A/N: Sorry for longer wait... Natalie Portman's other movie... and just plain other things are in the way. There's only so much time in a day. Thank you for loyal readers who keep on reading and supporting. You're the only ones that keep me going! :)
Chapter Seven: Blackout Part 2
You are, my cinema.
I can watch you forever.
Action, Thriller...
I can watch you forever...
You are, my cinema.
A Hollywood treasure.
Love you, just the way you are.
My cinema...
Get up, Get Down!
Bounce to the sound!
All them Swans gonna break it down!
Get up, Get down!
Bounce to the sound!
All them Black Swans gonna...
Dr-dr-dr-dr-dr-DROP THAT BASS!
With a smooth sonic sweep and a growling crush, that bass indeed "dropped" as the electronic dance crowd would say. For the inebriated dancers it dropped so hard that not a soul in the club could resist its thumping power. Above the madness sat the Swan girls themselves, Lily shuffling her feet playfully while Nina and her nuzzled in their own corner of a suite. If it was the devilish deviants underneath being shameless it was the elegant elite on top enjoying it afar, the highest floor being the reserve overlook for the Swan cast tonight.
Nina could see nothing but black. Black clothes. Black feathers. A lot of Black Swans in the blackened crowd...
Just not the Black Swan she was looking for...
"So is this party sweet or what my babies?" Jade popped her head in on the two swans before either could say a word, leaning over the barricade to get a peak down at the craziness she unleashed upon the club. "Kind of just like home right Lily? Just... not as much fake tits and Teflon."
"Heh... true." Lily simply replied with a forced smile, just holding onto Nina like a gentle vice. It was that familiar combination of romance and tension, the only formula Lily really knew in her life before Nina. Jade could only playfully take notice in a passing glance before eyeing her party again. Awkward just couldn't describe this... properly.
"God you two are so cute together." The new Swan Queen commented over the music, making it even more... awkward. "I think about the past and just kind of laugh. Sometimes things just work out for the best. And sometimes things work out... um... perfectly huh?"
"Yeah..." Nina peaked at Lily like a flash from the past, trying to remember the dark haze that was her life. "Perfect..."
"And this night is gonna be perfect too!" Jade sat down in a graceful plunk, quite snug and with that scope blue drink in her hand uninvited. "I figured since we're all going to be working together closely from here on out, I wanted this to kick off the way I only know how."
"Obnoxiously big...?" Lily took a sip of her champagne with a suspicious curl to her look.
"Yes that... and even more to the extreme." Jade took a peak at them both with confidence. "I'm all in guys. Tonight I'm letting loose but trust me, I'm totally serious. Jade's in this for the long haul and I'll even trade my sanity away! I'm in this to be someone worthy of replacing you Nina."
Nina admired the mindset as much as she worried about it. Lily just thought this was about as brown nose as it got.
"Jade you are worthy because we chose you." Nina replied calmly as Thomas would. "Just work as hard as you can and I know it will be fine."
"Thanks Neens, you've been the sweetest thing to me." Jade bowed her head only to spray them with a shady blessing. "Lily is one lucky... girl... huh?"
Miss Lily had enough of the games.
"Ahem, er... look, If you're serious about helping Nina's production, then I want to make sure things are straight between you and me." Lily held Nina's hand tighter as they both stood against the new girl as a team. "Honestly Jade? I wished you weren't the Swan Queen and you'd be packing your bags and be out of New York by tomorrow."
"Bu~t..." Jade hinted with anticipation.
"But... I know how important this production is," Lily's wisdom had grown as much as Nina's spirit. "Especially to NIna. And I'm not gonna let our personal stuff get in the way of it."
Nina's hands against Lily's body stroking spoke much louder than words of her appreciation. Jade on the other hand couldn't be read even if she had her thoughts written on her forehead.
"So basically you still hate my guts but for the sake of this new found responsible Lily... you're gonna let me slide for the duration of the tour."
