Words (in this chapter alone excluding anything not the story): 15, 416 words

Pairings: 8059, 1827, RL, FonXI-Pin, 6996, and some other various barely mentioned pairings…

Warning: some smut, mpreg, and Dr. Shamal

Summary: Sequel to 'Curse Verde' / Dr. Shamal, fed up with treating a male Gokudera, decided to remedy the situation; the aftermath leaves us with something close to the doomsday…

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He had gone in for a simple checkup. That was all. A simple checkup to make sure he was alright, that the disease his mom had had hadn't spread to him as well as to make sure his reckless behavior hadn't caught up to him.

So why… did he have curves? His hips were fuller than before and his shoulders were more sloping than broad. His hands and feet looked smaller as well as his muscle makeup a little more compact and slender. Not only that, but… he had… he had…

Boobs… and a vagina.

He had his hands on the former and his eyes directed toward the latter with utter disbelief, despite the fact that he couldn't see through his pants to the mutated flesh beneath.

"W-what did you do…?" He somehow managed to choke out, feeling something like a scream rise into his throat. "What did you do to me?"

Dr. Shamal, apparently not as shocked as Gokudera over his gender change, was grinning rather smugly as he took a few notes on his clipboard. "Since you won't see another doctor and I can't force you to stop following me around, I have made you an acceptable patient. Of course, finding the right trident mosquito and utilizing it for these results wasn't as easy as I could have hoped, but the product is… more than pleasing." The older man smiled lewdly.

It was true – more than just the trident mosquito having somehow morphed Gokudera into a woman, it had also drawn out the more favorable genes of the female species out of him. Had he looked like his beautiful mother before, he now could have been her twin.

His cheeks were fuller, his frame a little more fragile; his hair, instead of frizzing out at the ends, reached his jaw in subtle waves. He looked… almost gentle. Almost because he glared at Dr. Shamal with the murderous intent only Gokudera could draw up, male or female.

"That is your reasoning?" He growled low in his throat. "You changed me into a girl so you could feel me up while giving me my examinations?" His fists curled at his sides… Or was he a her now?

"… Yes." Dr. Shamal shamelessly admitted. "I actually didn't think it would turn out this well, but I guess it doesn't hurt to sometimes be wrong."

"I'm going to kill you."

Three minutes later, Gokudera blithely ignored the fire drills going off throughout the Vongola headquarters and the bombed hospital wing he had just departed from. They would find Dr. Shamal before the fire caught up to him (maybe, but Gokudera could hope otherwise), but they would have to rebuild that section of the HQ entirely.

Sadly, he couldn't bring himself to ponder the consequences of destroying Vongola property; as Tsuna's right hand man, such should have been his first priority but he was otherwise… distracted.

Perhaps he should have tried to keep a cool head a little longer… now how was he to know if the effects would wear off or not? If they do, how long till he was a guy again? If not… oh, if not, he hoped Shamal lived through the fire just so he could throw him right back into the hungry flames.

On the heels of that thought came another: what was he going to tell his lover?

He stopped cold in the hallway, a shiver running down his spine. … Yamamoto… would accept him… wouldn't he? C'mon, the baseball idiot wasn't going to walk out on him because he didn't have a dick anymore… right?

He slapped himself; stop worrying about it! If Yamamoto was that shallow, than whom the hell needed him? As it was, Gokudera needed his relationship with the rain guardian like he needed a bullet in the head! There were things he was in the making of completing – documents that needed to be drafted, peace treaties that needed to be dealt with, alliances that needed to be discussed, damages that had to be accosted… Yeah, he was too busy as it was so even if Yamamoto did leave him, he would be too deeply buried in work to notice!

… Hopefully.

…

…

Damn it, if that baseball idiot left him because of something Shamal did, Gokudera was going to hunt that sorry excuse of a doctor down and shove so much dynamite up his ass, when he lights him up he'll shine brighter than a forest fire.

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he really didn't want to leave Yamamoto or have the reverse occur. He… He l-… lo-… He just thought the idiot wasn't as much of an idiot as he had first believed.

And he didn't really mind being the Japanese man's friend, lover, partner, best friend, and reason to fight (he remembered the day Yamamoto had stood before him, then injured too badly to stand and fight some more, and the enemy, just as bloody and tired; he remembered Yamamoto managing to smile down at him, such burning emotion in his eyes that Gokudera had been startled to silence. "When I first saw you… I really wanted to get to know you. I acted like I wanted to play the 'mafia game' with Tsuna, but I just really wanted to get you to notice me… Just like Tsuna is your reason to fight harder – you're mine. As long as you're alive, I'll always aim to get stronger so I can always be by your side." Those were the sappy words the swordsman had uttered in a reverent, honest tone before finishing the fight by himself).

The reason he didn't want Yamamoto to break up with him was because he had gotten use to the idiot. And he had Yamamoto just how he wanted him and the time and effort he had taken into training the baseball freak would be wasted if they separated.

He slapped himself again; damn it, he hated being insecure! But he couldn't really stop the scenarios from flying through his mind, each depicting Yamamoto turning his back on him and leaving.

People who knew him and his past would blame his feelings of abandonment on having lost his mother at a very young age without even knowing his mother's true identity. He didn't want to give himself that kind of leeway, so he settled for mentally cursing himself.

Yamamoto wasn't going to leave him just because he had breasts and a vagina. He wasn't! Hell, he might even prefer this. After all, he had had all those girls after his (nice) ass back in school, so maybe having a woman of his own would make the idiot happy!

…

…

…

That bastard!

Gokudera had come to his own assumption that a woman was exactly what Yamamoto wanted.

He glared down at his now effeminate body, hating the fact that the female body seemed so annoyingly desperate for acknowledgment. In the transformation that had taken place (Shamal must have poked him with the trident mosquito when he had been sleeping on the hospital bed. He knew he shouldn't have trusted the damn pervert to inject him with a needle, it had most likely been a sedative!), no bras had been introduced. He could see his nipples poking through the undershirt and white sleeved vest he wore, almost as if they were vying for attention. They were like eyes with pink irises and pupils through the two layers of white.

He wrapped his arms tightly around his chest, hunching into himself.

He had left his coat back in the hospital wing. That left him in black business pants, the white sleeved vest, and the undershirt, socks, and a tie. He wasn't even wearing his shoes because he had decidedly not put them back on after having his weight taken.

He glared at the floor. Damn it, he had left his phone in his coat!

Well, he was home, so it shouldn't take too long to find someone… then again, they might all be at the other end of the mansion, trying to stop the fire from spreading… Fuck.

Fine then! He was going to his room!

He stomped to said place, swinging the door open so harshly, it slapped noisily against the wall, smashing the rubber stopper.

"Ah! Gokude-…"

The silverette stared at the raven-haired man sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed who stared back with blank amber eyes.

Fuck, Yamamoto hadn't left to take care of the hospital wing!

"W-what are you doing here, idiot? Isn't the hospital wing burning down to a crisp? S-shouldn't you be over there with your box weapons?" Had he been anyone but Gokudera, he would have considered running away as fast as he could; Yamamoto was staring at him without expression – which was so much worse than being gawked or laughed at when it came to the swordsman.

"… I've been sleeping… I woke up when I felt the room shake and I just now got the call…" Yamamoto answered slowly. "I… was… going…" He slowly lifted a hand to point at Gokudera. "Did you, um… do something different with your hair?"

It was an infinite head-to-floor moment in which Gokudera determined if his lover really was that stupid.

"And… does Dr. Shamal have anything to do with your, aah…" Yamamoto made an extremely lewd gesture of cupping his hands to his chest, symbolizing Gokudera's newly developed 'pillows'. "Ah hah…" His laughter sounded nervous and a little shaky. "I knew you were going in for a checkup… I guess I was a little confused on what kind of checkup…"

"S-shut up…" Gokudera wrenched the door out of the wall and forced it shut; there was one hinge broken and a nice dent in the wall. "He did it because he was tired of having to treat a male patient." He ground out.

"Ah! Well, that makes sense!" Yamamoto offered his signature grin.

Gokudera stared at him with rising horror. Alright, so when they had been teens and Reborn had said something along the lines of Yamamoto being the perfect guardian because he went readily along with things and wasn't easy to shock or startle, this wasn't what he had thought the swordsman could bring himself to accept so quickly!

Unless… "So I was right!" Gokudera exploded. "You do like women better!"

"H-huh? What? Gah! Gokudera, wh- !" He ended up choking as Gokudera squeezed his hands around his throat, shaking the rain guardian back and forth.

"Admit it! You're happy that I have these fucking boobs and a vagina!"

"G-Gokudera…" Yamamoto tried to wheeze between every jerk of his body. "c-c-can be… m-man or… w-woman… I don-'t… care…" He wrapped his hands around Gokudera's wrists and managed to release the silverette's deathly grip. He gasped for a moment, regained his senses, and then pressed a kiss to the storm guardian's knuckles. "I love you… I love you…" He gave a playful smirk as he nipped at the pads of Gokudera's fingers. "I love you… I don't care if you're a guy or a girl – as long as you're Gokudera with your fiery temper and spunky personality, I'll love you." He finished with nibbling Gokudera's inner wrist, amber eyes focused on the silverette's now brick red face.

