Ooooh! Ooooh! A Tangled fic! One I never intended to write, but…I write about people in stuff I really love, and that includes Tangled…they already have their happily ever after, so what is there to write except fluff…but then I had this inspiration! What if Eugene walked in on the Reprise of 'Mother Knows Best'? Oh noes! The title stinks, but I couldn't think of anything better…I don't own Tangled or its characters, but the idea was all mine! Eugene's POV, beware of plenty of Eugene x Rapunzel! XD

Mother *Does NOT Know* Best

By Obsessive Shipper98

"Was he a thief, too?" Rapunzel asked gently.

Wow, never thought about that one. Why was I a thief? It seemed silly now, naïve and pointless. I could have just gotten a job. But that would be just boring. And anyway, If I hadn't been running from those guards, I wouldn't have found Rapunzel, so, in a way, it was good. Wait…why does it matter if I never met Rapunzel?

"No." I said, almost surprised. "Actually, he had enough money to do whatever he wanted. He could go anywhere he wanted to go. And for a kid with nothing…just seemed like the better option." I recalled all those days, daydreaming about what it would be like to live like Flynnigan Rider, not the parentless kid I was.

Rapunzel just smiled at me gently. She understood? Must have. No one has really ever just listened. I mean, why should they care, anyway? But Rapunzel...did. She understood. She had sort of been in the same situation, just different context. She had spent her childhood dreaming of something. For her, it was lanterns, for me, Flynn Rider. I hope that's not the only reason. I want Maybe she's more than just the girl I'm taking to the lights. I found myself smiling back at her. Wait, wait, WHOA, Eugene, what are you doing? You don't believe in love!

"Um, um, I better…I better get some more firewood…" I said nervously and planned to make a quick departure. I admit it, okay? I got scared, and was halfway to the 'firewood' destination when I hear her say sweetly,

"Hey, for what it's worth, I like Eugene Fitzherbert a lot more than Flynn Rider."

I almost said, "Really?" but I stopped myself. Nobody had ever really liked my real name…it was always 'too this' or 'too that'. Long, mostly, I guess. And I had wanted to be someone else. Eugene Fitzherbert had no family, or friends, no worldly or otherwise pleasures, no nothing, for that matter. He had spent his growing up wishing he wasn't Eugene Fitzherbert. Flynn Rider was handsome thief, attractive, dashing, daring, mysterious not bad with the ladies either…he was everything I wanted to be. He was the daydream I had been chasing all those years. But Eugene Fitzherbert had one thing Flynn Rider didn't: He had Rapunzel. I couldn't help but smile as I said,

"Well, then, you would be the first."

I found some firewood pretty easily, we didn't need much anyway, and this little task was beginning to feel dull, and I'd rather be back with Rapunzel...geez, Eugene, you sound infatuated! I shrugged off my conscience's suggestion. Okay, maybe she was more than a burden in the way of my cheesy island dream, but I don't like her. Wait-WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER THE LIGHTS? Is she really going back? Does she want to spend her life sheltered? My sudden panic of parting with Rapunzel startles me. Who am I, anymore? Less than 24 hours ago I was definitely someone else entirely.

Dear, this whole romance that you've invented,

Just proves, you're too naïve to be here

Who the crap is that? Doesn't sound like Rapunzel. In fact, unless she hit me extra hand with that frying pan weapon of hers, it's not Rapunzel. I see a middle aged woman circling Rapunzel like a taunting animal. Who's this lady?

Why would he like you, come on now, really,

Look at you! You think that he's impressed?

Don't be a dummy,

Come with Mummy,

Motherrrr-

So this is the overprotective mother. Wait-it wouldn't be too terribly unlike the loyal and timid Rapunzel to go with her. NO! She can't do that! I have this really good plan for the lights I was planning to execute like a professional. She just had to come. She just had to see those lanterns…

I was fixing to burst from the shadows when Rapunzel's shockingly firm voice stops me.

"No."