"Basically, yep." Lily pondered half-heartedly as she took another sip, looking so sexual yet... devious, an old look Nina knew all too well. "But you're on a short leash and boiling inside a pressure cooker... I hope you can handle it."
"Oh I can handle it." Jade shot back with the same zeal, leaning back in her chair almost victorious in her demeanor. "So it's official. This makes us partners right? Both going to dance our a little tutu toushies off for Nina's sake?"
"Yes... partners... for now." Lily confirmed it.
"Finally some chemistry! Now that's what I'm talking about!" Jade reached out her glass with renewed excitement. "Come on you two. We're gonna be a team from now on and we're going to kick ass and take no prisoners right?"
"Let's just start by not doing anything stupid..." Lily popped her positive bubble. "Fair enough?"
"Just like old Lily!" Jade chuckled as she apparently agreed. "So mean yet helpful."
"Don't mention it..."
The silence next was almost louder than the club music. For Nina the silence was a reminder of a time. A moment where she began coming out of her shell. Leaning against a booth and feeling a drug... or even a being take over her body. Lily's sweet smell to the left of her lips almost touching...
**Come in Nina...**
"We~ll... so ladies.. what do you think?" Jade playfully leaned towards them with conniving eyes. "We can just sit here and be all boring or..."
**Roll... it'll only last a few hours...**
"... We go dancing." Nina opened her mouth again with a stare at her girlfriend, trying to relive the moment. The Lily that sat next to her... wasn't even close to the one she was with that night. This one's eyes had too much care to be any kind of catalyst to that nostalgia. The person across the table... though.
"Yes party girl Nina... let's go dancing." Jade never looked so... mischievous.
- B - B - B -
The blur was beginning. Downing drinks left and right. Jumping passionately to the music. Dancing against the most beautiful girl in the world. Nina was feeling the thump, the push and the same rush a wild girl on the night would feel. That feeling she had only one other time in the her life... the first night out with Lily. Truthfully it was only a taste of it. It had been hours now... and it just didn't feel right. There was still a stiffness. There was still a tension. The same old ghosts.
"You are so hot baby..." Lily was already getting to her state of ecstasy, letting this night be one of complete release. The alcohol seeped into Nina's nose as they began making out in the middle of the dance floor, eyes wide opened and grinding fully aware.
Nina could see it in Lily's eyes even though she was tipsy. The fact that Lily that couldn't get enough of the more sensual and intoxicating things in life was still deep inside her. Nina could see the fun inside her as she moved. The way Lily was touching her... it was as publically passionate as ever. Why couldn't life be more like this? More open... more natural.
It's because I'm still a little girl... trying to play adult. Like it's a part in a ballet... dressed the part but with nothing inside.
The moment was the first time. It was so primal. It was so organic. This night, as much fun as Nina was having, she knew this wasn't going to last. She needed to let loose but was as stiff as Sayers usually was. The alcohol wasn't doing a thing... this was fake. It was all a facade like she was on a stage. Not an ounce of difference.
"What's wrong Nina?" Lily's lazy eyes stared into her soft orbs, Nina pressed up so tight against her like a child. The darker of the ballerinas could feel the tenseness in her girlfriend with ease.
"N-nothing..." Nina shook her head in defiance, glancing at all the Black Swans around her having so much fun. The Odiles that infested this room just had... that something inside, that innate urge to be in a place like this.
Still just a little girl... playing in a big girl's world.
"Just relax baby..." Lily had her arms wrapped around her neck, her head pressed against Nina as she danced. "Relax and have fun..."
"Relax..." Nina blinked a few times, dancing half-heartedly now as she sighed. "... It's been almost a y-year... since then... and you're still telling me this... like I can't do it myself."
"Huh...?" Lily swayed her to the beat... almost moving them both by her own will and not Nina's.
I didn't change at all. I don't deserve this... where is my... Black Swan?
"Nina!"
"AH! Nina felt herself bumped so hard almost knocking her over because of the alcohol that ran through her body. She turns back up to see a cloud of darkness, a cluster of dancers that looked the Odile part as well but had no substance. She swore somebody had bumped her on purpose, whispering the words "Looking for me?" as they passed. Nina couldn't hear clearly and it was distorted... but the voice was recognizable. Was it Lily...? Was it... Jade? Was it... Thomas? Was it... her mother?