"W-well… I-I… Tsch!" The silverette let himself be dragged down onto the bed into his lover's lap. He scowled at the position, hating how it made him feel weaker than the act had ever made him feel before. "Whatever…"

Yamamoto laughed warmly against his ear. "Hah hah… Gokudera made a beautiful man – it doesn't surprise me that you're just as beautiful as a woman."

"W-what are you trying to do? H-hey! Hands off!" The silverette slapped Yamamoto's hand as it undid his belt and slipped into his pants. "Don't put your hand in th-THERE!" He let loose a keening whine as Yamamoto cupped his now feminine mound. "Gah! What the hell's happening?" He felt something warm seeping. "Am I pissing myself?"

Or worse… what if it was that dreaded period he heard countless women complain about?

His angered thoughts turned to something else as Yamamoto's one finger delved into where the liquid trickled from. "N-no… W-we can't do that th-there…" What if he suddenly turned back into a guy after Yamamoto entered him? What the hell would that mean for his cock?

Yamamoto pressed a kiss to his neck and continued his ministrations regardless.

Gokudera's eyes widened to comical proportions as he felt Yamamoto tease his front, thumb grazing his clitoris (he was pretty damn sure that was what it was) until he felt the muscles in his legs trembling, his pointer and middle finger squeezing into him.

He began panting, holding onto Yamamoto's shoulder tightly as he wilted against the swordsman, body shivering. This felt… way different than anal… This felt… weird, for one… yet euphoric.

He sucked in a deep breath when Yamamoto's mouth attacked him through his two shirts, suckling around one pillow-y swell. The damp heat made Gokudera buck against the swordsman, at the same time thrusting against his fingers.

His pupils pinpointed as he felt a sharp sting of pain. Before he could even yelp, the pain was gone, replaced with a burning friction.

Yamamoto paused. "Was that…?"

Gokudera nodded slowly, head dipping into his lover's shoulder. "You ass… That's the second time you've taken my virginity."

"Hah hah… That makes me really happy…" Yamamoto kissed his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Gokudera took a moment to catalog the discomfort in his lower body. "I'm fine… K-keep going…" He would rather die than admit that he didn't want to stop.

"Gotcha." Yamamoto turned them around, laying Gokudera down on the soft, downy bed. His fingers began moving again, more slowly this time. When Gokudera whined wantonly, he scissored the digits and drew them in circular motions, eliciting mewling from his Italian lover. "This… this is a lot like how it is from the other end, isn't it?" Yamamoto was heavy lidded by now, full of lust just from watching and feeling.

"Y-yeah…" Gokudera agreed, just barely aware of his lover's words and hardly able to process them. "Why are you going so slow? Damn it, just put it in me!" He wailed.

"Hah hah… We gotta get naked first… - !"

Yamamoto, as a rule, kept his katana next to his side of the bed in case of emergency. He now had three different blades, not including his box weapons. He had the baseball-turns-to-sword katana, the training-sword-turns-to-real-sword katana, and an actual katana that he rarely used and yet kept close at hand in case he was driven to desperate lengths.

For whatever reason, that was the blade he had at his bedside at that moment.

That made it extremely easy for Gokudera to rip their clothes to shreds with the only injury being a thin cut ranging from Yamamoto's shoulder blade to his waist where he had jerked in surprise at having his blade turned against him. The good news was that he wasn't wearing a shirt anymore.

The sword stabbed through the bed, just next to Yamamoto's hand. Gokudera lied back down, arching his body up to the swordsman like the lusty offering he was. "We're naked now." He hissed in a demanding tone.

"… I guess so…" Yamamoto smirked dangerously. He rubbed Gokudera's one nipple with his thumb, dipping his head to suck the other into his mouth. "Can't I tease you a little more?"

"No, now get in me or I will force you down on the mattress and be the man you apparently can't be!"

"Hah hah! As kinky as that sounds, don't you lack the necessary parts to be a 'man' now?"

"In. Me. Or I will. Kill. You."

"Gotcha!"

At the other end of the building, an unconscious and fairly beaten Dr. Shamal was unearthed from the hospital wing remains.

There was a small smile on his lips and he muttered in his sleep about 'the perfect revenge on that brat'.

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Gokudera stood before his Don in tense silence.

Tsuna was staring at him, trying to hide his shock and astonishment. He cleared his throat, went to lean forward with his mouth open as if to speak – and then he fell back into his seat, his jaw snapping shut with an audible clack.

After last night's crazy fuck session with Yamamoto, Gokudera had resolved himself to face Tsuna as he was now! A woman in clothes a few sizes too big. Hey, wait a minute… A woman?

"… I make it a request that I still be referred to as a man." He blurted out.

Tsuna nodded numbly.

"And I wish to be treated no differently than before!"

Tsuna kept nodding; whether or not he knew what he was agreeing to was a mystery.

"Just because I have female parts does not mean I have changed in any other aspect!"

Tsuna was shaking his head now – not out of disagreement, but out of trying to shake his thoughts into order.

"And I want that useless doctor killed before a firing squad for doing this to me!"

Tsuna's shock seemed to melt away with that final demand, his expression a visible 'oh, so that's what happened'. "I understand… I think I can fulfill every one of those demands except the last one."

Gokudera pouted, glaring at the floor. "I understand, Tenth…"

The Don stood from his chair finally and made his way around his desk to the silverette. "Does… anyone else know?"

"… Yamamoto knows… and Shamal…" The second went without saying, but he was nothing but thorough when it came to any of Tsuna's questions.

"How did Yamamoto react?"

Gokudera's face turned fire truck red.

"… I see…" Tsuna had enough control over himself to contain his own blush. After all, he had played a part in the mafia for nearly 14 years now. He had been a Don for fewer years, but the point was that he had an understanding for how to retain emotions from showing.

"I'll… send a message to the necessary people about this… after I have a talk with Shamal. I want to know if this is temporary or not before I do anything."

Gokudera nodded wordlessly.

"In the meantime… I think you should go back to your room. I'll tell Yamamoto to bring you your meals, okay?"

"… I understand, Tenth." He bowed formally before turning around and leaving.

"… That was… Well, was that the most shocking thing that has ever happened to the Vongola family, Hibari?"

The unofficial cloud guardian exited from the room conjoined to Tsuna's office, a simple yet extravagantly decorated lounging room with a couch that was comfortable enough to double as a bed in case the Don was too exhausted to make it to his own room.

As of that moment, the jacket Tsuna was missing was strewn across said couch, as well as his belt which Gokudera had luckily not noticed him absent of. Hibari was buttoning up his purple sleeved vest, his tie hanging over his one arm. His hair was in disarray as if someone had tangled their hands into the tresses many times over.

Gokudera had arrived at his office just in time to watch Tsuna hunt around the floor for his missing boxers. They had fortunately been behind his desk, out of sight of the silverette.

"Pathetic; first you have a man that bears children and then you have another man that turns into a woman. Are all of your subordinates secretly housewives, Tsunayoshi?" Hibari scolded, putting his tie in place.

"I don't think big brother is secretly a housewife, Hibari." Tsuna stood close to Hibari, soaking up the warmth of being near his lover.

"How about you, king of the herbivores?" Hibari slanted a heavy lidded glance at him. "Are you surreptitiously wishing to bear my children or become my woman?"

Tsuna descended into sputters, his earlier control dissipating to pure nothingness as he flushed scarlet. "Th-that's… What? Wait, I-I…" He continued to mutter jumbled, inaudible words.

Hibari raised a brow at the sputtering adult on the verge of turning 30. He hadn't seen a reaction this innocent since their teen years…

He pressed on, cornering his lover against his desk and lifting him to sit on its sleek surface. "Are you? Do you have dreams of your belly swelling with my baby or having me inside of your vagina?"

Tsuna was shaking against him – not from shame or sobs or fear, but because Hibari was giving him that ravenously hungry look and speaking to him in that growl that usually accompanied the words 'I'll bite you to death' and yet Tsuna knew that he would enjoy the bites Hibari would rain down on his body.

In all honesty, the thought of bearing children or being a woman had never crossed his mind. He had been sad that Reborn was pressing him to find a surrogate mother so they could continue the Vongola bloodline, but he had never thought to become a woman himself; especially after the Lambo ordeal.

Watching Lambo suffer day after day during his pregnancy, and watching how everyone around him suffered, Tsuna knew that he would never be able to do it even if they did find out how Verde had managed to twist Lambo's body makeup to bear children they would never be able to utilize the information because Lambo had gone through the pregnancy without the proper body structure.

Yet… what if he could avoid getting the surrogate mother? He could… he could have the best of both worlds and have a child that was purely his and Hibari's alone…

If Gokudera was a woman now… didn't that mean he could technically bear children?

Tsuna put a hand wonderingly to his belly, pondering the possibility of it. He had male pride – even if a vast majority of people disagreed – and so hesitated at the thought. There were boundaries he wasn't sure he wanted to cross…

Well, Lambo had crossed that boundary, hadn't he? Despite his pregnancy, he actually came out of it stronger and with two children he adored with all his heart. He was also married to Reborn, so it had all worked out in the end. … But that was because Chrome had secretly helped and Tsuna doubted she would risk it a second time.

"Tsunayoshi." Hibari's authoritative tone dragged him out of his inner thoughts. "How badly do you want my child?"

With a start he realized that they were beyond teasing now – Hibari was being completely serious, staring at him with razor-sharp eyes that saw through him to his very soul.

