"Be with me, until the time, I don't say the things you're needing me to say, one day I, I might seem unkind, you know I wish there was another way, I will have to take away my best, though it won't feel right inside my aching chest, you'll never grow, if I don't go, you gotta try, to learn to need me less, I haven't been very fair, I'd be lying if I said I don't see what's wrong, I've let us be, as we are, 'cause I like to feel that somehow I belong, and before I leave you I will guess, that being fine alone will be the hardest test, but I'll never grow, if I don't go, I gotta try, to learn and need you less."

"I can't do this anymore."

For a minute Chord can't breathe as he stands in their living room, the words coming from Chris' mouth hitting him hard and knocking the breath out of him. His body turns numb, his chest tightens painfully, and his breath hitches so achingly in his throat that he chokes on the gulp of air, his stomach churning sickeningly as he stands there.

"Chord…"

He's trying hard to process what Chris said as he tries to force himself to speak or move or anything at this point, nothing working and everything shutting down as Chris waits.

"Chord please-I'm sorry."

He has a million questions he's trying to ask all at once as they come barreling into his mouth quickly, his lips quivering as they try to form words but only air and tiny gasps escaping.

"I just-I thought-I thought that I could do this and-and I thought we'd be ok…I just-I can't…"

His eyes burn a hole through Chris painfully as they search the other boy for answers, his retinas growing dry and itchy as they stare in confusion. He can feel the piercing hot sting of tears forming in the corners of his eyes and he tries to blink them away, his body still refuting to do anything as it waits for Chris to finish.

"Chord it's not you, it's never been you, please understand," Chris pleads as he steps towards the blonde carefully and explains, "It's just-it's me, and how lost I am right now. How lost I let myself get with you."

The tips of his fingernails cut through the flesh of his palm as they clasp to the sensitive skin inside, his hands gripping in fists as they try to hold himself together as he slowly falls apart. His feet feel heavy as they sink with his gut into the floor, Chord positive that at any moment he'll fall right there.

"I just-you scare me Chord, you absolutely terrify me," Chris whimpers as he shakes his head, "Because when I'm with you I don't think, I just do, and all I see is you. I'm so dependent on you, on this and us and how we are and it's not good, this isn't-I don't know how to be without you and it scares me."

He hears the words that come from Chris' small, cherry lips but they don't really register as they fall and shatter at his feet, Chord's mind only able to see the suitcase on the floor and the keys in his hand.

"Chord I've been trying, trying so hard to figure out what I want and what I need for myself," Chris croaks as he swallows hard, "And I think more than anything I just need time, time to figure out who I am without you, who I am on my own and what I what and what I need."

He bends down to pick up the suitcase and every part of Chord's being wants to lunge for the brown luggage and throw it out the window, the voice inside his head that'd been warning him all along now screaming at him to do something finally. He tries to move and he tries to speak but nothing works properly as it remains frozen in place, Chord's body on fire as it revolts against him.

"I just-I just need time to be Chord, I'm so sorry," Chris says lowly as he tightens his grip on the handle, a hiccup breaking his speech as he tries to regain control, "I never meant to hurt you."

He waits another moment as he watches Chord stand there, thanking God if there is one that Chord's not making this any harder than it already is. He glances around the room quickly as he makes peace and says goodbye to the home they once shared, memories of them moving in and building their life slowly playing in his mind. There's Chord painting the living room and spilling the red paint everywhere, with Chris trying to clean it up but instead starting a paint fight. There's the night they had their fist big fight over Chord's parents and Chris kicking him out of their bedroom, the blonde sitting outside the door all night and singing Peter Pan songs until he was let in. His favorite though is when they brought Nana home and she peed all over Chord's laundry basket, the way Chris' boyfriend bit his lip and re-washed his clothes something that still made him smile even now.

"I'll never forget you Chord," Chris mumbles as he nods his head slowly, running the backside of his hand across his cheek and down to his chin, "I'll never forget what we had. And maybe-maybe one day when I figure this all out I'll-I'll come back and-or I'll…" He trails off as he examines the floor for some sort of answer, feeling guilty as he gives Chord a sort of hope he can't promise. He feels guilty and angry at himself for what he's done but he knows if he stays it'll only get worse, his mind going through the checklist of reasons it had made for why this was right again.

"Bye Boo," he waves softly as he delicately flicks his fingers, Chris fumbling with the doorknob as he tries to escape in one piece.

"But I love you," Chord whispers as his voice cracks, Chris pausing in the doorframe as he turns, "But-but I love you." There's a tear rolling down his cheek as his eyes lock into Chords', Chris losing whatever composure he had as he nods.

"I know you do babe," he nods as he breathes deeply, everything blurring around him as he turns his back for the last time "And I love you too…that's why I'm letting you go."