*To everyone who read this before I realized how stupid I was, I'm so sorry. I was so excited to get this posted that I didn't bother to check it. When I read the preview, my eyes almost crossed at the last part. It was all jumbled up and everything. So I had to delete the chap again and repost it. I apologize.*

Alrighty! This chapter is an all-Saku POV. You know how fast her mood changes so don't get shocked about the turn of events here. ^_^

It's like a finale on its own. But I think I still have a chapter set in Sasu's POV during their talk. Then I'm contemplating on putting an epilogue or something-I really, really wanted to have Itachi's POV before I end this so I think I'll have an all-Itachi POV for my epilogue, not so sure if I could do it though, life is pretty tough on me lately, I hate you reality, I hate you!

Anyway, enough about my love-hate relationship with reality. I want to give a warm thank you to those who reviewed!

illneverknow: Guess what? You made me grin like crazy again! You actually shed some tears? I'm so happy!

No worries on the date and time of your review, as long as you do actually tell me how the chapter went then its more than enough to make me want to write more.

Your reviews are very very very well appreciated! Love you to bits and pieces! ^_^

p.s. Me, a genius? Oh my God I love you so much! Thank you!

LilyVampire: Really? I'm happy my story actually sort of ahmm 'happens' in real life, its good to know that others relate to it.

So, what happened to that "guy" that you loved? Sorry if I'm prying too much. I was born a very very curious child. ^_^

Thanks for the review!

krtkuchiha: I danced on my chair while I read your review-well not really dancing but I did a sort of sway from side to side while grinning. My mom looked at me strangely so I caught myself, my eyes widened like saucers, I stopped my movement and slapped my forehead. You made me sooo happy!

Your review was more than a compliment! Thank you!

This chap has another internal debate but it would be Saku this time. Don't worry, you don't need to hit her because before she jumped to the wrong decision, Sasu finally stopped all nonsense and put some sense into their senselessness-oh no, I think I'm making no sense at all. See what your reviews do to me my beloved readers? But keep 'em coming, I don't mind looking stupid sometimes.

Yep! Raara loves the Rinrin who laughs and smiles a lot. And he's happy that she finally came to her senses and transformed back to her original self.

Our new angel's name is Chelmonde Staffaniah. She's really really small but her voice suggests otherwise. Once she's hungry, everyone in the house would know. lol

Kate Uchiha: Yep, she sounded insane alright. Karin and Saku sort of have a very mild case of bipolar disease, they's cry like there's no tomorrow one minute then laugh their hearts out the next. That's why our two stoic guys love them, they could express themselves without fear of judgment from others. Unlike them, who watch everything they say and do because they carry the burden of being watched by vultures due to their strict fathers.

I'm happy I made you laugh. ^_^

I want my own personal-Sasuke-slave too! But yeah reality hates us.

I tried making Sasu and Saku make out but I went "WTH if I was one of my readers I'd stop reading completely, I suck so bad it isn't even funny!" so yeah. But I tried, I really did! *-*'

Thanks a bunch for letting me hear/read your thoughts!

woodbyne: My friend once told me that it was my duty as her friend, to save her from awkward situations like what happened to Saku, she sort of gives me a short briefing each time we see/meet her crush/love, I laughed so hard when I remembered it that I just had to include it in the story. She's such a demanding little thing that I want to strangle her most of the time.

Sasuke-the-emotionally-repressed-douche-bag-who-can't-see-what-he-is-doing-to-his-best-friend doing. Now that's a title. I love it! It would be too long to wear it in his forehead though so maybe one of his friends-Naru most probably would make some sort of code, he'd make it "StERDBwcSwhiDthBF" and write it in pemanent ink on Sasu's forehead if he could have his way. That would be hilarious because Sasu wouldn't know what hit him,and he wouldn't understand what all those letters mean!

You are absolutely right. That's like their main problem. Because all of them got it right the first time but eventually over-analyze the situation and get it wrong. I guess lots of smart people do that most of the time. And instead of making the right choice, they make the wrong ones.

I totally agree with the slow blinking and cloudy eyes! I've seen it like lots of times and I laugh my ass off each time I do. My friends usually get back at me later when it is I, who'll be the lovestruck-girl-in-front-of-her-loved-one mode so its only fair. Man, I miss being in school and crushing on all the cute boys! ^_^

It might be obvious enough but I'll say it too. I totally love Itachi! That's why you guys could see snippets of him (and Shikamaru and Kiba) in most of the chaps. I squeeze him in if having his POV don't work. I love him that much!