"Lily?" Nina looked around surrounded by only black, her white dressed girlfriend nowhere to be seen. "Lily where are you?"
Why you looking for her baby girl? ... Can't you stand on your own two feet? She's not coming this time...
"... If you want to show yourself. Show up." Nina scowled as she was expecting a sea of images to sweep her mind but nothing was there.
Lily deserves a woman like Jade. Not... you.
"S-shut up..." Nina pushed her way through the crowd almost as if the voice was just a few persons ahead and she wanted to confront it. She swore... she saw... Odile peak through a few body parts in the club crowd. She saw herself... egging her on in the most teasing and threatening way imaginable.
You wanted to unleash yourself again right? To prove yourself as a fucking adult right? Then.. come on sweet heart. Go crazy... let's do this one more time. Are you scared? Or are you REALLY looking for me?
**In a subway train Nina sees that double in black, the white Swan fighting through the crowd to get to her. The double turns back smiling in a teasing wave, walking off the subway train. Nina fights as hard as she can but too many people are pushing against her... losing the darkness.**
"I'm looking... for me. The one I know that was inside." Nina breathed heavy as she felt the alcohol really hit her, landing in the middle of a huge group. "I can handle that me now..."
You can handle me? The one that stabbed you. The one that almost put you six foot deep under dirt? Heh-heh... be careful what you wish for little girl...
Nina's vision was doubled as a few teens were so excited being in the presence of the Swan Queen herself. The star of Swan Lake had her fans even here. A bunch of Odiles were touching her, even a few begging to kiss her. Dark dressed gentlemen suddenly handed her a drink, one that was bubbling... like a pill had been dropped.
**Nina stared at the glass as Lily dropped that pill in, staring at the amber drink bubble like it was an elixir to a path to perfection. The Lily behind the glass kept shifting to that Black Swan, smiling at her evilly.**
You go on this ride again... there's nowhere to run this time.
This Nina didn't even hesitate, taking the drink with all the passion and reckless behavior she wanted.
- B - B - B -
We can fight our desires
But when we start making fires
We get ever so hot
Whether we like it or not
They say we can love who we trust
But what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions
And what are feelings without emotions
Lily was always the off one. She loved the fact really. In a room full of all too serious ballerinas she was the carefree sassy dancer out of all of them that just could've cared even less that she already did. Being the only spec of white in the entire club made her the target of many prowlers. They were just obstacles in the way as Lily would brush them aside no matter how hot they were. She couldn't believe she'd lost Nina, her priority. Her life. In a blacked out room... where everyone was dressed like Odile... it was almost impossible to find her.
"Hey Mad, Gail, you've guys seen Nina?" Lily let out a breath as she felt the alcohol weigh her down, scrambling into the Swans VIP room.
"Neen neen is probably dancing like the superstar she is!" Gailana blurted out as she was in the arms of a ballerino all flirty.
"Yes... why aren't you out there too Fo sheezy Lily? She can't have all the fun by herself!" Madeline was just as out of it as her teammate, having her own man draped on her like a muscle blanket.
"Thanks... for the help." Lily groaned. She held her head as asking these two for help now was as bad as asking Thomas for a break during practice. She bolted out the VIP room in a stumbling grace, trying to walk straight down the hallway but struggled on the heels while having that hammered feeling.
If you're not okay... I'll never forgive myself!
Lily took a peak into some rooms as she opened random doors... catching groups of Black Swans taking shots... and even some things not comfortable being mentioned. She'd checked all over the club as thoroughly as she could but with no sign of her love she was getting beyond worried. She knew Nina's history with this type of thing. Lily just couldn't imagine going through this stuff again. She promised to be there for her always...
"... Fuck why did I drink so much?" Lily frustratingly held her head as she leaned back against the wall, trying to clear her head for another swoop search for her beautiful swan.
