To all of my A Soul's Hope fans. I just wanted to make you aware that I have a spin-off of A Soul's Hope that I have been writing on and off for a few years now. It's called Nate's Diary and it is Nate's story. You see there was a lot more to Nate than the guy that Wanda saw pining away for her.

I started writing this book and then I took a long break from writing altogether because I felt burnt out. I have recently returned to writing and rather than pick with For the Love of Brynn (my own published series), or Plum Crazy (a favorite for Janet Evanovich fans on FanFiction), I decided this book was this book has been my guilty pleasure and chose this book to go back to.

Here is a little snippet from the book to give you an idea of Nate's crazy life:

It was raining. Everyone was either in the cave or in the house, except Ian. He was at the ball field. Gina was hanging with Megan and Sara watching a show on the Disney Channel. It seems the souls loved the entire concept of Disney. She turned her head and stared at me when I entered the house. I smiled at her, and she turned her head back to watch the show. What did I do to warrant her disregard? The last night we spent together I did everything I could to satisfy her. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. I returned to the living room, and Gina was gone. Damn it!

"Did you see where Gina went?"

"Um, she said she had laundry to do," Megan answered.

I put down my cup of coffee and high tailed it out the door to the root cellar.

She wasn't alone. Miranda was in there as well.

"Hello ladies!"

"Hello, Nate," Miranda chirped happily.

Gina didn't answer.

"No hello from the lovely Miss Gina? Has the rain got you down?"

"No."

I walked over and began to help her fold her clothes. I picked up her underwear, and she snatched them from my hand. "I could carry the basket back to the cave for you," I offered.

"I'm fine. I'm meeting Evan later at the house. We are going to bake a cake."

Miranda picked up her basket and left. "See you later."

"Bye," we both said in unison.

I turned my attention to Gina. "I could bake a cake with you."

"Oh, heavens no, someone might think we had an interest in each other."

"Gina, don't be like that. I've missed you."

"Well, it's not as if I've left the mountain in the last four days. Evan doesn't seem to have an issue with hanging out with me."

"That's because he wants to get laid," I answered too quickly.

"And what is it you want?" she quipped.

"Polite conversation."

"Right."

I took the shirt she was folding out of her hand. I grabbed her wrists and slid my hands across hers until my fingers were entwined in hers.

"I really do want to talk."

"About what?"

"About you."

"Why?"

"Something's been bothering me."

"I haven't slept with Even if that's what you're worried about."

I was actually relieved to hear that.

"Good, but that's not what has been bothering me."

She drew in a deep breath. "I haven't been around because I had my period. Most guys don't want to have anything to do with me when it's that time."

I cupped my hands under her chin, and I kissed her gently. "Is that what you think?"

"You don't want a relationship, so I take that to mean if you aren't going to get your dick wet, then you don't want to see me."

I clutched my chest. "Ahhh, you wound me."

She glared at me. "Right."

"Seriously. I'm happy just kissing you."

"I thought you wanted to talk," she said dryly.

"I do."

Aunt Sue entered the root cellar at that moment carrying a large basket of laundry. I quickly backed away from Gina.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Nope, I was just leaving," Gina replied as she picked up the last of her laundry and dropped it into the basket. She covered it with a large garbage bag to keep the clothes from getting wet.

"Let me carry it for you." I took it from her and followed her out of the root cellar. It was still raining, but it wasn't as heavy as before.

We walked in silence for a bit, and then I blurted out the question that had been bothering me for days. "Why is it you have no children?"

She creased her forehead. "What?"

"I was thinking. When you and I have sex, I always use a condom because Burns gets them for me, but you said you've been forced to have sex many times. I would think that these men did not have the luxury of condoms. Why have you never been pregnant?"

She pursed her lips. She looked pissed. "Give me my basket." She ripped the basket from my arms and marched off toward the cave.

"Why are you mad?" I said as I walked along side of her.

She stopped dead in her tracks. "What makes you think I've never been pregnant?" she growled.

"Because your body is perfect. I've seen what pregnancy does to a woman's body. You've never given birth."

"AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL! I HATE YOU NATHAN DOWNEY!" She threw her basket of clothes at me and stormed off.

"GINA!" I called out. I was caught off guard by her actions. Her clean clothes lay in a heap on the rain soaked ground. I knelt down and picked up the clothes and placed them back in the basket. They would need to be washed all over again. I carried the basket to the entrance of the cave. I put them down just inside and continued to her room.

"Gina?" I called out in a soft voice as I entered her room. The lamp was just inside. I could hear her sobbing. I clicked on the light. She was lying in the fetal position with her back to me, and she was rocking back and forth as she cried. I knelt by her side and touched her shoulder. "Gina?"

