrifying! "I-Ivan, I'm so sorry," he said, trying to pull away.

"Why are you sorry, Milashka?"

"Mee-lotch what?"

"Milashka. It is your new pet name."

"What does it mean?" Matthew asked. He was all-too aware that he and Ivan were snuggled, both parties awake, on a bed which they both owned.

"Ah, maybe I will tell you some other day. Are you hungry?"

Matthew nodded.

Ivan pulled him closer. "Too bad. We will stay here for at least one more hour. Ah," he said as he maneuvered their bodies so that one of Russia's legs was in between Matthew's and Matthew's head was cuddled snugly up against the crook of Ivan's neck.

"Y-you do know we're cuddling," Matthew said, hoping to break the Russian out of whatever hypnosis he must be under.

"Oh, is that what we're doing?" Ivan asked teasingly. "I thought we were invading America. This will have to do though."

Matthew blushed red and decided not to say anything else, for he was certain he would just make his situation even more insane.

So, for a solid fifteen minutes, neither of them moved. Matthew had never been cuddled like this before – sure, he'd been hugged by his Dad and his Papa, and America and he had had random, slightly extended hugs when Alfred had been going through a tough time, but Matthew had never been with someone romantically in this way. Sex was one thing, but this was cuddling, and dare he say it…

Love?

"I-I need to make breakfast!" Matthew said quickly, extracting himself from Ivan's arms very suddenly. "I'll make you pancakes! And omelettes! Yes! Pancakes!"

Love? I'm such a fool. We're not in love and we never will be.

"So, do you want to go to a Canucks game?" Matthew asked with his mouth full of pancake.

"What is a Canuck game?" Ivan asked. He had finished his meal much earlier and was reading a paper at the breakfast table.

"The Canucks are Vancouver's hockey team," Matthew replied. "A-and I know you like hockey, so I was thinking you might be interested in going!" When Ivan didn't respond, Matthew was quick to qualify, "I mean, unless you don't want to, or if you are busy today, or something, it's really fine, I don't care-"

"Matvey." Ivan leaned across the table and put his index finger on Matthew's mouth in the universal indication for silence. "I would be honored to attend a Canadian hockey match with you today."

Matthew, unable to understand his recent propensity for blushing, stammered something incomprehensible and walked away. "I'm gonna go buy us some tickets then!" he responded.

"Sold out!"

Matthew groaned as he read the words on the page. Of course the Canucks would be sold out. Games were always packed – they were such a popular team.

"What did you say, Matvey?" Russia asked, coming into the sitting room where Matthew was restraining himself from banging his head against the computer screen.

"The game is sold out," Matthew said, grumbling. I'm so stupid. Why would I invite him to do something without checking if it's possible first? I bet he thinks I'm so stupid now.

"That is unfortunate," Russia said, standing next to Matthew's chair and placing his hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Perhaps we could do something else today then?"

"Like what?" Matthew asked.

"I don't know anything about this city," Russia said snappishly. "You tell me!"

Truth was, Matthew barely ever visited this place. He was supposed to be the representative of Canada, and yet he didn't even know anything about Vancouver. He spun his computer chair so he could face Russia. "Uh… we could… go for a walk?" he said tentatively.

Ivan deadpanned. "Are you meaning to say to me that you don't know anything else there is to do here?"

"Maybe…" Matthew sighed and looked at the ground in defeat. So stupid! "Well, I know some people here, and I could call them and get them to take you somewhere fun," Canada said. "I know there must be at least one cool museum here; I could set you up with a tour-"

"Idiot Matvey. I only want to spend the day with you." Russia patted his head and walked to the door of the computer room. "Let's go for a walk. It was a good idea in the first place."

"Alright, I'll get…" Matthew started, but Russia was already out of the room. "Ready."

"Canada is a strange place," Ivan said offhandedly as the two walked through the snowy streets of Vancouver B.C. "Your people smile at each other on the street."

"Do people not smile in Russia or something?" Matthew asked as the two turned a corner.

"We smile!" Ivan countered angrily. "Just… not at people we don't know."

"Hm," Matthew responded. "Maybe you should try doing it some more."

A nice young woman was walking the opposite direction as the two countries and was about to pass them on the sidewalk. "Go on," Matthew said. "Smile at her! She looks friendly."

