Short snippets, because the long story I had in mind is never going to be finished and I figured someone might get a laugh out of this regardless.

"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a Muggle."

To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled. "Not a Muggle, eh? Never not been able to make things happen when you was scared, or angry?"

Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it... not once had he ever performed accidental magic. Even when Dudley and his Aunt and Uncle were practically tormenting him, he'd never so much as exploded an expensive vase. He'd always fancied himself a late bloomer, but being a Muggle would certainly explain a lot.

"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as average, just as – as – normal – and then, if you please, she went and got into a car crash and we got landed with you!"

Harry had gone very white. As soon as he had found his voice he said, "A car crash? You told me they were killed by You-Know-Who!"

"YOU-KNOW-WHO!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could You-Know-Who kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal!

"This is the basketball," said Wood. "The attackers throw the basketball to each other and try to get it through the opposing team's hoop to score points. One point for a penalty shot, two if the shot's from inside the three-point line and three if it's from outside the line. Follow me?"

"The attackers throw the basketball and put it through the hoops to score," Harry recited. "So – that's sort of like Quidditch on the ground with only two hoops, isn't it?"

"What's Quidditch?" said Wood curiously.

"Never mind," said Harry quickly.

Hoped you smiled.

-TeamVampire