"… I… would like to have your child." He knew he couldn't give Hibari a wimpy answer that went along the lines of 'I think' or 'maybe'. He had had to give it that last moment's thought before cementing his certainty. "But I don't think we can." He continued. "It would cause too many problems if I became a woman and I can't undertake a sperm-to-egg exchange like Lambo was forced to."

"I didn't ask why you wouldn't be able to have children; I asked if you wanted children." Hibari sniped. There was a considerate light in his grey-blue eyes.

He pressed his lips heatedly to the Don's, stealing the brunette's breath away. Abruptly, he let his lover go and exited the room without another word.

Tsuna stared after him, not quite sure what had just happened.

His cell phone went off. Answering it, it was Kusakabe on the other end.

"Hibari says he will be going on an extended trip." The man's patient voice resonated into Tsuna's ear. "The mission is covert."

Tsuna smiled. Hibari was odd in that he never told Tsuna goodbye; he would just walk away and then Kusakabe would eventually tell Tsuna why – just like now. "I understand; thank you, Kusakabe."

"It's no problem, Tsuna. Good night."

They hung up and Tsuna stared at the small device.

… Hadn't Hibari been staying for at least another week?

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

In Gokudera's teen years, he had despised children outright and with obvious relish. Now that he was 14 years older, such had changed only minimally to the point of his distaste over the mini-rascals being… subtle.

He now disguised his displeasure through beating tiny asses whenever said tiny asses stepped out of line and that was how he came to be the one to discipline Lambo's children more than even Reborn did.

Fulmine was his biggest problem; the girl was a daredevil compacted into a 2 foot, 3" body! When she had started causing trouble, he hadn't been the least surprised.

After all, she looked exactly like Lambo. The only difference was that she had thankfully skipped over that stage of life of having a monstrous afro and instead had a hairdo more like her 'mother' already had with the wavy sable black locks that framed her misleading angelic face. Her huge emerald green eyes were bordered by thick, black lashes that made her skin seem paler and her eyes brighter.

She was her mother reincarnated… except for the fact that she was fearless and rather enjoyed tormenting everyone around her not including her 'kick ass' dad. Fulmine… was a daddy's girl, no questions asked.

And at that moment, she was literally trying to conquer Gokudera. She even had a miniature flag with a crude drawing of a gun and a fedora on it that she kept trying to stab his head with.

"Down, brat." He kept trying to grab her and stop her nonsense, but she just kept slipping away at the last moment.

She was a quick little one.

"Down, beast!" She howled in between giggles. "Or should I say woman?"

"Why, you – !" He finally got his hands on her fragile little wrist and twisted her arm behind her back.

"Nyaah! You can't hurt me, I'm a girl!" She wiggled furiously but soon gave up when it only made her feel pain. "Ambrogio, help!"

The other twin had decidedly taken a corner of the room to himself where he was reading a book no four year old should even have interest in much less be able to understand it.

'The Study of Electricity' was a collection of data tables, examples, experiments, and facts that took up seven hundred pages, no problem. How someone managed to write that much just on electricity stupefied Gokudera – that was a hell of a wasted time.

Nonetheless, Ambrogio ignored his infuriated sister and flipped the page, already more than half-way done.

Unlike his sister, Ambrogio was a clone of his father, complete with the spiky onyx hair and bottomless black eyes. His skin was pale like ebony while Fulmine was more beige.

He was the one who had inherited Lambo's cowardice and yet he had the calculative, sharp mind that Reborn was known for. Four years old and he spoke three different languages already. The child was about two years away from having an IQ like that of an average college graduate.

He would rather lie face down on the ground and 'play dead' than fight, but Reborn was still smug about the fact that Ambrogio could blurt out facts that not even Tsuna or Gokudera knew. Alas, Reborn's pride wasn't the one Ambrogio hungered for – Ambrogio would rather have his mother hug him nice and tight instead of receive a congratulatory smirk from his dad.

"You coward! Your sister's being hurt here! If you don't help me, momma's going to be upset with you!" The magical words having been spoken, Ambrogio put the book down and hurried over.

In the end, Gokudera had then both pinned to the floor. Ambrogio may be book smart, but he wasn't street smart.

Beneath Gokudera's hand, he was playing dead, eyes dull as they stared up to the ceiling and his breathing and heartbeat indiscernible. He didn't even so much as twitch.

"You're useless." Fulmine groaned, poking her brother's cheek.

Ambrogio and Fulmine were the fraternal twins of Lambo and Reborn, conceived from a mad experiment that led to the death of Verde, the former arcobaleno.

Gokudera lifted them both off their feet and glared balefully at them. "Your mom is going to be here in another 10 minutes; if neither of you can sit still till then, I will beat your asses red."

"You swore!" Fulmine widened her eyes at him. "Ooooh! That's bad!"

"You want to know what's bad? Strangling little children until their heads pop off – but I'm thinking about doing it anyway."

Fulmine stuck her tongue out at him. "I dare ya to try!"

When Lambo walked in, Ambrogio was still playing dead, lying limply on the ground. Meanwhile, Fulmine had recaptured her flag and was trying to mount it in Gokudera's forehead, laughing raucously as she did so. Gokudera had somehow gotten a chain and was winding it up the child's body, beginning at her ankles and circling up. She was already bound from feet to waist, but she continued to look smug and proud as if she was the one winning the one-on-one fight.

"… Goodness…" Lambo ran a hand through his luscious hair. "You may be a woman now, but you definitely don't have even one maternal bone in your body."

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Ryohei had this uncanny feeling that said he was staring at someone he knew… the problem was that the someone he knew and the person in front of him were of two different sexes.

He scratched his chin as he tried to decipher the growing apprehension he felt.

To one side situated behind his desk was Tsuna, watching him as if he thought he was about to die a painful death and there was nothing he could do about it.

After another moment of pondering this strange person who now seemed to be getting extremely angry, Ryohei pointed at the woman in front of him. "TSUNA!... Who's the extreme chic who looks like octopus head?"

Said chic attacked him with a vengeance he hadn't known women capable of! Not one to put down a fight regardless, they ended up taking out a wall before he was thrown out the window (which was three stories up, mind you) with the silverette following him out, a battle cry originating from her lips.

Tsuna remained behind his desk, flipping through his sent messages in his cell phone.

"… What did he think I meant when I told him Gokudera had a sex change?" He heard something explode from outside followed by Ryohei's howled 'EXTREME!'. "… I think I'll call Yamamoto to break it up."

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"A-Ah! Y-Yamamoto… here… touch here!" Gokudera had one hand between his legs, teasing his clitoris. Yamamoto was thrusting forcefully, the bed creaking with every forward push. "Here!" He demanded, head falling back onto the bed as he arched his back, forcing one nipple deeper into his lover's mouth.

Yamamoto chuckled around his pink captive and obeyed, putting his hand over Gokudera's and rubbing the small little pleasure-point with gleaming relish in his amber eyes.

It was all Gokudera needed. "Y-Yama- AH!" His juices flowed, inner muscles rippling as his sheath clamped down on the swordsman's length.

Yamamoto groaned against his breast, speeding up and frankly abusing what could have been Gokudera's womb with the gland of his cock. "Goku… dera… – !" Yamamoto pushed into him one last time, took one last sharp intake of breath, and came.

Eventually, he wilted, shifting his body weight somewhat so he wasn't crushing his lover but still resting mostly over him. "Hah hah…" He kissed the corner of Gokudera's lips. "I don't mind if you're a guy or a girl – but this is fun; I like knowing I can put myself into three different orifices!"

There was a moment of silence. His teasing smile slipped away and he straightened up so he could see the silverette's expression. "Gokudera? Aren't you going to hit me for – … saying… that…? Gokudera, are you alright?" Yamamoto furrowed his brows at the storm guardian.

The silverette was staring up at him with wide, shocked eyes and a gaping mouth. His cheeks were pale. "Did you feel that just now?"

Yamamoto raised a brow. "Umm… I felt a lot of things just now…"

"Right…"

The swordsman exited Gokudera, hiding the wince of pleasure he felt at the wet friction if only because Gokudera looked as if he hadn't even noticed he was still inside of him.

"Gokudera, are you alright?" He brushed a hand through Gokudera's hair, twirling each strand around his finger.

"… Yeah… I'm okay. I thought I just felt something weird."

"Like what?"

"Go to bed, baseball freak – we have work tomorrow." Gokudera turned his back to Yamamoto.

Instead of listening, Yamamoto got a damp rag from their private bathroom and cleaned them off with it, taking his sweet time with the area between Gokudera's legs until the silverette was trembling.

He kissed Gokudera's belly button. "Don't forget that I'm here if you're ever afraid, Gokudera. I love you."

"… I know."

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Fulmine was staring at him.

He was glaring back at her.

She kept staring.

He kept glaring.

"Were you just throwing up?" She bluntly asked out of the blue, balanced on the cushion next to him on the couch.

Ambrogio had claimed the only chaise in the room, curled into the part with the armrest and back with a book in hand.

Gokudera tensed at the girl's digging. "That is none of your business." He spat, looking away.

"It sounded like you were throwing up."

"You're just a kid, what do you know?"

"Ambrogio!" Fulmine instantly turned to her slightly older brother. "Didn't it sound like he was throwing up?"

"There was a lot of gagging, a lot of heaving, and the sound of something flowing rapidly into the toilet." The boy flipped another page. "It sounded like vomit to me unless you were suffocating yourself with diarrhea."