Ivan tried. He really did. As she shot him a brilliant smile, he responded with a forced, grimace-like smile, nothing like his usual frighteningly 'innocent' grin. The woman's expression instantly turned horrified, and she ran away quickly.

"Am I really that scary?" Ivan asked naively. He looked pretty forlorn at the development.

"No!" Matthew said hurriedly. "You're not scary. You - you just have difficulty showing kindness. But that's alright," Matthew said with a wide grin. "I can teach you!"

"Really? You would do that for me Matvey?" Russia sounded surprised, which in itself was surprising to Matthew.

"Of course!" Matthew responded. "Why wouldn't I?"

Russia didn't respond to the rhetorical question, preferring to change the subject. "Matvey, is that an ice rink?" Ivan asked, pointing to a building across the street.

"Oh, yeah! Riley Park!" Matthew grinned. "This is a place I have been, actually. During a provincial convention here a few years ago."

"So you like to ice skate?" Ivan sounded pleased.

"Do I like to ice skate? Are you kidding me? I play ice hockey!" Matthew puffed up his chest proudly as he steered them towards Riley Park Rink. "I'm a forward! Except, I don't get to play on a team." He sighed glumly as the two entered the rink.

"Why not?" Russia asked, putting his hand on Canada's shoulder.

"Can we get two please?" Matthew asked the lady at the ticket office. As soon as he had procured the tickets to enter the ice rink, Matthew turned to respond to Russia's query. "It's because I'm a nation and I naturally have more strength than the average human, so I can't play on a human team or else it would be cheating. But the nations don't have hockey teams, so…"

"We should start some," Russia responded.

Matthew shrugged as they got ice skates from another employee at the ice rink. "I don't know. I think enough nations would want to – most of the others don't have glaciers in their countries year round. I don't know if they know what ice is."

The two nations were silent as they laced up and then stepped out onto the ice, which was empty save for them. Matthew instantly felt himself gliding, and he positively flew away from Ivan, forgetting about the other's existence for a moment as he lost himself in the liberating feeling of skating.

It's just me and the ice. It's been a while since I've been able to do this – to feel truly free from obligations, from familial duties, from my stupid brother, from everything… it's like it's just me and the ice, as it should be.

But, in a moment, he was glomped from behind by his Russian lover. "Matvey, you were not lying when you said you could ice skate," Russia said into his ear, making Matthew shiver.

"Y-you can let go now," Matthew said, his back warm from the torso of his husband which was pressed up against it.

"What if I don't want to?"

Matthew and Ivan were gliding together like a pair of figure skaters. Ivan grasped Matthew's hands and then spun him out, only to pull him back so that the two were chest to chest.

"Why don't you want to?" Matthew whispered.

"Because we are one, da?" Ivan responded.

And then, Ivan leaned his head down captured Matthew's lips, eliciting a small squeak from the formerly Canadian nation. Matthew reacted quickly, pushing back against the taller man with force. Matthew wasn't sure when he'd fallen in love with the man, but it was easy for Matthew to realize that he'd never want to let Ivan go. And even though Ivan would never love him back, Matthew couldn't help but appreciate the fuzzy feelings that were abounding in his chest. Love was a beautiful feeling, requited or not.

Then, they ran into the glass and fell onto their butts on the ice. For a moment, they were too stunned to make any noise, but then, they started laughing together. "Hehehehehe!" Matthew laughed, his abs starting to receive a workout.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol!" Russia laughed as well. "Matvey, you are my favorite."

When they left the ice rink, a snowstorm was brewing. The two were soaked to the bone from snow when they got back to their house, so they left to take separate showers and change into warm clothes. Matthew was finished cleaning up first, so he went to the lounge and started a fire in the fireplace so that he and Russia could have a nice evening sitting in front of the fire. After moving the heavy cover from the hearth, Matthew set to work piling logs and kindling.

I mean, unless he's busy or something. Or just doesn't want to. Maybe I can find a way to let him back out easily without having to be rude to me…

"Are you starting a fire for us?"

Matthew turned around from the fireplace and found himself staring at a mostly naked Russian, save for a gray towel wrapped around his waist. "Guh-guh-guh-guh-w-where are your clothes?"

"I am going to get dressed, but I heard some noises and wanted to make sure everything was okay," Russia said. "Do you need help?"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-no!" Matthew stammered, pushing Ivan out of the room. "Go get your clothes on! I am competent enough to do this on my own!"

