A/N: Hey, guys—you ever wonder what would happen if a Valley Girl, a Cowboy, and a Hipster miraculously fell in love with each other?

Well, I did. And this is the result of my wondering—a state fic, revolving around the pairing Texas/California/New York. *sigh* I know that threesome fics are kinda… er, controversial, but… I HAVE NO REGRETS :)

Review. Please. For the states :3

Disclaimer: I. DON'T. OWN. HETALIA.

1: Bikini

California modeled her new bathing suit in front of her two guests, not at all shy about how revealing it was. It was quite different from what they usually saw her in, though not so unusual for her. She wore this type of thing all the time, and although she would never voice it out loud, she always did love all the stares she received in comparison to all the other female states. But there was something about the way Texas and New York looked at her that made her blood boil, her stomach churn, her heart race. In all the best ways.

And when New York casually told her to take it off, she not-so-casually did so.

2: Dream

Before crossing the threshold into their new home, Texas grabbed California and picked her up, bridal style; New York, not wanting to be left out, jumped on Texas' back, wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist. But Texas did not mind; he was strong enough to carry them both.

3: Strength

Though New York was nearly half his size, Texas knew that the Empire State was just as strong (if not stronger) than he was—not that he would ever acknowledge it.

4: Kiss

California kissed New York. He tasted like rich spices, like corporate giants, like the whole entire world. His lips were hot against hers, to the point where it almost stung. His tongue rapidly entered and left her mouth— like other body parts would later—and he was very fast to the point where to made it hard for her to think.

California kissed Texas. He tasted sweet and smooth, his lips massaging over hers gently. When his tongue entered her mouth, he was far slower than New York, far more sensual, and California had time to remember to wrap her arms around his neck.

New York and Texas did not kiss. They simply were not ready to let their feelings for each other be known, though California held onto the hope that they someday would be. Tomorrow, perhaps.

5: Fangirl

Texas took off his shirt, and New York couldn't help but stare. He studied the landscape of the other State's torso, each knot of muscle, his stomach hard and rippling, no visible blemish anywhere, and New York knew how hard he must've worked all his life to gain such obvious strength.

He nearly sighed with adoration, before remembering who he was.

6: Curl

Both California and Texas sometimes eyed New York's ahoge curiously, both equally fascinated but for different reasons entirely.

California was interested because she could not, for the life of her, figure out how he got it to bounce and float, to defy gravity like it did.

Texas, however, eyed it for reasons far less pure. Unlike California, he knew exactly what that curl was, and… and…

He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. No, he told himself. He did not feel that way towards New York.

7: Brothers

California knew that someday, she would have to inform her brothers—Oregon, Washington, and Nevada—about her relationship with not only New York but Texas as well. And she figured that, once they stopped screaming and damning her to hell, they might actually want to get to know her two lovers. And she just knew that the five of them would get along wonderfully if given the chance.

8: Nature

The one thing that tied together New York and California—and more importantly, set them apart from Texas—was the fact that they were open to anything, new idea's, new ways of life. Both of their world views had changed so much over the years, and what made Texas different was that his had remained relatively the same. He was still the conservative, Christian traditionalist that he had always been, and all the fundamental principles that he had grown up with still played a very vibrant role in his life. He had no idea how they could have every forgotten them.

But even so. With each passing day, it was getiing harder and harder to hold himself back.

Deny. Suppress. Forget.

"Hey there, Texas!" New York called out to him, and it took every ounce of his willpower not to turn around and… and—

Deny. Suppress. Forget.

"…Texas?"

Can't. Can't. Can't.

9: Scar

New York slowly undid Texas' cufflinks and rolled his sleeves up, and there he saw for himself that the rumors were true, how Texas had so brutally tried to end himself. In turn, Texas raised his hand and, fingers trembling slightly, touched the still-healing wounds that ran all across his chest and arms, all the crime and poverty and gang violence that seemed to engulf the smaller state at times. He was touching New York though his clothes, but when the Empire State asked, "Wanna see up close?" and began to unbutton his shirt, Texas did nothing to stop him.