"See! ... Hey, Ambrogio, what's diarrhea?" The girl cocked her head curiously.

"A lot of crap."

"… So what does that mean?"

Gokudera got to his feet and paced the length of the lounging room.

It wasn't that he had been caught with babysitting again – actually, it was Ryohei's turn – but that he had a suspicion that… well… He was going to have to get used to kids really soon.

He hadn't let Yamamoto touch him since that last time three weeks ago where he felt as if a switch went off – not really anything dramatic, but just like a subtle twitch. That had been during sex.

Damn it, and then he had started throwing up. Either he was dying or he was… he was…

His eyes sidled to the children now bickering with each other – Fulmine was certain Ambrogio was secretly calling her an idiot and she was right, but the boy wasn't going to admit to it anytime soon.

Yeah, that.

What had he been thinking? He knew that the female parts were internal as well as external! Yet had he ever demanded Yamamoto wear a condom? No. Though they had tried once but it had felt so damn awkward and different that he threw the rest of the condoms away. He had thought about birth control pills but he'd be damned before he took any capsule that wasn't a vitamin.

"Hey, Stupid!" Fulmine called out. "Tell Ambrogio that I'm not a capricious psychopath!"

"You don't even know what it means." Ambrogio muttered, trying to hide behind his book and pretend his sister wasn't beating his leg with her tiny and yet strangely powerful fists.

"Yeah, I do!"

"Alright, than tell me!"

"… You tell me so I know that you've got it right!"

"Both of you, shut up." He growled.

Ambrogio cowered from him, all but stuffing himself beneath the cushion of the chaise.

Fulmine rose to the challenge, puffing out her tiny chest with bravado. "Or what?"

When Ryohei walked in, Fulmine had a wad of dynamite strapped with duct tape between her hands, the rest of her immovable due to layers and layers of improvised plastic wrap. There was no fear in her eyes but instead extreme displeasure.

Ambrogio had taken the chance to 'play dead', his one arm hanging limply off the chaise with his book on his belly. He stared glassily at the ceiling, the perfect corpse.

Gokudera was trying to get his suddenly uncooperative lighter to work, the small flamer held dangerously close to the dynamite in Fulmine's hands.

"OCTOPUS HEAD! SHE'S EXTREMELY NOT A FIREWORKS DISPLAY!"

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Tsuna was uncomfortable… extremely uncomfortable.

The last time he had seen Yamamoto so depressed was when he had tried to commit suicide back in middle school.

Said Japanese man occupied the leather couch to one side of his office, elbows on knees and face in hands.

He wanted to ask what was wrong yet he felt there was no room for words – Yamamoto had just come in without knocking, plopped down in that very spot, and hadn't moved since. Checking the clock on the wall and then his watch, he found that that had been a half hour ago.

He had been rereading the same paragraph in an important document he had to have done in another hour for the past 30 minutes. The worst part about it was that he was still on the first page and there were twenty-five more to go.

He determined if the document was really that important, flipping back to the title page and then looking at the names of the people who had drafted it; maybe he could get away with putting it off… He wasn't going to get anything done, that was certain.

"I think Gokudera wants to break up with me."

Tsuna found that he couldn't even read the title, despite the fact that his mind seemed to be able to register that it was an easily understandable three-syllable word. His thoughts had sputtered to a halt, his mind drawing up a numb 'huh?'

Yamamoto went on. "I know I said something inconsiderate right before he started acting strange, but I don't think that's why he's distancing himself from me… I'm confused, Tsuna – I thought we had this undefeatable relationship, but he won't even let me touch him anymore. He sees me and runs in the other direction… What do I do, Tsuna? How do I get him to talk to me if I can't even get him to look at me?"

Tsuna shuffled the papers on his desk uselessly about, trying to find something to busy himself with so he could think up an answer. Every strategy and scheme he thought up proved to be disastrous when he tried them mentally against the stubborn silverette. Really, the only way he could think of to get Gokudera to talk with Yamamoto was to speak with him himself. Yet that didn't sound right.

He sidled his gaze over to the swordsman. Yamamoto still had his face in his hands, the heart wrenching image of desolation.

"… I think… you should do as you've always done." Yamamoto lifted his head to gaze curiously at Tsuna. "Just try harder." He offered a small smile.

Yamamoto stared at him for another moment. Minutes went by in heavy, considerate silence. Yamamoto's lips slowly curved into a lopsided grin. "Gotcha! Thanks, Tsuna! I know exactly what I'm going to do!"

"Oh, really? That's good."

"Yep! I'm going to ask him to marry me!"

It was a head-to-desk moment for the Don as he pondered how the rain guardian could have had such an epiphany. Before he could outright question such, however, Yamamoto had already left.

"… I think I need to make a note to put more money in the repairs budget…"

This could only mean imminent death for the swordsman at the hands of the male woman.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Lambo stared listlessly out the window, one hand lazily drawing through his son's hair. Ambrogio was sleeping, situated in his momma's lap with his head against Lambo's chest. His eyes were shut and he was breathing deeply, one loosely curled fist held to his lips with his knees up to his collarbone.

He was cuter than Reborn when he slept, Lambo offhandedly noted. Reborn had that freaky habit of sleeping with his eyes open, the only way to tell that he was sleeping at all being that his breathing deepened and he started bobbing his head (determining whether or not he's laying down or standing up when he falls asleep).

His daughter was against his opposite side, a blanket wrapped snugly around her as she murmured nonsense drowsily in her unconscious state. Her full weight was leaning against Lambo, despite the fact that they sat on a leather divan – meaning basically that Fulmine should have been able to lie back against the sofa instead of him.

Nonetheless, he soaked up her unaware attention, even though he wasn't looking at her. Oh, his babies were darling…

He watched as foreboding clouds slinked across the hidden sky outside the window, the trees bowing to and fro and the wind whistling against their branches. He could hear the storm brewing and it was going to be hellish, no doubt about it.

A shadow fell over him, startling him. Looking up, his husband was staring down at him.

In their four years of being lovers (parents, husbands, foes, etc…), Lambo still trembled as he caught sight of the glowing, terrifying hunger in Reborn's obsidian glare.

Then again, who could blame the man for being horny? Reborn was one of those rare men whose libido had only gotten stronger over the years instead of having diminished and still managed to look hot as hell. Not only did he have a frighteningly high libido, wasn't he just now returning from a three month covert mission?

Lambo shakily licked his lips as Reborn continued to stare demandingly down at him.

"Goodness, you're scary when you have that face…" He murmured, trying to relieve the tension.

Reborn leaned forward, putting one hand on the armrest and the other on the low back of the divan. "I'll put the children in their room; go to bed and assume the position. If you're not spread open for me by the time I get to you, I will rip you in two."

Lambo was flushed by now yet managed to nod nonetheless. With quivering fingers, he handed Ambrogio and then Fulmine to Reborn, letting the hitman adjust the snoozing twins so they wouldn't' wake up.

The moment he was free, he was running. To give himself some extra time – maybe a second or two if he was lucky – he locked the door behind him as he entered his bedroom.

He had gotten stronger in the past four years, no doubt; after all, he had two children he needed to protect now. By no means was he the coward he had been not so long ago. Even Gokudera held some respect for the progress he had made.

However… Reborn was another matter. A horny Reborn was something not even Lambo on his most daring days wanted to pit against.

He stripped as quickly as he could before flopping onto the bed.

He grappled for the lube, found it after three failed attempts, and then managed to waste half the bottle by squeezing it too tightly, sending the liquid spurting against the bed covers instead of his hand.

He administered his aim right the second time. The first finger went into his orifice with a slight burning, the second with a wince, and the third with strained discomfort. He twisted and pumped them as speedily as he could, attempting to relax his body for what was going to happen next.

The doorknob turned and, upon finding it locked, was then sent sailing off of the wooden barrier, leaving the bedroom door useless as it submissively slid open.

Reborn was on the other side of the destroyed door, burning eyes on Lambo. "You're still not done?" His hands were on his belt, undoing the buckle and moving on to his pants.

"Y-you didn't give me… much… time…" He flipped over onto his knees, head pressing into the bed as he stroked his prostate. "A- Aaah-nn…"

Reborn stalked up behind him, grabbing the wrist of his thrusting hand and pulling it away. Lambo spread his legs a little wider, pumping his own length to prepare himself.

With one smooth, burning thrust, Reborn was buried inside of him.

"AA-" He bit his bottom lip, trying to stop the cries just in case he woke the children up.

Reborn had to break the door.

His hands clenched in the sheets and he quavered beneath his lover's touch as Reborn petted a hand from his collarbone to his hip in slow, ticklish caresses that were more arousing than humorous.

Right off the get-go, Reborn was pounding him into the bed, the pain morphing into – goodness – so much pleasure, he had no will to do anything but push back and pray for the end because if it got any better, he just might die.

"Ah hah… ah… nah… nn… R-Reborn… R-… Reborn…" He met obsidian eyes over his shoulder, so intense and lusty that Lambo felt his muscles spasm around his lover's cock. Reborn smirked and Lambo groaned.

He bit his knuckles to keep himself as quiet as he could, unable to stop the smaller gasps and whimpers.

Just when he thought he was going to cum – just when he thought he was going to break into thousands of tiny little pieces, Reborn stopped.