I love how you quote something from the chap and then sort of dissect it, it makes me smile and then go "yeah woodbyne, you are absolutely correct!" Like the calming down and stuff. Yep, if I was a male and somebody would threaten my "big little guy" down down there, It would take more than a few people to stop me. But Sasu has an off button and Saku knows where it is, so Sasu doesn't have a choice but to calm down. WAaaahhh! I wanna have my own Sasuke, minus the bastard persona and his over possessive tendencies.

"I love how she still makes the mistake of calling him Sasucakes, and then swears because of it. It is so realistic, cuz I mean, if you've been calling someone a nickname for years, it's gonna take a while for you to stop, no matter how much you want to." My favorite part of the review! I personally think so too. You got how deep Saku's feelings are, and Sasucakes isn't just a name but a trademark, a symbol or something like that. Once it disappears, something sure is wrong and somebody would be in trouble for it. ^_^

Yep, our four "love fools" are wising up! In this chap, we'll see Sasu's so called upgrade from being a "StERDBwcSwhiDthBF" to a somewhat sweet guy.

Thanks for that wonderful review! So excited to see if the angst here satisfies you. ^_^

p.s. Our new angel is Chelmonde Steffaniah, she's really small but don't let it fool you, her voice is a lot larger than she is!lol

BadAssAlec: Sorry. ^_^

I have no cliffie this time so you don't have to hate me after reading this chap. lol

I personally like ShikaIno here. So the feeling is mutual. ^_^

Thanks for the review!

Thanks to Ichigochan Shall Eat Your SOUL (I love your pen name, btw) and LilyVampire for adding BttB to their faves/alerts list.

Italics: flashback

Italics underlined: sentences spoken in the past

Italics bold: SMS/text message

Naruto isn't mine.

Ever felt like a clown? Doing nothing but make a joke out of life? Just to make yourself smile despite all the anguish you're in? Waiting for someone to see you as something other than the lab partner/project genius/driver/confidante/adviser/buddy/chaperone a.k.a. the ever loyal bff will. Best friend for life: only seen as one and anything beyond that is considered a great felony.

"Are you ready Sakz? We need to get there before she does," Sasucakes was in my room, waiting for me to finish my shower. We were to surprise his redhead. Today marks the first month of them being together.

Truth is, I have finished my shower and even dressed myself already. I just needed to practice. I need to practice more.

I inhaled deep and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes still look kinda puffy and my nose still had the red tinge to it. I resorted to crying in front of Sasori-nii so he'd allow me to go out. After all, it IS a school night. It would have been easier of it was Kaa-san I would ask permission from, but she wasn't home.

Sasori-nii probably thought that I was just crying to get what I wanted. I did smile brightly after he said yes. I even skipped and sang a happy song while I was going to my room to shower. What he and everyone else didn't know was that I cried in front of him so I won't have tears left later, that it was painful to smile and hard to act all cheery in front of everyone. I could convince him (albeit it would be very difficult to do so) to allow me to go out, but I figured crying would empty my tear ducts. I don't need my tear ducts later.

I practiced my smile. It looked a little crooked and a little pained. I tried to chuckle, I sounded a little fake. This wont work! Smile Sakura, smile properly! Nothing's wrong, Sasucakes is your friend and you need to help him make his girlfriend happy, no matter how painful it is for you, you need to smile to show everyone that you're alright!

"Sakz?" There was knocking this time. Sasucakes sounded a little impatient. Wait for a bit Sasucakes, I'm doing this for you. I don't want you to worry about me, I want you to be happy and worry-free tonight. "Sakz, are you alright? What's taking you?" The knocking continued.

I sighed and tried again. I smiled adding more feeling to my eyes. It still didn't work. I still looked like I wanted to cry. I HAVE to do this! Why can't I do this? I smile all the time, I even laugh easily. Why can't I do it now?

"Sakz? I'm going in alright? You're decent, aren't you?" Oh yeah, he knows where I keep my keys.

I sighed and had a last attempt at laughing but I stopped on the last second.

"Sakz?" He stood behind me. I could see in his reflection that he was a bit worried. "Are you alright?" At least you're concerned of my wellbeing Sasucakes. That alone is enough for me to go along with this charade.

I smiled and nodded. All this smiling is straining my facial muscles. I laughed. "I'm okay Sasucakes! Now let's go and make your redhead happy!" I laughed again.

He raised a single eyebrow and sort of assessed me. "Are you sure you're fine? I don't want you to screw things up."

