A/N: Ok this is very angsty, but Shauna asked me to write a fic based on the song Fix You by Coldplay, and how could I resist? This is pre-Klaine. They've both been attending McKinley for about 3/4 weeks at this stage. The date is very significant for me.
Anyway enjoy, this fic was also Beta'd by Shauna (JustShauna)
Disclaimer – I don't own Glee unfortunately. Or Fix You.
The Seventeenth of March was always a hard day for Kurt Hummel. He shut himself off from everyone, no one ever knew what was wrong with him. He always brushed it off, making excuses like he was just tired or stressed about school. Only Burt Hummel knew the true reason for the teenager's state of sadness on this particular date.
Kurt went into school as normal that day, wearing a black buttoned up shirt, black skinny jeans, black knee length lace up boots and a simple purple bow tie. He said his hellos to everyone as he arrived, but he seemed distant. Mercedes looked worried, but Kurt assuaged her by saying he had simply stayed up all night to finish his French oral presentation.
Blaine didn't see Kurt until third period that day, but he immediately knew something was off. He'd never seen Kurt wear so much black in one outfit, the taller boy usually opted for bright colours. When he looked him in the eyes all he could see was sadness. He knew Kurt was lying when he told him that he was just tired, he knew Kurt better than that.
The two boys had grown a lot closer since they had both moved to McKinley. Blaine had decided that he was going to ask Kurt out on their first official date today, but it was clear that his timing was a little off.
All day, Blaine couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong with Kurt. Whenever he looked over to him, he would catch Kurt staring out the window with a sad smile on his face, tugging gently on his bow tie or just simply sitting there with a blank expression on his face, looking as if he was trying to suppress all emotion. Blaine decided to do something about it and pulled the other boy aside after glee club.
"You were really quiet today in glee club. Unusually quiet." Blaine said, with a slightly worried expression on his face. Kurt hummed in response.
"I suppose so." He said in a monotonous voice.
After a brief, awkward pause, Blaine decided to speak again.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong with you, or are you going to let it eat you up for the rest of the day?"
"There's nothing wrong with me Blaine, I'm just-"
"You're just tired. Yeah, I'm not buying that Kurt. I know you better than you think and I know when you're truly upset, and right now is one of those times. So please let me help you, because it kills me to see you looking so sad and looking like you're about to fall apart."
Blaine looked Kurt right in the eyes and he could see the tears brimming in his eyes. He had hit a nerve, which hopefully meant the younger boy would open up to him. Kurt looked away for a moment, trying to gather himself and the he looked back to Blaine. The hallway had been long abandoned giving Kurt the privacy he needed to open up.
"Today…today is my moms birthday. She should have been forty-seven. I know it shouldn't affect me as much as it does, seeing as this is her ninth birthday since she passed away, but it hurts the same as the first one. To know I'll never see her again, it just-"
Kurt couldn't manage to speak anymore. He found himself in Blaine's arms, neck buried in his shoulder, sobbing his heart out. Blaine was shocked, he didn't know what to think. He honestly thought the boy was just having trouble adjusting back to public school like he had. But this, this was gut wrenching. He honestly didn't know what to do except to hold him tightly and whisper into his ear that it was all going to be ok.
After fifteen minutes of solid crying, Kurt managed to pull himself together. He pried himself out of Blaine's arms, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of his shirt.
"I'm so sorry for loading that onto you," he apologised profusely.
"Don't. Don't you apologise for that. I should be the one apologising for not pressing the matter sooner."
"It's just…I feel like I can't talk to dad about it because he has Carole now. I don't want him to think I don't love Carole, because I do. And I don't want to bring up all those bad memories for dad because he's finally happy again, I don't want to ruin it for him." Kurt tried to stifle his sobbing, but he hadn't been this open about his emotions in a long time, it was hard to rein it in.
"Kurt, I'm sure your dad would prefer you to talk to him than to bottle it up like you clearly have been. I also want you to know if you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you, ok?"
Kurt nodded, smiling for the first time that day. He pulled Blaine into a hug and whispered a thank you into his ear.
"It's ok Kurt, it's all ok. I know this is a stupid question, but are you ok?" Blaine asked, with genuine concern in his voice.
"I'll be fine. Trust me." Tears were clearly forming in Kurt's eyes again, which worried Blaine.