"Nnnnah! R-Reborn?" Lambo wailed, teetering on the edge between what felt like heaven and hell, euphoria and agony.

He didn't have the thought process to ponder when he ended up beneath the blankets or when Reborn had puts pants on and sat at the edge of the bed.

But he very quickly learned why.

Ambrogio popped in first, leaping into the bed and ignoring Reborn as he made a lunge for Lambo, darting beneath the blankets and pressing himself against his side. Lambo flushed brick red, wondering to himself if there was enough light in the room to illuminate beneath the blankets and make his hard-on visible to his four year old son. He also wondered if his son was going to notice the smell of musky sex and silently begged whatever great force was out there that his son wasn't that smart.

The reason for why Ambrogio had hidden next to him came barreling through the doorway not two seconds after, a deranged smile on her lips as she held a –

"Fulmine!" Lambo gawked. "Where did you get that?" His four year old daughter was holding an anaconda twice the length of her own body and coiling itself around her unsuspecting frame.

"Can we keep him?" Fulmine cooed.

Lambo was happy to note that his member was now lax.

Reborn was staring without emotion at his daughter, calculating how much money and blackmail it would take to get just one fucking hour with his 'wife' and assuage his needs. Glancing at the snake that Fulmine had yet to realize was a threat to her well-being, Reborn supposed that he would be best with cutting his genitals off and calling it a night.

"Reborn!" Lambo cried from behind him. "Do something!" Because, of course, he wasn't running after his four year old daughter who knew no shame when letting loose her silver-tongue with no clothes on.

The hitman stared at his lover, taking in the flushed cheeks, the clear emerald gaze, the nicely bruised lips and the sexily wild ebony black hair…

He pointed at Lambo, causing the young man to blanch under the glowering attention. "You. Me. Any convenient surface. It's going to happen."

Fulmine sniffed delicately at the air, completely ignorant of her mother's dying shriek. "It smells funky in here."

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Baseball freak! Put me down." Gokudera growled lowly at the swordsman.

Yamamoto, at the moment, had the silverette thrown over his shoulder, sauntering blithely back to the bedroom they hadn't shared in far too long. "Hmmm… Nope!"

"I wasn't asking."

"Heh heh~ the answer's still no." The tension that had been building between Yamamoto's shoulders was dissipating the more they bickered. This was good – this was the usual thing.

He had never thought he could be so happy over having Gokudera try to knee him in the chest.

"Yamamoto!" Gokudera snapped, unsuccessfully trying to attack the rain guardian from his helpless position. "I am not a sack of potatoes, put me down this instant!"

Yamamoto pushed open their bedroom door with his foot and then slammed it shut behind them in the same manner. He locked it and then did as told, putting the silverette on his feet.

Gokudera glared up at him. "Move away from the door, I'm leaving."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Gokudera, but I have to do what I brought you here to do."

The smaller man narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I don't have time for you right now, okay?"

Yamamoto's amber gaze registered hurt and then blankness. In a rare show of intimidation, he stopped just being taller than Gokudera – he towered over the silverette like a foreboding shadow, his expression one he wore just before he killed someone.

Gokudera was never prepared for that face being directed at him – though this wasn't the first time. He stumbled backwards without even understanding himself; he wasn't afraid, he knew Yamamoto would never actually hurt him. The face didn't make him horny, so he wasn't subconsciously moving closer to the bed. The face just… made him… feel empty. The baseball-loving idiot should never look like he could kill with just his eyes. It wasn't natural.

Yamamoto took a step forward for every step he took back. Unexpectedly, he dropped to one knee. Gokudera stared down at him, stupefied. Was this it? Had his lover lost it? Had he… driven Yamamoto over the edge?

He grimaced at the thought, looking down and away. Damn Shamal! If it wasn't for him, none of this would have ever happened!

Now he was pregnant, angry at everyone, and Yamamoto was about to start cry –

"Gokudera." Yamamoto was staring earnestly, seriously, up at him. "Please marry me."

ing… ?

Gokudera stared at him. "… Who told you?" He yelped; he tried to remember if he himself had told anyone. He had gotten a pregnancy test, but he didn't remember being followed. Than again, maybe it had been someone else from the mafia like Tsuna or Reborn or any other person who was smart enough to hide from him.

Yamamoto frowned. "Who told me what?"

Tears were threatening to fall from Gokudera's eyes. "Who told you about it?" He snarled. His arms were wrapped around his belly.

"It? Gokudera, you're being silly; what is it?" Realization dawned. "Is it why you've been ignoring me? Gokudera, whatever it is, I'm here. Don't do that thing where you turn away from help because you're so goddamned independent."

In the pause that followed, Yamamoto looked from Gokudera's eyes to his left hand. "I got you a ring but then I was dragged by this old woman into a pet store I guess she owned and she forced me to buy this anaconda that had been taking up space there for the past 13 years and then the anaconda ate the engagement ring. I thought I'd slit it open and get the ring back, but when I got it home, it disappeared somehow… So I guess I'm doing this wrong without the band, but I'd still like you to marry me, Gokudera…" He looked back to stormy green eyes, darkened by overwhelming emotions. "I love you, Gokudera, and I'd really like – no, I'd love it if you would make me the happiest guy in the world and be mine."

His knees suddenly buckling, he plopped down on the edge of the bed and numbly considered the rain guardian's proposal… Well, not really considered – he knew what he wanted and he knew what he was going to say. The thing was though was that the two opposed each other so greatly, so painfully, that he didn't even want to speak.

He wanted to say yes, but he knew he would say no. What would he do if he was married? He was Gokudera Hayato, the volatile storm guardian! Much like the clouds, he couldn't be tied down to one place! To one person, even if he had been faithful to the idiot since middle school! Wait… that long?

… Yes, that long. He had hardly even been aware of time passing. He had been… so caught up in fighting with his lover, in actually enjoying the time he spent with the baseball player, he had never thought about long they had been together.

He put aside all the insecurities he felt about marriage (as well as the rage considering that they would most likely force him to wear a dress if he did agree because he had the girl parts) to consider this one… small possibility.

He… secretly, covertly, subtly, somewhat, maybe just a little bit, only just a pinch, loved the bastard kneeling in front of him. Said bastard loved him with all his heart and never failed to show his adoration for him. On top of that, he was pregnant with their child. So… they were already a family, right?

An image of his mother came to mind; for most of his young life, he had been led to believe that she had only been allowed to see him twice a year and then she mysteriously got in a car accident. Later, his sister had admitted to him that such was not the truth – that she had died by way of a terrible disease and had turned down his father's pleas for marriage because she knew she was going to die.

What if that happened to him? What if he died and all the idiot and his child were left with were painful memories? He couldn't get married; if he did, he would never be able to cut all ties with the rain guardian and his child! He would rather die alone than watch his family stare at him with pain in their eyes…

"Gokudera…" Yamamoto was smiling nervously. "You still there?"

"No!"

"Heh heh… Than where are you?"

"No, that's not what I meant…" Gokudera got to his feet, shoving the taller man out of his way. "Hell will freeze over before I marry you!"

He ran away. And he didn't look back.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Gokudera had hidden himself in one of the lounging rooms, head in hands as he forced himself not to cry. He wasn't weak. He wasn't weak. He wasn't weak. He was independent and he needed no one but himself and his Tenth! He didn't need the baseball idiot and he didn't need the damn baby!

Once the infant was born, he'd give it to Yamamoto and be done with it! … Wait… how could he give the baby to Yamamoto if he wasn't even willing to tell him that he was pregnant? For that matter, how was he going to be able to get up every day just to see his former lover and child together?

He raked his hands through his hair. Damn it. Should he give the child back to his original family? Put it up for adoption? Get an abortion?

The last thought made his stomach drop and his hands clammy. Yeah, he hated kids, but could he hate his own flesh and blood that much?

He imaged what Yamamoto's expression would be if he ever found out that Gokudera had aborted their child. He shuddered at the very thought of those amber eyes full of disgust, betrayal, and cold hatred.

"I can't believe you would do that!" His inner Yamamoto accused in a growl. "Was the thought of having my child that unbearable for you?"

He shook away the mental dialogue. No… the thought of having the idiot's child wasn't so unbearable. The only thing that really made him upset was that he shouldn't be able to bear kids! But, no, Shamal had to go and be a fucking idiot.

Now he was a woman (though he denied it as much as he could and he kicked anyone's ass who trying to call him by 'she', 'her', 'girl', 'chic', 'woman', 'lady', and so on so forth) with a baby bump threatening to develop and ruin his once perfect figure as well as the last piece of pride he had held as a dick-wielding man.

Other than that, no, he was actually… kind of content with the little kid in his belly. It was uncomfortable to know that he was going to be a fucking mom (now Lambo was going to get his revenge, no doubt, for all those times he insulted him for giving birth to twins) yet he felt just about the same discomfort every time he went to the restroom and momentarily forgot that there was nothing down there to grab when he had to take a piss.

He curled his knees to his chest. He was a smart guy, right? He'd get through this. He knew what to do… he just hadn't thought of it yet.

Ah, damn… he really wanted his idiot with him now so he could – … could what?

"Hell will freeze over before I marry you!" He flinched at remembering his own words. He hadn't meant it to sound like that. The more he thought about his answer to Yamamoto's proposal, the more dread he felt with realizing that… his words… kind of sounded like he didn't want to marry the idiot because of the idiot.

