Author's Note: This story was written for Gohan/Videl Week 5.0, a contest held by SweetestIrony. They have a series of seven prompts, one for each day of the week. Today's prompt was "swashbuckling adventure".

Videl didn't know everything in the world, but she knew that some things would never happen. Her father would never turn down an opportunity for publicity, Erasa would never get anything higher than a "C" in English class, and Gohan would never knowingly break school rules.

That is why Videl was shocked when Gohan stumbled into class on Monday morning, completely drunk.

"WHERE HAS ALL THE RUM GONE?" Gohan shouted loudly.

Gohan was wearing a home-made pirate outfit, with a hat that was made out of a paper bag and an eyepatch that was made out of a sock.

"What on Earth?" Videl asked.

"Is that Gohan?" Erasa asked.

"He's gone insane," Videl said.

"Yar! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" Gohan said. "Shiver me timbers!" He wobbled around unsteadily on his feet.

"Quick, we have to help him before the teacher comes!" Erasa said, grabbing Videl's hand and running down the stairs. They grabbed Gohan before he fell over.

Erasa may have been concerned about helping her friend and fellow student, but Videl was less than thrilled about helping a drunk moron, especially because she still suspected that Gohan was the Great Saiyaman.

"What's wrong with you?" Videl asked Gohan. "You can't show up to class like this!"

"Yar...yar...har..." Gohan mumbled, taking a drink from the green bottle he was holding in his left hand.

Videl took the bottle and sniffed it to double-check that, yep, it had some kind of alcohol inside. She wisely decided to confiscate the bottle.

"Hey, give that back, wench!" Gohan said. "Don't make me kee-haul you!"

"If you ever call me that again, I will make you suffer," Videl said.

The threat seemed to bring Gohan back to his senses, and his pupils contracted. "Vid...Videl?" Gohan asked.

"It's me," Videl said. "What are you doing?"

"It's...*hic*...it's Pirate Day," Gohan said. "Sharprener told me."

"Pirate day?" Videl asked.

"Oh, I know what he means!" Erasa said. "It's Talk like a Pirate Day, where you're supposed to dress up like a pirate and act like one! It's really fun!"

"And I brought all the pirate rum!" Gohan said, pulling out another bottle of rum from inside his jacket.

Videl confiscated this bottle, too. "Gohan, you do know that there's alcohol in rum, right?" she asked.

"What?" Gohan asked. "Alco...rum...where has the rum gone?"

Videl slapped her face. Gohan was Orange Star High's smartest student, but he didn't know anything about drinking. Great.

"Look, we're going to take you to the nurse's office, okay?" Videl asked. "You can sleep there."

"I don't wanna go to be, Mom..." Gohan mumbled, his eyelids starting to close. "Why...sleep...ahoy..."

"Well, this is the weirdest thing that's happened to me in a while," Erasa said, as she and Videl pulled Gohan down the hallway. "Who knew Gohan could do something so stupid?"

"Personally, I want to know where he got all that rum," Videl said. "Oh, shoot!"

Videl's watch started beeping, and the Chief of Police came through the speaker. "Videl! The Red Shark Gang is holding the mayor hostage!"

"Wait, what?" Videl asked. "The Red Shark Gang? Didn't you arrest them last week?"

"We did," the Chief said. "We're not sure about the details, but apparently the Red Shark Gang broke out of jail, and they decided to kidnap the mayor a second time!"

"Some people never learn," Videl muttered. "I'll be there soon, Chief. Erasa, you can take care of Gohan, right?"

"Yessir, Captain Videl!" Erasa said, saluting her friend. "Kick some Red Shark Booty!"

"YAR HAR HAR!" Gohan agreed.

"That's not funny," Videl said, before leaving to get her jet copter.

When Videl arrived at the mayor's house, she immediately knew something was wrong. The people there were not the Red Shark gang.

Sure, they were wearing all-red outfits with a picture of a shark on the front, but they weren't the people she had fought last week.

"Ah, Videl," one of the people said. It was a man, judging by his voice. She couldn't tell for sure, because they all were wearing hoods. "Welcome to our test."

"Who are you sickos, and where's the mayor?" Videl demanded.

"We are the Red Shark Fighters," the man said. "A skilled group of martial artists who have been looking for a worthy competitor. Are you her?"

"What?" Videl asked.

That was when the man attacked her. She quickly realized that the man wasn't lying; he was trained in martial arts. As soon as she managed to knock him down, another fighter stepped in to take his place.

All in all, the gang was made up of about six fighters. They constantly switched in and out, so she couldn't have any time to rest. Videl quickly became tired, and things were looking bad for her, when...

"WHERE HASH ALL TEH RUM GONE?" someone shouted.

A tall figure with a red cape, green suit and pirate hat appeared on the scene.

"I am the Great Saiyaman!" he cried. "I will stop you vile bandits! That'll teach you to steal the rum!"

Despite the dangerous situation, Videl felt like jumping for joy. It was obviously Gohan! "I knew he was Saiyaman!" Videl said.

"Get him!" the Red Shark leader said. "He can't interrupt our fight!"

The Red Sharks charged Gohan in a group, but when they tried punching his rock-hard muscles, they ended up hurting themselves. Two of them actually broken their fingers. Soon, the Red Shark Fighters were rolling around on the group, howling in pain.

It was the first time Gohan had stopped criminals without even throwing a punch.

"Well, what do you know?" Gohan said. "It looks like pirates really do beat ninjas! Yar!"

"Gohan!" Videl said. "That's you, isn't it? You're the Great Saiyaman!"

"AHOY!" Gohan said. "That's Cap'n Saiyaman to you! But ye can always be my first mate! Yar har har har har!"

Videl laughed along with the drunk superhero. I am so going to blackmail him forever, thanks to this! she thought happily.

The above tale is the real story of how Videl figured out Gohan's secret identity. They were supposed to make it into a DragonBall Z episode, but the producers thought it would send a bad message to kids if Gohan got drunk. So they made up some fake story about a kidnapped dinosaur instead.