"So... you two are street dancers huh?"
The voice that usually made Lily cringe was actually a welcomed earful.
"JADE!"
Jade turned seeing Lily with a blinking wave. She was apparently conversing with a pair of well built boys, the common crowd for her. Lily walked over hurriedly grabbing her wrist.
"Jade come on... help me find Nina."
"Nina? What's up? You lost her? Heh, we were drinking together like half an hour ago. She said she was going to go find you."
"S-she did?"
"Yeah... what happened?"
"I... we were dancing... and ugh... just never mind." Lily urged her. "Y-you look semi-sober... everyone else is too fucked up to help."
"Heh... I guess I do hold my shit together well... um..." Jade turned to the guys. "Uh sorry fellas... I gotta go find my boss."
"Whoa but wait a second! I thought we were gonna-"
"You two are hot guys... go gay for tonight. It's totally the in thing." Jade winked sarcastically, pulling off with Lily as the one in white was dragging them along. "Whoa.. .h-hey Lily calm down. She isn't like in danger. She's not like before-"
"I know, I know... but I really want to make sure she's okay." Lily was looking around desperately. "It'll make me feel better alright?"
Jade blinked, looking all teasing at her. "You really... care for this girl don't you?"
"Of course..." Lily glanced at her as if she was stupid.
"No... I mean... you REALLY... care for her." Jade smiled. "It's so grown up of you..."
Lily just shook her head and shh'd her. "Come on... memory lane later..." She gripped her head. "I think I ate a Hash Brownie and I got fifteen minutes before it kicks in."
"Hah... you ate one of Gailana's weed brownies too?" Jade took her own glance around the club. "Heh okay... we gotta find Nina quick... come on let's go."
- B - B - B -
I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand
"So how do you know you don't like cock dear?"
Nina shook her noggin as she awoke from a dazed sleep, groaning as she felt the biggest pulsing headache. She looked over, vission as blurry as can be. She could barely make out who was talking to her just a few feet away. It was Jade... no... Lily... no Odile...
"I..."
"Nina, no offense but how can you know you're a lesbian if you've never had any... you know... testosterone up inside you?"
"... I liked boys... I mean.. m-men..."
**Attack it! ATTACK IT!**
**Nina swirls from the Black Swan's coda, landing into Thomas' arms both of them staring into one another's eyes. She pulled his head into her face kissing him with a furious passion.**
**Is that sensual enough? Am I... seducing you?"**
"Me and Lily used to get so crazy! I'm talking like multiple partners... girls and guys... heh... oh man... so fucked up." Nina blinked a few times as she heard the voice clearer, staring at Jade now. The Foxy vixen was whispering into her ear. "You gotta live a little... and do those things. Sex... is like anything else... you need to practice... you need to explore..."
"Practice... makes perfect..."
"Exactly dear..." Jade brings a drink up to Nina's lips, letting her swig another shot of wine. "You gotta... be crazy sometimes to be... sane."
"Yes... I ... agree..."
**Nina kept Lily pinned against the bed, making out with her underneath. For once... she wanted to dominate this vixen. This insatiable sexy nymph that she couldn't get enough of . Her kisses were so passionate... and then something more as she nibbled on Lily's under lip.**
You want to be crazy... then be crazy...
"You're such a funny girl Nina... such a sexy girl. I know you got a wild side in you." Jade's face melted into the Odile she was trying to find. Feathers and all in her face. "Why aren't you still looking for me? Heh... heh... heh..."
The search was on going. The night was going by like a fast forwarded tape. Grinding... making out... drinking... rolling... all without Lily there to watch her.
Standing... on her own.
- B - B - B -
"Lily... LILY! I found her!"
Nina felt herself being pulled up as she felt almost weightless like she was on a roller coaster. Almost like being on the highest cloud and laying there, similar as she would after landing on the mattress after Odette's 'death' for those many show nights. She saw flashes of Jade looking a bit worried as she tried to compose herself.
"Hey Nina you alright? I think you over did it party girl!"