But he did want to marry that loser! He was too prideful to admit it, though. He didn't want his independence taken away, to be seen as a submissive 'wife'. He liked knowing that he was technically free!

… He liked the thought of sleeping with Yamamoto at night better. He liked the thought of Yamamoto wearing a ring on his left hand that showed all of his fangirls (and fanboys) that he was taken. He liked the thought of…

He liked the thought of marrying Yamamoto, even if he hated the thought of marrying at all. Because Yamamoto wouldn't change after they married, would he? He had always respected who Gokudera was and actually took the steps to preserve his fiery spirit ("Why did you do it? I was supposed to make that shot!" Gokudera had once growled at the rain guardian now turned mercenary; there had been a newly dropped body a mile off in the center of a panicking crowd of civilians.

Yamamoto had looked at him with something beating, breathing, and hurting in his amber gaze and he had said in turn: "I knew you didn't want to, Gokudera").

He couldn't change his decision now, though. He had spoken and he wasn't going to swallow his words now when it was far too late. Even if he was to the point of making himself believe that he could possibly be happy married to the idiot, there was the still the chance that he might die on him and the little brat growing inside of him!

What to do, what to do… He just had to get his thoughts in order and think… He could figure this out…

The doors opened. "Ah, Gokudera." Lambo stood in the open entrance, an anaconda coiling around his upper body. "Do you know where this came from?"

Gokudera jerked at the intrusion and then paused. Hadn't Yamamoto said that a snake had swallowed his engagement ring?

"Hey, cow…" The young man cocked his head curiously at him. "How did you get Reborn to marry you?"

The expression Lambo wore was equivalent to someone who had just been sucker punched. "Goodness, why do you assume that I got Reborn to marry me? It went the other way around, stupid."

"… What?"

"Goodness…" Lambo plopped down next to him on the chaise as if he had been invited. The anaconda slinked off his frame and lazily made its way along the back of the couch. "I remember it perfectly – it was the day before we were going to get our babies out of the incubator and he was ordering me to go to Spain with him. You know, because gay marriage wasn't legal in Italy back then. I didn't want to because of what had happened in my own family – "

"What happened in your family?" Gokudera gawked. In his 24 years of knowing the brat, he had never heard of any family troubles. The Bovino family was a pretty unnoticeable mafia family; nothing much ever circulated about them unless Lambo went to visit them.

Lambo ran a finger along the snake's back, looking away. "My parents were in an unstable marriage. My mother was promiscuous and she held no shame in her infidelity. My father sometimes liked to wonder aloud if I was even his child when he thought I wasn't listening. There were nights where I could hear them screaming at each other from my room and then I would wake up and they wouldn't even acknowledge each other. In public, it was an entirely different story – they were so lovey dovey with each other that even grandpa and grandma thought they were obsessed with each other." Lambo's grandpa was the Bovino boss, an ailing man but still formidable in some issues. "Only I ever knew that their relationship was built on hate… the only thing that ever held them together was me and I… I kind of hated myself when I was a kid because of that."

Gokudera was startled. "You hated yourself? Tsch! No kid that hates themselves makes a theme song over their own greatness!"

"I did. I thought that if I stood out, I could get my parents to actually see me instead of use me as a shield. And if I could get them to notice me, I could get them to love each other again… I was trying to find something really great to do so I could get them to stop hurting each other and, low and behold, I met Reborn. I didn't even know he was at first – when I met him, I was in a bar for the first time and he was sitting at the counter. I started talking to him and he nodded to everything I said. I thought we were going to be really good friends – it wouldn't be till years later I realized that he had actually fallen asleep when I had started talking to him." Lambo chuckled at the memory.

"… So… If you didn't know who he was, why did you start stalking him?"

"Stalking is such a crude term, don't you think? Goodness… No, I went home that night and, apparently, grandpa had told my parents that I had spoken with the great and formidable hitman, Reborn. They were so worried about me that they forgot to hate each other long enough to give me candy and gifts and take me to my favorite restaurant. They felt certain that Reborn was going to come back and kill me for being so forward with him… And then some time later, grandpa told me why my parents had acted so strangely and… bam!" Lambo made a gesture with his hands like an explosion. "I was following Reborn across the world, squeezing myself into the cargo every time we took any form of travel too fast for me to keep up with by running."

He smiled softly, sadly. "My mom died three years ago, you remember that, right? Remember how my family was so sketchy on how she died? She had caught an STD from one of her many lovers. Irony at its worst, I guess you could say."

He shut his eyes, fingers gliding along the anaconda's spine as the snake circled back to stare at Lambo with its blind eyes, tongue flickering in interest. "They had made a mess of my belief in marriage. I honestly thought that I would never feel any joy in having a wedding ring on my finger. But Reborn knew just what to say in that ignorant, confident way of his that made me give in without much a fight. And after he kind of forced my eyes open, it just occurred to me that I shouldn't base what my married life was going to be like off of my parents. Look at mama and Iemetsu – they got married twice, the first time out of love and the second time just to do it right even though Mama never had a problem with it the first time around. That kind of marriage… even if Reborn gets on my nerve all the time and drives me wild, I'd like to have that kind of life with him… if only with a 'I kill you – you kill me' twist."

Lambo tilted his head and blinked. "… What were we talking about before I went off on a tangent?"

Gokudera was staring at the teen. His mouth opened and shut and then he turned his gaze away. "Hey, cow – how attached are you to that snake?"

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Yamamoto had been debating what to do next with himself.

Well… He could keep trying. It occurred to him to keep badgering Gokudera to marry him until he gave in; after all, that was basically how their relationship had even started. Yeah, he really should keep asking him until he said yes! Next time, though, he really should have the ring on him. Maybe Gokudera had said no because he hadn't believed that a snake had actually swallowed the engagement ring?

And he didn't even have the snake to prove it. Damn.

Ah, but he needed to take some time away… he needed to rebuild his self-confidence until he could stand in front of Gokudera and not let him walk away again.

The only thing he could see was Gokudera's teary gaze filled with hatred and horror right before he ran away. "Hell will freeze over before I marry you!" Was he really that bad a choice for a spouse? Sure, Gokudera had said a lot of things like that in the past, but those things had been for the good of self-preservation.

Yet that expression did remind him of one other time… Yes, the first time he had asked Gokudera to be his boyfriend, Gokudera had looked shocked and appalled and just a little frightened. A lot like he had a few minutes ago… no, wait, hours ago.

Had he been sitting there alone that long?

He rubbed a hand across his face. The digital alarm clock next to the bed told him he needed to stop wallowing in this uncommon moment of low self-esteem.

Gokudera loved him, even if he never did say it. Therefore, it wasn't that he was singling Yamamoto out personally as someone he would refuse to marry. He was a very independent person with very few needs. If he had food and his Tenth, he could live the rest of his life in bliss.

… Well, that didn't make him feel any better. As much as he loved the little man, Yamamoto was sometimes pretty jealous of Tsuna for always being the first person on Gokudera's mind.

He ruffled a hand through his hair. He'd kill whoever the silverette wanted for that kind of adoration. He didn't care if Tsuna always came out top – after all, he was their boss and the very reason they had met to begin with – but he would like to at least hold a candle to the Don in Gokudera's heart.

He shook his head. What was he going to do next? Maybe he should talk to Tsuna and get a long-term mission, just till things cooled down… It seemed like the right idea.

He was so entrenched in his thoughts, he didn't hear the whisper of feet across the ceramic floor.

He did, however, feel it when something small and metallic struck his chest, causing him to flinch out of slow reflexes and catch the object as it fell. He stared stupidly at the gold and silver braided ring in his palm.

Wasn't this… the engagement ring?

"You can do it right now." Wasn't that Gokudera?

His head shot up. The pale beauty stood before him in all his transgendered glory. There was a slight flush to his cheeks and his eyes were a clear spring green now, unlike the dark olive or pale grey they became when the silverette was particularly upset.

His mind caught up with his ears and his heart sputtered. Was Gokudera saying…?

"What are you waiting for?" His lover snapped. "Do it before I change my mind."

Yamamoto numbly got down on one knee, not quite sure if he was awake or sleeping. "Gokudera…" He breathed. "Will you marry me?"

"Fine! But I'm not wearing a damn dress, got that?" He stated with a petulant air.

This was clearly something he had been going over extensively.

The swordsman got to his feet, not quite aware of his own actions as he cupped Gokudera's jaw in one hand and wrapped the other arm around his waist, dragging him as close as clothes would allow before he stole his lover's lips in a kiss full of his every emotion: love, relief, joy, giddiness, bliss, the uncertainty he had felt, the fear, and just a little bit of anger.

"Hey, horny uncles!"

Yamamoto broke away from Gokudera, drawing a mental 'who?'

Both men looking to the door, Fulmine stood there with her arms crossed childishly across her puny chest, her emerald green eyes upset. "Has anyone seen a really big snake around here?"

Oh, shit, the ring… He had told Gokudera about the snake swallowing it, so didn't that mean that –

"The cow has it!" Gokudera ground out at the girl. "Be grateful to him, brat, I wanted to slit the fucker open!"

Fulmine gasped. "Cursing is bad!"

"And so is drowning little children in the bathtub, so you better get moving out of here."

"Try it!"

Yamamoto wrapped both arms securely around Gokudera as the silverette struggled to fulfill his threat. "Ah, Fulmine? Could you go see Tsuna, please? It's something only you can do and I need you to do it quick!"

