Description: Hinata is a strong shinobi, if a gentle one, and an asset to Konoha. But even after willing herself to become stronger she still feels an emptiness inside, an emptiness that is identical to that inside of a certain Uchiha Itachi. When their two worlds collide, Hinata finds herself madly in love with this man despite his dark and criminal past. But does he love her with the same intensity? Or is he only using her for his own twisted games?

ItaHina

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

In such a cruel and evil world as this, why is it that we live? For what is it that we live? I cannot understand the will of some; to face such a hideous world with a face of golden courage. I cannot understand it, not in the least. But still, even with a mind of such confusion, there still bears a small trickle of comfort. Where is such comfort found when all the world is glass and rocks? Where can one rest and sleep without fear of being devoured? Where is solace in the storm? Where is air in the smoke? It is where it has always been and always will be; in the warm glowing soul of another.

*Anbu Officer Korune note* Page 62 of the diary of Hyuuga Hinata, released for review by the Hokage as for determining the cause of her death.

Chapter One: Warmth

Lady Fifth regarded the paper on her desk with a sick sort of dread. It had been a little over a year since Hinata had passed, yet any mention of her still caused a stir of old grief within her heart, as it did with all of the citizens of Konoha. Nevertheless, she had to do her job. She allowed her eyes to roam over the page of Hinata's diary that had been sent to her that morning. She was supposed to review it to see if there were any clues as to who could have killed her, or—a possibility that the villagers had often whispered about—if it was suicide. Tsunade felt the weight of the girl's family on her shoulders as she realized that there was no hidden meaning on this diary page. It was yet another dead end, another rousing of ill-placed hope. She would let the Hyuuga's down, again. They had been counting on her to find out the causes of the heiresses death, especially since there was a possibility that it may have been murder. It was likely that the reason they wanted to know so badly was so that they could hunt down and kill the culprits. It was something that the Hyuuga's would do. But whatever their reasons, they had a right to know the truth.

Only, the problem was that the truth was nowhere to be found. Not on this diary page, not anywhere. Tsunade had been searching tirelessly for an answer to the question everyone had been silently asking since that winter a year ago. She had been informed by an anbu officer that Hyuuga Hinata had been discovered, unconscious in the east woods. She heard the urgency and worry in the officer's voice, and ordered them to bring the girl to her office at once. She dismissed his arguments about hospitals and the ICU. The hospitals didn't have near the healing ability that she possessed herself. If Hinata was going to have a fighting chance, she needed to be brought to the Hokage tower ASAP. She ordered him to hurry.

But for some reason Tsunade had a creeping worry that it would be too late to do anything. She hoped that her concerns were simply paranoia as Hinata was carried into her private office. This office wasn't the one that she used for official village business. This one was located just below the ground floor of the Hokage tower and was filled with cots and bottles of serums that cluttered the shelves like dust. It was the office that she used to personally treat patients. It was kept a secret because, in Danzo's words: "You're healing fascination is a distraction from fully fulfilling your duties as Hokage. If you're so compelled to be a healer, maybe you should resign and surrender the job to someone more focused."

Like hell I will, she thought fiercely as she radiated healing ninjutsu into the girl's chest. After a few minutes, she cut to apply a serum to Hinata's throat and chest that was supposed to increase blood and air flow. Then she picked up the jutsu again. It continued in this succession for three hours before Tsunade finally gave up. By then even she could see the uselessness in her actions. She remembered feeling her determination fade into a deep and cold sadness like jumping into an icy lake; paralyzing, terrifying, and hopeless. Hinata was dead.

Tsunade was roused from her sad relocations by the door to her office cracking open. A point of silver hair made it's way inside followed by Hatake Kakashi.

"Lady Tsunade," he acknowledged in that sleepy tone of his. He took a spot on the back wall, leaning lazily against it and crossing his arms.

"Kakashi." She answered tiredly. She returned the diary page to the envelope and got to work readdressing it back to the Hyuuga compound.

"So, did you find anything out from the diary page?"

"No. Nothing."

Instead of answering Kakashi closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall as if he were about to drift off to sleep. Tsunade started to get annoyed at his rude display of insubordination, but then he suddenly spoke. "I don't think it was suicide."