10: Spy

California finally realized why Alaska and Hawaii so adamantly praised male-on-male love when she stumbled upon New York and Texas kissing each other desperately in one of the back rooms of her house. New York had his shirt off, and Texas had his sleeves rolled up, and California could only marvel at how quickly the two had opened up to each other.

A few minutes later, when Texas hooked his thumbs on the hem of New York's pants and began to slide them down, California finally figured that it was time to make her presence known. She cleared her throat, they turned around, and their life together began.

11: Mornings

New York slept peacefully for the first time in years after their first night together. His hair lay across his pillow, endearingly disheveled and still limp with sweat. His face was sticky with dried tears, and the sheets which he used to cover himself pooled around his waist, barely covering his vital regions. California and Texas looked at this, at each other, and then back to him; and they knew, their third party was still beautiful, no matter what anyone said.

12: Stare

New York could all but physically feel their stares, and that, above all, is what woke him up that first morning. He smiled sleepily at them, his expression slightly dazed. And despite what they had done to each other the night before, he unconsciously spread out the covers a bit to conceal himself from their probing eyes. California, however, would have none of that; she ripped them away completely a second later, explaining that there was no need for that kind of privacy anymore.

13: Tell

New York had no idea how he was going to tell Connecticut, New Jersey, his governor, about his relationship with both California and Texas, both a woman and a man; but after much deliberation, he finally reasoned that it was his business and his alone, and that they simply did not need to know.

14: Consequences

They could maybe go to Houston or Austin and get away with their handholding, but consequences would be severe at best should they ever reveal anything in the rural areas of Texas.

15: Indifference

So, whenever they really wanted to flaunt their status', they would go over to San Francisco or New York City, where no one would bat an eyelash at a Cowboy, a Valley Girl and a Hipster all but grouping each other under the city lights and street lamps.

16: Pale

When she showed them the whip she would be suing on them that night, she just loved how both their faces turned the most adorable shade of stark white.

17: Blue

Blue was such a pretty color. It was California's second favorite, after pink. It was the color of the sky, of water, and of New York's face when she choked him in bed.

18: Drive

Texas would fuck him, then California would ride him, and no one could ever figure out why New York refused to sit down at some State gatherings.

19; Memory

California could remember how New York's face would twist, his head back, moaning in the agony of pleasure as Texas thrusted into him relentlessly, muscles bunching together and sweat beading at his hairline. She would think about it the morning after, and her stomach would flip, but she'd think about it again. She almost never forgot, and on the rare instance in which she did, well, that was when the pictures she took came in handy.

20: Awkward

Puerto Rico walked in, saw California, New York and Texas doing things to each other, and promptly walked out before anyone ever knew he was there.

21: Lick

Texas sucked on his lollypop. New York stared. Texas finished his lollypop. New York told him to get on his knees. Texas grumbled in annoyance, but obeyed all the same.

22: Loyalty

They were America's best known states, they knew and reveled in it. But in the end, they all knew that they were just part of the bigger picture, what made the hero of the world so great. They didn't blame him, didn't try to go against him in. No matter what, they would always love the United States of America.

23: Vision

They all had visions of a perfect world, where they were all powerful and the other State's knew their strength. They wanted what everyone else wanted, the only difference between them and the rest of the America being that they would actually go out and pursue it.

24: History

One day, California wondered aloud, "You guys ever, like, totally wonder what our governor's would think?"

Texas shrugged. "Mine wouldn't care. And even if he did, it's not like I would give a damn."

New York and California both flinched; it was hard to get used to the way Texas talked about his boss, though he often told them that he wouldn't mind, as he had often referred to him in the same light. Though God help anyone else who dare insult his boss in the same way (or insult anything Texan, for that matter).

California turned to New York. "You?"

The Empire State snorted. "Dude, not a single fuck would be given by Giuliani, I am telling you. He may be a Republican, but hey," New York shrugged, "If you're gonna be my governor, you gotta learn how to tolerate things like controlled substances and orgies, something that he's actually done fairly well, to his credit."

