Okay! Here's a new idea that I've come up with! I've seen this done for other games, but not Dead Space (at least, not to my knowledge), so I thought I'd give it a shot. I don't write a lot of humor stories, so let me know what you honestly think of this idea (praise or constructive criticism is welcome)! I've written two other humor stories, but not for a long period of time. This first chapter will just be the opening cutscene and the next chapter should actually get into the gameplay! With that, enjoy! :)

NOTE: This is not meant to offend anybody, nor is it poking fun at the tragic elements of the game.

DISCLAIMER: Everyone belongs to Visceral Games and EA.

WARNING: There will be Dead Space spoilers throughout this story. (I will only write this once, as it applies to the rest of the story.)

Italics- game dialogue (and I've also written "game" in front of everyone's name to distinguish between the game and real life)

Isaac Clarke was never into videogames that much, but that sentiment would change during one of his breaks from the CEC office.

After escaping the monotonous tasks of repair work, the systems engineer entered a store he never thought he would set foot in: a videogame store. Let's see what's here today, he thought as he browsed the shelves…and came across something strange. At first, he thought it was a joke, but as soon as he picked up the jewel case and studied both the front and back covers, he knew he had to call someone about it.

"Nicole!" he cried as he sent a video log to her, "You won't believe what I just found!"

"What?" Isaac's girlfriend, Nicole, asked as she tilted her head to the side and widened her eyes in curiosity.

"I just found a videogame based on my life!" Isaac reported, "It's called Dead Space. Here, look." He held it up for her to see.

At first, Nicole couldn't believe her eyes. "This is a joke, isn't it?" she asked.

"Not at all," Isaac said, "Apparently, I'm fighting for my life on some creepy ship." He flipped the game around so that his girlfriend could see the back cover.

"Oh my God," she petitioned, "You weren't kidding. Can I come over later? I'd like to see this game based on your life."

"Sure," Isaac agreed, "I could use the company anyway." He smiled and watched as Nicole smiled back at him.

"I've got a few more shifts at the hospital," she explained, "But I'll come over as soon as I get out. Okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you then. I love you." And with that, Isaac hung up.

I'll buy this game, then, and see what it's all about, Isaac thought as he approached the cash register. "May I see your ID, please?" the cashier asked politely, "This is an M-rated game, after all."

Sighing, Isaac reached for his CEC identification and flashed it in front of him, and after that, the cashier gasped. "You're the Isaac Clarke from the Dead Space games!" he exclaimed, widening his eyes in surprise.

Isaac had to laugh. "My reputation precedes me," he commented, "I didn't even know I was from a game." The teenager didn't say anything, but he instead rang the game up and then handed it to Isaac.

"Happy gaming," he said as the engineer walked out the door. As soon as he stepped foot outside, however, he caught sight of two familiar people.

"Isaac, where have you been?" Zach Hammond demanded as he and his coworker, Kendra Daniels, marched up to Isaac, "The elevator is broken again!"

Isaac wordlessly held up Dead Space, and the others gasped. "Isaac?" Kendra asked, "Why is your name on the back cover of this game?"

"No idea," Isaac mumbled, "But I'm going to find out what this is all about after work."

"Can we come, too?" Hammond asked, "We could make it a CEC employee gathering." He then brightened up.

"I know!" he cried, "I'll invite all our colleagues!"

At this, Isaac paled. "All of them?" he echoed. He didn't have the heart to tell them that he had intended on only spending the afternoon with Nicole, but just as he was about to explain that to them, Hammond replied again.

"All of them," he repeated.

"Oh, that's not necessary," Isaac began, but Kendra ran right over him.

"We'll all meet at your house after work!" she decided, and before Isaac could protest, she and Hammond were gone.

"Nicole?" Isaac began as he contacted his girlfriend again, "Change of plans. Half the CEC has just been invited to our gaming night."

"Figures," Nicole replied, rolling her eyes, "Kendra and Hammond, right?"

"I tried to stop them," Isaac insisted.

"I know you did," Nicole said, "But we'll still have fun once they leave. Once we figure out what this game is. See you then!"

And later on that day, Isaac and Nicole hovered by Isaac's Xbox 360 while some of the other CEC employees made snacks and poured drinks for each other. As of now, Kendra and Hammond were sitting cross-legged on the floor while the others that they had invited were getting situated, the others being Terrence Kyne and Challus Mercer, two scientists who also happened to be Unitologists.

"All right, I think it's ready!" Isaac announced as he finished hooking up the controller and watched as the main menu for Dead Space appeared. Everyone around him cheered.

"This game is very intriguing, I must say," Kyne piped up from the back, "A game about our very own Mr. Clarke."

"Shh!" Kendra hissed, "It's starting!" Kyne immediately shut up once Isaac was finished picking the Medium Difficulty. Following that, the group watched as the opening cutscene began, with words flashing very fast across the screen. In the corner, Nicole shut the lights off just as Isaac gasped.