Tsunade blinked in surprise. "I didn't say anything about suicide."

"Yes," he said in knowing voice. He rolled his head to his right to face her. "but you were thinking it. I don't believe that Hinata was selfish enough to do something like that. That girl was the least selfish person I ever met."

"That's true." Tsunade said very softly. That old familiar wave of grief hit her again. It always crept up on her when she least expected it. She took in a deep breath to help control her emotions. She had to remain composed. "I don't think that it was suicide either."

Kakashi didn't give a response right away. He simply stood with his arms crossed and his eyes closed, but not tiredly this time. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. After a few slow minutes ticked by he spoke up again.

"I think she was killed." He said this with such unexpected certainty and seriousness that Tsunade was struck speechless. It was a bold accusation.

"You sound a little irritated at that." She said after she'd gathered herself.

Kakashi frowned—it was a gesture only the most perceptive to his behaviors could catch because the action was hidden by the mask he never removed. "Isn't it normal to be irritated by the concept of someone murdering one of our own? One of our kids?"

"You didn't seem to care nearly as much about Hinata that day." Tsunade said dryly.

Kakashi lowered his eyes, looking sullen. She knew that she was right, and he knew that she was right. That day a year ago, when Hinata had been pronounced dead to the village and her family, Kakashi seemed to be the only one not upset. He actually appeared not to care at all. A fact that drove Naruto crazy.

"Regardless," Kakashi said firmly, dismissing the subject. "Murder does seem like the only logical answer. The medic nins couldn't find anything wrong with her, right? No internal problems or illnesses."

"That's right," Tsunade had to admit. Medics had searched her system thoroughly but could find nothing that would cause such a sudden and unannounced death. Even going in, they'd hardly expected to find anything. Diseases that took lives so quickly usually had symptoms. But Hinata had none. "But murder? It seems like were jumping the gun a bit."

Kakashi furrowed his brow and gazed at her intently as if she'd missed some terribly obvious truth. "She's was a shinobi. Death by murder is almost the guaranteed way to die. You're letting your attachments to her blind you from the obvious. Any other person would have figured by now that she was probably killed by a rouge ninja or an Akatsuki. It's almost certain that that's what happened. I don't believe you can't see that by now. All the jonin are pretty much certain of it, but they all think that the reason you haven't acknowledged the fact yet is because you don't want the Hyuuga clan to act recklessly. But I know better. You're deluding yourself, Tsunade."

Tsunade continued addressing the envelope calmly as if she were unfazed by Kakashi's accusations. But she couldn't fool him. He'd been around her too long not to notice the way her fingers trembles as she wrote or how she couldn't stop sucking in her cheeks.

"Tsunade," Kakashi began gently. "I know that this is hard on you because of what Naruto said—"

Snap.

The pen that Tsunade had been writing with broke into two with a loud and disturbing crack. Ink spilled over her hand like blood and onto her desk, ruining at least fifty documents that were scatter about its surface in the process. Tsunade made no move to indicate that she noticed. She only pressed her lips together hard as if to keep herself from saying something vulgar. She kept her breath steady, remaining carefully calm and looked up at the jonin slowly.

"I know. I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry." Kakashi said quickly.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. The color of them made her look like a cat—a ferocious and dangerous cat ready to pounce and kill the moment her prey showed any sign of weakness.

"I, of all people, don't have any right to bring it up after what happened that night,"

Waiting

"and I know that you really took all of that stuff he said to heart,"

Waiting

"but Tsunade, he was overreacting just a bit."

Pounce.

"So you think that he wasn't justified in what he said? You think that this wasn't all my fault? That if I had just listened to him instead of assuming that he was overreacting that Hinata wouldn't be dead right now? You say that I'm deluded in this Kakashi, but you're the deluded one. You didn't trust the judgment of your own student and neither did I. It's that unnecessary doubt that caused this tragedy in the first place. And now, after all that's happened, after all that that doubt has put this village through, you stand there and tell me that he was overreacting? Do you know that he begged me to look for her? Did you know that, Kakashi? He begged me and I dismissed him. I saw all the worry in his eyes, how frantic he was, and I still turned him away. And now you're saying—"

"This isn't you fault, Tsunade."

