nothing takes your place

He finishes out the year and the third novel before he makes a decision.

She is sitting at her desk in the otherwise deserted bullpen when he finds her. At first she doesn't look up, but when he doesn't make a move she finally sets down her pen and leans back in her chair.

"Everything okay, Castle?" she asks after a moment. Her brow furrows in confusion and slight worry when she does look at him.

Something on his face has given him away.

"Rick?" she asks again after a moment. His name sounds different as it rolls off her tongue, but good at the same time.

The smile on his face feels forced and sad, but he pushes through it in the end.

"I'm going away for a while."

The look on her face morphs into something he can't decipher and it leaves him feeling even more distant than before.

"Castle-" her voice sounds confused and unhappy and he cuts her off before he changes his mind.

"It's a yearlong trip to promote Heat Rises. I just… wanted you to know before I left." he forces out pass the growing lump in his throat. It is hard to say goodbye like this, but he knows that it needs to happen.

She sits quietly for a little while, absorbing this new information that he has left her with. Her posture never changes, but the subtle differences in her facial features clues him in to how she is feeling.

She isn't as happy as he thought she might be.

"Are you coming back?" she asks after a moment. She glances up and catches his eye. He doesn't look away and he doesn't lie.

"I don't know."

Her questioning look changes into one of a confession, even though words are never said. He finally makes his move, crossing the distance between them until he is standing beside her chair. She looks up at him in the silence and the question on her face is obvious.

Why?

He reaches out, fingers brushing against her cheek in the lightest of touches before he pulls back. He hears the elevator and knows that Josh is coming to pick up her up before going home. Their moment disappears as he puts distance between them again, turning when he is near the exit.

He stands there a moment, staring back at her as she stares at him.

"Goodbye Kate," his voice is soft and before she can speak he is gone.