My Ugly Mouth
A HariPo drabble
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Inspired by Meg and Dia's "My Ugly Mouth," where this fic got its name. Read, review, and enjoy!
- ^-^3
There he was, laughing again with his flavor of the week, some Slytherin girl who miraculously was one of the few not related to him. Sirius didn't laugh like that or smile like that for Remus, even though he said he loved the scrawny boy. It was such an…interesting way of showing his affection for Remus. Remus even struck up the courage to confront Sirius over it.
"What, just because I love you means I have to change everything that's made me, me all these years?"
Sirius didn't mean to spit out such venom. He'd meant that he didn't want to change his character completely, so no one would suspect him and Remus, so they'd all just leave them alone.
But he knew he'd done something horrid when Remus' face crumpled and collapsed like the cards of Peter's they used to play Exploding Snap. And yet… And yet… Remus said nothing, and he didn't have to; Sirius kicked himself badly enough.
Sirius scrambled to explain himself to Remus. He had plenty of experience with girls hating him, but he couldn't let Remus hate him. Mates or lovers, Remus meant the world to Sirius, and he knew he meant something to Remus.
Why else would Remus have been so affected?
So explaining himself wasn't Sirius' best ability, but at least he tried. He understood the disappointment he saw in Remus' eyes whenever they were in the same room; Sirius knew he deserved that.
But what irked him most was that Remus wasn't even going to fight him on it! What the hell? Did Sirius not mean much to him in reality? Sirius allowed his bark to be worse than his bite:
"Can't you see I love you, damn it?!"
James, on the other hand, had had loads of times like this. Sirius and Remus argued plenty, and James always stayed up with Remus while Remus vented…or cried. James hated that his best mates just seemed unable to make it work.
Each time this happened, James felt his heart beat even more strongly for the werewolf. He would leave his bed from across the room and join Remus on his and hold his mate tightly in his arms until he could hear Remus' breathing even out, to indicate he'd finally fallen asleep.
He knew Sirius knew he was in love with Remus, too. He suspected Remus must've guessed his true feelings by now.
But James kissed his temple that night, wondering if his love would have to remain unrequited any longer.
Oh, yes, Remus knew. No wonder he didn't try to stand up to Sirius—he'd started to have feelings for James, as well. Even if it was just in a small way, like holding James' hand, Remus liked James in a more-than-friendly manner, and he was starting to show it.
Yet he still pined for Sirius. He could be kissing James, but his eyes would drift to Sirius' cloak hanging nearby.
James hated getting angry, becoming jealous, but—"Hell, choose, Remus! Sirius or me! Or neither!"
It was the last thing Remus needed, James knew. Remus needed support…but James' heart needed its little tears sewn back together. Sure, Sirius played games, but Remus… Well, it felt as though Remus had taken a page from his book.
Even Sirius seemed on board. With all their feelings there, out in the open, hopefully Remus would make sense of it. Sirius wanted Remus to choose him; James wanted Remus to choose him. And if Remus couldn't decide…
Then, yeah, maybe James was right, and he didn't deserve either of them.
Of course, then James realized the meaning behind his ultimatum. Remus would choose him…or Sirius. James had a chance of losing. But—But James couldn't lose! He couldn't lose Remus!
And, while Remus seemingly carried on as normal, James sat back, possessed of the ominous feeling he would eat his words soon enough.
Remus knew his fickle feelings were partially to blame. But, damn, those two didn't realize just how…irresistible they were. Remus loved Sirius' cool demeanor and silver eyes…but James' caring attitude and hazel eyes could always get him to open up. They were being so bloody pigheaded, Remus concluded, to think that Remus could just—just wake up and, poof!, decide. Their ultimatum was putting a stress on his feelings…
But, wait. Remus…Remus had known his answer from the beginning.
"I love you both, equally…and too much." He didn't know what they'd do…but at least he'd told them the truth. Remus loved them both…even if he was staring him in the eye as he said it…
- ^-^3
Now, before you say I copped out, let me just say this: I love both Remmius and Jamus, and I'm beginning to think I love them equally myself. However! I ended it thusly so you, the reader, may CHOOSE for whomever Remus had a little bit more love… This is a drabble, so it's complete, but you may complete the ending in your mind. So don't kill me if you favor Remus with one or the other! Thank you! X0
Thanks for reading, and please review!
-mew-tsubaki :3
2017 note: Egads… I thought I'd p much gotten rid of all songfics when going through my 2010 fics, but this 2011 fic was also another one… Unfortunately, I feel this story suffers a bit with the lyrics to "My Ugly Mouth" by Meg and Dia removed…but, still, I can't consider leaving it as a songfic, bleargh. :S Honestly, this triangle should've just been an OT3, tho. *lol*