The first time he hears it, he thinks he's sleeping. Low moans are coming from the right side of the room. It takes a few seconds before he realizes what's happening.

Blaine's having sex with someone. Now that he's identified the sound, Kurt separates the grunts and hears the deep rumble of Blaine's voice, crying out with pleasure.

Kurt exhales slowly, the sudden shock of tears already falling down his cheeks. He knew it was a terrible idea to become Blaine's roommate, especially since Blaine had a boyfriend. But he couldn't resist the boy; he needed him to be in his life.

But he never thought in a million years that Blaine would actually bring his boyfriend back to their room. It was inconceivable.

Kurt was trapped. He heard wet smacking sounds. He imagined the boyfriend clawing his hands into Blaine's back, kissing the tender spot beneath Blaine's left ear.

His body shook silently with the force of his sobs. It was so much harder to cry in silence than it was to let out the keening ring out through the room. He couldn't do to Blaine, though. It would be humiliating to Kurt, and awkward for everyone.

For a split second, Kurt thought about trying to masturbate to the sounds, but gave that up immediately. Even the thought made his stomach roll with nausea. Instead, he bit down hard on his index, and tried his best to mute his despairing moans. But soon, his finger ached, and agonizing thoughts rolled through his brain.

I thought he liked me as a friend, at least. Who does that to a friend? Doesn't he know I'm right here, six feet away? How can he not know how much I -

Now Kurt's nose is filling with snot, and he's finding it difficult to breathe. He can't stand this anymore. He wanted to wait until they were asleep, but it's useless. He springs from the bed, with the grace of a dancer, and fumbles blindly in the dark for the door.

He trips over something in the dark, and lands hard on his knee.

He curses softly to himself, and rubs his shin.

You left your backpack on the ground too? he thinks spitefully. I have to get out of here.

Behind him, he hears a questioning, "Kurt?" but he ignores it. He gets up and hobbles outside of the room.

He lets the door fall close with a loud thunk, and rests his forehead against the wall.

Finally, he's free. The tears he'd unsuccessfully held at bay are now free too. They roll down his cheeks in unrelenting waves, as he hugs himself tightly.

It's useless. It's all fucking useless.

"Damn it," he murmurs. "So stupid. So freaking stupid."

He'd fallen asleep in a haze of exhaustion, futilely trying to study for a chemistry exam. He'd tried to wait for Blaine to come home, since Blaine was brilliant at chemistry. When he hadn't, Kurt had tossed his chemistry book under his bed, and fallen asleep instantly. Until -

He wants all of this to be a horrible nightmare. But it's all too real.

"Kurt?" he hears the familiar voice. "Jesus, are you okay?"

Kurt opens his eyes, and glares coldly at the object of his torment.

"Just leave me alone." he growls. "Go back to your love nest."

Blaine blinks in confusion, and it's only then Kurt realizes he's not wearing his contacts, or his glasses. He must be nearly blind.

"Shit, you were in there!" he realizes. He claps his hand to his mouth, and Kurt almost buys the look of abject terror which flashes across his face. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I hadn't seen Justin in awhile, and he wanted to - I thought you were still out at the study group."

Kurt rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, and grabs Blaine's shirt collar and yanks him closer so he can see Kurt's face up close.

"I left," he states flatly. "I was hoping you could help me with chemistry. Instead - well, take a good look."

Blaine's eyes widen with understanding as the haze of Kurt's face sharpens. He takes in the blotchy cheeks, the red eyes.

"Kurt," he murmurs. "I -"

"Did you really think I moved in with you because you're such a great mentor?" Kurt spits bitterly. He releases Blaine's collars, and scoots away from the boy. Blaine's nearness is unsettling. His t-shirt is thin, and Kurt can see every defined muscle underneath.

He takes a few steps back, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

With his back to Blaine, he speaks, voice clear as a bell. "I'm in love with you, you know that? Why the hell else would I be here?"

"But you said you were cool with him," Blaine says softly. "You said you were happy for me."

Kurt recoils at the words, and spins to face Blaine once more.

"You really don't get it?" he says, with an almost childlike amusement. "When you love someone, you'd do anything to be near them. Anything to just be in their presence. You don't ever want to see them hurt. Or worried. Even - even -" his voice trembles, and his bravado is cracking. "Even try to stay quiet so they can enjoy a night with their boyfriend."

Kurt shakes his head disbelief.

"If you don't understand that, you've never been in love at all."

He touches Blaine's cheek gently, and kisses his forehead with resolve.

"You need glasses for more than your eyes, my friend." he says simply.

Blaine reaches for Kurt's wrist, but Kurt glides away.

"Get him out of here," he pleads. "I really need to sleep. The test is tomorrow."

He watches the older boy's face clear, as he sees a problem he can fix.

"I'll help you study," he promises.

Kurt wants to tell him to shove it, but he really needs the help.

"Fine." he says indifferently. "Whatever."

Blaine nods once, and presses his hands against Kurt's shoulders, gently.

"I'll be right back," he says.

Kurt shrugs, and slumps against the wall, with his eyes closed.

He feels a whoosh of air, and hears footsteps. A snatch of conversation, but he tunes it. The reassuring weight of Blaine settles next to him.

Blaine knocks his knees against Kurt's in a friendly gesture, and Kurt opens his eyes.

Blaine has found his glasses, and his curly hair is unruly against his forehead. Kurt can't help but smile, a quick quirk of his mouth.

The chemistry textbook is in his lap.

Kurt scoots closer to Blaine to look at the text.

"Okay." he hears above him. Blaine's breath is warm. "Let's get started."