Disclaimer: I can't take credit for Saw or the beginnings of the Lawrence/Adam love story. :) I just expand on it as inspiration dictates.

Author Note: Quick one shot…or more. I can't decide. Right now it's short and sweet though. Please review if you have the chance. Thanks!

The snow falls from high above the tallest sky scraper and down past the fifth story window of the hospital where Dr. Lawrence Gordon stares out onto the massive accumulation below.

The snow reminds him that he is so very far away from the place that used to be home. It also reminds him that he is more at home now than he has ever been. He is thousands of miles away from his ex-wife, his daughter, and the warehouse that he nearly died in two years before.

Diana he misses. The others not so much.

He watches as a short, blacked haired kid comes running down the sidewalk and turns back only to launch a snowball directly at the other equally vertically challenged kid behind him. They laugh as the mess hits the other directly in the face and soon the chase is resumed with more snow being flung from both angles. He smiles to himself and thinks of Diana. She would love the snow. He and Alison have been arguing since he moved here a month ago. He wants Diana to come and visit. Alison refuses. New York is a dirty city and she doesn't want her daughter here. Truth is, she just wants to punish him for leaving.

He left because he had to, he tells himself. They weren't in love anymore. Even his kidnapping and subsequent amputation couldn't save them. In fact, it only pulled them further apart. He tells himself this is because it just wasn't meant to be. Or maybe he had posttraumatic stress disorder or she just couldn't love someone with a stump for a foot. Maybe it was all Jigsaw's fault. He tells himself this but, deep down, he knows it is because of another reason.

Flashes of the dark haired man sleeping in the very white hospital bed send chills down his spine. His hair is matted to his head, skin still clammy from the moment the fever broke, and his chest rises and falls rhythmically. Lawrence had never been happier than to watch that frail chest rise and fall from his wheelchair across the room. He moans every now and then and shifts slightly, but his strength has been drained and he is just barely out of the woods.

It was the infection that nearly killed him. The infection was caused from a gunshot wound to his shoulder. Lawrence still has nightmares about the feeling of that cold metal in his shaky hand.

He visited Adam as often as possible in the days after that, always observing. He never touched him, not once. He is a doctor and is not shy about touching patients, assessing them. Adam, though, he never could. The feeling of Adam's warm cheek under his palm still radiates in his memory. It sent feelings through him that he had never felt before, not even for Ali. It was fear that kept him in that corner and far away from his former cellmate, his friend, maybe more. It was the fear that maybe they were more and that if he did feel Adam's skin under his again he would never be able to let go.

The joke was on Lawrence, though, because even his self-imposed distance couldn't stop him from holding on nearly two years later.

Maybe if Adam had woken up, come to his room, touched him, things would be different now. Maybe Lawrence wouldn't have to think about him every day when he saw a mop of dark hair run by him on the street. He wouldn't wake in the middle of the night with an intense fear that his friend, or more, was somewhere out there and needed his help.

But things weren't different. Adam had never come to his room. He had simply vanished. Lawrence had wheeled in to see him one particularly gloomy afternoon to find that his bed was made up and he was gone. The AMA papers were on the stand next to the bed. The nurse, seemingly annoyed, informed him that his 'friend' had told her one thing before he left for good: "Tell Lawrence I'm sorry."

He instantly regretted not touching him. Because now all he has is that day in the bathroom – their brief and tearful embrace.

The kids outside run back the opposite way and Lawrence watches as they narrowly miss being hit by an oncoming car. He startles out of his thoughts and turns toward the hallway behind him. The hospital is bustling and he notices one of the nurses flagging him down. She is on the phone and it appears that he is needed immediately.

He has been in New York City for four weeks and it is everything that a fresh start should be. New apartment, smaller than the one in LA but Ali was always the extravagant one, new job, new life.

Yet, two questions still haunt him.

Where is Adam?

And, the other….

Was he in love with me, too?