AN: Wow. So I haven't updated in like…well, a really long time. Maybe you noticed already, but all of my other stories are on hiatus. Eh heh heh…maybe I'll update them, maybe I won't. I know at least one is on permanent hiatus, the others on almost permanent hiatus. So.

(Also, if you took the poll on my profile, this is NOT the Hetalia story I was talking about. That's a different one, so everyone please vote!)

This'll just be a collection of USUK oneshots. I might even let people request once I run out.

Here goes.

Title: Costermonger

Pairing: USUK, of course

Rating: K+

Genre(s): Romance

Dedications: None as of yet. But if you review, you'll get put here next time~

Inspiration: Chris from World Civ, who gave me the prompt in the first place. And TWWTW, of course. Even if it is something I hate above all else…

Warnings: AU, as well as the bit about a unicorn being sent somewhere something as pure as a unicorn should never be sent…

Summary: All Arthur's trying to do is complete his shopping, and he stumbles upon a little stand that helps him find what he needs, and perhaps a little more.

Disclaimer: I do not own APH. If I did…well, I don't. Let's just leave it at that.

"Get yer apples here! Crunchy, juicy apples!"

"How about some tomatoes? Round, unblemished, perfect for salads or just eating alone!"

"Corn, just picked yesterday! Who wants some corn?"

A short man with shaggy blonde hair, bright green eyes, and eyebrows that took up approximately a sixth of his face frowned deeply. All of these vendors were so loud. Didn't then know he had to buy only very specific ingredients for his magic circle?

The man's name was Arthur Kirkland, and no, he wasn't not insane, no matter how much he seemed that way from his continuous chatter with a fairy, a unicorn, and a little green rabbit with wings he liked to call "Flying Mint Bunny", FMB for short.

For his magic circle, which he had created thousands of times with absolutely no ill effects (well, unless you counted that time when he turned into a sapling for several days…or when he suddenly gained ram horns…or when he accidentally sent his unicorn to Hell in exchange for a demon…or when—well, you get the point), he needed some broccoli that greatly resembled a four-leaf clover, a withered cucumber exactly 27.62 centimeters long, an acorn squash, and seven potatoes, all of them having to feature a different emotion on the face of Winston Churchill. So, he'd set out to find these items at the farmer's market that was set up by his house every Saturday.

So far, he had not procured any of his ingredients, but he was confident that he would before teatime. If he didn't, well, that would be very unfortunate indeed.

Suddenly, he spotted a cart tucked away in the shadow of an old building, squeezed between two large stands, both of them proudly displaying large fish. Arthur said to the FMB, "Well, it couldn't hurt, could it?" When she shook her head, he nodded to himself. "That settles it. Brace yourselves, those fish are bound to be rather…pungent." He wrinkled his nose up and went in.

The cart itself delighted Arthur. It had an old-fashioned feel to it, the various vegetables sitting not only in it, but also on the top and hanging off it in random places. It had a sort of rustic charm to it.

However, its attendant did not.

A tall young man, perhaps 20, was leaned back in a chair behind the cart. He had hair the color of wheat with a strange cowlick perched just above his forehead. A content smile was on his tanned face, and glasses sat on his nose, though his eyes were currently closed. He was either muscular or chubby, Arthur couldn't tell, but he had the overall look of someone who spent a lot of time outside without a care in the world. Foolish boy.

He saw a pile of brown baskets sitting next to the cart, and picked one up. It rustled the pile, and the boy's eyes snapped open. He jumped up, knocking over his chair. "Hey!" he shouted, pointing at Arthur, "are you stealing my baskets?"

Arthur raised one large eyebrow. "No," he replied coolly, "I am taking it so I can fill it with the ingredients I need. Is that problem?"

"Oh!" The boy smiled. "Here, gimme the basket, I'll do it for you." Then, with no warning whatsoever, he grabbed the basket and pulled it out of Arthur's hand. The fairy giggled, and Arthur shot her a glare. "So, what do you need?" asked the boy.

