Hey everyone! So, I'm stuck in the crazy state known as Wisconsin with all of these protests going on. Seriously, I know it's important and everything, but it's getting extremely annoying.

Okay: rant over. I'm just so sick of it, plus in my AP Gov class we've been talking about it a lot.

So, this fic is based off of Lollidictator's Hetalia unit manuals so I give credit to the epicness that is them, plus I have a bit of a surprise in here that I got permission from her for as well. ;)

Sure, some call me weird and of course I thank them for the compliment. What I didn't know was how my so called 'weirdness' could get even more corrupted with the odd insanity that would park itself on my doorstep one fateful day after arriving home from school in the middle of February.

My name is Emily Parker and I am a junior at the local public school in my city in Wisconsin. At first glance, you'd ask 'How could that girl with the glasses have anything weird about her? She's the quiet one in the back of the class always writing in her notebook!'. Ha. Put a friend within 30 ft from me and I'll be shouting across the room and/or sending knowing glances to them with our non-verbal signals that we communicate with when need-be. Yeah, I'm a drama-nerd and damn proud of it, along with being the president of both the anime club and writing club at the school. Needless to say, I was the queen of the crazies.

I had first gotten into anime from one of my close friends back in my freshman year when I had only been involved with pokemon and from there, my fan fiction career began. However, it was more of my crazy life in general that seemed dictate my life along with my group of insane friends. Although, this story does have at least a general starting point I can go from:

When I first watched Hetalia Axis Powers.

In our little group, there were sort of 'set' positions that we tended to abide by and pretty much were fine with since they fit our personality. I was the writer and all around insane person (boy, did my classmates have that wrong!); Rosalie was the super band girl who played baritone saxophone and a variety of instruments; Katherine was the quiet strong type who could be crazy when she wanted to be; Amelia was the anime instigator of sorts who tended to bring in the group's latest anime crazes; Rebecca was the sweetheart who was innocent but scary when she needed to; Eve was pretty much my best friend who was a little bit boy-crazy and was my personal techie. There were others too such as Julie who was our very own pervert and Bridget who tended to be pretty calm and held back Julie when she went crazy along with dozens of others.

I first heard of Hetalia from Amelia when she came blazing into school adorned with American gear and things progressed from there. I had been dubbed as 'Italy' and now I even owned Italian flags and a large world map in my room. If only I had known the irony then and there.

The true beginning of this tale, skipping all of the obsessing of my friends and I, would be when Eve and I were having a sleepover and being the computer nerds that we were, we automatically fought over the mouse.

"I said- GIVE IT DAMMIT!"

"NOOOOO! IT'S MY WIRELESS MOUSE!"

"IT'S MY HOUSE!"

"IT'S STILL MY MOUSE DAMMIT!"

"Eve, I swear to god, I will tell Mike that you like him."

Eve hissed and gave me a death glare, "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me! I admit, that whole thing about being bribed with Oreos during that party was an accident, but this time I mean it!" We glared at each other before diving for the mouse and as we bickered, there was a clink and a small 'bing' and we looked up to see a flashing ad.

"Shit." I muttered as I immediately snatched the mouse from her and scanned the popup. "You have won our grand prize of…free Hetalia units?" I looked to see a countdown clock now ticking down from 48 hours and I groaned. "Why did my popup blocker have to be down now?"

"Because you were getting those Hetalia songs off of youtube." Eve muttered and I jabbed her in the side, resulting in a high pitched shriek. "You bitch!"

"No, you are 'The Bitch'. Stop trying to pass on your title."

"No way sweetie am I getting rid of that title anytime soon." We grinned at each other before turning back to the flashing popup ad. "You should probably check your computer for viruses now."

"Already on it!" I scrolled down to my security system to find that there were no bugs or viruses at all and I shrugged. "That's weird but okay with me."

Oh how I would regret forgetting about that to watch that new pokemon movie.