"Come on, I'll give you a lift home." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and lead him to the direction of his car.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
After dropping Kurt home, he insisted that he would be fine and that Blaine should go home. Blaine wasn't convinced. He decided he needed to do something else to show Kurt that he was there for him and that it was ok for him to be upset.
The doorbell rang at around 7pm and Kurt went downstairs to answer it, feeling somewhat better after talking to Blaine. He had spent his evening watching the Sound of Music, as it was his mom's favourite movie. They used to watch it together on a regular basis and sing along. His mom had a beautiful voice. She even admitted to him when he was five that he was named after one of the characters.
He was surprised to open the door to see Blaine standing there with a coy smile on his face in place of his usual dapper grin.
"I have a surprise for you, if you wouldn't mind coming with me."
Kurt hesitated for a moment, but then realised he trusted Blaine enough to follow him. The two boys got in Blaine's car and drove in silence for around ten minutes. They pulled up to the local cemetery and Kurt looked at Blaine with tense look on his face. He had never yet brought himself to visit the grave, even after all these years. He knew it meant he would finally have to let go.
"I know this probably wasn't what you were expecting, or what you even wanted, but I was wondering if I could meet your mom? Maybe wish her a Happy Birthday? She's such a big part of your life and I would love for you to introduce her to me."
Kurt nodded slightly in response, tears streaming quietly down his face. Blaine got out of the car and opened the door for Kurt, who smiled appreciatively at him. Blaine then opened the back door of the car and reached inside. He pulled out his guitar and a bouquet of purple tulips.
Kurt stared at Blaine for a moment, before looking back to the flowers. The shocked expression on his face scared Blaine.
"Purple was her favourite colour…" Kurt whispered. He walked ahead, wiping the tears from his eyes. Blaine caught up with him, simply walking beside him to let his presence be known.
Although Kurt hadn't visited the grave since his mother's death, he knew exactly where it was. The walk to the grave as an eight year old boy was forever etched in his brain.
As they approached the grave, Kurt could see a fresh bouquet of Purple Toad Lilies lying there. Mom's favourite, Kurt thought, Dad must have been here earlier. Kurt smiled to himself. To know that his dad still cared enough to come and lay out flowers meant a lot to Kurt.
Blaine laid the tulips down carefully beside the lilies. He placed his guitar down beside him and sat down beside the grave, crossing his legs.
"Hello Elizabeth," Blaine said as if Kurt's mom was sitting right there. "It's lovely to meet you. I'm sorry about the circumstances and the situation that I have to meet you in, but it is still, none the less, an honour. You really have a wonderful son." Blaine looked up to Kurt when he said this to see the boy staring at him with tears falling freely down his cheeks.
Kurt stayed standing for a few moments longer, drinking in what was going on in front of him, listening to Blaine's ramblings to his mother. He had never had anyone other that his dad who cared about him this much. The boy went to so much effort, just on the off chance that it would bring Kurt some peace to his situation.
When he finally sat down, Blaine smiled at him. Kurt smiled back before turning his attention to the gravestone. He placed his hand on the grass in front of him, gripping it as if he was gripping her hand and muttered softly "I love you, mom."
Tears were beginning to form in Blaine's eyes. Only now he realised how much the younger boy had been through. Losing his mom, nearly losing his dad, being driven out of a school due to bullying. It would be enough to break any man, yet here he was, still so strong.
"Kurt?"
"Yeah, Blaine?" He looked up after staring at the grave for what had to have been almost ten minutes of silence.
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to sing. To you."
"To me?"
"Sometimes you need to realise you don't need to be this strong all the time Kurt, that you can rely on others. That you can rely on me." He looked Kurt in the eyes and smiled.
He grabbed his guitar and scooted back a little from Kurt to give himself enough space. He started playing, and Kurt instantly recognised the song. Tears formed in his eyes before Blaine even began.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
Blaine looked up to Kurt and could see the tears free falling. He had had a feeling this song might effect him like this, but he needed to get this message across to Kurt. That no matter how broke Kurt was, Blaine would always try to fix him.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Kurt still gripped the grass firmly. He swore he could feel his mom with him, giving Blaine her approval, telling Kurt he was the one he could finally help him move along. To trust him.
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
As the song slowed down, both boys looked at each other. Something passed between them, as if they both knew that their friendship had changed forever. Blaine looked at Kurt with such love and hope in his eyes that Kurt knew he was going to get through this. That they were going to get through this.
Together.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