Texas raised an eyebrow to California. "And what about you?"

California wondered about it for a moment, before deciding that, "I think that Swartzy-babe would think of it as a bit strange. Like, he'd discourage it, be all overprotective and whatnot, but… eh, I guess he'd eventually, like, turn a blind eye to it or something. What else can he do?"

It was true; as long as they belonged to America, then their boss' could do nothing to stop them. There could be no breaking of ties among States who all belonged to the same entity. In that respect, they were very fortunate.

25: Epic

"Fuck Pennsylvania. She isn't the most epic state in New England—I am!"

"Right."

"Totally."

26: Admit

"Louisiana been pissing me off lately." Alabama fumed.

"Mmm," Texas hummed absently. His indifference went unnoticed.

Alabama crossed his arms. "She can just be such a dumbass sometimes, you know?"

Texas shrugged. "Just give 'er some time. Katrina hit 'er hard. She'll come around, just ya wait and see."

Alabama rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, the perpetually single State giving me relationship advice. I must really be getting desperate."

"… I've been with California 'nd New York for the past five years."

Alabama's head whipped around to look at Texas, who was blushing red at the tips of his ears for having finally let his secret out. But it felt good to be honest for once.

So the next day, he told Florida. The day after, Missouri. After that, Tennessee. And it wasn't long before the entire South knew.

27: Truth

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Nebraska backed away from Texas, as if he had some sort of contagious virus. Her hands dropped to her sides, and she let out an exasperated sigh. "…really?"

Texas scowled; she really was beginning to get annoying. "Yes. Really."

"You, out of all people, I never would've expected…" Oklahoma allowed himself to trail off, allowing silence to say more than petty words ever could. Texas dropped his gaze to the floor, his brother's silence suffocating him.

Kansas crossed her arms. "Well, honestly, I'm not surprised."

Texas looked up. His sister had an unreadable expression on her face, placid and calm, with her eyes holding some kind of… judgment? Condemnation? Or was that acceptance? He didn't know for the life of him. Kansas repeated, "I'm not surprised."

And the four siblings left it at that.

28: Never

"Like, let me go."

California said this in a quiet tone, firm but still no louder than a whisper. Her eyes were cold and closed off for once, making her seem emotionless, like a woman made of stone. She repeated her command in a slightly louder voice, as the two others didn't quiet seem to understand. "Let me go."

"No."

She wasn't sure which one of them said this, but did it really matter in the end?

29: Hold

"To have and to hold, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you all shall live…"

"I do."

"I do."

"Like, you bet your ass I do!"

30: Danger

Oregon backed away until he hit the wall. The tears had slipped out of his eyes before he slid down to the floor.

Nevada was struggling to keep Washington back, the furious State spewing profanities and threats to New York and Texas but most of all to California (despite everything, their cultures were all much the same: the woman was always more at fault). Nevada had his arms locked around Washington's torso and upper arms, but their brother was gaining momentum as his anger rose, and he knew that he would not be able to hold him back for much longer.

New York stood with both his arms outstretched, Texas and California behind him. He waited calmly, his mouth shut for once, for Washington to calm down so they could resume more civilized talk. Behind him, Texas cracked his knuckles, his neck, got himself mentally prepared; if Nevada lost control of Washington and the latter State attacked, then he would be ready to defend his two lovers.

California stood there, eyes cast downwards, not wanting to provoke her brother any more. She wasn't surprised, in the slightest, by Washington's reaction. The reactions of her two other brothers, however, caught her off guard: she knew that Oregon wasn't the confrontational type, but she expected him to at least be angry, not sad the way he was. And Nevada was actually defending her. She supposed that one enraged brother was better than three, but still...

As expected, Washington got loose, the three dug their heels into the ground, and thus New York, California and Texas endured their first bashing. Fists flew, blood was shed, and Oregon screamed at the top of his lungs for help that never came.