I swallowed the painful lump in my throat. Nope, he's not concerned for my wellbeing at all! He just doesn't want me to screw things up! So his surprise for his redhead would be perfect!

Can't you see Sasucakes? It's still difficult to convince myself that I can't have you anymore. That you are Karin's boyfriend. That you're not mine.

I still dream of you at night. Even though I try really, really hard not to think of you before I go to sleep. And each morning I wake up with a smile, because in my dreams, you were my prince, my knight in shining armour, my ninja protector, you loved me back and I already have my happily ever after. But after minutes of smiling at nothing I would cry. Because then REALITY would bite me back. Because then I would realize that I am a selfish person. Because then I would be betraying Karin, and I can't have that. Karin. What does she have that I don't?

I turned around and went outside. I couldn't take it anymore. The space we were in was suffocating me. I needed to get out. I breathed in deep, sighed, braced myself, and smiled.

Even without my mirror, I know it didn't work. I know I still look like a clown, frowning but is somewhat forced to smile because of the already smiling paint he has on his lips. "My face is broken," I covered my mouth with my hands. Oh shit! I said that out loud? I looked behind me; Sasucakes was playing with his set of keys. Good, he didn't hear me.

I tried to laugh again, more loudly this time. Great! I even sound broken! "Have I ever let you down Sasucakes?" He looked at me, nodded and went on outside.

I followed him out. "I'll take you home afterwards," I sighed again. I love his voice. He looked back at me and smirked. I love his eyes. I love his eyebrows? His nose, his lips, his- "Sakz?" sarcasm, his violent tendencies (You are a dipshit Dobe! No one appreciates a person who suddenly jumps at them! It is not my fault Sakz, don't glare at me like it's my fault! He should know better than to jump at me while I was holding a baseball bat!) , his moods, his volatile temper (Itachi you fucking bastard! Get the fuck out of my fucking room! You sick fucker!), the feel of his hair on my hands, his pissed off state (Sakura-chan? Why is Teme looking at me like he wants to murder me? All I did was kiss your hand? I wonder what he'll do if I kiss you on the lips?), the way he moves, the way he smiles that small smile of his, his confusion when he wakes up (Sakz? Why are you here? Weren't you at the kitchen making me riceballs? Why are you wearing you own shirt? Weren't you wearing my championship shirt a while ago?), how he allows me to stick butterfly tattoos on his shoulder (Do I have to do this? I look stupid Sakz!), how he eats the ice cream (then grimaces after taking a bite) that I love so much (What the hell do you like in this thing? Tch!), how he opens canned drinks for me (You are so fucking annoying Sakz! Don't you know anything? That is not the correct way to open that! Give me that can!), I love everything he does. I love him! I am in love with my friend! "Sakz, do the world a favor snap out of it. I hate it when you stare blankly at nothing," I am in love with my selfish, charming, perfectly sarcastic friend. I am soooo totally screwed!

Mr. fashionably sensitive but too cool to care, as Jewel would put it, would in one way or another sweep you off your feet. He's perfect in every way, even his nonsense talks and humorless jokes, and your only problem is going to be the biggest problem all your life-having him for yourself. And since he's currently in love with somebody, which is more often than not the case, except of course the instances when he's addicted to basketball/soccer or online games, you'd be listening to the stories that you've memorized and you'd have no time to execute your wicked plan of bagging him.

Chances come but you'd be too engrossed in watching his every move. Even the twitch of his wrist would enthrall you (which is pathetic of course). At first it would be fun but as time goes by you'd feel more and more alienated from his world. Every star would hear your prayer, but none would answer. Somebody else usually owns him. So you'd have to rest in pieces on one corner 'til he runs to you with some God forsaken story, which would break you again.

"You can DO it Forehead! Go already; your gorgeous raven won't bite! Just go already!" My overbearing PIG of a best friend was pushing me towards our TARGET.

He was currently brainstorming about something, his forehead wrinkled and sighing every few seconds. He was sitting under a tree near the goal post, legs bent Indian style, eyes glinting seriously, fingers clenching and wrist turning once in a while. I sighed, I love looking at his arms. The twitch in the muscles makes me wanna pinch it and see if it's as hard as it looks.

What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this.

"Pig, this isn't a good time! Look at him! He's obviously pissed about something!" Our target looked up and saw us. He raised an eyebrow and his position turned relaxed. His ramrod straight back gave a small slouch and his eyes, although I'm not really sure about this one, became soft.

