Explain to me: What is the meaning of life?

I stepped onto the balcony and looked down at the cars below me. I swallowed, keeping my hand on the underside of the balcony above me.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Nothing matters.

Tyler is dead.

Logan gets what he wants. Most of what he wants.

My father hates me.

My mother couldn't care any less for my emotional status-Or my physical, for that matter.

Shane, well… He's perfectly fine without me. Reed can always be with him.

David and Wes have girlfriends and family to be with.

Kurt.

Well, he hardly likes me. All he sees in me is a mentor-Someone who is more like a wise role-model than a boyfriend or possible love interest.

But would a role model kill himself? How is that setting a good example?

I shook my head vigorously, gasping when I started to lean forward too far. I stepped back, just enough to balance myself.

No, I am going to do this. No one needs me here. I'm not even that good a singer anyway. And I only make people happy to make myself happy. I'm just…

Selfish.

I'm a selfish wanna-be popular kid who doesn't know when to be rational. Because none of what I'm doing is even close to rational. I'm about to kill myself. How the Hell is that rational?

But I'm going to do it anyway. Not because of my irrationality, but because I'm a child. I can't cope with my situation, so I resort to drastic measures. And no one'sgoing to help me because no one cares. No one understands. Not one can save me.

I'm better off dead.

I swallowed as I leaned forward just slightly. Yet I hesitated. Something caught my attention. Was it the cars? Was it a bird, making it's annoying cawing sounds? I looked up, to see if I could hear it again, but I realized it didn't come from somewhere in the sky.

"Blaine!" it came from behind me. I whipped my head around my shoulder to see someone standing at the door, on the verge of tears, as it looked.

It was Kurt.

Kurt stood there at the door, his hands gripping onto the frame so tightly that his knuckles were going white. He was breathing hard. As if he had been running. Had he seen me from the street? I didn't see him… Then again, I wasn't really focused on the people on the sidewalk, there was kind of something else going through my mind, and still is.

I'm going to kill myself. But Kurt took a hasty breath, as if to say something.

"Blaine, don't do it!" was all he did say. I found my voice after he did so.

"Why not?" it came out as more of a defensive scream, as if my intentions were clear as glass. Kurt clutched the door anyway, unmoving.

"B-Because this is never the answer, what do you think you're doing!" he screamed in return. I couldn't help but smile at him. Boy he was cute when he was trying to get his way. His eyes were just scrunched enough, so that he was cutting me down with his gaze.

But his eyes told otherwise. His eyes weren't in their usual, defensive state whenever Kurt wanted to get his way. They were more sad, and…

Heartbroken.

I licked my lips in nervousness. Did he honestly not want me to jump? Or is it just him trying to make some sort of point? I'm so confused.

I hardly even noticed Kurt begin to step into the room more fully, but cautiously.

"Please, Blaine… Just-Just step down from the railing… Every thing's going to be okay…" he tried to really assure me, I could tell, but how can he assure me of everything going to be okay when he can't even pull himself together?

I shook my head anyway as he stepped closer and closer, slowly. My mind is set on this one thing. This moment. This decision.

I will jump. And I will kill myself. And then I can be free from this unchanging world. I took a shaky breath and turned to the road again. I then lowered my hand from the ceiling, staring down at the streets below me. Maybe if I jump at just the right time, I can land on a car-I hear it's much less painful to land on the hood of a car than it is the cemented sidewalk. I licked my lips in anticipation and prepared my muscles for the leap-

"Blaine, please!" I stopped again. The screech that left Kurt's lips was not one of forcefulness and rationality, but of grief and despair.

The type of screech that I used for Tyler, when his day came. I swallowed, freezing my muscle movement.

"… Why don't you want me to jump…" I asked softly, not turning around but hearing Kurt catch his breath. I knew he was crying. And I knew he was close, but still far from the landing.

"B-Because we're friends, Blaine… And I don't want to see you get hurt, or-or die, or god-forbid kill yourself!" he screamed at me through the sobs. I couldn't bare to see or hear him cry, but what would it matter now? "Blaine, please!"

"Stop it!" I cut him off, clenching a fist. It wasn't out of anger, though. It was out of remorse. I felt awful for leaving Kurt, but I knew this would be for the best. He doesn't like me anymore than I like, say, Wes. For all I know, he could possibly hate me. And yet he stands here behind me, begging for me to live. What is that supposed to mean?