"Like hell it isn't!" she yelled and stood up from her chair abruptly, causing it to fall backwards and clatter on the floor behind her. She scowled at the silver-haired ninja baring to him all of the emotions that had been sloshing around inside of her for a year. All of the sadness, and pity, and anger, and guilt. All of it. She lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper as if she were speaking only to herself. "Like hell it isn't."

Fourteen Months Ago

"Itachi? What are you still doing here?" Kisame's voice called from the doorway behind him with a hint of annoyance in his tone. They were supposed to be long on their way back to the Lair, but Itachi had insisted that they stay longer at the hotel—in the province that was nestled on the southern border of the Rain Village—than they had originally intended. He wouldn't tell why he'd made the decision to stay longer, but that didn't bother Kisame. What did bother him was that now, on the day that they had both agreed would be the end of their stay, Itachi was still lingering behind.

"Maybe you should go on ahead," Itachi said softly as he peered out of the curtain of the hotel window.

"What? Are you crazy or what? Come on, let's go before the others start to get suspicious that we abandoned them or something."

Itachi continued to gaze out of the window with something like desperation in his eyes. But after a while he allowed the curtain fall from his fingers. "Alright." He said.

Kisame gave him a strange sideways look and gestured toward the door. But even as they were making their exit, shooting their way through the forest's branches, Itachi still had that desperate look in his eyes. However, Kisame wasn't about to try and decipher it. If there was one thing he had learned about Itachi after all these years, it was that his moods were complex and random. He could easily go from calm, to angry, to distant in under an hour. His mood swings annoyed the hell out of Kisame at first, but he'd gotten use to them. He assumed that this was just another one of Itachi's many faces.

But Kisame was still put out at the thought of having to deal with a depressed Itachi for the four days it would take them to get back up to the Mist.

"Kisame," Itachi asked calmly. It seemed as if his depression had vanished as quickly as it had set in. His sudden change in attitude would have staggered another person, but not Kisame.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I was wondering of we could maybe take a detour."

Kisame groaned. "Were already late."

"I know," Itachi snapped with irritated anger coating his voice. Another face; one that Kisame did not like to see but often appeared without warning. "I just want to pick something up in Konoha. Something that I left behind when I left."

"When you left?" Kisame asked confused. "you mean seven years ago?"

Itachi didn't respond but Kisame could tell that his guess was correct.

"But why now?" Kisame asked with even greater confusion. This level of mysteriousness was new for Itachi.

"Why not now? I'm not in the mood to discuss this, Kisame. I'm going. Whether you choose to follow or not, doesn't matter much to me." He veered right and headed off in the direction of Konoha.

"Cryptic bastard," Kisame muttered. He skidded to a halt and took off after him, not about to face the Akatsuki missing his partner.

Critical eyes.

Hinata fought hard to suppress the blush that was creeping onto her face. But the task proved harder than she expected with all of the people watching her, judging her. She hated more than anything to be looked upon judgingly. But in this particular case it was necessary. She needed to stop fighting herself and focus if she was ever going to catch up to Naruto; she needed to pass this exam.

Hinata sized up her enemy notably. A small girl with more muscles in her legs than in her arms; steady coordination but not much power. She also had impossibly long hair that fell to her calves in shiny black sheets. Hinata thought of how impractical that must be. It was certain to get in the way in battle, or to block her vision every now and then. She figured she would use that factor to her advantage. The girl seemed angry, too, her eyes scowling and fists clenching and unclenching in succession. This was another significant fact that perhaps someone who wasn't a Hyuuga wouldn't have noticed. It was in the Hyuuga nature to assess peoples thoughts based on their body language. The girl's angry stance hinted toward an impulsive nature. Once she was provoked, she acted without thinking. If Hinata could toy with her long enough in their battle, she'd eventually lose it, giving Hinata a large margin.

"The fourth and final battle of the chunin exams begins. Hyuuga Hinata verses Senpachi Miito." The announcer's voice tolled, silencing the hum of the crowd and throwing them into anticipation.