She's rebelling…my panic softens. Why were you panicked in the first place, Eugene? I am seriously starting to confuse myself.

No? Oh.

I see how it is!

Rapunzel knows best, Rapunzel's so mature now,

Such a clever grown-up miss

I almost blurt out "Heck yeah!" but stop myself. Just where is this going?

Rapunzel knows best, fine if you're so sure now, go ahead then give his THIS!

THIS is why he's here, don't let him deceive you!

Give it to him, watch, you'll see

That demented-looking woman has my satchel! Some people…I was about to step in and snatch it from her, (it's one of my specialties) when I realize, 'She's talking about…ME.' I stopped to listen.

Trust me, my dear,

That's how fast he'll leave you

WELL, ex-cuse me, I most certainly WOULD NOT do that! Some people just mess with that blondie's head…huh? A dark part of me whispers, "What would you do, Eugene? Really? Are you not going to take your crown and leave after your brilliant light plan?" I swallow hard. That is exactly what has been scaring me since she started to be more than a burden. I might have a thrilling plan for the lanterns, but I had no plan for the future, which a feeling I kept shaking off told me she would have a part in. It doesn't matter. What matters now is that manipulating, infuriating, evil, faux-young woman doesn't poison Rapunzel's image of me.

So if such a dreamboat,

Go and put him TO THE TE-

"Shut up, old hag."

Rapunzel turns to face me, leaning against a tree, contemplating a piece of kindling and acting a lot more composed then I was feeling.

"Eugene!" She cries, and runs over to me. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be. You had your turn to be sorry in the flooding cave. And, that, I might add, wasn't even really your fault. It's your mother's turn be sorry. And she can shut up and leave, 'cause, Madam, like it or not, I'm taking Rapunzel to see those lanterns." I stood up to full height, in shock of what I had just said. It wasn't supposed to be so…dramatic.

"Eugene…" Rapunzel breathed, looking at me gratefully with those big emerald eyes of hers.

Her mother looked a bit shocked, to say the least. (YES! Eugene: one, Mummy: zero!)

She quickly shook off the dumb look and went up to Rapunzel. Out of instinct, I put my arms around her. It was obvious she wasn't the great mother Rapunzel thought she was. I might have never known my mom, but I knew enough to know this witchy woman wasn't a good one. I faced her with the most solid face I could conjure up. I considered my all-amazing Smolder, but thought better of it. Maybe my Smolder not working runs in the family. We faced her together, Rapunzel leaning back against me, genuinely scared, as I could feel by her shaking. She pranced up to us with a sickening smirk on her face. She said smugly, "If he's lying, don't come crying, dearest. MOTHAAAA KNOWSSSSS BESSST!"

And with a flash of her cloak she was gone. For a moment all was silent. Rapunzel stayed leaning on me, still shaking; scared.

*Rapunzel's POV*

"Eugene…he protected me. Oh, Mother, Mother, why must you be so protective? The world is amazing! Ahem, now, Rapunzel, you need to get off Eugene."

But a part of her wished she could stay like this forever.

*Back to Eugene's POV*

This should have been awkward. Really should've been. But after a long, scared yet cozy silence, Rapunzel said,

"Eugene, 'thank you' doesn't even come close."

I smiled, though she couldn't see me, "No problem, Blondie. If I'm going to do a job, I'm going to do it right, and no satchel-stealing mother's going to stop Eugene Fitzherbert!"

I could tell she was smiling. Then her tone became solemn and she said, "What is going to happen after the lights?"

I frowned. I still hadn't figured that out. "Rapunzel," I said. She looked up at me, her green eyes scared and confused.

"Eugene?"

"I really don't know. But, live your dream, and then you can pick a new one."

A glitter in her eyes told me I might be just that.

Oh oh I just LOVE this! Okay, maybe it was just fun for me to write, but…I hope y'all loved it about as much as I did. Yes, Eugene's a little OOC, sorry! ^^

EVEN MORE TO COME,

Latias