I swallowed, realizing that I needed to say something after cutting Kurt off so harshly. "Kurt, I… This is for the best…" I licked my dry lip, keeping my eyes locked on the street that seemed so far away. "I can't do this anymore… Kurt…" I swallowed back the urge to cry, but my voice began to crack just a tad. "… It hurts too much…" I managed the last part with only a whisper, but I knew Kurt heard me. Just with the way his small voice whimpered in denial acknowledged that fact.

"No, Blaine… No, this isn't how we do things…" he managed through a cracking voice as well. I swallowed again and decided to listen to him speak. On that informal cue, he continued. "Blaine… Don't kill yourself, we can fix this… I can help you…! Please, let me help you!" I shook my head and continued to stare at the streets below. Kurt, as well, continued. "Blaine, you are not going to kill yourself! I won't let you! You can't leave me like this! I-" he stopped himself. I probably would have stopped listening anyway, had he not mention that last part and gone on.

Does he need me? He wants me to be with him? In what way does he mean that?

I stood frozen on the railing, unsure of what to do now. I heard Kurt sniffle and choke on a sob. He still can't win… He doesn't mean anything of what he's saying. He's just trying to stop me from doing what I know is best.

I let my foot dangle over the side. This was it. One force of gravity and I'll be-

"Blaine, I love you!" I froze. My heart stopped beating for what seemed like forever. Every sound other than Kurt's sniffles were droned out. All I could even do was hear Kurt. I heard nothing else.

"Blaine, I love you! I want nothing more than to just be with you! I hate Logan, and I hate Tyler for breaking your heart! I hate Wes sometimes because he makes fun of the way you dress and sometimes act, and I hate the Twins when they piss you off, and sometimes I even hate Shane for pissing you off even more sometimes!" Words just spilled out of him like a waterfall. And all I could do was listen.

"I love how you dress, the way you're not afraid to dress like you're rocking the 80's, and-and when you sing, it's like a… Blast from the past or something! And your voice! Y-you're voice is amazing! I swoon every time you open your mouth, let alone use it to sing!" he paused to swallow, I figured. "And-and when we sang 'Baby It's Cold Outside,' I fell even more in love with you! And had I not already been in love with you before then, I would have certainly fallen then!

"Blaine, I love every part of you! Even the more emotional parts! And I love it how you get so detached from others when people start asking about your feelings, and I think it's adorable when you blush, or get frustrated with your math problems!" I blushed subconsciously at that notation.

"Blaine, I love you! Please! Don't do this!" he finally screeched. And then it was silent. All that was heard after a moment was the sound of someone trying to inhale shakily. I hadn't realized at the time that it was my own breath.

Upon finally breathing in, I slipped backwards, surprising myself with a stone floor a few feet under me. Then the tears came.

I couldn't stop myself. All the emotions came crashing down as I huddled myself in the corner between the sliding door and the wall separating my balcony

from my neighbor's, crying into my hands and keeping my knees close to my chest. I couldn't believe someone could possibly love me after all that I've done. And to see-to hear Kurt just say that he loves me so many times is just… Reassuring.

I suddenly felt someone pull me into their arms. I tensed automatically, but made no move to force Kurt away. I knew it was Kurt. It was always Kurt. How could I be so dense to realize that Kurt was there for me all along…?

I love him.

Upon realizing this for myself, I clutched onto Kurt's shirt for dear life, for I was just a few seconds away from losing it. And Kurt.

And I cried. I just cried into his chest. All he did was pull me close to him and rock back and forth-As a mother would do for her child. Something I can only vaguely remember that feeling. But it was soothing, the way he held me.

I had never realized that crying was so fulfilling. I had only ever cried when I was alone, in my room back at Dalton. But now, I had someone to hold me-actually hold me while I was crying. Is this a freaking dream?

No, this isn't a dream. I only know that because I know where I am. I know how I got here. I can feel the tears fly down my face. I can feel my own heart beat race like a gunshot. I can feel the soothing embrace provided by the man whom I love.

I'm awake. I'm alive. I'm in love.

Is that the meaning of life?

AN: So, this is kind of from my life story of Blaine, I guess. I'm still writing it as the episodes of Glee move on, so don't expect it until WAY later on in life. Okay, maybe in, like, a few months-but still. This is just a sort of one-shot excerpt, and I really like this scene because I love writing Blaine cry. Is that bad? Whatever.

I really hope you enjoyed it, and reviews are just lovely. They feed my sick, Klaine-obsessed mind. :]