A/N :HEY GUYS WHAT'S UP NOT REALLY DON'T HURT ME MAN DO I TEND TO START MY FICS LIKE THIS. Must be because I type in all caps and never ever ever update when people want me to.

Or not…

Haha. Well. Anyways, if you're reading this, props to you for not giving up on my fell-off-the-face-of-this-fandom fics! No really, it's been a fucking year since I updated what are you doing here. JUST KIDDING I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT LOSING HOPE IN MY WILL TO STOP PROCRASTINATION. Though honestly, it was like 35% procrastination and 65% legitimate busy-ness (which isn't a word, I know.) gonna be a junior next year ;_; I need to stop reminding myself. I mean, psh, what's so scary about 6 APs, right? RIGHT?! OTL

BTW I'm in Hong Kong right now so that's a not really cool fun fact if you want to…never mind. And I just came back from Japan, for those of you (cough no one actually) that were interested. PM if you want to talk? I'm quite lonely here ;c

Well, without further stalling…

"…and you are?"

Mystogan looked down at his captor- or at least, his rather unsuccessful, incapable, sorry-excuse-of-all-failed-attempt-to-be-a-success ful-Mystogannapper-in-the-history-of-all-Mystogann appers (like kidnapper, but you know, Mystogan).

And hell, there were many. But this guy-this guy, was really something. Or rather, was really nothing. Like, beyond nothing.

Sure, Mystogan, like any other great king, had his share of "random strangers busting into his room and trying to take his life or get ransom out of keeping him hostage" which was promptly followed by his many "are you fucking retarded, what do you take me for?" and then proceeded with a "bam bam pow instant KO evil weenies gone, happily ever after" kind of scenario. These attempts were common, given his status, and these results were also common, given his skill.

But oh, this one. Wait. Who was he again? "This one/guy/man/dude/idiot" was getting remarkably redundant in the King's mind. Didn't he already ask for that one/guy/man/dude/idiot's identity? Why hasn't he answered him yet? He was the KING. All his orders were absolute to everyone and everything (other than Knightwalker, of course. Though not quite sure which category she would fall under…)

"I'll ask again, sir. And you can swear on the Royal Seal that I will get an answer out of you, one way or another. So I recommend you to choose the least painfully excruciating option, yes? Name?"

"La-Lahar…"

Lahar? Wasn't that the name of one of the military heads for the Magic Council in Earthland? The one who, from what he remembered of Erza's letters, was constantly after Jellal's ass? That stickler, perfectionist, typical Type B, man?

Hah. So this one's after Edolas' Jellal?

Ah damn, I called him "this one" again. Lahar. L-A-H-A-R. His name is Lahar. Edolas' Lahar.

Boy, although one thing remained similar between the Lahar of both worlds, there sure were a hell of a lot of differences. For one, this Lahar was unthinkably stupid. As in, stupid enough to have a key that unlocks the room he was keeping Mystogan in also be capable of unlocking the handcuffs he locked around the King, and to leave that miraculously multi-purpose key in the same room as Mystogan, thus accidently locking himself out of the room of the captive. But wait, there's more! Not only was he dumb enough to do all of the aforementioned, but he was also dumb enough to leave his weapons inside of said room.

So, he really, truly, did make Mystogan's job that much easier-something that Mystogan really, truly needed; an easier job. And once again, this fanfiction comes back to one major problem in Mystogan's life.

Erza Knightwalker.

Speaking of which, he wondered how Knightwalker was doing on her side.

Had she even noticed by now that he was missing?

Of course she had. She was a crazy-psycho-insane-and-fearless-warrior.

Did she even care?

Of course she did. Afterall, she was his crazy-psycho-insane-and-fearless-warrior.

Was she okay?

Of course she was. Again, she was a crazy-psycho-insane-and-fearless-warrior.

Thinking of Knightwalker in some sort of troublesome predicament made him chuckle outwardly at the absurd and impossible situation. Yet, at the same time, it kind of made his chest twinge, imagining her in pain.

Did he even care?

Of course he did. Maybe-just maybe, because he liked his women crazy, and psycho, and insane, and fearless.

Was he okay?

Of course he was. Who said that problems needed to be fixed? Mystogan, for one, thought that problems were wonderful additions to life. They made his rather dull and boring existence exciting and refreshing. Problems weren't really, all that bad.

Would they be okay?

Of course they would. Because she was his knight, and he her King. Because in life, things were just as simple as that.

Easier said than done though, right? But in actuality, things weren't "as simple as that" on Erza's side.

"You just had to ditch the King for lunch with Sugarboy, didn't you, Coco?"

Knightwalker jokingly (jokingly?!) asked her comrade. The two were on their way to where they believed Mystogan to be through means of a bumpy wooden carriage pulled by a couple of massive Exceeds-oh my god ew it's Nichiya. Erza much rather preferred her Legion, but all of the army's Legions were scheduled for their yearly physical checkups (huge scary dragon-like thingies get sick too, you know?)

She didn't actually care why Coco would go to lunch with Sugarboy, nor did she even want to know any more about her thoughts on that disgusting man. However, Knightwalker did know that she needed to keep her calm and cool exterior, regardless of how frazzled she felt inside. If her division saw how far from calm she really was right now, hell would be unleashed.