No, that's just not right. Sasucakes' eyes don't turn soft. It's either they go hard as steel or blank with apathy, at least that's what everyone says. So I must be wrong, must be hallucinating each time I see some sort of softness in his eyes. I sighed and remembered all the times I wished on stars for him to fall for me. I guess all that wishing is making me believe that his actions mean something else. I'm putting meaning to his actions! Assuming that he feels something for me though he obviously doesn't! Arrgghhh! I hate myself!

"Sakz, Nara's girlfriend," he nodded his head. I smiled. Nara's girlfriend eh?

"Shut up Ice Princess!" I laughed at Ino's pissed reply. Sasucakes looked at me and smiled a little, I love seeing him smile. "Anyway, we are here to ask your opinion," the stupid Pig pushed mo towards him. The nerve! "Does Forehead look better now, or does she look less horrific before she had her hair cut?"

He stared at me without saying anything. I fiddled with my fingers and looked down. Geesh! I'm acting like Hina when we were in grade school! He hummed and I looked at him again.

"What exactly do you want me to say Mrs. Nara?" Ino-Pig hates it when people make it sound like she's Shika-kun's property. I chuckled. I love it when Sasucakes tries to piss Pig off. It makes me want to go 'Take that Forehead! That's what you get for bullying me biatch!'.

Pig growled a little and huffed. "You do know that I hate you right?" I laughed. Oh love you Sasucakes!

"With a thousand burning suns Deer-girl?" Pig screeched and I laughed some more.

"You are nothing but a good for nothing pretty boy Uchiha! Arrgghh! Why do girls like you so much?" I continued laughing. I only stopped laughing when Pig got all quiet.

I glanced at her. She was looking intently in front of us. She's looking at Sasucakes. Huh? Why is that? I looked back at Sasucakes. He was looking at me. I don't see anything wrong, why the heck is Pig staring at him like that?

Sasucakes shook his head, his hair following his movement. He put his hand behind him and stood. It was a few seconds before I realized that I was still staring at his hands. "-transfixed Sakz? Is there something wrong with my arm?" I looked up, oh of course not Sasucakes, just that I like looking at it, not to mention I like looking at your hair, your eyes, your nose- "Are you alright? Seriously, you hang out with the Dobe too much. I'll take you home today, and don't go near him. He's turning you into a female him," he came closer and I held my breath but failed. He smelled sooo freaking good! "I have to go, I have to pick up Yakumo from class."

My shoulders slumped and I sighed. Yakumo is what, his third 'girl' for the month? Or is it the fourth. I sighed again. Why oh why does he have to do this? I mean I understand that Karin broke him but isn't dating tons of girls in a month going a little overboard?

"Forehead? Who the hell is Yaku-what's her face?" I felt Pig standing in front of me. I was looking at my hands. She held my shoulders and laughed. "Oh come on, smile! Did you see his expression? He smiled when he looked at you, he looked happy to see you!"

"Yeah right, if he did then why didn't I see it Pig?" I swear this is going no where! "For all I know, you're just saying that so you could make me a life sized doll or something!" She had been trying to make me look different for the past few days, so Sasucakes would 'notice' me.

"You didn't see it cos you were too busy laughing your face off when your good for nothing imaginary boyfriend was making fun of me that's why!" I covered her mouth.

"Shut up Pig!" She glared at me and I let go.

I watched as Sasucakes walked towards the school building.

Are you alright Sasucakes? Sometimes I feel like I don't know you anymore. You've become really different after what Karin did. Why are you doing this? You're hurting me when you act all cold and contained sometimes. And what's with all these girls and all the parties you go to? You used to stay at home most of the time. Now, I could barely see you each time I visit your house.

And it hurts every time I see you with them. It hurts every damn time!

I'm tired Sasucakes. I'm tired of hiding what I feel. I'm tired of pretending to be alright when everything you are doing is tearing me to pieces. I want you back. I want my old Sasucakes back. Come back to me. Please.

The pieces of you become smaller and smaller 'til it becomes too smashed for repair. Being numb would come in handy in situations which needs sufficient power not to break down and cry in front of him. By this time you're already a master of this craft so it won't be a problem at all. Breathing would be a luxury but there's always the good old "I gotta use the ladies room" excuse.

"Sakubabe? Are you in there?" Oh my god no! Please don't let it be so! I hurriedly stood up from my bed and ran to my bathroom. My eyes are still puffy! Shit! "Sakubabe," Karin was saying my name in a singsong voice now. If I don't get out soon enough, she'll barge in uninvited for sure! I can't have that!

I washed my face. Maybe she'd think that the tear stains were from the water I used. No, she won't think that. The tearstains disappeared when I washed my face. Sheesh! This is making me dumb!