The two days passed eventfully as usual, with my sophomore friends dressing up in DBZ Cosplay to school again and another amount of time spent at musical practice with my boyfriend who was our 'Egypt'. It was only when I got home that I found a truck parked outside my driveway and a man reading some manga on my front porch.

"Oh, you're home!" He exclaimed and I shrugged.

"If I would have, I would have just spared myself the trouble of going to school and just slept at home till noon and played sims3 all day but the law requires me to be there, so it must be done." I replied and he sniggered and handed me a clipboard and I was pleased to find out for once in the past two years a package was delivered to me. Most of the time it was just clothes my mom ordered on line for herself.

"So, let me get your unit and I'll be right back!" The brunette said happily as he recovered the clipboard and I stared after him. Units…units…shit.

"I'm going to kill Eve." I grumbled as the man returned with a large crate with a smaller one on the top of it and grinned.

"So, this is your informational letter," He handed me a large yellow envelope and offered to bring in the crate which I gladly accepted his offer, of course blocking my 'guard dog' off from the front. This poor guy didn't need to be licked to death by a 6 year old golden retriever.

"So, I'll be back in a week with your next unit Ms. Parker!" The delivery guy said happily.

"So there's more of these things?"

"Of course! It's not a complete earth without all of them! Hopefully they'll send a manual with the next one!" I paled at the thought of these giant things invading my house. It would be bad enough explaining to my parents how this one got here.

"Okay Mr. Delivery dude. Wait- there's supposed to be manuals with these things?" I sighed, looking back to the giant crate. It couldn't be deadly, could it?

"Name's Mark and they're supposed to. A little odd that this guy didn't come with one, but it could be one of the newer models…"

With that, we said our goodbyes and he left in the truck and I found myself standing next to the large crate.

"Damn it."

I pulled out my cell phone to take a picture and immediately texted Eve the picture and gave her a little message as well.

Emi: LOOK WHAT SHOWED UP IN THE MAIL. HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET MY ADDRESS?

Eevee: Again, not my fault! What is it?

Emi: Don't know, gonna open it

I put down my phone and walked up to the box again before opening the yellow envelope to see flying mint bunny stationary. With a snort, I pulled it out and began to read.

Dear Ms. Parker,

You are one of our lucky customers to try out one of our new units resulting in the reward of all of your future units to be free of charge and of shipping!

Please note down their behavior and any problems that you have with your new unit, and if you have problems, please contact us immediately so we may fix the problem for the future. Please also include ways of how you woke up your unit, so we may learn from your experience! It may take some tries, but don't be discouraged! Open the crate yourself if you run out of ideas!

Thanks!

~Flying Mint Bunny Incorporated

Seriously? Ugh, if my life is a box of chocolates then this one is pretty much a chocolate covered fruitcake.

I pulled the smaller box down and opened it to see a small package of wurst, a green military uniform, some work out clothes, a hat, gloves, and a YMCA card. Oh, if this is what I think it is…

I finally set my sights on the massive box in front of my and knocked twice on it…with no response. I sighed before trying to think. They wanted me to come up with a way to get this thing to wake up? Well, trying to think rationally with what was contained in the box, I had a few different options.

"Bruder?" I called and nothing happened.

Strike one.

"Guten Morgen?"

Strike two.

"Ve~ PAASSSSTTAAAAAA!"

"ITALIA!"

Jackpot!

I heard rumbling coming from the box and ducked as the lid ripped off, revealing a slicked back blonde head with piercing blue eyes.

Please don't tell me that I'm only dreaming of having Germany being delivered to my house in a crate. I'd prefer just to stay asleep in one of my crazy and rare anime dreams.

He looked over to me in surprise and his face reddened. "Tut mir sehr leid"

Yeah, I repeat that last statement. Please don't wake me up.

Ever.

Eve, I retract my hatred. I LOVE YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!

Yeah, so I wanted to do something with Germany and since Lollidictator hasn't put one up yet for our blonde German friend here, I asked if I could mess around with the idea a bit and I got permission! =D There's no manual for this guy! Hope you guys enjoyed this! =3

Tut mir sehr leid = I'm very sorry