"Go away, Nathan."

Only Maria called me by my full name. "Please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!"

"Gina, please."

"GET…OUT!" she screamed.

"Okay." I backed away and left her.

I was rattled. I didn't know what to do. I only knew that the subject of a baby sent her over the edge. I picked up her laundry basket and returned to the root cellar. It was almost dinner, but I needed the solace to try and make sense of what had just happened. The only thing that made sense to me was if she had indeed been pregnant and somehow lost the baby…or maybe she had been trying to get pregnant, and she couldn't. I don't know. She said she was menstruating. Maybe she had hoped that I had gotten her pregnant in the bathtub. I don't know. I only know I couldn't leave things like this.

I finished her laundry, and I went back to the cave. The rain had stopped now. It was still overcast though. The cave was quiet because dinner was being served at the house due to the rain. I knocked lightly on the make shift folding Japanese screen that many of the family used as doors to their rooms. She didn't answer. I folded the screen and stepped into the room. The light was still on just as I had left it. I put down the basket and knelt next to her. She was asleep. I reached out and pulled her hair from her face.

"Hey," I said in a soft voice.

She rolled toward me and opened her eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"No, I'm damaged. Can't you see that? You should run as far and as fast as you can."

I brushed the outer part of my fingers along her cheek. "I'm sorry I upset you. I rewashed your laundry. I'll go now."

I got up and turned to leave.

"I was pregnant once," she said barely above a whisper.

I stopped in my tracks.

"There was this guy. He was the leader of our little pack," she said as she sat up on her mattress.

I turned, and she bade me to come and sit by her. I sat on the mattress, facing her.

"His name was John. Everyone called him Big John. He was like Ian only bigger."

I immediately thought of Kyle.

She took a deep breath. "Most of the guys who had sex with me took me from behind. I guess they didn't want to see my face. It's not like I'm much to look at really."

I caressed her face. "You're beautiful to me."

"You are too kind."

I leaned forward and kissed her lips. "You are prettier than you think."

"Big John liked me to strip down. He liked my breasts. He would spend an inordinate amount of time sucking on them." Her breasts were perfect. It was my favorite part of her. "He was gone for a few weeks. That's when I realized I was pregnant. I missed two periods. He came back, and the first thing he wanted was me. I wasn't really in the mood, but he slapped me, and he told me to do as I was told. I was fifteen at the time. I couldn't fight back. I took off my clothes quickly, and he immediately went for my breasts which were swollen. He latched on, and I pushed him away because it hurt."

"You must hate it when I caress your breasts."

"No, you are tender." She took my hand and laid it gently on her breasts, and I gently rubbed my thumb across her nipple through her clothes. I slowly pulled my hand away so she would continue the story.

"Go on," I implored.

"He was surprised when I pulled away. That's when he took a good look at me and saw my little pooch. He realized I was pregnant."

Suddenly, she turned her head and looked away from me.

"He was pissed. He said there was no room for a baby." Her voice hitched. "It would just be a burden. He knocked me down, and he kicked me…again and again in my abdomen." She began to sob again.

I felt nauseas at the thought of this man kicking a defenseless pregnant fifteen year old. I could feel the lump in my throat forming, and the tears just came. I slid toward her and pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry."

"Another man tried to stop him, but he beat the shit out of him, and then he turned back to me, and he kicked me until I miscarried." She was hysterical now. My own tears blurred my vision, so I just held her tightly. I was trying to comfort her, but I needed comforting, too. We both cried for a long time before she regained her voice.

"After that, no one bothered me for a while. It was a few months before John came to me again demanding satisfaction. Kevin, the guy who tried to protect me, came to me and offered to run away with me."

I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears.

"He said he would never try to hurt me; so one night, he and I snuck out, and we were on the run together for almost two years. He never once tried to touch me. He was more like a big brother to me."

"How old was he?"

"I never asked, but I think he was in his early thirties. We never stayed in one place for very long. Then, about a year ago, we were raiding this house, and the owners came home. They had a big dog. He told me to run, and the dog took him down. I don't know what happened after that. I can only assume he was caught. I wandered around for a bit, and then I came upon the abandoned barn, and that's where I found Holly."

I knelt down and scooped Gina into my arms. As I stood up with her cradled in my arms she asked, "What are you doing?"

"I think we need each other tonight."

"I can't have sex with you tonight."

"I'm not asking for sex," I replied.

I carried her to my room and lay her on the bed. "You stay right here and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to get us some dinner."

"Okay."

It was at that moment that I realized I had issued an order, and I did not want to be likened to Big John.