So yeah, guess what I saw this afternoon? I have to say I loved it, traditional Disney is back :)

Yet despite the fact I spent most of the film awing over Rapunzel and Flynn, my fanfic ideas are still angst. Something about my slight obsession with pitying bad guys seems to make it a requirement for me to write this.

It is stupid. She knows it's stupid. No one can put a price on freedom – no one knows that more than her. For the first time she feels like she's living, she's in love, she's loved by everyone. Finally she can see everything that she'd only read about – that she'd wished and wished with all her heart to see – but she had always thought she never would, that she was never sure even really existed until now. She is never bored and her days are full of activities and happiness. At last her life has begun.

But is does not stop it coming back to her at nights, the image of Mother Gothel withering to dust before her eyes, falling down the tower into nothingness. She wakes up with a jolt, realising it is just a nightmare, yet somehow she still does not feel comforted. Once she would have woken up safe in her tower, secure from intruders – or at least she had believed so, with the paintings that she had put all her love into, that had watched over her always. Her four poster bed in the enormous palace does not seem to offer the same amount of comfort.

There are times where she misses her. Whether it is right or not she has considered Gothel her mother for eighteen years and cannot suddenly stop seeing her as one. The King and Queen (for calling them dad and mum even now seems strange on her tongue), for all that they are trying to make up for the lost time, do not know her. Not really. They have to keep being reminded of her favourite foods, what dresses she'd approve of, what instruments she plays, what books take her fancy… Mother Gothel would have known she thinks bitterly, then instantly regrets it. Mother Gothel was selfish, she tells herself, Mother Gothel never loved me, she only wanted me for my hair.

But still she wonders. She remembers the hours of careful attention that Mother Gothel had spent with her as she was growing up. She was taught to read, sing even play the guitar under Gothel's guidance, it had been Mother Gothel who had suggested she used her painting talents to decorate her tower. For a woman who had kidnapped her and held her captive she had not been at all unkind. She had been much kinder than she had needed to be just to gain eternal youth.

Surely she must have felt something more for her than just that? She remembers the time that she had taken ill, Gothel had spent days and nights at her side, bringing her entertainment, tempting her to eat with her favourite foods. And then there were the shells, three days journey just so she could give her a nice white shade of paint.

'I love you,' 'I love you more,' 'I love you most,' The words still haunt her, and she is still not sure that they're entirely untrue.

But there is no use dwelling on the past. She has a whole new world to explore and Eugene to comfort her if the worries get too much. These feelings of loss will go, given time, she is sure of it.

Or at least she hopes.