"Sakz?" What the hell! NOOOOOOO! "Sakz we are coming in alright?" I heard my door open and I sighed. I hate it when this happens.

Karin and Sasucakes have the habit of lazing around in my room once or twice a week. They were here yesterday and I haven't cried enough yet! Why are they here now? Can't they like come back tomorrow or like never come back for good?

When I got out of my bathroom Sasucakes already had his face buried in one of my pillows. Karin was looking through my DVD case.

Sasucakes looks tired. Is he alright? His back looked really tense. I approached the bed and sat beside him. "Sasucakes?" He inhaled but other than that there was no response.

"I know! We could watch your favorite movie Sakubabe?" I glanced at Karin and saw that she was holding my favorite DVD. "So you're sure to watch it with us," somebody groaned. I smiled despite the ache in my throat. "No complaints Sasu! Sakubabe went out last time because you chose to watch that gruesome movie!"

Great! I have to watch it with them? No freaking way! "No it's alright Karin, he can choose any movie he likes, I have to do something in the kitchen anyways," I smiled a REALLY painful smile and stood up. "Ahmm have fun?"

I was about to leave the room when Sasucakes talked. He turned his head sideways and gave me an assessing glance. "Since when did you leave your room earlier than nine in the morning Sakz? You hate getting up early," he looked so at ease lying there face down in my bed that I wanted to smile." Now quit it with the kitchen crap and stay here, we are watching A Walk to Remember," I gaped at him. What the hell! Demanding much?

"No really, it's no problem at all!" I have a very bad feeling about this!

"No, you are staying here. I do not want to throw you out of your own room. And Karin bought you milk chocos, it's in the red shopping bag, you can eat it while we watch" I sighed and looked down. Karin grinned and went to start the movie. She sat down beside Sasucakes on my bed and I opted to sit below it, right in front of the TV, so that I couldn't see them and pay more attention to the movie.

When we got to the middle of the movie, I could here Karin moaning her boyfriend's name. I started to take deep breaths but I was feeling like the air was choking me. I have schooled my features to look like there was nothing wrong. I was so good at it that I wanted to hate myself. I didn't know being numb was still painful. There was nothing wrong with my face, except for my eyes. No matter what I do the tears kept on coming. I wanted to bolt because it feels like my shirt is suffocating me. I couldn't talk because my throat hurt so badly and I have a feeling that my voice would crack if I do.

Keep it down you two! Can't you see that I'm busy picking up broken pieces of myself! I can't concentrate with you creating all those noises! Give a girl a break will ya!

ARRGHH! Why am I in this situation again? Oh yeah, I had to fall in love with an extremely controlling person who won't take no for an answer!

"Sasu!" Oh fuck! I can't take this anymore!

Why am I still here? I inhaled deep, and trying to control the tremble in my voice I spoke, "I gotta use the ladies' room," I stood up and bolted out of my room. I went straight to the powder room in the hall and locked myself inside. I cried and cried. I screamed, covering my face with the towel to muffle the sound I emit.

When I was calm enough, I thought for a moment. I had my own bathroom in my room, why the hell did I use this one! I just had to be so freaking obvious! God I'm so stupid! Why? Why does this have to happen to me?

He acts like a total jerk 99% of the time, but still you wait for the rare 1% (which happens like once in a blue moon) to happen. And when this time comes you'd be in cloud nine only to bounce back to hell when you realize he's being nice coz he has someone new and he feels so damn good even his usual mood is changed. But you're willing to experience the pain (masochist much Forehead?) coz it's more important to see him happy, even though this would mean bleeding on your part. Still you'd say "Really? I'm happy for you Sasucakes", but all you want to say is "Stop it please! Can't you see I'm bleeding here?"

There are other people of course. But you'd end up comparing them to him (Seriously Forehead stop it! If I was Sai I'd break up with you with the number of mistaken identities you've done to me. His name is Sai, quit gasping out your imaginary boyfriend's name when you're with him!) and you'd realize that it would be useless to direct your attention to others, and it sucks when you finally found someone new, then he comes to you and makes you fall for him again (e.g. being nice, smiling that oh so gorgeous smile of his and doing the things that make you weak in the knees, and smelling so damn good it hurts your nose!) and you'd end up confused.

