It wasn't the whispers or sad faces in the crowd. It wasn't Mrs. Pillsbury asking students if they needed to talk. It wasn't even the way Azimio had stared at him during third period. It was the way Karofsky's mother had laid limp in the chair, sobbing her eyes out. The way his father sat there, motionless. It was just another teen suicide, but no one would care a week later. Not even the teachers. And that's what bugged Kurt the most of all. No one really cared. Just another boy.
And when he walked down the hallway, everyone was quiet. "...I heard he shot himself in the head." Kurt sighed and continued walking to Glee practice. "Oh yeah? I heard he jumped off of a roof." He couldn't believe how ignorant and nosy everyone was being. "No way. Someone told me he hung himself." Kurt rushed his way into the choir room and sat down next to Mercedes. "Hey, Kurt. Did you hear?" He sat his bag on the floor and scoffed. "Of course I heard," he rolled his eyes just as Mr. Schuester and Mrs. Pillsbury walked in. "The kids here are so fricken ignorant."
"Hello, Kurt. Mrs. Pillsbury wanted to know if maybe she could steal you for a couple of minutes?" Mr Schue smiled, politely. Kurt hesitated at first, but nodded at the small woman with ginger hair. He stood up and collected his bag once again, following Emma to her office.
Once they had sat down and were comfortable, she looked at him. "Kurt, I'm sure you've heard about what happened yesterday?" And he nodded, keeping his head down. "How do you feel about that?" she asked, picking up a note pad and a pen. He folded his hands and answered her honestly. "I don't know." She nodded and wrote something down. "Do you feel bad?" He cleared his throat, trying to defeat tears. "No." he lied. "You can tell me the truth, Kurt." He blinked his eyes, furiously. "I'm not lying." the boy snapped. She nodded her head and gave him a small smile. "If you need to talk, I'm here..." she extended her hand and touched his fingers in reassurance, something she'd never do regularly. This must be getting to her.
"Okay Kurt. You can go back to class.."
The whole day was just so stupid, in Kurt's opinion. None of this was anyone's business except for Karofsky's family. And yet, all the kids were throwing around rumors like it was nothing. This whole thing would be forgotten by next week and it was all just so wrong and sad. Kurt needed to be alone, but he knew if he were, he'd just cry. And he didn't want that at all. So, he decided to get coffee with Blaine. Maybe he'd feel better.
"So, how are you holding up?" Blaine asked as he sipped his drink. Kurt just sighed. "I don't know. It's really weird. I don't really understand-" Blaine put his hand on Kurt's. "I know," he smiled gently. "It's really confusing. He hurt you time and time again, yet all you feel is sadness?" Kurt took a deep breath and set his coffee down. "Can you read my mind?" He asked, wiping at his eyes. Blaine chuckled. "No, I can tell when you're upset." Kurt continued dabbing at his eyes as Blaine rubbed circles into the palm of his hand. "I just feel like-I don't know. I could have saved him?" And then Blaine shook his head. "He didn't want help. We tried. Remember? It was his hell to climb alone." Kurt sniffed and cleared his throat. "I know, but I just feel..so bad." he choked out.
The next day was hell. People were still talking about it. And Santana was in the middle, starting it all. "His girlfriend is so screwed now." Everyone looked at her. "Girlfriend?" Kurt muttered. She nodded. "How so..?" Finn asked. She got up and stood in front of them all. "So, she gets married to some rich guy," she paused. "And they have lots of babies and they shop at Sam's club and everything is sooo perfect." Quinn rolls her eyes. "But, then she remembers high school. And she's screwed mentally," she sat back down." "Because she will always be the girl whose boyfriend killed himself because he was a fag." Kurt's breath hitched at that. "God, Santana. You're so heartless." Tina said in disgust. "What?" she snapped. "You know it's true." Glee practice started and finishishes and his day goes on. And still. No one cares that Karofsky is gone.
Here are the things Kurt heard in the next week:
Karofsky actually had over dosed on his mom's heart meds. When they found him, he was laid out on the kitchen floor. All he wrote was that he was sorry. And that he was in love. Kurt also heard that he was in love with a boy in WMHS. And the most popular rumor, he was gay.
No one ever mentioned about him being gay at the funeral. Santana had brung it up afterwards, but Rachel almost kicked her for being so rude. Karofsky's mom had a tight mouth and small eyes as they watched the casket being lowered into the ground. His father had no expression as the preacher talked about his life. Kurt was crying. He didn't want to feel this pain. But, it was all over him. His mind was flipping. His heart was racing. He threw himself to the ground in sorrow. Azimio and Strando had to help him up. Burt was concerned. Carole had walked him back to the car, tears in her eyes. He sat in the back seat, crying. And then he just heaved a sigh.
"And even then, she'll still be the girl whose boyfriend killed himself because he was a fag."
Ps. No one knew if the boy from WMHS loved him back.