"Nina!" Lily's concerned face was the next thing she saw, bringing a smile to Nina's face.
"Lily... I am... having so much.. fun..." Nina mumbled weakly, pressing her lips into Lily's chin and trying to have another kiss-a-thon.
"Baby why the hell did you go off and scare me like that?" Lily helped keep her standing, nuzzling her face to a still relaxed forehead press.
"... S-stop being a party.. pooper..." Nina groaned now with the most taunting tone... similar to the one she used on her mother coming back from her 'double date' with Tom and Jerry. It was almost schizophrenic... almost.
"Jeez Nina knows how to get down... guess I underestimated her." Jade laughed in her plastered state everything was overly amusing. The two struggled as they were walking along the side of the club. Lily even in her drunken demeanor found little humor in this.
"This is serious! We need a place for her to rest. I-Mmph..." Lily kept on accepting Nina's kissing reluctantly to keep her occupied.
"Heh... alright you frisky friends..." Jade motioned them towards the outside door. "I got a suite upstairs she can crash at."
Having fun... aren't we Nina?
- B - B - B -
With a swipe of a hotel key Lily and Jade barreled into the suite with a struggling Nina. The large suite was as fashionable and high class as it came, looking eerily similar to the place where Nina was toasted as the Swan Queen for the first time. Everything always... had the same vibe.
"I need to... go to the restroom..." Nina gently pushed away, falling towards the door and wriggling at the door knob. After opening it clumsily she closed it with a gentle slam, not even glancing at Jade or Lily's way.
"Don't lock it Nina!" Lily held the door as Nina just gurgled a response back that sounded like "Okay.".
"Jeez relax, heh heh... you're acting like her mom." Jade walked towards the far end of the suite.
"Don't ever say that." Lily turned to her seriously, knowing exactly how bad that sentence actually was. Jade hadn't the slightest idea.
"Whoa whoa... okay okay... sorry." Jade shook her hands in a non combative manner. "You know it's like every time I talk to you it's like defusing a bomb or something."
"..." Lily tapped her foot in reply, leaning against the wall. She took back the angry outburst with a calm nod, knowing Jade didn't mean anything by it. In fact, she was beginning to feel a bit guilty for the entire weeks that had passed. Had she... over done the guilt trip?
"Look, S-sorry for..."
"It's cool... don't say another word." Jade was filing a glass of water up to the top. "The weed's hitting you hard now isn't it? ... You haven't been smoking as much."
"Yeah... that was a stupid idea." Lily closed her eyes tight to keep the room leveled, breathing calmly. For the first time in a long time... she didn't want to lash out at Jade. "Thanks for finding... Nina."
It has to be the weed...
"Don't mention it old friend." Jade shrugged it off. "Hey, I need boss to teach me how to kick ass on stage after all." A cold glass was at Lily's side. "Water?"
"... Yeah..." Lily took it with an appreciative nod. Jade leaned back now against a wooden chair, holding her own head now with a little groan.
"Fuck I think that weed is starting to hit me too.. heh... heh..."
"Just like old times..." Lily mumbled to herself, looking to the floor. Jade curled her lips at the mention.
"Reminds me of ... hey, remember when we went to that Excision and Datsik concert?"
"Y-yeah... heh... and we both got so high we-"
"We woke up in the back counter of a Denny's the next day?"
"Yeah... good times..." Lily coughed uncomfortably after a hesitation. "Ordered... three grand slams that morning..."
"Hehehe, you know dear, I think this is the first time we've spoke in several years and not like you know..."
"Act bitchy?"
"Exactly..."
"Well... can you blame me?"
"No... no I can't." Jade had to take a seat as she felt the room whirling a bit. "Lily... um... you know I-"
"Jade... keep things the way they are. I don't want any explanations... or... um... whatever..." Lily took her own seat at the couch, closing her eyes again. "I may not be so angry anymore but we're never going back to the way things were... I'm too different for that."
