Disclaimer: Blah blah Rowling blah blah copyright blah blah blah blah.

Harry Potter and the Blind Seer of Durmstrang

Chapter 34

"What in the world made you say that?" asked Sirius.

Everyone was back at Grimmauld Place taking what Lupin called "a breather." The battle at the mansion had ended with most of the Death Eaters apparating away once they discovered that the Dark Lord had vanished. A few who were left had been taken into custody, among them the still-inert Wormtail. Several were injured.

The Order of the Phoenix had not come away without casualties. Mad-Eye Moody now limped with both feet. Worst of all, Professor O'Carolan had been struck, and they feared that he would not pull through. He had been taken to St. Mungo's straightaway, of course, but in the back of everyone's mind was anxiety for the old professor.

Harry, who sat with his knee under a bag of frozen peas, looked down the table toward the spot where Sirius and the twins sat. Mack had just finished telling everyone the story of the confrontation with Voldemort, and the rescue of the twins.

"Wait, what I want to know, is how did Voldemort get hold of you two in the first place?" Harry interrupted without answering Sirius's question.

Jasmine started. "It was my fault, really."

"No, it was mine," said Jamie hurriedly.

Without waiting for her sister, Jasmine continued. "I brought us too close to the house."

"They came to tell us what was going on," Sirius added. "We were in too big of a hurry."

"If Jamie and Jazz got caught, how did the rest of you get into the house?" queried Adrian, who was nursing a broken arm. He'd insisted he not be taken to St. Mungo's until he heard the whole story, but Lupin sternly informed him that it would not be long until he was to be safely in hospital.

"That's why it was my fault," Jamie began again. "We went back…"

"I agreed to it. We went back to get…" Jasmine continued.

"And I wanted to get…" Jamie spoke over her sister.

"But we came back too close to the house," Jasmine finished.

Harry squinted in a puzzled frown as the twins talked over one another.

"A Death Eater in a mask." Jamie said. "I think it might have been that scary Professor Carrow."

"He grabbed us, just as we came out by the stream," said Jasmine. It's like he knew we were coming."

"Well it was the third time," put in Lupin.

"I should have been more careful," said Jasmine with tears in her voice.

"Hush," said Mack, and his chair creaked as he put his arm around her. "It's all sorted now."

"Which brings us back," said Sirius to Harry, "to why you said that. How is everything sorted? What made you say such a thing, anyway?"

Harry sucked in a long, slow breath. He wasn't sure he could explain. The long, cold year at Durmstrang, the hours he'd spent getting lost or relearning how to navigate using sounds and mental maps. The friendships he'd made as a result of his blindness, and as a result of the school swap. The knitting class, the Carrows, Natalia, Quidditch, the Yule Ball, the graveyard… everything spun through his head in a blur.

"I—err—I didn't actually want revenge," he said lamely.

"What do you mean," asked Sirius sharply.

"I didn't really want revenge," repeated Harry. "He thought I wanted revenge, that I was angry at him for blinding me, and everything. But I didn't."

There was silence at the long table.

"I know it seems like this huge tragedy," Harry continued, struggling to choose his words. "I know it seems like I should hate him for what he did to me, to my parents. I know he expected me to."

"Go on," said Lupin quietly.

"But I don't. I mean, yeah, it… not being able to see…" he floundered.

"It's not quite how you thought it would be?" asked Lupin slowly. Harry turned toward him.

"Some days, I hate it," Harry confessed in a rush. "But mostly, it's just…"

"There." Lupin supplied the word, and Harry knew in that moment that he completely understood.

"There." Harry repeated the word. "It just is."

"Your acceptance is admirable," began Sirius, but Harry broke in.

"It's not really acceptance. I mean I don't feel resigned or all that rot. It just isn't as bad as I thought it would be." Harry finished.

"But forgiveness? That sounds almost religious." Sirius said sardonically.

"I wanted to say that I didn't care. You know, like he couldn't break me. That was all that came to mind," said Harry.

"Well, it worked. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love. The most powerful magic. The only thing that can truly counter evil." Lupin said these words thoughtfully. "In some ways, loving yourself is the first step toward loving your neighbor."

"Loving myself," said Harry, wondering if this conversation had really gone in the proper direction after all.

"Anyway," said Sirius crisply, "all's well that ends well. You-Know-Who is not gone, of course. Evil cannot be disposed of quite that easily. Still, my guess is that he will stay quiet for a while at least, and we may enjoy a respite."

Everyone pondered this.

"You," Lupin said. "You are destined for St. Mungo's and rest, sir. Professor Snape will have my head if he finds out that I did not take one of his Slytherin students for the care he needed."

Adrian snorted, but rose to his feet. "You might as well come too, Harry, and get that knee sorted."

Harry smirked to himself. Adrian might be bold in a fight, but when it came to doctors, he did not want to go alone. He stretched himself as he stood, and headed toward the fireplace where Lupin was gathering Floo powder.

-break-

Two weeks later, Harry sat in his last knitting class of the year. That afternoon, the Hogwarts students would ride the magical ship back in time to witness the three competitors perform the final task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Harry doubted it could be as exciting as the weeks leading up to it, but he felt mild interest nonetheless. Wild stories had reached the Durmstrang students of battles with dragons and a swimming contest in the lake with the giant squid, and already Durmstrang was planning to host the next TWT in seven years.

He thought about Professor O'Carolan with concern. Weakened as he was with his long imprisonment and age, the old fighter had a long road ahead of him. In spite of the best care the medi-witches and wizards at St. Mungo's could give, he remained weak and listless. Harry visited him one quiet day to have a long talk with him, which he feared might be his last. He'd told Harry how proud he was, in such a grandfatherly tone that Harry was quite moved. He also bequeathed his office full of oddities and inventions to Harry if he didn't pull through, who in turn planned to give most of them to Mr. Weasley. This memory of his mentor's illness still made Harry feel a knot in the pit of his stomach, but he determined to continue to make the old man proud whether he was there to see Harry's accomplishments or not. He kept the three-cornered Hansel-and-Gretel in his pocket as a talisman.

Harry feebly tried to hook the knitting needle under the loops of yarn, aware that he was making a dismal mess of it as usual. His thoughts strayed to Ron and Hermione, and he felt a rush of excitement and anticipation with the thought that soon he'd get to tell his friends everything that had happened. He wondered vaguely if Luna would also like to hear all about it and he made a mental promise to himself to find her when he got back and give her his knitting needles and yarn. He thought she might like them.

The End.

Please Read and Review! Thanks!