None of them knew it then, but it would be the first of many attacks aimed at them just for being together.

31: Paranoia

New York was fine and confident in everything in New York City and Long Island. But when he was alone in his Upstate, he always walked a bit faster than necessary, always watched his back, waiting for the day he'd be attacked and beaten to a pulp by his own citizens. Things weren't the same in Upstate New York, not by a long shot, and it was at this point that he almost regretted making his relationship with both California and Texas a well-known fact. He almost regretted it.

Almost.

32: Coy

"Texas… do you love me?"

The Southerner flinched when he heard New York ask him the unexpected question. The other state was staring down at his shoes, shy for once, and he looked downright pitiful. Texas sighed and gave him a simple, if not a bit ambiguous, answer:

"Ya know the answer to that question."

And then Texas thought, maybe he was being too vague for him, until New York's curl transformed from its usual spiral shape into something that looked suspiciously like a heart. And Texas knew then that he need say no more.

33: Granted

On September 10, 2001, they had their worst argument. It pinned California and Texas against New York.

It was over some official matter, something to do with interstate commerce or the like. At most, they would normally only bicker over such matters, but this time was different. They had let it escalate to include personal matters such as New York's arrogance, emotional mood-swings, his possessiveness and his inability to trust. The two larger states yelled at the smaller for the majority of the argument, with New York simply keeping his head down and only defending himself on occasion. He seemed withdrawn on the evening of September 10th, lost in his own thoughts, worried about something, but the other two states failed to take noticed, so lost they were in their own anger.

"I just, like, totally hate you! To the max!"

"I swear, on the good Lord's name, I don't barely know why I sacrificed my morality for the likes of you."

New York looked away, eyes glazed over with some sort of unnamable emotion, and he didn't even flinch when the two slammed the door on their way out.

And then the next day…

34: Terror

Terror.

It would be the word that would become the centerpiece of America's vocabulary in the weeks to come, but on September 11, it would be the word to describe not only what was felt by every New Yorker, but also the embodiments of California and Texas.

"Texas, Texas, like, please, tell me that he picked up. Please, oh Gawd, let him pick up the phone!" California prayed through her tears, clutching her head, tearing out her extensions. Her face was a mess of smeared makeup, her skin blotchy and red, and she couldn't stop crying.

"Be quiet," Texas whispered. The news was on, and he stood blocking it from California. She had only seen just a few minutes of footage and was already hysterical; he knew that she wouldn't be able to take much more. Though, silently, he wondered if he even could. His pupils dilated as the second plane crashed into the second tower in an explosion of flames and smoke.

He had the phone to his ear, calling Albany. Ring. Ring. Ring.

California was crying and on the TV, people were screaming. Ring. Ring. Ring.

New York's laughter and beauty and diversity and flashing lights and monuments and his brown, brown eyes. Ring. Ring. Ring.

And the answering machine. Texas slowly pulled it away from his ear, and redialed. The Empire State was crumbling. Someone needed to pick up the phone.

"Texas," California came and grabbed his arm from behind, dragging him away from the TV and causing him to drop the phone. "We gotta go find him." She was whimpering, but in her eyes was a determination that could only be born of last resort's and strong convictions.

"F-Find 'im?" the Lone Star glanced to the TV once more, where those stuck on the higher floors of the Twin Towers began to jump out of windows and to their own deaths. "We can't go off tryin' to do somethin' like that. Look at it, look. We can't do it. We can't, we—"

"But he'd totally do it if it was one of us. A-And besides, like…" the Californian swallowed audibly, and whispered, "After all those mean things we told him yesterday, we kinda owe him, ya know?"

Texas knew the Bible well, and he knew better than anyone that God had the tendency to test people, just to see what they would do. Was this a test? Had God allowed all those angry emotions to come flooding out of the two of them, just to see what kind of reaction they would have to what could very-well be New York's demise?

He had no way of being sure, but if that were so, if that were really so—

"I just, like, totally hate you! To the max!"

