The Whole World Smiles with Yu

Disclaimer: If I owned Alex Rider, do you think I'd publish it on FFNET? No! I'd sell it for lots and lots of money! Unfortunately, by some twist of fate, the Powers That Be have decided that I shall not own Alex Rider, be super-rich or have that cute black and blue stripy heffalump I've always wanted… damn.

A/N: Well, yet another story. This one is dedicated to AresScarletRaven, who was anonymous and asked me about why he needed to go 'punk in the tropics'. Well, here's your answer.

Chapter 1

Our Hero's story begins high in the sky – on a plane. The plane was flying to a currently unnamed island which so happened to be in the middle of the English Channel.

Alex had been sent to investigate a new multimillionaire named Danny Yu, whom MI6 suspected of brainwashing people. The man claimed in his advertisements that he could 'make anyone happy'.

When perused by MI6 staff, the case studies seemed too good to be true. However, making people happy, whatever the cause, was of no concern to the Heads. The problem arose in the victims – that is, patients. All of them were either powerful or had strong connections to powerful people.

MI6 suspected foul play – that the Smile Man, as Danny Yu was called, was brainwashing his victims to do other, less legal things. There had been a string of reports of previous clients being implicated in assassinations, brazen robberies and multi-million-dollar white-collar crimes where they had suffered 'suicide-by-cop', thus being unable to relate how or, more importantly, why they had committed such crimes. Interestingly, some of them, as they lay in a pool of their own blood, still had beatific smiles and, despite the terrible pain and fear they must have experienced, whispered of how happy, truly happy, they were.

(OoO)

As the plane touched down, Alex noticed the island's environment was that of a tropical rainforest. The air was warm and sticky, with the promise of plenty of mosquitoes to add to Alex's discomfort. Large trees swayed lethargically in a tiny breeze, and the air was so thick it was hard for Alex to even think about moving quickly. He lowered himself slowly to the ground.

This was not Alex' idea of climate control. Warmer was good, yes, but not oppressively warm and sticky.

Since the island was nowhere near the equator, Our Hero asked the pilot how it could have a tropical climate. Pointing the dome above their heads that Alex had not noticed, the pilot told him that in order to get people as happy as possible, a 'happy climate' was required. The Smile Man had installed an artificial climate controller to achieve this.

Clearly, he lived in an air-conditioned part of the island. Either that or he was simply mad. The latter wouldn't come as much of a surprise.

(OoO)

On this mission, Alex was disguised as an emo – the saddest of the sad. He was pretending to be the son of a wealthy and reclusive business man who was never home to see his son.

The Smile Man welcomed him with a beaming smile. "Welcome, Gavrilo, to the Happy Isle. HI!" he let out a bark of laughter at his own joke.

Alex listened carefully to the Smile Man introducing him to the program. The man was eyeing him like a dog eyes its food. He offhandedly informed Alex of the weekly check-ups Alex would have with him, to 'see how he was going', and to 'have a little chat'.

Our spy shivered as he realised his first check-up would be in just one week.

(OoO)

At dinner, Alex chatted with some of the 'success stories'. They were all smiling, and many were creepily cheerful.

He didn't have anything against happy people, oh no, but these people were plain weird. He couldn't help but feel apprehensive every time they smiled an extra large smile at him, or broke into loud laughter for no reason. It didn't feel happy, the way they kept glancing at each other, as if sharing a private joke which was simply hilarious. It felt sinister.

Alex observed that they were also unnervingly devoted to their 'master'. They were how Hermione is to books, McGonagall to Dumbledore. They were robots; slaves. Mindless, hopelessly devoted robot slaves.

He was disturbed.

(OoO)

Later, while the Smile Man was giving a speech, he – smugly, noted Alex, as though he was showing off – ordered a 'success story' to catch a meat cleaver thrown at him. Apparently, it would show how happy and optimistic he had become. As our Hero watched, he noticed the man did not hesitate to catch, one-handed, the meat cleaver. By the blade.

He filmed the disturbing incident with the black sunglasses hanging from his shirt pocket – provided, naturally, by Smithers.