Ok. Sometimes you'll feel good, like you're in heaven or something. Though you're dead tired; his presence alone rejuvenates you. He can be a jerk but still you know there's 'something good' inside him. Being with him is exciting, even though you have no exchange of words. There are times you'd miss his 'overprotective' ways and his sarcastic quirks. Though he hurts you 99 percent of the time, you still have 1 percent of happy memories together. So, being stupid with him is kinda worth it sometimes. Since you'll have something to hold on to and laugh about when you're alone (Did you take your anti-psychotic meds Sakubabe? You DO know that laughing at nothing in particular makes you look crazy right?).

Sometimes you'd wish you'd get dead drunk so you could sort of have the confidence to confess. Drinking sessions come in but you'd be forced not to join the fun when he's around. Scared you'd goof off like the other girls. You'd get good old spanking from him if you get drunk too! You're supposed to be his long lost sister! You should behave accordingly. DUH! He's the only one claiming that anyway so you can still fantasize you and him living in a house near the beach, with windows overlooking the mountains. Spending waking hours with him would really be wonderful, glorious even. But then when you realize it's not gonna happen, you'll sulk again. Goodbye happiness, hello depression.

Funny though that when you talk or argue about little things, it'd be "Your fault Sakz! Why the hell did you go to that part of the water! It was fucking deep and your legs are fucking tired from practice! Are you trying to kill yourself?" But when it comes to major things, he usually takes the blame, or at least finds ways to make it up to you in small ways. He goes 'hn,' and accepts whatever it is that you throw at him (verbally and physically). But if you'll dig deeper, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He hates having have to deal with the pissed off you (or the mute, unsmiling, angry, violent version of you in some cases) and would remain stoic and act uncaring but his eyes have a certain shine when he looks at you, making you doubt if he really cares or not.

He acts tough (or at least tries to act tough) during difficult times, like he's superman or something. You'll feel like he's amazing, nothing could stop him and he's invincible. And then you'd dream and wish on stars again, for you to be his Achilles' heel, his weakness.

You'll feel extremely special thinking that he only ever 'crumbles' with only you around too, like he trusts you enough to allow you to see his weakness. And there you go, falling deeper and deeper into him.

Forgiveness? What's the true meaning of the word? You'd learn it as time goes by, since he's done so many awful and hurtful things to you. Though he appears clueless of what he did, still it pains you. But just one hello and you'd forgive whatever it is that he did, even though it took you weeks to stop yourself from crying because of what he's done.

When he's away, instead of saying 'wish u were here' or 'I miss u' (Sakura-chan? I didn't know you favor listening to Incubus' songs? Teme's rubbing off on yah!) you'd end up saying nothing at all. You'll spend minutes staring at your phone, figuring out how to end the dilemma of delivering the SMS you want to send or deleting it instead. You usually end up deleting the damn message coz you know you'll never get a reply. That's how pathetic you'll be.

There are occasions wherein you'll be invited/forced by him to accompany him somewhere. You'd go "I feel good!nanananananana..I knew that I would!". You'd scramble to your feet, find a good excuse so your mom (and brothers!) will let you out late and savor the moment you have with him. Even though you know the turnabout of this situation-you, crying yourself to sleep. Coz when you get together and talk about serious stuff, you'd end up talking about his long array of girls, and like you never had enough, you'd listen to his unending complaints about the complicated species called females. You should just build yourself a monument and place it in the town park together with all the martyrs.

"I told you about her last week," I looked up from the rough draft of our school paper and raised my glasses upwards; it was starting to slip with all the writing/typing/drawing I've been doing. I was on my bed face down on my current headache-inducer. The letters were swimming in my eyes because Sasucakes kept on moving beside me.

"Sasucakes, quit moving around I beg you!" All the rough drafts of the articles I printed were surrounding me on my bed and I could hear lots of them being torn apart because of all his excessive moving around.

I don't understand why he likes to talk to me about his girls. It's not like I ask him about them. In fact, I don't even want to THINK about them, much more HEAR about them! It's like he's making me jealous or something. But that's just plain wrong. Why would he make me jealous?

And they're pretty redundant too. They usually have red hair or if not, they would have jade orbs. I couldn't help but imagine that he likes green eyes, I blinked. I have green eyes Sasucakes! And my hair isn't that far from red, it's just a shade lighter. It even looks red in the dark sometimes! It looks kind of red when it's wet too! I touched my hair. Why does it have to be pink? If it had been red like Sasori-nii and Nagato-nii's then I could invite all of Sasucakes' girls in one room, position the girls with the green eyes in the right side, the girls with the red hair at the left and stand in the middle. And then tell him that I have BOTH the things he's fond of physically. Then maybe he'd realize that he likes me.

