I have too many stories I'm working on right now, but I couldn't write until I got this out of my head.

Dear Kendall,

The grief counselor Gustavo hired is forcing us to write these. I think it's a good idea, but the guys are all pretending it's stupid. But we both know that their letters will probably be full of heartrending stuff that they need to confess. It's just the type of thing you'd do if you were here. But if you were here, we wouldn't be doing this, would we?

The guys are really upset. I haven't seen a helmet, luck comb, or AP Calculus book since it happened, and we both know that that is unheard of.

I miss you so much, Kendall. I'm proud of you, though. I was always scared that you'd run off and join the army and die in the line of duty, but I never dreamed that you would die a hero on our home soil. I still think that what you did took more courage than that would have.

I was going to tell you that afternoon, but I never got a chance. I'm pregnant, Kendall. We were going to have a baby. That's why I told you to take the day off. I never imagined you'd die before our picnic at two. I also never imagined that you'd die at 21, twenty minutes before you were going to find out you were a dad. I know that, if you were reading this, you would be feeling really guilty right now. But don't worry, Kendall, the baby will have a dad. The baby will have three dads. You know Carlos, Logan, and James would never let me raise your child alone. Especially James, after what happened.

The guys are trying to take care of Katie the way they know that you would want them to, but it's not easy. She can't sleep without her big brother singing to her. Your mom told me that if it goes on one more day she's taking her to the doctor for insomnia medication. I know this might seem stupid, but if you're somehow reading this, help her. She needs it.

I'm worried for the guys, Kendall. You died the day before the annual day of pranks, as I'm sure you know, and that probably will never happen again. Katie has tried to declare, as co ruler, that it be renamed Kendall's day of pranks and continue, but the guys are too shell shocked to think of it. Maybe in a few years.

Yours Forever,

Jo Knight (as I will be always)

P.S. I'm naming the baby Kendall, boy or girl. The baby won't be a replacement, but I need a Kendall in my life.