Instantly, he had the child's full attention. "What is it? What is it?"

"Could you tell him… that Gokudera said yes?"

Said man sputtered. "It's not too late to take it back, you idiot."

"I'll tell him!" The little girl disappeared from sight.

Yamamoto chuckled. "She's such a little cutesy… Hm? Gokudera, are you alright?"

The silverette's face was downcast, the fall of pale wavy hair obscuring his features. "… You really like kids, don't you?"

"Hah hah! Yeah, I guess so…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Why do you ask?"

"… No reason."

Yamamoto kept an airhead grin on his face. "Hey, Gokudera… If you didn't slit the snake open, how'd you get the ring back?"

"We forced it to regurgitate."

He winced in sympathy for the hapless creature.

"Well? Are you going to stand there like the idiot you are holding it or are you going to put it on me?"

His amber eyes sparkled. "I love you so much…" Who else in the world would wear a ring a snake had just thrown up? "Okay, okay…"

As it turned out, the ring was… sappily enough, the perfect fit.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"VOOIIII!" Squalo was glaring at them through the video screen. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?"

Yamamoto laughed. "There isn't much else to say!"

Gokudera was sitting next to him, glowering at the Varia rain guardian.

Tsuna was rubbing his ears, wandering just how much money it would cost to repair his hearing.

Across from Yamamoto was Ryohei who sat next to Kusakabe. Next to Kusakabe was Mukuro and Chrome and next to Gokudera was Lambo and Reborn.

The meeting that had led to Yamamoto's and Gokudera's coming-out-about-getting-married party had begun.

"THAT IS EXTREME!" Ryohei punched a fist into the air.

"Kufufufu~ this eliminates two dogs in one blow…" Mukuro thoughtfully stroked his chin, what he was thinking a mystery to the other occupants of the room.

Chrome looked curious but remained silent.

Kusakabe looked bored as he texted Hibari. His message went along the lines of: 'Hell froze over.' The cryptic message had to do with a conversation he had held with Hibari some years ago where the skylark had defiantly uttered that Gokudera was too prideful to marry the swordsman and so 'hell would freeze over' before the two got married.

Hibari would understand the text, no doubt.

Lambo was honestly bored and gave the newly-to-be-wedded couple a lazy round of applause. In all honesty, he was more concerned of how Kyoko and Haru were fairing with his children.

After all, it had only been a matter of time till the two tied the knot. Male of female on Gokudera's part, he had seen this coming from 9 years ago.

Reborn had his fedora tipped over his gaze, a smirk on his lips. He remained forebodingly silent.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" Squalo went on to accuse. "THAT BITCH IS GOING TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR TRAINING, VOOIIII!"

"Who the hell are you calling a bitch?" Gokudera snapped to his own defense.

"You're a woman now!" Squalo growled. "Therefore, you're a BITCH!"

Had it been physically possible to strangle a man through a TV screen, Gokudera would have done it.

"So…" Tsuna smiled pleasantly at Yamamoto, both men ignoring the fact that Gokudera was, instead of trying to murder Squalo, tearing down the communication system. "When are you two setting the wedding?"

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Gokudera was staring in the mirror, turned sideways as he studied his frame.

There was definitely a baby bump staring back at him through the glass, its slope intimidating. Never before had he been so content to be abstinent.

It had been Yamamoto's idea to not have any more sex till the wedding; as much as Gokudera had been pissed with that to begin with, he was now enforcing the condition using everything he had in him.

Kisses were okay – as long as Yamamoto didn't press too close or wrap his arms around him. Other than that, he didn't allow any intimacy. There were times in the middle of the night he would wake up because his lover had shifted in the bed and was wrapping his arms around him, unconsciously seeking to cuddle.

Usually, Gokudera would have just played at being annoyed. Nowadays when that happened, he beat the living shit out of Yamamoto and forced him off the mattress to suffer the night away on a sofa somewhere else.

Gokudera sighed and ran a hand through his lengthening silver hair. He didn't know why he was being so secretive. At some point, someone was going to notice. Hell, Reborn was giving him that look that simply states 'I know everything about you including what you don't want anyone to know'. Even Lambo of all people was giving his belly a prolonged stare.

Ryohei had screamed in his ear some days ago asking if he was gaining weight. There was a hawkish glint in Tsuna's caramel eyes whenever they settled on his midsection.

How much longer before Yamamoto knew?

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"When are you going to tell him that you know?"

Yamamoto was waking up to another morning in a sofa. There was a creak in his neck and his shoulders felt stiff. Air conditioning had been running all night and so now his feet were cold and so was his nose. Gokudera had luckily let him drag a blanket out with him, but it was just a thin one meant more for warm Italy nights than cold lounge rooms meant to greet newcomers as they came in from the hot outside.

He peeked open one amber eye to look at Reborn who had claimed a chaise across the coffee table from him.

He sighed and sat up, letting the blanket coil around his waist as his feet touched numbingly frigid ceramic tiles. "He'll tell me when he's ready…"

"He's more likely to run away and hide himself before that time comes." The hitman nonchalantly shoved the truth into the swordsman's face.

Yamamoto rotated his head on his shoulders, hearing every crack that ensued. "Gokudera is stronger than that. When he feels it's the right time, he'll tell me!"

"If he ever feels the right time is near… don't you think he'll tell Tsuna first?"

There was a pregnant silence.

"… Yeah… But I've come to accept that Gokudera trusts Tsuna… a lot more than me. Besides! It's me he's marrying, not Tsuna; so that goes to show that he loves me!"

"I never asked you if he loved you or not." Reborn pointed out.

"Eh? But you just said – "

"I asked you if he would tell Tsuna first. You assumed that I was insinuating that Gokudera holds Tsuna in higher regards than you." Reborn looked at Yamamoto from beneath the brim of his fedora. "I've always known you were one for insecurities, but this seems to be something a little more."

Reborn was right; it circled back to jealousy.

Yamamoto could try all he wanted, but he was jealous of how Tsuna took up all of Gokudera's love.

He shook the thought away. No, he shouldn't be jealous about that. If Gokudera treated him as kindly and gently as he treated Tsuna, than… well, that wouldn't be the Gokudera that he loved. Yet, still… He wouldn't mind if Gokudera trusted him with a few more things…

Hey, wait a moment… "You were insinuating that Gokudera holds Tsuna in higher regards than me." Yamamoto pointed accusingly at the mercenary. "Why are you trying to drive a wedge between me and Gokudera?"

"You know me better than that, Yamamoto. I never try to 'drive a wedge' between anyone. I carry a very heavy hammer and beat idiots over the head with it until things get resolved." Reborn stood to his feet and tipped his fedora in farewell to Yamamoto, leaving a thick and heavy silence behind him as he departed.

Yamamoto scratched his temple. "'Till things get resolved, huh?"

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Children grated on his nerves.

Especially nosy kids who thought they knew it all.

More that though, he hated nosy kids who actually did know it all.

For once, it was Ambrogio trying to stare him down, his intelligent obsidian gaze glittering as they it focused on him with almost predatory intentions.

He was showing his father's traits the more he tried to dissect Gokudera without even touching him. His eyes were doing a fairly good job of cowing the usually fearless storm guardian; they were just too like Reborn's bottomless orbs when he had been a baby arcobaleno.

He was actually… almost afraid to snap at the child. Snapping at Fulmine was easy enough – she looked exactly like her annoying mother. He usually didn't have a problem snapping at Ambrogio, but he was being so forward with his glare that Gokudera was subtly trying to put distance between them.

Fulmine had passed out about five minutes ago, resting in the coils of the anaconda Lambo had outright refused to let Gokudera kill. Suspiciously enough, the snake was twice the length it had been since partnering up with the tiny girl.

After a heavy silence, Ambrogio glared at him. "You're pregnant. I'm getting sick of watching you walk around like it's a big secret."

It was the coldest, sharpest tone Gokudera had ever heard the miniature genius use.

He balked, feeling the color drain from his face.

"You're killing him, the more you pull away."

He clenched his jaw. "What the fuck are you talking about it?"

"I'm talking about the fucking idiot who loves you with all his heart." Ambrogio flippantly shot back.

Gokudera felt that something was terribly wrong. Ambrogio had never before cursed; Lambo was so adamant on keeping his children from using bad language (for reasons Gokudera had never understood considering that the cow used to swear as a kid) that Ambrogio wouldn't dare dirty his tongue with the foul words.

"I'm talking about the fucking idiot who loves you with all his heart and suffers for your selfishness and distrust."

"I trust him!" He snapped. Why was he arguing with the child?

Why was he so afraid?

"If you trust him, why don't you stop torturing him with your distance and show him the life you two created together?" Ambrogio airily questioned.

"You wouldn't understand!" He was on his feet, screaming; he could hardly hear his own words over the rushing blood in his ears. "You're just a kid!"

Ambrogio looked up at him with such old eyes – eyes like obsidian that had been lost in the ground since ancient times – that flashed with images of Lambo during his pregnancy, the pain and humiliation and weakness he had had to suffer.

Gokudera trembled; how could Ambrogio's gaze be so deep? Ambrogio couldn't know of what Lambo had had to go through during his pregnancy!

"I'm a kid." The child agreed. "But I'm the kid of the man who had to live through hell and wanted nothing more than his lover to acknowledge him. You're the coward who isn't having any difficulties and has a lover who wants nothing more than to help you. You make me sick."