It would really be nice for you to look at me sometimes Sasucakes. REALLY look at me. Like how a guy looks at a girl. I'm blind to everyone and everything when you're around; you're the only one I see. It's only fair for you to look at me, even for just a second, even for only a short while. It would make me really happy.

But given a choice, I wouldn't want you to only like me physically. I want you to appreciate me in a deeper aspect. Like how I adore you. You'd be a complete ass but I'd still love you. Even if you got an accident and would look like a horribly disfigured alien, I'd still smile everyday and give you the best of me. But you don't see that, you're too busy juggling your time for your girls. You don't even have time for me sometimes.

Before, you would be the one to wait for me and take me home (Sakz are you done yet? We've been here for hours! I told you to ask Lazy-Boy and his vain girlfriend for help but nooo, you just had to deny my proposal and do it yourself! Why the hell are you so stubborn?) when my responsibilities in school make my life a living hell, not that I don't appreciate Nej and Tennie taking me home instead of you but all the strain from school disappears when you smile at me Sasucakes. I feel abnormally high when I'm with you. You're like my anti-stress drug. And you make me laugh too, in a completely different way. I love myself when I'm with you, that is if we don't talk about you're experienced girls, coz if we do, then I'd hate myself coz I always end up crying my eyes out.

"Which one was she, the one in the little black dress?" He smirked. "The one with that severe case of ADHD," he chuckled, that girl was really borderline crazy! "or the one with the small pink dog? You do know that polygamy is frowned upon right?" He stared at me for a moment, seemingly gauging my reaction before answering me.

"I don't get it, is that it? That's your reaction to all this?" How am I supposed to react then Sasucakes? Cry and yell at you for telling me your love (I do NOT believe in love Sakz, so shut it with all the love crap) life? "And I don't understand why she had to dye the poor creature's fur. Why do you girls do that?" Oh he's a bit talkative today huh. "Why do you like to torture people?"

"I didn't know you liked animals Sasucakes," he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Now, shut up and let me concentrate, I need to submit this to Tsunade-sama by this afternoon. Not all of us can spend the day frolicking in the sun with our unusually large number of girlfriends, gods Sasucakes you are such a polygamous pig," he chose not to comment on what I said and stayed silent beside me.

After a few minutes of silence he stood up, sighed and turned around. "Fine, I'll just sleep the day away," he took a tour around my bed before stopping. "Where is your red pillow Sakz?"

I waved a hand and answered him. "It's in the living room; you brought it there for your nap granpa. Sheeesh! I cannot believe you forgot already! You drooled on it minutes ago!" more papers were torn apart with his movements. This is exactly why I banned him from my bed this morning! ARRGHH! How am I ever going to get this done if he destroys the fruit of my hard labor! ARRGHH!

"I did no such thing. And since you are beginning to act like an old witch, I will kidnap your favorite pillow and bring it to your guestroom. It will be my hostage. You shall be informed about the ransom later," I pretended to ignore him and continued my task, it was really difficult to hide my smile. I love his mood when he just woke up; he's more playful than normal.

The sound of my mobile phone woke me up from my musings.

MESSAGE FROM SASUCAKES: READ?

I smiled and clicked ok. It read "Onigiri, with lots of tomatoes. Without it, your beloved red pillow will die a gruesome death!" I laughed. I just love just-woke-up-Sasucakes!

Spending years of trying to forget him gets you nowhere. And enjoying your time with him doesn't hurt (at least that's what you're trying to show/trying to tell yourself). Being with him is like having a double edged sword. The other side heals and the opposite side wounds. You're happy but you're sad at the same time. Knowing he chose you to share his important issues lifts you up, but those issues hurt you bad that it brings you down again (I think I know what you mean about losing something important Sakz, I cant believe Karin did that to me).

It's weird and confusing.

It's weird because when you know the end of something great is coming, you want to hold on. Just for one second. Just so it can hurt a little more. Just so you can feel the pain and know that it's true.

And it gets confusing how long you will be in love with the person whom you've shared special moments with cause everything is just SPECIAL, but not OFFICIAL. I'm one step shy of becoming your girlfriend Sasucakes, I've been your best friend since forever. I'm always second in line, I want to step up and be the first for once. I want to be your number one girl (except for Mikoto-san of course!). No, scratch that. I don't want to be your number one, because if you have a number one, you're sure to have a number two. I want to be your onlyone Sasucakes. Just like how you're my only one.

