OK, I never expected that to happen. I ever inteneded to actually hit you. Now IM scared, becasue I hurt you. I actualy hurt you. I gasped and before I could be yelled at I was out the door hearing you curse and gasp. Something you never do anymore. Your always calm neat and composed, only the natural reactions of a Furher. I remember running, people asking me where I was going. I was getting more worried when you didn't chase after. Usualy you did when I just walked away. I also still have vivid memories of being scared. the military was what helped me get info for everything. It could've been all taken away so quickly because I got angry. I stayed away from the office for about two weeks, or so. It was something like that. There was just one problem. I was paranoid. I wasn't eating or getting enough sleep. I never liked seeing my friends get hurt. An you were more of a friend, you made that quite clear. So when I reliazed I had hurt you it was unbearable. I frankly looked like shit, thats what Hughes had told me. It was hughes right? He was the one who had came knocking on my apartment door. NO it couldn't have been hughes he was, dead. It was Havoc, yea I knew It started with a H. I tried to run but he told me to stop, and I was too tired to argue so I stopped, where? I think it was halfway up my stairs of my house. I mean, I was also to scared to move. I was told I should apolgize. Thats where I was like what the hell? I thought I was in serious trouble, ecuse me from acting like a child. I guess I shuold have just stayed to see if you were ok. Instead of running away like a child and coward. I guess I'm really just saying sorry, or something like that. I never ment to hurt you and its been actually killing me, knowing I had caused you pain. IM sorry for dissepearing and not coming back. I tried to, I did but I couldnt bring myself to do it. Well, I hope your lsitening still since this message is about an hour long. I still feel cowardly for not being able to apolgize in person, maybe tomorrw I'll stop by and try.

Roy clicked the button on the message machine. He sighed and fell back on the couch feeling like a jerk and idiot. ANother day with out eating and another day with out showing up in work.

Another day hes reminded of his mistakes, hitting the one he loves.

He truly felt like a monster at that time.