"I know. You're in too good of a place... I got it." Jade smiled only to give a serious face that was seldom scene. "Lily, I just want you to know... that I'm happy for you. And all your success... you deserve it. I know we left on bad terms... I just wish I could tell you exactly what I was thinking back then... I'm not saying I was right... but... weren't we both stupid kids at the time?"
Lily only blinked a few times, putting her glass down. She wanted to keep hating Jade with a passion but things we shifting. It was like knowing that a roller coaster drop was coming but she didn't want it to. Only one word could... sum up her feelings at the moment.
"... Fuck."
- B - B - B -
Nina held onto the porcelain as she had to divulge the poisons within... vomiting alcohol and whatever else she did to herself tonight into the bowl. She looks up staring at a Black Swan who was not quenched just yet. Odile... was having too much fun. Dress up was no longer just... dress up.
Just like last time eh Nina?
"No... not like last time..." Nina stumbled back, wiping her face with sink water before falling into the bathtub and laying there in a deadman's rest. She closes her eyelids, blinking only a few times... feeling the numbness like she was underwater... hearing only the still liquid bob in small waves.
So it's not like last time? How so..?
"I saw the images before... I've seen you before... I've seen my skin peel... I've seen feathers sprout out of me..." Nina whispers to herself, suddenly seeing a dark version of herself floating above her, bleeding from her mouth. Just like... in the bath tub. It scared her...
And...
"You tried to scare me... you've tried to kill me... but you know what?"
What?
"I'm not afraid anymore..." Nina smiled drunkenly. "I've grown up... and ghosts and monsters... don't scare me anymore..."
**You're special Nina... don't be like... them.**
Nina reached up grabbing onto the dark image and pulling her down into a kiss, Odile's eyes bulging out like she was being sucked into Nina. There was a splash and a struggle but soon Odile was putty in her hands.
"I ... bit Thomas... I had sex with Lily... I stabbed myself... I... did everything..." Nina held onto Odile with no remorse. "You're nothing... nothing but an excuse... a figment of the imagination. I can... be... a Black Swan."
Mmm... sounds good.. heh... but we're not done tonight yet are we?
"No..." Nina sat up suddenly looking at her arms... seeing feathers again. She laughs to herself, feeling that emotion of recklessness in passion that was stirring with toxins that was clouding her mind of sort of judgment. She looks into the mirror... seeing the same girl that kissed Thomas. That won over the Opening Night crowd. The Swan... that started this whole journey.
"Nina! You okay?" Lily opened the door forcibly to see Nina standing right in front of it with lustful eyes. "H-hey... uh... I..."
Before words could be said Nina was against her slim body, sliding her tongue deep into her love's mouth, pinning her against the wall with great force. Lily was so surprised, her hands were frozen as Nina had never... been so forceful before. A deep moan was suppressed as their tongues battled for a moment, Lily trying to pull Nina off.
"H-hey... what Nina..."
Nina didn't let her breathe, kissing Lily into a trance as the two girl's mind was already beginning to shut off... inhibition not a concern for the primal instincts. She had to have Lily... to show Lily what a real woman she could be.
"Well.. I think I'll let you two have a great night..." Jade whispered as she tried to slide by. "Have fun okay?"
Jade was stopped by a grip on her wrist, blinking at Nina's hand.
"Hey now...Mmph!"
Lily couldn't believe it... seeing what she saw next... Nina's lips against Jade forcing a kiss upon her now. Lily took a gulp before she could even recover, the drugs forcing her to be delayed. Most of her wanted to tear the connection apart like shredding paper... another side of her... was getting... turned on in an unimaginable way.
Lily tried to force a stop between them but found Nina back on her, rolling them over to the couch in a stumbling tumble. Lily tried to pull back into control but a familiar face stopped her. Jade... a younger Jade from the past smiling right at her.
One last time... for old time sake...
It was Jade's turn to taste Lily again... Nina feasting on her neck at the same time. Lily could only moan helplessly into the moment, all three girls letting it all go as she was being pleasured by two gorgeous creatures. They were all lost. They didn't want to even think of what they were doing.
It was the start to a night that would change.. everything.