He said that last word with such disgust and such hatred that Gokudera felt dirty. He felt unworthy and naked and weak.

Yamamoto stood behind Ambrogio, his back to Gokudera.

The silverette was gasping for breath. When had the idiot gotten there? Had he heard the whole conversation?

Something was seeping down his inner thighs. Blood! It gushed in waves from his birth canal, his belly shrinking until his ribs were revealed in starch contrast.

Yamamoto turned around towards him, his amber eyes never looking at him.

Cradled in his arms was a tiny dead infant bathed in blood and mucus.

"AAAAAAAH!"

Gokudera slapped his hands to his belly, feeling the swell there. He looked around himself with wild eyes, tears not yet falling but casting their own sheen on his haunted spring green gaze.

He was in bed… … The twins were nowhere to be seen and there was no blood.

Yamamoto wasn't in the bed with him.

Gokudera sobbed into his knees, shoulders shaking. For the past three nights, Yamamoto had been giving him the cold shoulder. Gokudera finally didn't have to fight the swordsman on what intimacy was good or bad.

Yet he only felt more alone then ever.

And now with this nightmare, this horrible, obscene horror.

He shook.

So evil… Ambrogio had been so evil and heartless in his dream. Yet he had been so true. And Yamamoto… Yamamoto and their dead child… Oh god.

He didn't make it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of his rolling belly.

The putrid smell of vomit wafted from the side of the bed as he tried to stop himself from crying. He was Gokudera Hayato! He was smart and strong and the Tenth's right hand man! A nightmare shouldn't affect him like this… A nightmare shouldn't…

He looked to the other side of the bed, arms wrapped around his midsection.

He was alone.

He had had plenty of nightmares in the past; some nights, it got to the point where he couldn't fall asleep. He had had to live through hell before being accepted into his beloved Tenth's life. Until Reborn had called him over to 'test' the next Don, Gokudera had been used, abused, and misunderstood as he hunted down his own way of living.

The life he had had to have before finding his true place was a horrid nightmare in itself, something that had embittered him nearly as much as his mother's death.

The difference between those nights and this night was that he had always had the baseball-loving idiot to laugh the fear away, drag him to his solid chest, and hum some ridiculous tune beneath his breath until Gokudera fell back to sleep.

Tonight, he had only the silence. And the longer he listened to the silence, the clearer Ambrogio's words were in his mind, demeaning him time and time again.

"You make me sick."

He let loose one sob – bit his bottom lip till it bled to try and stop any more sound – and then pushed his face into the bed, the wet, tearing sniffles muted by the covers.

He heard the door creak open.

Had someone heard him scream?

Arms wrapped around him and dragged him into a familiar lap, his head compressed against a familiar solid chest.

"Gokudera…" Yamamoto murmured near his ear. "Whenever you're ready to tell me… I'm here for you. I'll play by your game for now and give you time to put your thoughts in order, but please don't let it go so far that even you can't stand your own silence."

What an uncharacteristic thing for him to say.

Then again, Gokudera wasn't feeling like himself either.

He trembled. "It's growing in me." He snarled. "I'm pregnant and I'm scared and I'm angry. I don't even like kids, what if I hate this brat too? What if people start calling me a 'mom'? What if I die?"

Yamamoto tilted his head up and kissed him with all the love in his heart. "What if you love this brat so much, you never want to let go? What if you blow anyone up who calls you a mom and this brat ends up calling you its mom anyway and that makes you feel proud of yourself? What if you live?" Yamamoto broke the unusually somber persona by offering his signature grin. "Hah hah! I could see that, Gokudera; I can see you being a really protective mama who goes growly on anyone who tries to hurt our baby." His eyes became heated. "Your eyes will get that really fierce glow in them like a big cat about to pounce on the bad guys and you'll scowl in that pretty way you do that makes everyone think you're going to kill them."

He planted a hand on Gokudera's sloping belly. "Mah… I'm jealous just thinking about it. 'Cause I know you, Gokudera – once you let someone into your heart, you never let go. And the fact that you're so worried about the baby shows me that you've already let this little bundle sneak past your defenses."

He kissed each of Gokudera's trembling eyelids. "And if you do die… Than I think we'll have Lambo raise our kid. He's doing a really good job with the twins."

The silverette flinched, eyes shooting open. "Wait, what? Why would the cow be raising our kid?"

Yamamoto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Heh heh! Didn't you know, Gokudera? I can't live without you. So if you die, I'll keep being the 'baseball-loving, idiotic freak' that I am and follow after you, no matter how many times you tell me not to."

"… Yamamoto…"

"So you have to live, Gokudera." The rain guardian went on. "And you have to tell yourself everyday that you're going to live. Or else we'll never be a family and our kid will never know what an awesome 'mom' he could have had."

"… I think… He would be better off with just his dad…"

"Hm?"

"You'd be a great dad, you idiot."

"I hope to be a great daddy! But I'm going to need my hubby to help me along, y'know? I've heard from a very reliable source that I'm pretty hopeless and really stupid, so I'll definitely need direction in raising a child."

Gokudera was startled to hear the insults he had thrown at his lover be used in such a sense that actually made the other guardian sound dependent on him.

"… Fine." He looked away. His head thumped against Yamamoto's shoulder and he curled his legs to his chest, dragging a blanket off the bed and over himself. "Since you put it that way, you can't be trusted to raise our brat alone… so I guess I'll have to be the damn mom of this relationship and make this family run smoothly."

Yamamoto fell back against the pillows, Gokudera sprawled over him. "Yep!" He nuzzled his head into his silver hair. "Oh, and Gokudera?"

"What is it, freak?"

"I love you~"

Gokudera wordlessly pushed closer.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Lambo was staring at Gokudera.

Gokudera was staring at Ambrogio.

Ambrogio was sleeping in his momma's arms, tucked neatly to Lambo's chest.

Fulmine was having a staring contest with the sunny yellow anaconda Lambo had saved from imminent death some weeks before. The snake was twice as long as it had been when it had first arrived at the mansion and suspicions ran wild that Fulmine was feeding it sun chakra.

"… Stupid?" Lambo slowly called, a thoughtful frown on his lips.

Gokudera shifted uncomfortably and directed his glare at the wall, for once not retorting the nickname. "It's nothing…"

Despite looking disbelieving, Lambo nodded and offered a small smile. "If you want to be stubborn… I won't push." There was a glint in his eyes. "I'll just have to ask Yamamoto or Tsuna later."

Gokudera flew into a string of curses beneath his breath.

Fulmine gasped. "Potty mouth!"

"Fuck you!"

Had Gokudera not been pregnant, the lightening bolt Lambo directed at him probably would have struck him down. As it was, he went through the rest of his day, his left arm numb.

"Damn cow…"

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Reborn had a cigarette to his lips, a coffee cup in one hand, and the other hand on the brim of his fedora, tilting it just so over his eyes as he smirked around the butt of his cancer stick. "Don't you look smug." He purred.

Yamamoto had both his dress coat and the sleeved vest beneath unbuttoned to flaunt his taut belly and defined pectorals. He wasn't an overly muscular man with a taunting six-pack, but he was a tall man with more power in his agile body than someone who weighed three times more than him.

His amber eyes were alight, love kindled deep in their abyss and a cheek-splitting grin on his lips. "Hah hah! Gokudera let me in last night~"

"Did he now?"

"You don't sound so surprised."

"Why would I be? I wanted you two to get back together; what I want, I get."

Yamamoto smirked dangerously. "Is that how you got Lambo? Hah hah~ I always knew there was another reason why he went for someone so much older than himself…"

"Watch it, Yamamoto." Reborn warned, even as he gave an answering smirk. "Older or not, I can still cap your ass."

They descended into a companionable silence.

"What was your wedding like?" The guardian suddenly asked.

Beneath the shadow of the fedora, Reborn quirked an eyebrow. "Now why would I tell you that?"

"Because no one was there to see it."

"That was the point."

"Hah hah! Yeah, I guess so…" The quiet that fell after was expecting – like Yamamoto knew Reborn was going to answer his question and was waiting.

Reborn crushed his cigarette out and took a sip of his coffee. "It was quiet and the only other people I had to share my 'wife' with were two babies who weren't even old enough to shit themselves half the time."

Yamamoto stared up at the clear blue sky above. "Wasn't it lonely for Lambo, though?"

"Lambo didn't want to get married in the first place." Reborn remarked without emotion.

Yamamoto grinned. "You're so forceful, Reborn…"

The hitman smirked yet again. "I get what I want… and I wanted that damn cow." His eyes slid towards Yamamoto. "What do you want?"

The man answered without pause. "I want whatever makes Gokudera happy."

"Then a runaway wedding won't do."

"Hah hah!" Yamamoto rubbed the back of his head as if suddenly sheepish. "I never thought you could be wrong, Reborn!" The hitman frowned questioningly. "A runaway wedding is perfect. I just have to know who to invite while I kidnap Gokudera!"

---

Author's Note: I began this story February 13th and finished it March 9th. So far, how are people feeling about this story?

Like it? Love it? Do you see a shitload of errors? Are you displeased with a female Gokudera? Please tell me, I won't blow up in your faces (I'll be honest, working with a female Gokudera is extremely difficult for me – I'm not entirely sure why I did that…).