Hinata felt herself start to blush again at the mention of her name. But she ignored her embarrassment and focused on figuring out a strategy. Her opponent, Miito, didn't waste any time. No sooner had the announcer's voice faded did she lunge with what looked to Hinata like a murderous intent. She hurriedly side stepped her charge. The girl stumbled, unable to stop her momentum in time, but recovered quickly. She barreled back toward Hinata again, this time with much more accuracy. Hinata couldn't avoid the kick that swept her feet out from under her in one smooth motion. She fell backward hard and was pinned down by Miito's foot on her chest.

I can't be hesitant, she thought, what would I do if Naruto was watching me? I have to be strong.

She reached up to grab Miito by the leg that was holding her down and twisted it, causing her to spin down and allowing Hinata to flip her over so that she could pin her down with her knees to her back. She couldn't hold her down long. The girl wriggled wildly, signaling that if Hinata didn't let her up soon she'd regret it. But Hinata made sure to hit the girls chakra points while she was still restrained so that even when she got up, she would still be injured.

After Miito started cursing rather loudly Hinata let her up. She backed away quickly anticipating that as angry as she was, she was going to attack immediately. Her anticipations were justified when Miito spun around to take a swipe at her. Her eyes were glazed over with rage.

I shouldn't attack her so closely, Hinata thought as she watched Miito get to her feet. She's much to wild. I should attack from far away. Hinata backed away a few more step and drew a hand full of shuriken from her holder. She waited for Miito to stager into her line of fire before shooting the handful of stars at her. Miito, despite having her kidney and liver assaulted with the gentle fist, was quick to doge the projectiles. But she was breathing hard. She could barely evade the last star that whizzed by her head and took off a small chunk of jet black hair in its path. Miito gasped. She froze and stared at the slivers of hair that were littered around her feet. She reached up slowly to finger the place where the hair had previously been.

It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. Hinata could only just barely tell that a sixth of the girl's hair was two feet shorter than the rest, but it was obvious that Miito noticed. She was starting to shake. Her fingers lowered from the space where her hair used to be and clenched into a fist by her side. Then she turned slowly to her left and shot Hinata a look of pure venom.

Hinata knew that she was about to charge. She hurried and preformed the signs to activate her byakugan. Miito let out a horrified shriek that made the audience wince. Hinata quickly spread her legs apart and set one hand in front of herself just as Miito entered her circle of reach.

Rotation. A large push of violet chakra swirled around Hinata as she spun at high-speed in the divination twirl. Miito was from the Rain, a small devastated village that kept to themselves and didn't dabble in other village affairs. Most of the Rain shinobi knew nothing of the Hyuuga bloodline and Miito seemed to be included in that group. She was flung back immediately by the practically impenetrable chakra shield that the Hyuuga's were so famous for and hit the far wall hard. But she bounced back almost instantly, as if she were unfazed. But she wasn't fooling anyone. She was staggering, barley able to stand up straight, and breathing so hard she was practically hyperventilating. She was clutching her side, like she was finally feeling those gentle fist attacks that Hinata had inflicted on her earlier. She looked like she'd used up most of her stamina, too.

Hinata smiled to herself. Her plan was working. Now that Miito was slower Hinata could approach her with a direct attack. But still, it would be better if she had some other advantage. So instead of charging her head on she ran around the perimeter of the tournament arena towards her. She advanced on the side she was injured on so that she didn't notice her at first. But once she did Hinata was already well within striking range, too close for Miito to react in any sort of defense.

Eight Trigram Two Palms. She shot two strikes of chakra powered energy into Mitto's injured side causing her to wince and droop to her knees. She struggled to get air into her lungs as Hinata attacked her the second time.

Four palms

Eight palms

Sixteen palms

Thirty-two palms

Sixty-four palms. By the time she'd finished her assault Miito was practically unconscious. Hinata felt bad when she watched the girl struggle to get to her knees. Her arms were trembling so badly that she couldn't get farther then a few inches off the ground before falling back down. She was probably in a lot of pain. Seeing her wince on the ground and watching the blood drip from between her lips, it made Hinata feel a cold guilt. She didn't have to hurt her that badly, did she?