"I swear, on the good Lord's name, I don't barely know why I sacrificed my morality for the likes of you."

What they both felt for New York was the furthest thing from hate as possible. And had he really sacrificed his morality, if all that he had done was in the name of love?

"Texas."

He turned back to look at California. He grabbed his car key's off the nightstand. "Let's get goin'."

35: Forever

His scar would run all the way from his collar bone to his left hip bone, horrible burns that would eventually heal but never really leave. New York was broken and battered and in the hospital, one of the few patients to actually come in, and he looked as though he should be dead. But, as always, New York had defied the odds.

"How you feeling, puppy?" California cooed as she ran her fingers through New York's bloodied hair. Through it all, he still managed to smile a bit, only for a moment, but couldn't muster up the strength to say much else.

"Yer scar'll be with ya forever," Texas told him. "Just like mine. It can be somethin' that bonds us."

To that, New York shifted his eyes to look up at California, as if asking, what about Cali? Texas smiled. "Well, I guess she can't have that bond with us, since she's never been scared."

California clicked her tongue, and began to roll up her shirt. New York's eyes widened in shock and Texas told her, "Damnit, California! Put your clothes there back on! Good God, there are nurses walkin' about, and New York here is hurtin', and you wanna have sex now?" he asked incurdiously.

"You're, like, a major idiot." California smiled, and pointed at her now exposed hip. "See these?"

Along her hips were stretchmark's that ran along her sides like highways. "These are, like, from my economy's downturn and my cities sinking and all the violence and forest fires. All these alone are totally not as ginormous as what happened to you guys, but, like, when they come all together they totally left me with these. I've got some ugliness, too. So, like, don't leave me out! Let's be bonded together, the three epicest states ever, 'kay? And we'll like always have each other's backs, and attract envy for miles around, and throw parties and have sex and just be awesome till the day all our shenanigans, like, totally cause America to collapse. Or something. Sounds like a plan?" She turned to look at New York. "So get better soon, 'kay? We need you. Like, what would the Epic State Trio be without New York?"

Texas rubbed the back of his head, a wayward grin stretching itself across his face. "Ya really do know how to give a great speech, California. In yer own way, I reckon."

And New York, he was smiling, grinning, his eyes shining. After all he had gone through, the horror of what had happened, he didn't know if he'd ever be able to smile again. And yet, here the two of them came along, and did it without even trying.

"Oh, and like, for the record, I'm totally sorry about all the shit I said the other day. Totally not cool. Forgive me?" California asked, batting her eyelashes and trying her best to look innocent.

Texas nodded. "Same here. What I said was 100% and purely out of anger, but even so, it ain't no excuse. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

New York could do nothing else but smile and give a thumbs-up with his good hand, and just like that everything was fine between them. But of course, in the grand scheme of things, nothing else was fine and they knew it. How could anything be fine after a day like 9/11? They knew that belonging to the hero of the world would have its drawbacks, that they might have to sometimes have to take the punishments that the villains dished out. And the three of them, as America's best known, would always be the easiest and most obvious targets.

"The three of us sure do make a cute couple! Wait… like, would that be the right was to say it? I don't want to sound like a friggen spazz."

Texas thought for a moment, before shrugging. "I donno. The only word I done thought up was 'threesome' but that sounds dirty."

"But, like, that's what we do all the time."

"I don't like the word 'threesome', though. I prefer the term 'love feast'."

"That totally sounds like some sort of jacked out Christian extravaganza!"

"Well, we're all Christian here, ain't we?" he took a step towards California, perhaps the bit of yandere that existed in Texas shining through at that moment. "Ain't we?"

New York smiled weakly, curling his toes, allowing all the chatter to drown out the immense pain he was still in. They were both idiots, but he loved them. He really did. He looked at them both. It's not everyday that people fall for each other as hard as the three of us. New York closed his eyes. Maybe we're kinda sorta lucky after all.

The Empire State closed his eyes, and allowed himself to drift off.

A/N: Finished. Review, please? I'm be your best frienddddddd :O