She knew what her position meant. Royal Army Captain of the 2nd Magic War Division (though she supposes it should be changed since there is no more magic in Edolas). It wasn't just a title. It wasn't just a status either.

It was a responsibility- a responsibility that she took pride in having.

It was a promise-a promise to her King, to Mystogan, that she would without a question follow his orders, and his orders alone, in protecting her people. And in order to do just that, she knew that she could never show her anxiety, because if she did, everyone around her would follow suit and fall apart. And she also knew that the fearless Erza Knightwalker would never allow that to happen in her presence.

She had to put on this façade to keep those around her determined and focused.

She had to start a pointless conversation with Coco about a topic as appalling as Sugarboy.

"I-I didn't want to be rude!" the flustered girl replied.

"Come on! It's Sugarboy! Look at him. It's just like he's asking for rejection."

"Captain! Stop teasing him! He's a sweet boy, okay?"

"No pun intended?"

"Haha, actually no, pun intended. Oh, we're almost ther-oh…no-"

"Ah, shit."

Knightwalker rushed out of the vehicle as her mind tried to count how outrageously outnumbered they were. It was Coco, two newbies, and she against..

One hundred and seventy eight..

Seventy nine...

Eighty.

Hah. One hundred and eighty versus 2 and a half Edolas Royal Army Soldiers (1 Knightwalker 1/2 Coco 1/2 newbie #1 and 1/2 newbie #2)

Bring it on.

She hadn't had a chance to experience so much fun since the days that Faust ruled. Sure, her daily bickering with Mystogan was all sorts of fun in itself, but for Erza Knightwalker, the ex-Fairy Hunter, there was nothing like being outnumbered in battle to bring back that exhilarating thrill that she loved so much.

It wasn't that she was a sadist, so to say. Or at the least, this wasn't what made her a sadist. She was simply addicted to the rush of adrenaline and probably dopamine that surged through her during fights.

Even without her beloved Ten Commandments, Erza Knightwalker was quite a force to be reckoned with in hand to hand combat. She was frequently on par with the King himself and had even defeated him a number of times.

So this? This was child's play.

Before Coco and the other two trainees even took a single step out of the carriage, Knightwalker had already charged into the large crowd of enemies.

Fragments of her memories with Mystogan flashed through her vision as she clashed her way to the center of the crowd.

He was okay, right?

He really wasn't as wimpy and useless as she made him out to he, right?

Mystogan was a King, first and foremost. He was powerful. And these weaklings-they definitely wouldn't even be able to leave a scratch on him.

Right?

One after the other they began to fall, and their numbers began to dwindle. Knightwalker eagerly counted the diminishing number of opponents left.

Ninety one...

Ninety...

In mere minutes she had already halved their differences.

It was at this point that she realized why she was fighting even more viciously than she had ever fought for Faust. She realized that it wasn't just the feeling of superiority and raw power that she loved. No, there was some other reason why she was mercilessly and rapidly demolishing her opponents.

And that reason was Mystogan. Not her King, Mystogan. But just Mystogan.

Because for once, she had a reason to fight; a reason other than "'cause it's fun to whoop someone's ass". And though she would never admit it, she had him to thank for that.

Three...

Two...

Oh, the last one ran away. Well, whatever. She had a King to save, anyways.

Erza ran into the mansion where Mystogan was and busted through the doors. Since she didn't know exactly which room he was in, she figured that this would be the quickest way to find him. And thus, she shouted.

"HEY, PRINCESS MYSTOGAN! YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR IS HERE TO SAVE YOUR BUTT!"

She turned to a familiar low chuckle. As he emerged from the shadow of a pillar inside the mansion, she saw a rather serene smile on her King's face.

"Erza. What could you possibly be talking about? I'm my own knight in shining armor."

"That's Captain Knightwalker to you."

"And that's King Mystogan to you. Surely not Princess, Erza."

"Idiot."

"You have no idea. I really must be an idiot to keep someone like you as my first commanding officer."

"Whatever. I found you, didn't I?"

"Ah, that you did. But I didn't need you, did I?"

She scoffed and narrowed her eyebrows. "You don't say...hah, good luck finding a ride in the middle of nowhere back to the capital then. Later, Princess."

Knightwalker then quickly left, telling Coco that they got the wrong place and that the King was, in fact, never missing. So the gang headed back towards the capital, leaving our poor Princess Mysty alone, in the middle of nowhere.

The following morning, Mystogan returned in shabby clothing and also in major need of deodorant, a shower, razor, deodorant, mirror, minor medical attention, and oh yeah, deodorant. Lots of it.

But he was still happy.

Because he had a feeling. A very minuscule and possibly doubtful feeling. But a feeling, nonetheless, that Erza Knightwalker- the begrudgingly violent, temperamental, always premenstruating Erza Knightwalker- had become that much closer to him.

Though she didn't make it blatantly obvious, he knew that she was worried. He knew that she cared about him-not only as her King, but also as someone important to her. He knew that she, regardless of what empty façade she put on, was scared; scared that he could one day disappear from her side. And that reason alone was enough to make him want to stay. It was more than enough to make him want to suffer through their every day arguments and battles.

'Cause it made him happy.

"Ahh…maybe I am a masochist afterall."

A/N: How was it?! Please leave a review~