Ivan returned five minutes later sporting his normal attire and found Matthew sitting on the loveseat cuddling with Kumajirou, a warm fire roaring in the fireplace. Ivan took a seat next to him, although he found it disappointing when Matthew scooted away from him.

"Did you have a good day Matvey?" Ivan asked, hoping to break the tension.

"Yes," Matthew replied in an almost-whisper, still horrified over the Russian's near nakedness a few moment before. "It was very fun… thank you for going on the walk with me!"

"It was my pleasure," Ivan responded. For a moment, the two sat in silence, to both the nations' annoyance. "Matvey, may I tell you something?" Ivan asked after a few moments. "Er, something, private?"

"Of course!" Matthew replied. "Kuma-kun, maybe you should leave the room. Ivan wants to tell me something in secret."

"I won't leave until I get food. Who are you?"

"I'm Canada – er, Matthew, the guy who feeds you," Matthew said with a sigh. He moved to get up to feed his pet, but at that moment, Russia produced an entire fish from his coat and gave it to the polar bear, who ran off with it happily. Matthew was surprised for a moment before he remembered that he had decided to stop questioning the strange occurrences that transpired in his life. "Er, right. So, what did you want to tell me?"

"It is my fault that Norway, Iceland, and Greenland decided not to become a part of our country."

"Excuse me?" Ivan's sudden revelation was unexpected, and Matthew wasn't certain what Ivan was trying to get at. "Did you make a mistake or something?"

"No. It was on purpose. I did not want them to be a part of our country." Ivan was looking directly into the fire, determinedly avoiding Matthew's questioning gaze.

"But… why? Didn't you want our country to be big?"

"No. I wanted an excuse to make you join with me." If Matthew didn't know better, he'd have sworn that Ivan was blushing. "It was the only way I could think that would make you want to - you want to be memorable and have the Arctic be important. But, to do it I needed to pretend that I was inviting the other Arctic countries as well. And I did – but, I portrayed it in a bad way. I pretended that if they joined they would be forced to pay massive taxes in return for their greatness. I made it seem like they'd be oppressed and miserable because I wanted them to say no."

Matthew was flabbergasted. "But… why? Why would you want to join with just me?"

Ivan finally made eye contact with his husband. "Is it not obvious? I am in love with you. But I didn't know what to do."

Matthew's eyes widened. "You're in love with me? But you never talked to me! You never noticed me!"

Ivan had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. "I actually noticed you too much, da? I pretended not to though. Then I had an excuse to sit on you."

Matthew chose not to be offended by the comment. "Why didn't you just try to talk to me?"

"No one wants to just talk to me!" Ivan said angrily, standing up to pace in front of the hearth. "I tried to talk to Lithuania, but he was too afraid of me! I tried to talk to Estonia, but he would have nothing to do with me! And don't even get me started on Latvia! And Prussia, and Afghanistan, and Georgia! And all the others! I just wanted them to be my friends! How else was I supposed to make you love me?"

Matthew stood up, wondering if he was about to experience Ivan's wrath for what he was about to say. "Ivan," he said quietly. "You didn't treat them like friends. You treated them like slaves. You invaded them and hurt lots of their people. You made them sad, and friends don't like it when their friends are sad. Remember when we talked about this? If you were doing something that made Lithuania sad, you needed to stop what you were doing. If Prussia didn't want to become a part of you, you shouldn't have forced it. But you acted wrongly, and it made them scared of you."

"Are you scared of me, Matvey?"

"No, but I would be if you didn't treat me right. If you made all my decisions for me, and if you threatened me, I would be scared." Matthew wrapped his arms around his husband, his head leaning on Ivan's back. "But I know you won't do that. You're different than you were before. You're nice on the inside, and you've just needed the right person to bring it out. I just want to make you smile, eh?"

"Matvey is too kind," Ivan whispered. "I am a bad person."

"No, you're not. You've just had a troubled past, and I want to help you fix it, okay?" Matthew said kindly. "And I love you too."

Ivan didn't say anything else, but he turned around so that his arms were wrapped around Matthew's shoulders too. Matthew understand that it was Russia's way of expressing his gratitude. Matthew smiled, closing his eyes in contentment.

Ivan, I will be the one to make you smile.

TBC….

Wow, that was kind of a weird chapter, don't you agree? Anyways, more to come. Thanks for enjoying!