Arthur cleared his throat. "I require an acorn squash-"

"Got it!" The boy picked out the most acorn-looking of all the acorn squashes. "My name's Alfred, by the way. Alfred F. Jones. But I won't tell you what the F stands for, it's a secret." Alfred winked.

"That's…great," muttered Arthur. "My name is Arthur, Arthur Kirkland…" He scanned the broccoli for any shaped like a four-leafed-clover. He pointed at one that looked promising. "Could you put that head of broccoli in the basket?"

Alfred smiled, eager to help. "Sure!" He deftly picked out the broccoli Arthur was referring to, and in the light, the Brit could see it was just perfect. "Do you need anything else?" he asked, flashing perfectly white teeth at Arthur.

"Ah…er, not to be insulting, but, do you have nay cucumbers that are on the...withered side?" he asked. The boy's smile faltered. Arthur quickly added, "N-Not that it looks like you would have one, this seems like a fine establishment, it's just that the cucumber has to be withered for what I'm making, so I was just wondering if you had any…"

FMB giggled. "Arthur, you're so cute! You're blushing, did you know that?" The fairy nodded and laughed with FMB.

"Shut up!" snapped Arthur. "I am not! Y-You don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're not what?" asked Alfred hesitantly. It was then that Arthur remembered normal people couldn't see his special friends. The blood rushed to his face.

"S-Sorry. Never mind," he muttered, shooting a glare to the fairy and FMB. The unicorn rubbed his side with her nose encouragingly, making sure not to stab him.

"Uh…" Alfred didn't look convinced, but he decided it was a discussion for another day. "Well, all of our vegetables are of high quality…but on the way here this morning—you're not gonna believe this, you'll be like, 'Whoa! I'm so lucky! This is so exciting and amazing, Alfred! You're so cool, you've gotta be like, psychic or something! Wow, charming, handsome, and psychic! You're the perfect'—" At the look on Arthur's face, Alfred stopped. "Uh, so a bad cucumber got into the cucumber bin this morning, and it was all withered and stuff and we were going to throw it away, but you can have it if you want." He pulled the withered cucumber out of the bin.

"Could I see it, please?" asked Arthur. "It looks just right, but I need to check the length…"

Alfred laughed. "Sure!" He tossed it to Arthur, who fumbled with it for a bit and then pulled out the string to measure it. "This actually isn't my veggie stand, it's my brother's, but I always come along. He left awhile ago to buy some lemonade, though…wonder if he's okay…" Worry flitted across Alfred's face.

"I'm sure he's fine," said Arthur bluntly. "Ah, just right. Could you add it to the basket?" He handed it back to Alfred.

"Sure. That it?" he asked, smiling brightly again.

"W-Well…do you have any potatoes?" he asked hopefully. To his slight dismay, Alfred shook his head.

"Sorry. Ma doesn't like 'em, so we don't grow 'em. So, besides the potatoes, is that all you needed?" He pulled out a calculator from inside the cart and started to total up Arthur's vegetables.

"Er, yes, I suppose so. How much do I need to pay?" asked Arthur, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

"Well, it's five pounds…but you know what, for you, it's free," said Alfred, winking again. FMB and the fairy burst into another fit of giggles at Alfred's wink and Arthur's fiery face.

"W-What?"

"Just meet me here again next week, okay? I can see Mattie coming now, but remember, come this time next week!"

Arthur was about to reply, but the unicorn pushed him out to the street again. Alfred had handed him his basket just as she did so, and once he was in the street, he was caught up in traffic and swept away.

Well. Although he hadn't found all of what he needed, he'd certainly found something interesting to make up for it.

AN: So, there you go. How'd you like it? You can tell me in a review, if you want. (Also, please take the poll on my page! It mentions a Hetalia story, BUT IT'S NOT THIS. It's something else entirely. Message me if you want more information before voting.) Thank you! I'll post the next one sometime in the next few days!