The sun shone off Miito's forehead protector and flashed in Hinata's eyes. A Rain forehead protector. Hinata realized that Miito's life was probably more unpleasant than she could imagine living in such a poor and ravaged village. Very few shinobi ever entered the inter-village chunin exams from the Rain, too many of the children were orphaned and didn't attend ninja academy. Miito had to be really lucky to have the opportunity, and not only that, but despite her definite hardships she was still able to obtain the level of skill necessary to pass the first two parts of the exam. She had to have had some real ability to achieve that. It was just the crap of the draw that Miito had to go up against a shinobi with a bloodline. It was almost cruel that she'd worked so hard to come so far only to be shattered now by the unforgiving hand of fate.

"Senpachi Miito is unable to continue, winner Hyuuga Hinata."

A chorus of cheers arose from the audience, the loudest of which was probably Kiba's. Hinata looked into the crowd to see that he was standing with his hands cupped around his mouth to project his voice, like he needed any aid projecting.

"Go Hinata-chan! I knew you could do it!" he yelled so loudly that poor Shino, who happened to have the unfortunate pleasure of sitting next to him, cringed and covered his ears.

Hinata smiled and blushed at the sudden flood of attention and praise. She was happy despite herself. But she wasn't out in the clear just yet. The judges still needed to decide whether she was worthy to be a chunin. She pressed her hands together, suddenly nervous, and looked down. Had her fighting skill been good enough? She'd just have to wait and see.

Hinata found herself sitting at Ichiruka Ramen counter next to Kiba and Shino later that afternoon. They still hadn't announced the chunin choices yet so she was antsy. But she tried to be good company and keep up with Kiba's unwavering conversation. She nodded and smiled politely whenever her looked her way, but her mind was elsewhere. If she didn't become a chunin now she'd have to wait a whole other year to retake the exam. She'd be farther behind Naruto than ever. And—she blushed to think of it—she wanted to become stronger before he got back so that she could surprise him. It was conceited to think that he would care, but she couldn't help herself from wanting it.

"Hinata? Are you listening?" Kiba's voice broke through the cloud of her thoughts. She jumped a little blushed, embarrassed by her rudeness.

"I—I'm sorry Kiba. I was just thinking."

Kiba turned away from his bowl of half eaten ramen and gave her a reassuring smile. "You're worried about the results of the exam aren't you? It'll be fine, trust me. You did great."

"Yeah…" she said gently.

"Are you sure that's all that's wrong?" Kiba asked with a hint of worry. "I mean, you haven't touched your food. And…well, you seem to be a little down lately."

Hinata let her smile fade. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not hungry." She pushed her bowl away.

"You sure?"

"Yes. I think maybe I'm a little tired, too. Maybe I should just go home."

Kiba looked more concerned than ever about then, but he let her leave without any further questions. Hinata felt relived not to have to put on an act any more. She walked home silently, more absorbed in her thoughts than before. If she became a chunin then she'd be that much closer to Naruto, but then what? Naruto was so much stronger than she was, and probably much stronger than most of the village. He was, after all, being trained by Jiraiya, one of the most skilled shinobi in Konoha. He'd come back stronger than ever and the gap between would be even harder for her to close. Would she ever be able to catch up to him? And if she ever did catch up, would it help? Would Naruto be able to fill the void inside of her, the one that had come from years of torment by her disapproving father and her inadequacy as a ninja in her youth? A void that had only gotten worse when he'd left.

Before Naruto left to train with Jiraiya she'd felt the emptiness—it had always been there—but Naruto had provided her with a certain numbness, it didn't hurt nearly as much when he was close to her. And because of this she wanted to be closer to him. But she wasn't deluding herself anymore. By now she had realized that when Naruto came back there was no chance that he was going to pay any more attention to her than he had before he left. By hoping that he would she was only torturing herself.

The sun was starting to set, signaling to Hinata that it was getting late. She squinted at the horizon where the sun was settling. If she didn't get home soon her father was going to kill her. She shuddered to think of how angry he would be if she got home later than he expected. She looked around to judge how much farther she had to walk before she got home and almost panicked. She had no idea where she was. She should have been paying attention to where she was going instead of brooding.