But I have to say goodbye now, I've been delaying this long enough. You're talking and I don't even understand what you're talking about. I keep getting lost in your eyes and think of all the things we've shared. Just like how a dying person could see his life flashing in his eyes just before his last breathe. So this is how it feels to finally say goodbye.

"-feel like this Sakz," I sighed. I have to do it. Say I love you and then walk away with a smile and never look back. "-logize for taking too long to say this," apologize. Yeah I apologize for delaying this.

Please know that you are not only a special part of me Sasucakes. You are my life. And I have decided to end my life to make you happy.

"I love you Sasucakes."

"I love you Sakz."

And then there was silence. And it went on and on and on and on.

I could hear a faint 'foolish little brother' remark from somewhere but that's not important and wait, I'm confused, I don't get it.

What were we talking about? Sasucakes was blushing. I gaped at him. I could feel the cogs in my brain slowly turning again. He had said something so important that made my brain halt all activity.

Hold up! Freakin' pause and freakin' rewind. Did he just say he loves me? NO FREAKING WAY!

"What? Are you crazy Sasucakes?" He can't do this! "You can't freakin' DO this to me! I've decided to forget you godflammit! I wanted to end all this and say goodbye! I was gonna say goodbye while smiling too! How could you freaking do this to me! I planned and planned for this day! I spent a week, a WEEK Sasucakes! Thinking of ways to go about this situation! Contemplating about what to do with you and this stupid feeling I have for you made me emo you bastard! And I was all emo for a freakin' WEEK! I could have spent that week doing something productive but nooooo, I just had to make plans on how to finally, FINALLY after more or less a DECADE of trying, a DECADE godflammit! Finally say goodbye without crying and going all weak in front of you! And now you're saying you love me too? Are you freakin' mental! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME GODFLAMMIT!"

There were faint voices at the back of my head but I didn't pay attention to it.

"Gods Sasucakes! Don't you dare play with my feelings you arrogant bastard! I am going to kill you once I get my hands on something sharp and pointy!" He smiled that smile that I love so much and his eyes were happy. I inhaled. I need to breathe! "Stop looking at me like that! You're making me forget how to breathe godflammit!" He laughed and I gaped at him again.

"Who said anything about playing Sakz?" What? No. you can't be serious!

"You can't be serious? How could you say that? I'm a klutz, I look weird-I have pink hair for crying out loud, my forehead's enormous and I can't breathe properly when you're around! Don't come near me, I have to talk first! I change topics faster than a bullet and I think I have a pseudo bipolar disease or something!"

I'm making no sense at all! I walked backwards and it was hard concentrating when he's looking at me like that. Is this for real? He looks so sincere it's scaring me. I can't do this. What if he gets tired of me? I'm boring and plain. I can't have him, he's perfect. What could I possibly give him except headaches and problems? We could be happy but could that last? What if he'll get bored and leave me like a hot potato like all his exes?

"Sakz, what are you so afraid of?" I finally stopped and looked up. He was smiling down at me.

He figured it out.

"Yeah but. Sasucakes, I'm not perfect. I-" he stopped my upcoming speech by covering my mouth with his lips. My eyes almost bulged out of their sockets before I shut them and grabbed his shirt. I tiptoed a little and I felt him smile. The kiss was short and sweet and it was perfect.

I was still dazed when he talked. "Don't try to make yourself perfect for me. I love you and every single imperfection you have," oh shit my knees are melting! Is this really Sasucakes talking?

"What was that? I wanna hear it again baby Sasu-chan! Make it a little louder so it would register well in the video," was that Mikoto-san? I tried to turn around but Sasucakes' hold on me tightened. I didn't even realize that one of his arms was holding me. His other hand was playing with my hair.

"Mother, why are you here? Itachi you bastard put down that camera!" I hid my face in his chest and closed my eyes. This is embarrassing. Wait, I'm in a really convenient position to do something I've always wanted. I smiled and inhaled. Gods I love his smell! He was hunched down a little so I might possibly reach his neck if I put up a little effort. I tiptoed I was right, I did reach his neck! "Sakz? What are you doing? Stop that right this moment."

Everyone around us laughed. But I don't care. I finally have my happily ever after. This is the best day of my life.

I take it all back, I don't hate my life. I love it! It's better than the best!

So how was it? Was it alright or is it a little 'crooked'?

I'm starting to write the Sasu-version of this chap but I'm telling you, IT IS EFFIN' HARD! I'm getting headaches making Sasu somewhat still "Sasuke-like" but its sooooo damn hard to make him confess properly!

So please please post lots and lots of suggestions to make my life a little easier.

As always, please leave a review!