"Nicole!" he cried, "Get over here and look at this!"

"What?" Nicole asked as she hurriedly sat down next to Isaac. As soon as she saw what he was talking about, she gasped as well.

"Isaac, it's me," a familiar voice began, "I wish I could talk to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I wish I could just…talk to someone. It's all falling apart here, I can't believe what's happening! It's strange…such a little thing…"

"Oh, my God!" Nicole quipped, "That's me!"

"You're in the game, too?" Kyne cried from the back.

"Apparently," Nicole answered, "This is getting weird now."

"Well, there I am," Isaac commented once game-Nicole's transmission finished, "The back of my head at least."

"You have a cute head," Nicole joked, kissing him on the cheek.

"Kendra?" Hammond shouted, and everyone looked up as game-Kendra swaggered onto the screen.

"How many times have you watched that thing?" she asked game-Isaac, "Guess you really miss her. Don't worry, we're almost there. You'll be able to look her up once we're on board. Looks like you two have a lot of catching up to do."

"What the hell am I doing there?" Kendra demanded as she shoved some popcorn into her mouth.

"Better yet, why am I apparently missing?" Nicole piped up.

"There's Hammond!" Mercer finally spoke up, pointing to the next shot, "Why are all of you in this game?"

"All right, everyone, we're here," game-Hammond announced, "Synching our orbit now."

"I'm not even going to ask," Hammond decided, "I'm expecting Dr. Kyne and Dr. Mercer to pop up next."

Everyone laughed.

"All this trouble over that chunk of rock," game-Kendra commented.

"Deep space mining is a lucrative business, Miss Daniels," game-Hammond explained to her, "Aegis 7 is a gold mine according to prospector's reports. Cobalt, silicon, osmium…Now, where is she? There she is. We have visual contact."

"So that's the Ishimura. Impressive."

"The USG Ishimura. Biggest planet cracker in her class. And it looks like they already popped the cork."

"I'm not that clueless about these things," Kendra pointed out.

"And I'm not that pushy," Hammond agreed.

"Why do I have nothing to say about all this?" Isaac wondered out loud from next to Nicole.

"Why is it all dark?" game-Kendra asked, "I don't see any running lights."

"Corporal, take us in closer and hail them," game-Hammond ordered, "And stay clear of that debris field. We're here to fix their ship, not the other way around." One of the men sitting in the front began transmitting a message to the Ishimura.

"How come we didn't invite them?" Kyne inquired.

"Do they even have names?" Nicole added.

"USG Ishimura, this is the emergency maintenance team of the USG Kellion responding to your distress call. Come in, Ishimura."

"You're going to have to boost the signal if their power is low," game-Kendra explained.

"Yes, we know," game-Hammond replied in a slightly irritated voice, "Boost the signal. More."

"Never heard of a total communication blackout on one of these things. You'd think with a thousand people on board, someone would pick up the phone." At that, everyone in the room quieted down as a foreign transmission reached his or her ears.

"What is that?" Hammond asked, and everyone began laughing as one of the characters in the game asked the same question.

"I think the game read your mind," Kendra teased, playfully punching Hammond on the shoulder.

"What is that?"

"It's a busted array like we thought," game-Kendra explained while the real Kendra beamed over the fact that her counterpart sounded more like her real-life self, "Sounds like they're having problems with their encoder. You get us down there and Isaac and I can fix it. Forty-eight hours max."

"I love how I'm not commenting on any of this right now," Isaac piped up, "I usually show some emotion." Nicole leaned her head on the engineer's shoulder as he said this.

"All right, you heard the lady," game-Hammond said, "Take us in. Let's see what needs fixing."

"Gravity tethers engaged. Automatic docking procedure is go."

Suddenly, something exploded in the game, causing the Kellion to rock back and forth. Everyone lost his or her footing, and even game-Isaac lurched forward in his seat. "That doesn't look good," Nicole whispered.

"What the hell…?" game Hammond demanded.

"Sir, the autodock-"

"What is it?"

"We're off track! We're going to hit the hull!"

"You mean we're going to die before the game even starts?" Isaac asked.

"I hope not," Kendra responded, "I want to see how much more information I can pass on to everyone."

"Hit the blast shields!" game-Hammond ordered, "Their guidance tether is damaged! Switch to manual! Now!"

"Inside the magnetic field?" game-Kendra shrieked, "Are you insane? Abort!"

"NO!" game-Hammond snapped, "We can make it inside! Corporal, I gave you an order!"

"Ahh! The field's too strong!"

"I'm seriously beginning to worry for your lives now," Kyne mused worriedly as he sipped more of his bottled beer.

"Me too," Nicole agreed, "When will I show up?"

All the CEC employees watched in silence as the Kellion crashed into the Ishimura in a flash of white light. "I…have nothing to say right now," Mercer said.

"I do," Isaac retorted, "This is going to be one interesting game."