She looked around again, searching for anything familiar that would indicate her location. She didn't recognize anything but she did notice that there were no people around and that said something. It wasn't quite night time yet so there should have been at least someone lingering around outside. The evening time was usually the most crowded time on the streets of Konoha. But the road that she was standing on was empty and quite. The absence of people indicated that she'd probably wandered into an abandoned section of the village. A crisp breeze blew by that whipped her indigo hair around her face. She pulled her jacket closer to her body and looked around again, more carefully this time. That's when she noticed a wall covered in graffiti to the right of her. A familiar feeling came to her. She leaned a bit closer to it and noticed that it was a wall that was identical to the one that surrounded her own compound. She touched it gingerly. It was made of the same smooth clay material, too.

She kept her hand on it as she made her way around to the other side. Once she reached what she assumed was the front of the barrier, she looked up to see the faded kanji that was painted above the gates. She could just barely make out the strokes beneath the wild tangle of ivy that had grown over most of the front of the wall. Uchiha. This was the Uchiha compound. Hinata looked down at the gap between the two heavy doors. As far as she knew, the compound was supposed to be locked. No one had been in or out since Sasuke left. So why was it unlocked?

Curiosity got the better of her. She slid easily through the gap in doors and headed into the dead compound. It was even colder within the walls than it was outside of them. Hinata shivered and pulled her jacket even tighter before she glanced around.She was starting to get a bad feeling. The air seemed to be getting colder for some reason causing her to feel like she was being smothered in icy smoke. She shouldn't have come here. She spun back around and started to run towards the front gates. But before she could get far she slammed hard into something in her path. She stumbled and threw her hands out in front to steady herself. She felt something soft against her palms but it was too dark to see what it was. Then she felt something encase her waist. Something warm.

"What do we have here?" a deep and unfamiliar voice whispered into her hair.

Hinata crammed her eyes shut, to afraid to react any other way. She was trying to think like a shinobi, trying to assess the situation clearly like any capable ninja would. But she couldn't make her mind work correctly. There was only one thought running through her head as she trembled in this strangers arms. She was going to be killed.

"You don't need to be afraid. I'm not going to kill you unless you give me a reason." He laid a warm hand on her head.

She willed herself to look up at him, peeking very timidly through her bangs. She gasped. Her heart seized up so violently and sporadically in her chest that for a second she thought that she might die. He was gorgeous. He had sharingan eyes. He was beautiful. He was sinister and evil. He was holding her so closely. He was a criminal. He was a cold blooded killer. And he was smiling at her.

Itachi.

At first she couldn't do anything but stare at his eyes. They were lethal and terrifying yet they were so pretty at the same time. She couldn't make herself look away from them though she knew that she should. It was dangerous to look so willingly into the eyes of a sharingan wielder, especially this particular sharingan wielder. But she couldn't help herself.

After what seemed like forever she shook her head hard. She was in the arms of the infamous Uchiha Itachi, the enemy of Konoha that had destroyed his clan and abandoned the village, and the only thing that was running through her mind was how terrifyingly beautiful his eyes were. She questioned her own sanity for not feeling any fear. Anyone else in her situation certainly would have.

She started to pull away but suddenly stopped. Everything else was just so cold. Another freezing breeze blew past her face making her cough. Involuntarily, she fell back into him, burying her face in his cloak. He was so warm.

Itachi pulled his hand down through her hair.

"Come on. You got what you needed, right? Let's go already!" another voice called sounding annoyed. Hinata jumped at the sound.

"It looks like I'm not going to kill you," he whispered softly. He brushed her hair again briefly and then disappeared and Hinata was alone. She spun around quickly, searching the compound with her eyes, but Itachi was nowhere to be found. A sinking desperation settled in her chest, but she didn't understand it. How could she be sad that a man who was speaking so openly about murdering her had spared her life and was now gone? And, on that matter, what she didn't understand even more was why she wasn't afraid. Even when he was holding her so close to him she couldn't feel any kind of fear, all she could feel was that warmth. She rubbed her shoulders trying to ward off the cold that was creeping back on her.

She looked up at the black and starless sky. It was very late now. She sucked in a breath. Itachi hadn't killed her but her father most certainly would, and if a cold-blooded murderer didn't strike fear in her, Hiashi defiantly did.

….