Disclaimer: I do not own TD, however much I want to.

You always thought Duncan was perfect.

You knew that it was stupid, that you were acting like any teenage girl swooning over any good-looking guy.

But you did.

You thought his smooth, sarcastic accent was perfect. You thought that his smile, the one just for you, was perfect, with his eyes shining with the emotion he kept for you.

And you thought you were the dysfunctional one, the one who would make rules to their relationship to keep the one thing that was perfect in your life.

You ignored the outside 'bad-boy' look and focused on the sweet side, like you would with the cake you would bake. You thought he was trouble when you stepped off the boat, with his rugged, delinquent appearance.

Yes, he was trouble.

But trouble was what you needed. You lived by the rules your whole life, horrified by the consequences of breaking them, whether it was a telling off or a life sentence.

You lived, for once. You stole food, and it tasted better than any five-star meal you ever had. You kissed him, which felt better than anything you had ever done in your life.

You got voted off.

Seeing his face crumpling was one of the most painful things you had ever seen.

And at that moment you knew that you loved him.

Loved.

You had never experienced love. You knew your parents as well as you knew the Queen of England. You practically lived on your own since you were eleven. Sure, you had friends, but you were not close to them, like Katie and Sadie were.

You discovered that love was painful.

You discovered that love was the most beautiful things in the world.

None of those teen romance books you read did it justice. You understood that while experiencing the longest moment of your life, the boat ride, away from him.

The resort was hell. It was full of the insane lunatics you had put up with for those twelve episodes. You watched those reruns, and you couldn't stop smiling.

Duncan got voted off.

Those moments you shared were the best in your life. They were mild, so mild that any romance author would scowl and skip it.

But to you, it was your life. The most wonderful thing you have.

You let him down.

You ran off with the million dollars, hastily explaining that you'd split it.

You think it was the worst choice you ever made.

You didn't make it anyway.

You became insane with rage as you sat at home, sitting with your childhood stuffed animals on your bed, running your fingers through your hair. The best thing in your life had been ripped away from you. He made it, you didn't.

Yet you kept that tiny ember of hope that he still cared for you.

The ember subsequently put it self out after you watched the next season.

Gwen.

You always hated her. You never liked those kinds of girls that would look like a mime and complain about things that everyone hated.

Now you had a new reason.

But you also started to hate yourself.

You let him go.

Just like that.

Gwen picked up the pieces.

So you sued the show, desperately trying to get back on.

Yet when you got back on, you saw him. That green hair, those hypnotizing teal eyes. His eyes brightened with delight and some emotion that you were afraid to classify.

Something snapped within you.

You became obsessive, desperately trying to hold on to his heart.

You lost.

You knew that you would.

You lost more than the show.

You wanted him to win.

So after you saw the look on his face, you couldn't help running up to him and kissing him.

You managed to scrounge a spot on the next season.

But honestly, you rather you didn't.

You wished that you would stay home, away from him.

Because you couldn't let go of him. No matter how hard you tried.

He got out, but came back.

'Newly improved'.

He hooked up with Gwen.

Yet when you got back home after that China escapade, home didn't feel like home.

Home is where the heart is.

And as you sit there, crying your soul out, you know, deep down, that this is all true.

Perfect. Just freakin' perfect.

Authors Note:

I so was not expecting how this story came out. I originally wanted some kind of deep scene where Courtney would confront Duncan, but instead in came out as a rambling thought-trail. This was actually a test for me to see if I could write in second person, and I decided to publish it here. Besides, I was suffering from both DxC detachment and TD detachment. :3