A/N~ 'sup, random people on the web! For those of you who know me, congrats! You won nothing!

Anyway, I'm the~penguin~otaku, author of exactly two stories, and I am in love with Russia. And penguins. Like my name suggests.

Updating will totally be slow, because I have a gazillion projects, no planning skills, a high tendency to get writer's block, so much homework that it hurts, and I have to deal with the problem a boy at my school died recently (as in, a few days ago). Oh, and all the emotional happiness/stress/issues going on in my life. Yeah. Did I mention the writer's block? That's why I haven't worked on Let's all eat at McDonald's! since forever. For those of you who have read it, Russia sends you a virtual sunflower! (By the way, if you have any ideas for that, message me. Now.)

This…. may as well be random. Came from a chat/roleplay thing my friends and I did and…. yeah, at least this isn't smut. I tried writing smut once, and it failed. Badly. My smut is really bad. Its almost as bad as Mary-sues in Death Note fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read any of those; they oftentimes suck ass. No offense if you happened to have written one,

Looking back at this chapter, I'm actually surprised I'm going to try a horror fic. This story is so different from LAEaMcD (my abbreviation for it) that I'm surprised I even thought of this.

My first chapters always suck.

I know, I know, you want to read the goddamn story, dontcha? Well, too bad, because this chapter is just an introduction. The next few chapters are gonna kill me.

Moving on….

Russia stared out the window. Soft white snowflakes were falling to the ground. Like usual. He wanted change from his life. He wanted warmth.

He wanted more land.

A small grin crept across his face. An evil grin. A Russian grin.

Years of war have taught him one thing. You had to get what you want.

Then again, years of war also made him mentally unstable.

No matter.

He thought back to the Soviet Union. How he conquered all those countries...he had it all. Why the hell did it fall?

"Belarus, I'm going to go take over Kazahkstan."

"Have fun with that, big brother."

As he started out the door, another Cold War memory hit him.

That capitalist pig who kept trying to beat the crap out of him.

Yeah. With him in the way, all he'd accomplish was getting bombed. Or worse, nuked. He had enough of that game. He thought the Cold War was a waste of time.

WHAT RUSSIA THINKS OF NUCLEAR WAR:

Russia + nukes-pointed towards other countries= good

Russia + nukes pointed at him= BAD.

Russia sighed. Damned American.

He would have to think this over.

"Belarus, never mind, I'm going out for a drink."

"Have fun with that, big brother."

"SHUT UP!" Alfred screamed at no one in particular. Ever since that damned communist started scaring the shit out of him back in the 1940's, he's been hearing a voice in the back of his head. Kill them all. Kill them. It was at first ignorable, but now it was like shouting into his mind.

What the crap was wrong with him?

He wanted to follow the voice. But at the same time, he wanted it to stop. Some days he would be his happy, burger-eating self, others he'd lock himself in his room and break breakable objects. He was just happy the maid hadn't found the long marks of black paint splattered across the walls of his closet, among the other signs of his anger.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn…

You could just take over them. You're a superpower, why can't you do it? Think of all the things they've done to you-

" I said SHUT THE HELL UP!" America flung out his arms and knocked over a lamp.

"Hey, America, what the bloody hell is going on in there?" England said, walking in.

England didn't know about the voice. No one knew.

Murder him. You saw how he treated you back in the revolution. You could totally pwn him, and all of the other nations. You could-

"SHUT UP AL-" oh, right, England was here. "Oh, uh, sorry. I, uh…tripped. And broke this lamp here."

England just stared. "Okay then…" He backed out of the room, America was sure that he heard him call him a wanker.

America… you know….

"Shut the hell up already."

But think of all the things that-

Dammit, he needed a beer.

Yeah...basically, America is crazy. Woot. I like mentally unstable characters- hence the reasons I am a 100% Russia fangirl.

The beginning sucked, but I needed a reason for the two to meet. And I'm too lazy to make them meet at a G8 meeting. That, plus I want them to be dead-drunk. Because dead-drunk lets lots of fun things happen. Also, I am not planning on heavy yaoi. Mainly because my friends would kill me (seeing they're both male) if they saw this was a romance.

To my two friends, America and England: yeah…this takes a really different turn from what we were doing….

Note: Kazahkstan is a country in the Central Asian Republic. It was once in the Soviet Union (I think). Belarus sounds really OOC right now….meh, she'll get better by chapter 5. Hopefully.

Please R and R! Do so and win a free bottle of vodka! An empty one, though, because Russia has already drank it.